Fic: Smalltown Boy (DMOC, Josh/Cooper, NC17)
Title: Smalltown Boy
Fandom: Dead Man On Campus
Pairing: Josh/Cooper
Rating: NC17
Summary: AU. Josh goes to visit Cooper in Buffalo and learns a lot more than he bargained for about how Cooper grew up. Part five of the Senior Year series.
Cooper didn't remember the drive back to his house; he didn't remember letting them in the front door, or the walk upstairs to his room. He had no idea when exactly Josh had gotten his jacket off or where it landed, but he didn't really care about any of that. All that mattered was the way Josh was moving against him, his hands in Cooper's hair and his mouth working its way across Cooper's jaw.
And he knew there was something they were supposed to be talking about; something he'd meant to tell Josh back at the club, but he couldn't focus long enough to remember what it was. It didn't seem to matter to Josh, anyway, so maybe it could wait at least long enough for Cooper to get him out of all those clothes. As soon as the idea occurred to him he pushed Josh far enough away to get his hands between them, working open the buttons on the other boy's shirt and sliding his hands along smooth, hot skin.
He forgot all about the club and whether or not his family would have anything to say about the fact that he’d brought his boyfriend to a family event. Chances were most of them hadn’t even paid any attention to him, but he knew Nick took a lot of crap for Cooper so he wouldn’t have to hear it. He felt bad about that most of the time, but right now he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when he finally had Josh alone and halfway out of his clothes; the last thing he wanted to do was think about his family or the future or anything except the way he felt when they were alone together.
Before Josh he’d never spent a lot of time worrying about whether or not he’d ever find somebody he could feel this way about, but now that he had he couldn’t imagine losing it again. He’d spent the last nine months terrified that something was going to happen, that one of the guys in Josh’s school would decide to teach him a lesson that got a little too far out of hand. He knew stuff like that happened all the time, and even though Josh tried to pretend that he wasn’t worried about it Cooper could tell he was lying.
Josh wouldn’t tell him about the stuff that happened at school, especially after he found out about the phone call Cooper had made to his uncle. He couldn’t just sit back and do nothing while Josh got the shit pounded out of him, though. If he hadn’t done something the beatings would have gotten worse and eventually they would have done some damage that Josh couldn’t ignore. Maybe Cooper didn’t have to deal with that stuff because of his family name, but he knew how it worked.
He wished Josh would let him do more; he’d tried to pay for Josh’s plane ticket to Buffalo, but he’d known before he offered that Josh would never go for it. Not that he really minded that Josh was too proud to take advantage of Cooper’s money, because that just meant that Josh actually wanted him for him and not what Cooper could give him. He’d never been completely sure of anyone he’d ever gone out with before, and it was a weird feeling to be able to trust Josh.
It was even more terrifying than the thought of what could be happening to Josh in Indiana while Cooper wasn’t there to look out for him, but at the same time he kind of liked it. He liked the rush of knowing that Josh was as crazy about him as he was about Josh, and he really liked the fact that for the first time he didn’t have to worry about getting bored and looking for a way out of their relationship.
He’d never gone longer than a couple weeks with one guy, and he’d never thought he’d last months. They were closing in on a year now, and that alone should have been enough to make him run screaming in the other direction. He didn’t want to, though; he didn’t want out, in fact he wanted as much of Josh as he could get. He was actually looking forward to going to college with Josh, and the thought of living together was more than he could wrap his mind around.
He would have grinned at the thought of living with Josh, but his mouth was otherwise occupied in a kiss he could feel all the way down in his toes. And who would have ever thought he could spend so much time just kissing, but it was starting to become an addiction. They were still wearing most of their clothes and he didn’t even mind the fact that the frenzied pace they’d set on the way into the house had slowed into languid and almost torturous. Josh’s hands were moving on him over his shirt, tracing the lines of Cooper’s muscles so lovingly that he wanted to cry just from that single touch.
Bursting into tears while Josh was kissing him probably wasn’t such a good idea, though, so he reined in his emotions and shifted enough to pull his mouth away from the other boy’s. “I remembered what I was going to tell you at the club,” he said, grinning at the confusion marring Josh’s features. He reached up and ran a hand through soft, dark hair, waiting until the inevitable moment when Josh’s brain caught up with him.
When it finally did Josh’s expression shifted from confused to nervous, but he took a deep breath and did his best to look like he didn’t want to get up and make a run for it. “What?”
“It’s about college.”
He knew he shouldn’t torture the other boy, but it was hard not to grin at the frustration making Josh’s forehead furrow. Besides, he wasn’t exactly sure of Josh’s reaction to the news; he wanted to believe that he'd be happy, but it was possible that he’d be mad at Cooper for waiting so long to tell him. Either that or he wouldn’t like the idea of living together, and even though they technically didn’t have to share a dorm room, Cooper wasn’t looking forward to pretending he was okay with that kind of rejection.
“What about it?”
“My uncle talked my dad into letting me go,” Cooper answered, his fingers tracing patterns in the skin at the back of Josh’s neck in an effort to distract himself from the nervous tension making his stomach flutter.
“That’s great, Coop,” Josh said, but when he looked at Cooper again his smile faded. “Isn’t it? You don’t look that happy.”
