(no subject)
Story Or Series Title: All I Ever Wanted Was for you to go away!
Fandom: That one with the prophesy that no one listens to anymore. *sulks*
Culprit Author's Name: elijahsbaby1981
Full Name (plus titles if any): Hermione Granger and Sarah Alexis Granger-Potter. Called Lexi for some weird reason.
Full Species(es): Gilmore Girls!Harry doesn’t know about us!Sues
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hermione has brown/chestnut hair and Lexi has black hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Both have brown eyes.
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions (if any): Three extra-speshul Sues named Erin Hankins, Caprice( who had no last name), and Jamie Soltis, nephew of Malfoy.
Annoying Origin: Well, Lexi is supposedly Hermione and Harry’s daughter.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Hermione claims to be a canon character. I don’t believe her.
Annoying Special Abilities: To always come out unscathed. JUST FUCK UP WHY DON’T YOU?! *returns Harry’s Capslock of Rage™*
Other Annoying Traits: To just exist. Reading this dreck made me feel very sick. I wanted to hit the computer a lot.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
"Mommy!" Lexi called to her mom.
"What-y!" Hermione yelled back. -3 because Hermione would never be caught dead saying ‘What-y.’ Hermione lay on her bed in her room, staring at the ceiling. She could hear the wizard TV Oh-ho! So they have a Wizard TV, do they? When did they come out with those, I wonder. downstairs, and now she could hear her only daughter yelling for her.
"Come here! They're announcing the new seeker for Puddlemere United!" Lexi yelled. Hermione sighed and slid off the bed. She dragged her feet across the plush pink carpet and down the stairs. Yeah, okay. You call me when the real Hermione gets a plush pink carpet. -3
She got down to the living room and stood next to her twelve-year-old daughter who was sitting on the couch watching TV. Lexi looked up and smiled.
"Hey there mom! Guess what?" Her daughter said excitedly.
"What?"
"This new seeker, he's your age I hear!" She said as she laughed. What’s so funny about that? Hermione rolled her eyes. She and her daughter were like best friends. Hermione was only 29, and Lexi was 12. They were practically inseparable. I think the Suethor watched Gilmore Girls, don’t you?
Hermione felt that she needed to be with her daughter, so she sent her to a wizard day school. She knew how much being away from her mom pained her, so she didn't want to do that to herself. Sarah Alexis Granger didn't know her dad, and didn't even know who he was. She looked almost like an exact cross between her mom and dad. She had black hair, brown eyes, and a slim figure like Hermione. She wasn't like Hermione when she was growing up; she was more like Harry. Lexi was brave, and ambitious. Nothing could stop her even if it tried. Okay, sorting through this. First, do they even have wizard day schools? Second, it would be a wizarding day school. -3. Third, you changed subjects in the middle of the paragraph. -3. And -5 because I hate this thing already.
She looked at the TV to see someone announcing the new seeker.
"Say hello to the new Puddlemere seeker, Harry Potter!" The man said excitedly. Then they showed Harry. They showed the same boy she used to know, with the black hair and green eyes. Hermione knew that he was back three years ago. Ginny had sent her a letter telling her he was back, but that she didn't have to see him or tell him. And that's just what Hermione did. Ginny told her he was upset that she had gone "missing" and was still upset. She still had not told anyone where she was, and wasn't planning on it. He was upset and was still upset. Hello, hi. You have reached the Department of Redundancy Department. How may I help you, aid you, or lend a hand?
Hermione stared at the TV as it had just blown up or done something unnatural. She never took her eyes off of the TV and slowly reached for a chair and sat herself down. Lexi was so caught up in her excitement that she didn't even see her mom, who was about to pass out from shock. Please do, then we can stuff your body in a closet somewhere.
"Oh no! It's starting!" Lexi exclaimed as they got to their seats. The three became amazed with their view of the field. The crowd began to cheer as the teams flew onto the field. Then Harry came onto the field. The referee walked onto the field and I hate the field!
