didn't use my A.K.
it was a good day today. (obviously, you know, since i didn't use my A.K. and all!) i think i have really calmed down a lot, and work was even enjoyable. well, for the most part! it isn't really all that enjoyable to be at work at 6am, but what are you gonna do?
a few things i thought about on my walk home:
* cheer up emo kid. no seriously. i need to buck the fuck up camper! being depressed sucks, and so does being angry. i don't enjoy either all that much, but being depressed is wicked lame. i am over it, and i am going to do everything in my power to keep that beast at bay.
* my birthday is not a cause of anxiety and/or stress. it is a time of celebration. it is a time to get together with people i love and that love me. it is a time to rule the school and paint the town red. birthdays happen to everyone, everywhere, everyday of the year. (ok, it was dorky... but kind of funny right? no? dang!) i can't stop myself from getting older, so i should just get over this yearly freak out. i have done a lot with my life, and i don't need to fucking worry about it! besides, who's to say if i've done enough with it so far?!
* work sucks, but i don't need to get so angry or stressed out or whatever about it. for one thing, it's not my problem if the fucking place fails. (nor is it my fault!) a job is a job. it is a means to an end, not my essence for being. i can say no, it doesn't make me a bad person. also, i do not plan on being there forever... this is funding my moving away! i need to just let it roll off my back. leave all the bullshit behind when i walk out the door at the end of the day.
* speaking of work... i am taking baking and cooking back. work made me not want to do those things when i got home. that isn't fair. i really enjoy cooking and baking (especially for other people.) i shouldn't stop doing things i enjoy doing cos work makes me want to throw frying pans put the window...into someone's face!
i have decided to blog more too, both on this blog and on my food blog. remember when i first got back from berlin and couldn't seem to find a job, and i blogged ALL the time? well, i won't blog THAT much, but i do think when i blog it helps me to collect my thoughts. it helps me to formulate things into words, so i can try to deal with them better and stuff like that. and it gives me an opportunity to vent or complain or give thanks to whatever!
a few things i thought about on my walk home:
* cheer up emo kid. no seriously. i need to buck the fuck up camper! being depressed sucks, and so does being angry. i don't enjoy either all that much, but being depressed is wicked lame. i am over it, and i am going to do everything in my power to keep that beast at bay.
* my birthday is not a cause of anxiety and/or stress. it is a time of celebration. it is a time to get together with people i love and that love me. it is a time to rule the school and paint the town red. birthdays happen to everyone, everywhere, everyday of the year. (ok, it was dorky... but kind of funny right? no? dang!) i can't stop myself from getting older, so i should just get over this yearly freak out. i have done a lot with my life, and i don't need to fucking worry about it! besides, who's to say if i've done enough with it so far?!
* work sucks, but i don't need to get so angry or stressed out or whatever about it. for one thing, it's not my problem if the fucking place fails. (nor is it my fault!) a job is a job. it is a means to an end, not my essence for being. i can say no, it doesn't make me a bad person. also, i do not plan on being there forever... this is funding my moving away! i need to just let it roll off my back. leave all the bullshit behind when i walk out the door at the end of the day.
* speaking of work... i am taking baking and cooking back. work made me not want to do those things when i got home. that isn't fair. i really enjoy cooking and baking (especially for other people.) i shouldn't stop doing things i enjoy doing cos work makes me want to throw frying pans put the window...into someone's face!
i have decided to blog more too, both on this blog and on my food blog. remember when i first got back from berlin and couldn't seem to find a job, and i blogged ALL the time? well, i won't blog THAT much, but i do think when i blog it helps me to collect my thoughts. it helps me to formulate things into words, so i can try to deal with them better and stuff like that. and it gives me an opportunity to vent or complain or give thanks to whatever!