“I’m happy,” Cooper answered, “at least I will be if everything works out the way I hope it’s going to.”
“You lost me again.” Josh frowned and shook his head, shifting so he was settled a little more comfortably against Cooper. “I thought you wanted to go to college.”
“I do. Anything that gets me out of here, right?”
“Wait, so you’re going away to college?” Josh asked, confusion creeping back into his expression along with something else that Cooper couldn’t quite put his finger on. Before he could figure it out Josh pulled out of his grip and sat up, leaving Cooper feeling cold and a lot less secure about how the conversation was going to turn out. “How long have you known this?”
“I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure.” He was starting to think he should have broken the news to Josh earlier, because this was all coming out wrong and every word out of his mouth made Josh pull a little further away from him. That definitely wasn’t a good sign, but he hadn’t even told Josh the whole story yet and it wasn’t like he could just take it all back and pretend he hadn’t said anything. Josh would find out when he showed up at school, anyway, and there was no way Cooper was giving up his only shot to get out of his father’s house. “It took my uncle awhile to work on my dad, and then he had to pull some strings to get us in after the deadline.”
Josh took a deep breath and set his jaw in that firm line that let Cooper know he was starting to get nervous. Nervous was better than mad, though; nervous Cooper could work with, maybe even use to his advantage. He wasn't sure yet why Josh would be worried about him going to college, but as long as he wasn't mad at Cooper for waiting to tell him they could still work it out. "Cooper, would you just tell me already? You're freaking me out here."
"Yeah, Josh." He stifled a grin and reached out to run his fingers over the other boy's jaw, swallowing a relieved sigh when Josh didn't flinch away from him. "I didn't want to get your hopes up in case it didn't work out, but maybe I should've asked you if you'd mind. The thing is, Nick's dad knows somebody on the board at Daleman."
"Daleman?" Josh repeated, rolling the word around on his tongue as though he was trying to remember where he'd heard it before. Slowly realization sank in, and Cooper's heart skipped a beat when his face lit up. "So you…I mean you're gonna…to Daleman? Daleman College. In Massachusetts."
"Yeah," Cooper answered, finally giving in to the grin that was tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Nick too. We figured if you wanted you could just switch rooms with him. I mean if you want to share a room."
"Are you kidding? God, Coop…I can't…you're really going to Daleman. This isn't some kind of joke?"
"Josh, I wouldn't joke around about something like this," Cooper said, pushing himself up on his knees to straddle Josh's lap. Once they were as close together as possible he gripped Josh's waist and leaned forward, pressing their lips together for a soft kiss before he pulled away to meet Josh's gaze. "You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I just…I can't believe it. How'd your uncle pull it off?"
"I told you, he knows a guy." Cooper leaned forward and pressed his mouth to the side of Josh's neck, his tongue darting out to tease the spot just below Josh's ear that always made him squirm. He grinned when Josh shifted restlessly and let out an involuntary moan, opening his mouth to suck hard on the spot where his tongue had been.
Josh murmured something that probably wasn't English, but it didn't matter because his fingers tightened in Cooper's hair and it was obvious from the way his hips were moving that he was enjoying himself. When Cooper was satisfied that the mark would last awhile he pulled back again, tracing the fresh bruise with his fingertips. "In a month we can do this whenever we want."
It wasn't the first time he'd thought about it, but it was the first time since he started working on a plan to go to Daleman that any of it had seemed real. Suddenly he could imagine waking up next to Josh every day, studying together and spending every night tangled up together in bed. It was more terrifying and more exciting than anything he ever could have imagined, and he could hardly wait for the day they'd finally move into their room together.
Right now, though, they were alone in his bed, and there was no chance of being interrupted any time soon. It was almost like they were getting a sneak preview of what the rest of their lives were going to be like, and Cooper couldn't wait to get started on living them. He shifted experimentally, grinning again when Josh thrust up to meet him. Their eyes locked and Cooper saw the mixture of lust and affection in Josh's eyes, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of the other boy open and expectant and totally trusting.
He leaned forward, pressing their lips together for a kiss that started out gentle but quickly melted into something urgent. This was exactly the kind of reaction he'd been hoping for from Josh, the one he wouldn't let himself expect because it would hurt too much if the other boy turned out not to want him as much as Cooper thought he did. And he'd known better, but it was still so hard to trust that someone would want him the way Josh did. Love was something that had never even crossed his mind until that day in the city when Josh first stumbled into his life. Cooper had never seen anyone looking so scared and lost and unintentionally sexy in his entire life, and not a single thing about Josh had turned out to be a disappointment.
It wasn't that Josh was perfect - their relationship was far from it, although it was starting to look better and better - but he was exactly what Cooper had always hoped he'd find, and that made it easy to overlook the things that weren't exactly the way they'd been in Cooper's imagination. He knew there were things about him that drove people crazy, but Josh was the only person besides Nick that seemed to like even the annoying parts of him. He put up with them, anyway, and that was a lot more than Cooper could say for almost his entire family.
So in a way Josh was his family, and even though they hadn't said anything like that out loud yet, Cooper had a feeling Josh would feel the same way. He hadn't exactly gotten the best deal family-wise either; he had his mom, yeah, but it was pretty much just the two of them. So they had each other now, and Cooper was planning to hang onto that forever, if possible. He knew a good thing when he saw it, after all, and he wasn't about to let Josh go without a fight.