Hermione smiled as she looked in front of the hoops. There she saw Oliver Wood, pumped and ready for the game. She looked over the rest of the team. She scanned her eyes over the Chasers, the beaters, and the seeker. Her eyes finally rested on the seeker. As she heard the referee blow his whistle, she watched Harry up above the game, keeping a keen eye out for the snitch.
And here ladies and gentlemen, we see that the author has forgotten to press the enter bar again. Make note of that please. Moving on."MacDougal from PU has the Quaffle. Oh! Lanier from the Cannons has stolen the Quaffle!" The mega phone boomed. Suddenly the crowd gasped. Harry Potter and the seeker from the Chudley Cannons were racing to catch the golden snitch.
Hermione squinted to see of she could see who the other seeker was. Wait, was that red hair? It couldn't be...Ron? No, it's not possible. Wait, was that a tense change? No, it’s not possible. -2
Then she felt a poke in her shoulder. She waved it off, but it kept poking. She let out and exasperated sigh, and turned. Lexi and Erin were sitting there, wide eyes, pointing towards the two seekers. Yes, we see them. Good job ladies. Hermione looked up again to see the two athletes flying towards the stand with incredible speed. But it wasn't just any part in the stands. They were flying right for her. Oh my goodness! What are we going to do?! Sit back and watch. *snickers* Both were side-by-side with one arm reached out, and a determined face plastered on their faces.
Her eyes widened when she saw who was headed for her. Her childhood best friends, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, were flying towards her head in a professional quidditch Capital Q my friends! -3 game.
She pressed her eyes shut as she heard a fluttering by her ear and held her breath. She knew what was coming. Then she felt herself and a few other people being knocked over in the stands. She could hardly breath Breathe. -5 as the wind was knocked out of her. Then she heard cheers all around her before she passed out...…Why did she pass out…? -10
Hermione looked around the infirmary. The walls were pure white with a few pictures hanging. Some were of nurses, probably from the 1700s. Some were of knights, and a few were of famous quidditch Capital Q, sweetheart. -3 players.
She leaned back on her pale blue pillow and stared at the ceiling. Her long chestnut hair flowed all over the pillow It was liquid. Ooh, that’s fun to think about. I hope it’s cold outside and she gets sick. as she searched for shapes in the ceiling.
Harry and Ron had gone out of the infirmary to find Lexi and Erin. The nurse had insisted that she stay for a few more hours to make sure that she didn't have a concussion. Why would she have a concussion? They didn’t hit her head, they just knocked her backwards. -10
It turned out that Harry had caught the snitch first. Both her friends were so upset that they plowed into her like that, that they pulled some strings and gave her the snitch as a gift. Um. Okay. -10
Hermione looked over to the door and stared its boring pattern. It really didn't even have a pattern. I It. -5 was just plain wood painted white. The floor was boring too. The plain white tile made you dizzy when you looked at it for a while. if it as plain and white, why would it make you dizzy? I’m getting fed up. -10 All the beds were the same. They had pale blue pillows and again, white bed covers. OMGWTF COLOR!!!!!1!1
The doors swung open and Harry waltzed in with a big smile plastered on his face. He still had his blue and gold uniform on from the game, and his black hair was messed up like usual.
"Hermione, your daughter is so wonderful! Erin had to go home so Ron walked her to the portkey station. Anyway, I was talking with your daughter, and she's so interesting! But I have a question." Harry told her excitedly. Her walked up to her bed and pulled up a white chair. He turned it around so he was sitting backwards on it and leaned forward. Hermione half grinned. -10 because I feel like it.
"What is it?" She asked. She slowly shifted so she was up on her elbows. As she did this, Harry discreetly admired her. He let his eyes roam over her legs, her stomach, her chest, and then her face. He didn't want to seem like a freak, but he couldn't help it. Why would he seem like a freak? He’s checking out his best friend. *voice rises into slightly hysterical pitch* That’s not freakish at all. He finally snapped out of his reverie and took a deep breath.
"Well, I don't mean to intrude on your life, but who is Lexi's father?" He asked. Hermione's heart dropped. She chewed the inside of her lip. What will she do now? Anyone want popcorn? It should be a nice show.
