Melancholy--
*sigh* So I understand the LJ servers have finally moved to Russia, and now we're needing to agree to a new TOS just in order to get into our accounts. Given the general... atmosphere of Russia at this point in time, I'm finding myself very uncomfortable with this turn of events.
So... what are we all doing, then? Staying? Going? Not here to notice? -_-
A couple months back, I did something I never thought I'd do, and ported my LJ over to DW. (I haven't posted anything new there, though. It was for security reasons.) For ages now, I've been wanting to get back into the swing of things, pick up where I left off, and post here more often. Engage more often. I miss everyone, I really do. And you've seen my attempts, over and over again, to get back into it.
But I keep failing. Life gets in the way. Work is exhausting. Everything is busy. And then new things happen, and I want to tell everyone, but then the weight of it, of time and distance and the desire to actually say what's gone on comes crashing down around my shoulders, and I go silent again. (Also part of why I'm shitty at email/mail correspondence.)
I'm not sure how to get around this.
And I find myself, this evening, feeling a great sense of melancholy, partially because I am unsettled and uncomfortable with this new state for LJ, and partially because I feel like everyone has drifted regardless of whether I was here or not. I look at my Flist for the first time in far too long (I feel guilty when I look when I'm silent, you know?), and it's a wasteland. Did I lose all you guys? Did you disappear? I... guess I did, except I was here, in some small way, the whole time.
I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm not sure if there's anyone to say it to.
So... what are we all doing, then? Staying? Going? Not here to notice? -_-
A couple months back, I did something I never thought I'd do, and ported my LJ over to DW. (I haven't posted anything new there, though. It was for security reasons.) For ages now, I've been wanting to get back into the swing of things, pick up where I left off, and post here more often. Engage more often. I miss everyone, I really do. And you've seen my attempts, over and over again, to get back into it.
But I keep failing. Life gets in the way. Work is exhausting. Everything is busy. And then new things happen, and I want to tell everyone, but then the weight of it, of time and distance and the desire to actually say what's gone on comes crashing down around my shoulders, and I go silent again. (Also part of why I'm shitty at email/mail correspondence.)
I'm not sure how to get around this.
And I find myself, this evening, feeling a great sense of melancholy, partially because I am unsettled and uncomfortable with this new state for LJ, and partially because I feel like everyone has drifted regardless of whether I was here or not. I look at my Flist for the first time in far too long (I feel guilty when I look when I'm silent, you know?), and it's a wasteland. Did I lose all you guys? Did you disappear? I... guess I did, except I was here, in some small way, the whole time.
I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm not sure if there's anyone to say it to.