Before he noticed that they'd moved Josh was flat on his back, trapped underneath him this time and sliding a knee between Cooper's legs. The friction felt so good that Cooper was tempted to give in to it, but he knew it could feel even better if he just got them out of their clothes. He started with Josh's pants, expert fingers making short work of buttons and zippers until finally Josh was completely naked and stretched out under a still mostly clothed Cooper. And he had to admit that he kind of liked that look on Josh, especially when his hips were still moving in an involuntary little rhythm as he sought the friction that had been there just a few moments ago.
Josh's skin was flushed all the way from his cheeks down to his ankles, warm against Cooper's palms when he flattened them against the other boy's chest. It made him think of a story he'd heard once on some cable show about people that spontaneously burst into flames, and he wondered if maybe he shouldn't be worried about the fact that Josh's skin was burning up. The heat emanating from his groin was even more intense, though, and when Cooper closed his fist around the base of Josh's cock the other boy let out a hiss that sounded almost painful.
He forgot about his own aching need, pushed aside the insistent cry in the back of his mind telling him to reach out and take right now, no matter what was going on around him. The second he heard Josh's strangled hiss he forgot what he wanted, every cell in his body focused on making Josh feel as good as possible. He slid a little further down the other boy's legs, his hand moving slowly up and down Josh's length as he shifted. Josh thrust up into his grip with as much force as he could considering Cooper's thighs were holding him against the mattress, his body shaking with the need for release.
And it had to be the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen; Josh wide-eyed and panting, his face red and his whole body quivering in anticipation of that one final touch that would bring him over the edge. Tearing his gaze away from the sight of Josh writhing and murmuring incoherently beneath him was one of the hardest things Cooper had ever done, but the scent of Josh's need was too much and finally he leaned over and took the other boy in his mouth.
The bitter, salty flavor of pre-come assaulted his senses, making his head spin and encouraging him to move faster, to take as much of Josh's cock into his mouth as he could. And even then he couldn't stop thinking about all the time they had ahead of them, all the mornings he'd wake up next to Josh and know that he had the rest of his life to do everything he could to make Josh happy.
It hardly took any time at all before Josh was panting a warning and letting go, wet, bitter heat hitting his tongue as Cooper swallowed around the other boy's length and slowly let Josh slip out of his mouth. It was over way too quickly, but that was okay because even when they fell asleep together in a sweaty, exhausted heap, Cooper knew that he'd be waking up right next to Josh again. There was nowhere else in the whole world he'd rather be, and if he had anything to say about it that was exactly where he'd be staying.
Josh's fingers were in his hair again, stroking lazily as his chest heaved with the effort of trying to catch his breath. And it felt so nice just to have Josh touching him that Cooper stretched out in the cradle of the other boy's legs, pressing his cool cheek to the warmth of Josh's stomach and listening to the sound of his breathing slowly evening out. It didn't really matter that he hadn't come yet, because they still had the rest of the night and the next day, and however many days until Josh had to go home. The separation would still be too long and he'd worry the entire time Josh was back in Sandborn that something was going to happen to bring everything crashing down around them, but as long as he could live through the few weeks between the time Josh left Buffalo and the time they got to school it would all work out.
"Josh," he breathed, smiling against the other boy's stomach when he got a drowsy 'hmm' in reply. "How come you wouldn't tell me what was happened at school?"
He knew Josh understood what he was asking; it wasn't just the threats and the whispers, those were a part of Cooper's life when he was younger and he remembered how it felt to know that people hated you for something you couldn't control. Josh wouldn't talk about any of it, though, not the things his teachers said to him or what his mom had to put up with at work. It was almost as though he was embarrassed for Cooper to know what everyone at home thought of him.
"What's the point?" Josh finally answered, his voice barely a whisper but far more alert than it had been a few moments ago. "It's not like you could have done anything."
"Yeah, but didn't you ever want to talk about it?" Cooper asked, watching his fingers as he flexed them against Josh's side. "I know what it's like for people to look at you like you're a freak, Josh."
He heard the heavy sigh escape the other boy's throat, but he didn't look up. He didn't want to see the pain in Josh's features; he could sense it without looking, and he had a feeling it would be easier for Josh to talk about it if he didn't have to worry about facing Cooper. "It just didn't seem important. I mean when I talked to you I wanted to forget all that stuff, not spend all our time telling you that somebody spray painted 'fag' on my locker for the third time that week."
"Three times in one week?"
"Yeah. They finally stopped washing it off because they knew as soon as they did it would just happen all over again."
Cooper shifted enough to brush his lips against the taut skin stretched across Josh's stomach, willing away the barely disguised hurt he could hear in the other boy's voice. Josh was right; there was nothing he could have done, but he still felt responsible for the fact that Josh had gone through any of it. "If I hadn't showed up at your door without even warning you…"
"Cooper, don't, okay?" The hand that had been stroking lazily through his hair stopped, and Cooper looked up long enough to register the determined expression on Josh's face. He pushed himself up enough to crawl back over the other boy, stretching out next to Josh and sliding an arm around his waist. "I'm not sorry any of it happened. It was worth a few bruises from getting shoved around a little when the teachers weren't looking. You're worth all of it."