Hermione took a deep breath to answer, but before she could, the doors swung open again. Both Hermione and Harry looked over to the doors to see Ron and Lexi standing there. Ron looked tired and Lexi looked happy and excited.
Lexi looked around and involuntarily shivered. She wasn't cold or anything; it was just all the white in the room. Hermione gave her a questioning look and raised an eyebrow (A/n: I can't do that! I always try and I can't do it! I usually end up raising both...) Do we care? -10 because you’re NOT supposed to put author’s notes randomly into the story. Did J.K. Rowling ever do that? Hmm? I didn’t think so!
"Never mind. Mom, I'm going to go outside. This place gives me the creeps." She said as she turned around and walked out of the door. Hermione nodded as she tuned back to Harry.
"Well? Who is it?" He asked. He pointedly looked at her as she shifted her eyes to the ground. He walked forwards and sat on the edge of her bed. He reached his hand out and lifted her chin so she looked at him. Don’t you touch her. She’ll infect you too.
"Well...uh...I can't tell you that." She said quietly. She pulled her head away from him and got up. She padded across the white tile floor to the window. She knew this day would come, but she never thought it would be this soon. Harry sighed.
"Why not?" He asked as he turned around so he could face her, even though her back was facing him. Well then he wouldn’t really be facing her would he?
"Because." Hermione never gives one-word answers.
"Because is not an answer" Period! -3, though I’ll give him one point for not letting her get away with one word.
"It is in my vocabulary." She told him. She was starting to get agitated. She was about to say that it was none of his business, but actually, it was.
"Come on Herm! I mean, unless you don't know..." He answered. He was going to get up, but he didn't want her to walk out. Herm. *dies* -10 because I HATE that name! And -5 for suggesting that Hermione doesn’t know who the father is.
"I know who it is Harry! How could you think that?" She yelled. She had whipped around and stared at his like he was a lunatic. At his what? Dick? Head? Quidditch Toned Muscles™? -10
"I don't know what I think! You said you couldn't tell me, so what was I supposed to think!" He started raising his voice. He never wanted to start yelling, but it came unexpectedly.
"I don't know either! One day I was just fine being away from everybody, and the
next you What’s with the extra space a the end of the line? Confused! -3 just pop back into my life and make everything confusing!" She yelled. She began to pace around the room and see how many tiles she could step on in less than a minute.
"How did I make things confusing? It's not like Im her father!" I’m. -5He yelled even louder. Before he could even take a breath, Hermione replied.
"But that's just the thing! You are!" She yelled out. Her eyes widened and she gasped. Before Harry could even react she had run out of the infirmary...What is it with the dots? -5
And then Lexi gets kidnapped by Draco Malfoy. Harry and Ron run out to get her back and Ron kills Voldemort! Where did that come from?! Oh, but things don’t get better just yet! Oh and Lexi has a boyfriend. I bet you’ll never guess who he is!
Caprice and Hermione sat with their heads in their hands as Harry paced the room. All three of their heads snapped up towards the door as they heard yelling outside. Can I snap your necks?
“I demand you let me see my nephew right now! You can not restrict me! I’m family! Get out of my way you bastards!” All three of them heard a man yelling outside. The yelling got closer and closer to their door and they all stood up. Caprice gasped as the door handle shook and the door flew open.
A man ran in with two guards coming after him. His feet skidded on the tiled floor as he ran in. He shut the door in the guard’s faces and quickly locked it with many spells and charms. You only need one spell/charm to lock a door, ass hole. And they have wands too, so even if you did put more than one on, they could get through. -5 He sighed and turned around slowly to see three people staring with wide eyes at him. Hermione backed up a few steps in wonder and Harry stood there with him mouth hanging open.
“Malfoy!?” Double yew tee eff, mate?
* * *
(I was considering on stopping it here but I decided not to because then it would be too short.) Oh please, don’t go on! -10
“Stop staring Potter, your mouth might stay that way.” He sneered. There was Draco Malfoy, in the flesh. Blonde hair slicked back, broad shoulders, and firm jaw. He smirked as he turned towards Hermione. Thank you for the update on his appearance. -5
“I never cease to amaze you, do I, Mudblood?” He sneered once again. Hermione glared at him in anger. How else would she glare at him?
