I am done now
Sometimes I really have no idea what the point is. Excuse me for playing victim, but I feel like I spend most of my life not getting what I deserve or having my character and appearance assassinated. I feel like I am constantly defending myself or trying to explain myself. I feel like there are too many people who want to fill the position of ( Read more... )
Then you are not being yourself, and if you are not being yourself then these people don't have a true knowledge of you. Therefore one's whole life becomes warped and slanted trying to force pieces together that just don't naturally match. Your purpose is not to "please" anyone: You are always on tip-toes that way. It's exhausting apart from anything. Sure, one can be considerate and helpful and a nice person; but only within one's natural limits and that's not that same as being motivated to "please". One should relax and be and allow the world to settle around that shape, or else it can fuck off.
"I am almost ready to wipe the slate clean."
Again, that speaks so loudly of strong, strong attachments to things that should be relaxed and fluid. So you don't hear from a friend in a while? People get busy. It's no-one else's duty to sustain you and it doesn't necessarily mean they're an ass-hole. But if when you hear from them again you're brimming with resentment... well, that is going to be self defeating. Problem is, if you have social anxiety you will feel limited by the number of people you can interact with. This makes things very intense with those you have connected with, and that's never a positive situation to be in. One of my friends I have the most intimate connection with beyond anyone, but I barely see or hear from her more than once a year. But we're both busy and have distinct lives, so one just accepts that's how it is. There is absolutely no demand in either direction, right?
Reply
Leave a comment