Cooper wasn't sure why Josh thought he was worth anything, but he wasn't going to try to talk him out of it. As long as Josh wanted to think he was worth fighting for Cooper was willing to take it, because he knew he'd never find anybody else that thought as much of him as Josh did. Love was turning out to be a really confusing thing, but he wouldn't trade a second of it.
~
Josh woke to the sound of muffled voices, panic setting in until he remembered where he was. As soon as it dawned on him that he was still in Cooper's bed he panicked all over again, sitting up and looking around for the source of the voices. The room was empty, but the door was open just enough for Josh to hear the pitch of Cooper's voice rise slightly.
His first instinct was to throw back the covers and go to Cooper's side, but he remembered himself just in time and stopped himself from doing anything stupid like trying to play the hero. It was Cooper's house, after all, and if somebody was there Josh was pretty sure he didn't want to know about it. Not until he didn't have a choice, anyway.
A few agonizing minutes later the door finally opened, and Cooper walked back into the room and kicked the door shut hard enough to rattle the hinges. Josh frowned as he watched the other boy's shoulders tense, but as soon as Cooper looked up at Josh his expression softened. "Hey," he said as he crossed back to the bed, "I thought you were still asleep."
"I was. What's the matter?" Josh asked as Cooper sat down next to him. He pushed himself up far enough to run a soothing hand down the center of Cooper's back, wincing at the tension he could feel just under the surface of the other boy's skin.
"My dad's back," Cooper answered. He let out a deep sigh and leaned into Josh's touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a long moment before he tensed and forced them open again. "He's already freaking out about some stupid business thing. He's having clients over tonight and he wants us out of here."
"He's kicking you out of your own house?"
Cooper shrugged as if to say it was no big deal, but it was obvious from his expression that he was at least a little hurt. "It's not like it's the first time. He says if I'm not gonna learn the business then the least I can do is stay out of his way. Besides, he doesn't want any of his clients to see you."
Josh wasn't sure whether he was angrier at Cooper's father for being a bigot or for just being an all-around bad parent; he didn't really care what Mr. Frederickson thought of him, but it was obvious it bothered Cooper. He'd never seen Cooper look quite so vulnerable, and even though it was nice to see that he wasn't invincible, he hated seeing Cooper hurt. "Coop, I'm sorry…"
"For what? God, Josh, are you kidding me? I want you here, I don't care what my old man thinks. Anyway, it's just for tonight. We'll go hang out over at Nick's house, Aunt Amelia will let us stay there."
Josh nodded because he wasn't sure he could talk without saying something about Cooper's father that he had no right to say. His own father had made it pretty clear that Josh didn't matter much one way or the other, but at least he hadn't hung around to rub it in Josh's face every chance he got. He'd never been happy that his father had split the way he did, but seeing the way Cooper's father treated him made Josh wonder if it would have been worse if his father had stuck around.
"Do I have time to take a shower?" he asked, praying that Cooper's dad wasn't expecting them to clear out right away. He was still sticky from the night before, and the last thing he felt like doing was meeting new people when he smelled like stale sex.
"Yeah, sure," Cooper answered, his normal grin switching right back on at the mention of the shower. "He already left for the office, he won't be back for hours. Besides, I could use a shower too."
Josh returned Cooper's grin and followed him out of the bed, crossing to the bathroom and reaching for his toothbrush while Cooper started the shower. He could feel the other boy's eyes on him while he brushed his teeth, but he did his best to ignore the self-conscious feeling of being naked and on display. He still wasn't used to Cooper's open admiration of the way he looked, and he wasn't sure he'd ever really get used to it. They were going to have plenty of time for him to try, though, and as soon as it sank in that Cooper was really going to Daleman Josh was sure he'd be looking forward to it.
He waited until Cooper slipped off his sweatpants and stepped into the shower before he emptied his bladder, then he took a deep breath and climbed into the shower after the other boy. Cooper didn't say anything when Josh stepped under the warm stream of water, but his hands landed on Josh's chest as Josh leaned down for a kiss. They'd learned a couple days ago that the supply of hot water in the Frederickson house was seemingly endless; it lasted longer than forty-five minutes, anyway, which was their current record for showering together. Josh had a feeling they'd push their own record today, but he was more than willing to give Cooper whatever he needed, even if it meant they ended up hopelessly wrinkled and standing in a cold shower together.
Cooper's hands roamed more freely over his skin as Josh parted his lips to deepen the kiss, trying to convey with a kiss what he couldn't put into words. He wanted Cooper to know that no matter what his parents did, Josh was going to be there for him. He wanted to say a thousand other corny things like that, but there was no way he could get any of them out without laughing or crying or just making a fool of himself.
In the end he settled for sliding his arms around Cooper's waist to pull him closer, telling himself that Cooper already knew that he could count on Josh. He had to, especially after everything they'd been through in the past nine months. They'd both sacrificed a lot to stay together, and they both knew that it was going to be a lot of work to keep things from falling apart. Hard work was the one thing Josh had never been afraid of, though, and he knew how much Cooper loved him. It would all be worth it as long as Cooper kept on loving him, and Josh wanted to believe that the fact that Cooper had enrolled at Daleman meant they could get through anything.