“What do you want Malfoy?” Harry asked, moving slightly to block his daughter from view. Draco raised an eyebrow at him.
“Why, I came to see my nephew, James. Do you have a problem with that Potty?” All three stared at him in wonder.
“He- He’s your nephew?” Hermione asked.
“No, I just barged in here to see someone I don’t know and come to see you nitwits on purpose. Oh yeah.” Makes no sense. May-day, man down! -5He said, rolling his eyes. He walked quietly over to Jamie and sat down on the bed. They were still looking at him when he turned around to glare. He got up and flung the curtain around, startling the three. OMFG! What was that!
revised_prophesy>
Neville jumped as he saw Harry Potter and Hermione Granger appear out of his fireplace. Apparently he was having a quiet evening with his wife, Ginny. Hermione looked around to see a log cabin style living room with a hardwood floor and a bear skin rug before the fireplace. I can’t see Neville with a bear skin rug. -3
Hermione had dreaded seeing Neville and Ginny, for she didn’t know if Neville knew she was back or how Ginny would react. If you remember, Ginny was the only one she kept in contact with while she was ‘missing’. How could we forget?
The two were welcomed my two shocked faces. Hermione waved slightly to the married couple, as they sat on the couch, still obviously stunned.
“Hermione?” Neville cried in amazement. She nodded and smiled as he jumped up and attacked her with a large hug. Neville wouldn’t attack anyone either. And he’s definitely not large. -5
“Hermione! I haven’t seen you in so long!” Ginny cried, pulling her overjoyed husband off the newcomers. Hermione grinned and hugged her best friend. She saw Neville also giving Harry a large hug and laughed. Too many hugs. I can’t stand it.
“How come you’re here? Is everything ok? Or are you just here for a visit?” Ginny inquired, offering the two a seat.
“Well, actually, we need to talk to you about something. Mostly Neville, actually.” Harry began. Ginny sat down with a concerned look on her face and turned to her husband. Neville’s eyes widened a bit and he sat up.
“I don’t know if you heard, but Voldemort was supposedly destroyed.” Both Ginny and Neville cringed; Ginny more than Neville, for she had had more experience with the Dark Lord. And she was strong enough to get through it. Ginny would not cringe. -3 Finally they both nodded.
“Well, we think that we were mistaken. You see, we thought that Ron had destroyed him, using the Avada Kadavra Try again, not going to kill anyone with that curse! -5 curse. Bu But. -5then when her- our daughter had a nightmare that he is using her to lead him to me, we think that he might not have destroyed him. That’s when I remembered The Prophesy.” Neville was still in shock that Harry had said “our daughter” meaning himself and Hermione, but now it seemed like he was going to pass out.
“The Prophesy? I forgot about that.” Neville said in monotone. Ginny was still thoroughly confused.
“What prophesy are we talking about here?” Harry had to re-explain it to Ginny, Neville looking like he was about to burst into tears any moment. Oh, come off it. Neville is not a wuss. DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER HIM IN THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES?! *give back Capslock of Rage™ again* -5
“Then why are you coming to Neville?” Ginny questioned. Harry stood up and began to pace, his shoes clicking on the wooded floor. Hermione looked up and watched him walk back and forth, his eye subtly twitching.
“Well, no one knows which one of us can destroy him.” Harry sighed and sat down with a plop. Hermione leaned over and hugged him, trying to calm him down. *starts turning red* Oh, really. So that whole bit where Voldemort chose to mark Harry as his equal doesn’t mean anything, then hmm? -20
“So, what does that mean?” Ginny inquired, getting up to get drinks for everyone. Neville nodded, as if to say ‘What she said’.
“It means the following: 1) we have to find out which one of us has to do the dirty work or 2) we have to wing it and both give it a try. I’m not so sure how well the second one is going to work out though.” Harry continued. Ginny came back in the room with four glasses of champagne. *chokes* -10
“Maybe it will calm us down a bit.” She said quietly as she set them down on the coffee table. Harry nodded and was the first to pick his up. Ginny and Neville had continued to ask questions, and both Harry and Hermione were tired.