Fandom: Dead Man On Campus
Pairing: Josh/Cooper
Rating: NC17
Summary: AU. Josh goes to visit Cooper in Buffalo and learns a lot more than he bargained for about how Cooper grew up. Part five of the Senior Year series.
Cooper didn't remember the drive back to his house; he didn't remember letting them in the front door, or the walk upstairs to his room. He had no idea when exactly Josh had gotten his jacket off or where it landed, but he didn't really care about any of that. All that mattered was the way Josh was moving against him, his hands in Cooper's hair and his mouth working its way across Cooper's jaw.
And he knew there was something they were supposed to be talking about; something he'd meant to tell Josh back at the club, but he couldn't focus long enough to remember what it was. It didn't seem to matter to Josh, anyway, so maybe it could wait at least long enough for Cooper to get him out of all those clothes. As soon as the idea occurred to him he pushed Josh far enough away to get his hands between them, working open the buttons on the other boy's shirt and sliding his hands along smooth, hot skin.
He forgot all about the club and whether or not his family would have anything to say about the fact that he’d brought his boyfriend to a family event. Chances were most of them hadn’t even paid any attention to him, but he knew Nick took a lot of crap for Cooper so he wouldn’t have to hear it. He felt bad about that most of the time, but right now he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when he finally had Josh alone and halfway out of his clothes; the last thing he wanted to do was think about his family or the future or anything except the way he felt when they were alone together.
Before Josh he’d never spent a lot of time worrying about whether or not he’d ever find somebody he could feel this way about, but now that he had he couldn’t imagine losing it again. He’d spent the last nine months terrified that something was going to happen, that one of the guys in Josh’s school would decide to teach him a lesson that got a little too far out of hand. He knew stuff like that happened all the time, and even though Josh tried to pretend that he wasn’t worried about it Cooper could tell he was lying.
Josh wouldn’t tell him about the stuff that happened at school, especially after he found out about the phone call Cooper had made to his uncle. He couldn’t just sit back and do nothing while Josh got the shit pounded out of him, though. If he hadn’t done something the beatings would have gotten worse and eventually they would have done some damage that Josh couldn’t ignore. Maybe Cooper didn’t have to deal with that stuff because of his family name, but he knew how it worked.
He wished Josh would let him do more; he’d tried to pay for Josh’s plane ticket to Buffalo, but he’d known before he offered that Josh would never go for it. Not that he really minded that Josh was too proud to take advantage of Cooper’s money, because that just meant that Josh actually wanted him for him and not what Cooper could give him. He’d never been completely sure of anyone he’d ever gone out with before, and it was a weird feeling to be able to trust Josh.
It was even more terrifying than the thought of what could be happening to Josh in Indiana while Cooper wasn’t there to look out for him, but at the same time he kind of liked it. He liked the rush of knowing that Josh was as crazy about him as he was about Josh, and he really liked the fact that for the first time he didn’t have to worry about getting bored and looking for a way out of their relationship.
He’d never gone longer than a couple weeks with one guy, and he’d never thought he’d last months. They were closing in on a year now, and that alone should have been enough to make him run screaming in the other direction. He didn’t want to, though; he didn’t want out, in fact he wanted as much of Josh as he could get. He was actually looking forward to going to college with Josh, and the thought of living together was more than he could wrap his mind around.
He would have grinned at the thought of living with Josh, but his mouth was otherwise occupied in a kiss he could feel all the way down in his toes. And who would have ever thought he could spend so much time just kissing, but it was starting to become an addiction. They were still wearing most of their clothes and he didn’t even mind the fact that the frenzied pace they’d set on the way into the house had slowed into languid and almost torturous. Josh’s hands were moving on him over his shirt, tracing the lines of Cooper’s muscles so lovingly that he wanted to cry just from that single touch.
Bursting into tears while Josh was kissing him probably wasn’t such a good idea, though, so he reined in his emotions and shifted enough to pull his mouth away from the other boy’s. “I remembered what I was going to tell you at the club,” he said, grinning at the confusion marring Josh’s features. He reached up and ran a hand through soft, dark hair, waiting until the inevitable moment when Josh’s brain caught up with him.
When it finally did Josh’s expression shifted from confused to nervous, but he took a deep breath and did his best to look like he didn’t want to get up and make a run for it. “What?”
“It’s about college.”
He knew he shouldn’t torture the other boy, but it was hard not to grin at the frustration making Josh’s forehead furrow. Besides, he wasn’t exactly sure of Josh’s reaction to the news; he wanted to believe that he'd be happy, but it was possible that he’d be mad at Cooper for waiting so long to tell him. Either that or he wouldn’t like the idea of living together, and even though they technically didn’t have to share a dorm room, Cooper wasn’t looking forward to pretending he was okay with that kind of rejection.
“What about it?”
“My uncle talked my dad into letting me go,” Cooper answered, his fingers tracing patterns in the skin at the back of Josh’s neck in an effort to distract himself from the nervous tension making his stomach flutter.
“That’s great, Coop,” Josh said, but when he looked at Cooper again his smile faded. “Isn’t it? You don’t look that happy.”
“I’m happy,” Cooper answered, “at least I will be if everything works out the way I hope it’s going to.”
“You lost me again.” Josh frowned and shook his head, shifting so he was settled a little more comfortably against Cooper. “I thought you wanted to go to college.”
“I do. Anything that gets me out of here, right?”
“Wait, so you’re going away to college?” Josh asked, confusion creeping back into his expression along with something else that Cooper couldn’t quite put his finger on. Before he could figure it out Josh pulled out of his grip and sat up, leaving Cooper feeling cold and a lot less secure about how the conversation was going to turn out. “How long have you known this?”
“I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure.” He was starting to think he should have broken the news to Josh earlier, because this was all coming out wrong and every word out of his mouth made Josh pull a little further away from him. That definitely wasn’t a good sign, but he hadn’t even told Josh the whole story yet and it wasn’t like he could just take it all back and pretend he hadn’t said anything. Josh would find out when he showed up at school, anyway, and there was no way Cooper was giving up his only shot to get out of his father’s house. “It took my uncle awhile to work on my dad, and then he had to pull some strings to get us in after the deadline.”
Josh took a deep breath and set his jaw in that firm line that let Cooper know he was starting to get nervous. Nervous was better than mad, though; nervous Cooper could work with, maybe even use to his advantage. He wasn't sure yet why Josh would be worried about him going to college, but as long as he wasn't mad at Cooper for waiting to tell him they could still work it out. "Cooper, would you just tell me already? You're freaking me out here."
"Yeah, Josh." He stifled a grin and reached out to run his fingers over the other boy's jaw, swallowing a relieved sigh when Josh didn't flinch away from him. "I didn't want to get your hopes up in case it didn't work out, but maybe I should've asked you if you'd mind. The thing is, Nick's dad knows somebody on the board at Daleman."
"Daleman?" Josh repeated, rolling the word around on his tongue as though he was trying to remember where he'd heard it before. Slowly realization sank in, and Cooper's heart skipped a beat when his face lit up. "So you…I mean you're gonna…to Daleman? Daleman College. In Massachusetts."
"Yeah," Cooper answered, finally giving in to the grin that was tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Nick too. We figured if you wanted you could just switch rooms with him. I mean if you want to share a room."
"Are you kidding? God, Coop…I can't…you're really going to Daleman. This isn't some kind of joke?"
"Josh, I wouldn't joke around about something like this," Cooper said, pushing himself up on his knees to straddle Josh's lap. Once they were as close together as possible he gripped Josh's waist and leaned forward, pressing their lips together for a soft kiss before he pulled away to meet Josh's gaze. "You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I just…I can't believe it. How'd your uncle pull it off?"
"I told you, he knows a guy." Cooper leaned forward and pressed his mouth to the side of Josh's neck, his tongue darting out to tease the spot just below Josh's ear that always made him squirm. He grinned when Josh shifted restlessly and let out an involuntary moan, opening his mouth to suck hard on the spot where his tongue had been.
Josh murmured something that probably wasn't English, but it didn't matter because his fingers tightened in Cooper's hair and it was obvious from the way his hips were moving that he was enjoying himself. When Cooper was satisfied that the mark would last awhile he pulled back again, tracing the fresh bruise with his fingertips. "In a month we can do this whenever we want."
It wasn't the first time he'd thought about it, but it was the first time since he started working on a plan to go to Daleman that any of it had seemed real. Suddenly he could imagine waking up next to Josh every day, studying together and spending every night tangled up together in bed. It was more terrifying and more exciting than anything he ever could have imagined, and he could hardly wait for the day they'd finally move into their room together.
Right now, though, they were alone in his bed, and there was no chance of being interrupted any time soon. It was almost like they were getting a sneak preview of what the rest of their lives were going to be like, and Cooper couldn't wait to get started on living them. He shifted experimentally, grinning again when Josh thrust up to meet him. Their eyes locked and Cooper saw the mixture of lust and affection in Josh's eyes, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of the other boy open and expectant and totally trusting.
He leaned forward, pressing their lips together for a kiss that started out gentle but quickly melted into something urgent. This was exactly the kind of reaction he'd been hoping for from Josh, the one he wouldn't let himself expect because it would hurt too much if the other boy turned out not to want him as much as Cooper thought he did. And he'd known better, but it was still so hard to trust that someone would want him the way Josh did. Love was something that had never even crossed his mind until that day in the city when Josh first stumbled into his life. Cooper had never seen anyone looking so scared and lost and unintentionally sexy in his entire life, and not a single thing about Josh had turned out to be a disappointment.
It wasn't that Josh was perfect - their relationship was far from it, although it was starting to look better and better - but he was exactly what Cooper had always hoped he'd find, and that made it easy to overlook the things that weren't exactly the way they'd been in Cooper's imagination. He knew there were things about him that drove people crazy, but Josh was the only person besides Nick that seemed to like even the annoying parts of him. He put up with them, anyway, and that was a lot more than Cooper could say for almost his entire family.
So in a way Josh was his family, and even though they hadn't said anything like that out loud yet, Cooper had a feeling Josh would feel the same way. He hadn't exactly gotten the best deal family-wise either; he had his mom, yeah, but it was pretty much just the two of them. So they had each other now, and Cooper was planning to hang onto that forever, if possible. He knew a good thing when he saw it, after all, and he wasn't about to let Josh go without a fight.
Before he noticed that they'd moved Josh was flat on his back, trapped underneath him this time and sliding a knee between Cooper's legs. The friction felt so good that Cooper was tempted to give in to it, but he knew it could feel even better if he just got them out of their clothes. He started with Josh's pants, expert fingers making short work of buttons and zippers until finally Josh was completely naked and stretched out under a still mostly clothed Cooper. And he had to admit that he kind of liked that look on Josh, especially when his hips were still moving in an involuntary little rhythm as he sought the friction that had been there just a few moments ago.
Josh's skin was flushed all the way from his cheeks down to his ankles, warm against Cooper's palms when he flattened them against the other boy's chest. It made him think of a story he'd heard once on some cable show about people that spontaneously burst into flames, and he wondered if maybe he shouldn't be worried about the fact that Josh's skin was burning up. The heat emanating from his groin was even more intense, though, and when Cooper closed his fist around the base of Josh's cock the other boy let out a hiss that sounded almost painful.
He forgot about his own aching need, pushed aside the insistent cry in the back of his mind telling him to reach out and take right now, no matter what was going on around him. The second he heard Josh's strangled hiss he forgot what he wanted, every cell in his body focused on making Josh feel as good as possible. He slid a little further down the other boy's legs, his hand moving slowly up and down Josh's length as he shifted. Josh thrust up into his grip with as much force as he could considering Cooper's thighs were holding him against the mattress, his body shaking with the need for release.
And it had to be the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen; Josh wide-eyed and panting, his face red and his whole body quivering in anticipation of that one final touch that would bring him over the edge. Tearing his gaze away from the sight of Josh writhing and murmuring incoherently beneath him was one of the hardest things Cooper had ever done, but the scent of Josh's need was too much and finally he leaned over and took the other boy in his mouth.
The bitter, salty flavor of pre-come assaulted his senses, making his head spin and encouraging him to move faster, to take as much of Josh's cock into his mouth as he could. And even then he couldn't stop thinking about all the time they had ahead of them, all the mornings he'd wake up next to Josh and know that he had the rest of his life to do everything he could to make Josh happy.
It hardly took any time at all before Josh was panting a warning and letting go, wet, bitter heat hitting his tongue as Cooper swallowed around the other boy's length and slowly let Josh slip out of his mouth. It was over way too quickly, but that was okay because even when they fell asleep together in a sweaty, exhausted heap, Cooper knew that he'd be waking up right next to Josh again. There was nowhere else in the whole world he'd rather be, and if he had anything to say about it that was exactly where he'd be staying.
Josh's fingers were in his hair again, stroking lazily as his chest heaved with the effort of trying to catch his breath. And it felt so nice just to have Josh touching him that Cooper stretched out in the cradle of the other boy's legs, pressing his cool cheek to the warmth of Josh's stomach and listening to the sound of his breathing slowly evening out. It didn't really matter that he hadn't come yet, because they still had the rest of the night and the next day, and however many days until Josh had to go home. The separation would still be too long and he'd worry the entire time Josh was back in Sandborn that something was going to happen to bring everything crashing down around them, but as long as he could live through the few weeks between the time Josh left Buffalo and the time they got to school it would all work out.
"Josh," he breathed, smiling against the other boy's stomach when he got a drowsy 'hmm' in reply. "How come you wouldn't tell me what was happened at school?"
He knew Josh understood what he was asking; it wasn't just the threats and the whispers, those were a part of Cooper's life when he was younger and he remembered how it felt to know that people hated you for something you couldn't control. Josh wouldn't talk about any of it, though, not the things his teachers said to him or what his mom had to put up with at work. It was almost as though he was embarrassed for Cooper to know what everyone at home thought of him.
"What's the point?" Josh finally answered, his voice barely a whisper but far more alert than it had been a few moments ago. "It's not like you could have done anything."
"Yeah, but didn't you ever want to talk about it?" Cooper asked, watching his fingers as he flexed them against Josh's side. "I know what it's like for people to look at you like you're a freak, Josh."
He heard the heavy sigh escape the other boy's throat, but he didn't look up. He didn't want to see the pain in Josh's features; he could sense it without looking, and he had a feeling it would be easier for Josh to talk about it if he didn't have to worry about facing Cooper. "It just didn't seem important. I mean when I talked to you I wanted to forget all that stuff, not spend all our time telling you that somebody spray painted 'fag' on my locker for the third time that week."
"Three times in one week?"
"Yeah. They finally stopped washing it off because they knew as soon as they did it would just happen all over again."
Cooper shifted enough to brush his lips against the taut skin stretched across Josh's stomach, willing away the barely disguised hurt he could hear in the other boy's voice. Josh was right; there was nothing he could have done, but he still felt responsible for the fact that Josh had gone through any of it. "If I hadn't showed up at your door without even warning you…"
"Cooper, don't, okay?" The hand that had been stroking lazily through his hair stopped, and Cooper looked up long enough to register the determined expression on Josh's face. He pushed himself up enough to crawl back over the other boy, stretching out next to Josh and sliding an arm around his waist. "I'm not sorry any of it happened. It was worth a few bruises from getting shoved around a little when the teachers weren't looking. You're worth all of it."
Cooper wasn't sure why Josh thought he was worth anything, but he wasn't going to try to talk him out of it. As long as Josh wanted to think he was worth fighting for Cooper was willing to take it, because he knew he'd never find anybody else that thought as much of him as Josh did. Love was turning out to be a really confusing thing, but he wouldn't trade a second of it.
~
Josh woke to the sound of muffled voices, panic setting in until he remembered where he was. As soon as it dawned on him that he was still in Cooper's bed he panicked all over again, sitting up and looking around for the source of the voices. The room was empty, but the door was open just enough for Josh to hear the pitch of Cooper's voice rise slightly.
His first instinct was to throw back the covers and go to Cooper's side, but he remembered himself just in time and stopped himself from doing anything stupid like trying to play the hero. It was Cooper's house, after all, and if somebody was there Josh was pretty sure he didn't want to know about it. Not until he didn't have a choice, anyway.
A few agonizing minutes later the door finally opened, and Cooper walked back into the room and kicked the door shut hard enough to rattle the hinges. Josh frowned as he watched the other boy's shoulders tense, but as soon as Cooper looked up at Josh his expression softened. "Hey," he said as he crossed back to the bed, "I thought you were still asleep."
"I was. What's the matter?" Josh asked as Cooper sat down next to him. He pushed himself up far enough to run a soothing hand down the center of Cooper's back, wincing at the tension he could feel just under the surface of the other boy's skin.
"My dad's back," Cooper answered. He let out a deep sigh and leaned into Josh's touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a long moment before he tensed and forced them open again. "He's already freaking out about some stupid business thing. He's having clients over tonight and he wants us out of here."
"He's kicking you out of your own house?"
Cooper shrugged as if to say it was no big deal, but it was obvious from his expression that he was at least a little hurt. "It's not like it's the first time. He says if I'm not gonna learn the business then the least I can do is stay out of his way. Besides, he doesn't want any of his clients to see you."
Josh wasn't sure whether he was angrier at Cooper's father for being a bigot or for just being an all-around bad parent; he didn't really care what Mr. Frederickson thought of him, but it was obvious it bothered Cooper. He'd never seen Cooper look quite so vulnerable, and even though it was nice to see that he wasn't invincible, he hated seeing Cooper hurt. "Coop, I'm sorry…"
"For what? God, Josh, are you kidding me? I want you here, I don't care what my old man thinks. Anyway, it's just for tonight. We'll go hang out over at Nick's house, Aunt Amelia will let us stay there."
Josh nodded because he wasn't sure he could talk without saying something about Cooper's father that he had no right to say. His own father had made it pretty clear that Josh didn't matter much one way or the other, but at least he hadn't hung around to rub it in Josh's face every chance he got. He'd never been happy that his father had split the way he did, but seeing the way Cooper's father treated him made Josh wonder if it would have been worse if his father had stuck around.
"Do I have time to take a shower?" he asked, praying that Cooper's dad wasn't expecting them to clear out right away. He was still sticky from the night before, and the last thing he felt like doing was meeting new people when he smelled like stale sex.
"Yeah, sure," Cooper answered, his normal grin switching right back on at the mention of the shower. "He already left for the office, he won't be back for hours. Besides, I could use a shower too."
Josh returned Cooper's grin and followed him out of the bed, crossing to the bathroom and reaching for his toothbrush while Cooper started the shower. He could feel the other boy's eyes on him while he brushed his teeth, but he did his best to ignore the self-conscious feeling of being naked and on display. He still wasn't used to Cooper's open admiration of the way he looked, and he wasn't sure he'd ever really get used to it. They were going to have plenty of time for him to try, though, and as soon as it sank in that Cooper was really going to Daleman Josh was sure he'd be looking forward to it.
He waited until Cooper slipped off his sweatpants and stepped into the shower before he emptied his bladder, then he took a deep breath and climbed into the shower after the other boy. Cooper didn't say anything when Josh stepped under the warm stream of water, but his hands landed on Josh's chest as Josh leaned down for a kiss. They'd learned a couple days ago that the supply of hot water in the Frederickson house was seemingly endless; it lasted longer than forty-five minutes, anyway, which was their current record for showering together. Josh had a feeling they'd push their own record today, but he was more than willing to give Cooper whatever he needed, even if it meant they ended up hopelessly wrinkled and standing in a cold shower together.
Cooper's hands roamed more freely over his skin as Josh parted his lips to deepen the kiss, trying to convey with a kiss what he couldn't put into words. He wanted Cooper to know that no matter what his parents did, Josh was going to be there for him. He wanted to say a thousand other corny things like that, but there was no way he could get any of them out without laughing or crying or just making a fool of himself.
In the end he settled for sliding his arms around Cooper's waist to pull him closer, telling himself that Cooper already knew that he could count on Josh. He had to, especially after everything they'd been through in the past nine months. They'd both sacrificed a lot to stay together, and they both knew that it was going to be a lot of work to keep things from falling apart. Hard work was the one thing Josh had never been afraid of, though, and he knew how much Cooper loved him. It would all be worth it as long as Cooper kept on loving him, and Josh wanted to believe that the fact that Cooper had enrolled at Daleman meant they could get through anything.