“How about we discuss this more tomorrow? It’s getting late.” Hermione added, getting up with Harry. Ginny and Neville got up also and followed them the short distance to the fireplace.
“Alright, we’ll talk about this tomorrow.” Ginny said as she hugged them both. Hermione threw in some powder form From. -5 the canister on the fireplace and stepped in with Harry.
I’d like to dedicate this chapter to all who reviewed, Psychotic coconut observer (my 200th reviewer), and Mindy Lou, who was my 201st reviewer and is a great new friend of mine!
To clear up some things:
1) I CHANGED THE PROPHESY ON PURPOSE!! THIS IS A FANFICTION, NOT NONFICTION! YES, BUT THAT GIVES YOU NO RIGHT TO FUCK WITH CANON! THE PROPHESY WAS MADE THAT WAY FOR A REASON AND YOU CAN’T CHANGE IT, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!*gives back Harry’s Capslock of Rage™ again*
2) It is about to be Lexi’s 13th birthday. She is 12, next comes 13! You can count! Good lord, look at that.
Ok, now, guys don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, ok? This is MY story, not yours. *twitch* -50 points
Example: “... or are you actually under the impression that Neville can kill Voldemort!?” That was a review by an anonymous person… Maybe I AM under the impression Neville can kill Voldemort. MUST you contradict my work? CONSTRUCTIVE criticism people! CONSTRUCTIVE! That was constructive you little *mutters something incoherent* You just can’t seem to tell the difference between someone who is trying to help and some who is really just flaming.
Do you have any questions? Email me, I have time to answer!
That is all, now on with the chapter!
P.S. - you might think this chapter has a little less romance and a little more action than you would like, but I wanted a bit of a change considering I haven’t written much action before.
P.P.S.-Get ready for a long chapter! Its over 3,500 words! *is horrified* Nooooooo!
Everyone looked up to see a humongous figure coming towards them. Harry quickly looked over to see Neville two rows back left. Next to him was Bill Weasley.
“Bill Weasley Second last row left! Neville Longbottom center left! Flip!” Immediately Neville was at his side and Bill was in his place. What? -10
“Harry!” Neville squeaked.
“Neville, listen to me. That is Voldemort.” Harry said, pointing at the large figure getting slowly closer. Duh. Neville nodded.
“He knows how to lift the shield. As soon as the shield is gone, Avada him with me at the exact same time. Our spells will combine and hopefully it will be powerful enough. If not, ill have the surrounding group cover us.” Neville nodded nervously with his eyes as large as golf balls.
Neville twitched nervously as Harry told the group surrounding them to cover them with the Avada Kadavra You’re not killing anyone with that curse. -5 curse…the killing curse.
“When the shield is lifted, Avada at will! Surrounding outside, get the DE’s!” Harry yelled to the surrounding mass.
“Harry Potter.” A mysterious voice cracked. “You think you can beat me? Ha!” Immediately the clear bowl covering them disappeared and Harry quickly elbowed Neville.
“AVADA KEDAVRA!!” Harry and Neville yelled. They heard numerous screams and Avadas but none was more overpowering than the electrical sound of Harry and Neville’s curses combined. Suddenly a blinding green and yellow light filled the sky and shot straight towards Voldemort. Everyone looked up, including the death eaters, to see Voldemort twist and turn in pain. He screamed a piercing scream and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Poof! -15
* * *
All the teenagers gasped at the green lights. Lexi screamed loudly as Voldemort disappeared.
“It’s over.” She whispered. Thank goodness. Oh wait, you mean the battle, not the story.
* * *
Harry dropped to the ground in pain as the adults chased after the fleeing death eaters and eventually killing them all. Tense switch! -5
He held his forehead in complete and utter pain. Crying out, he felt as though his head was being ripped to shreds. After a few moments, the subsided somewhat and he was able to look up. There in front of him was Neville on the ground, and it looked like he was hardly breathing. Ginny rushed over and apparated him to the hospital and to also alert the doctors to come get the hurt. The wounded would be better, but I can’t take off points for that. *glares*
Harry got up and looked over to see Lexi running out into the field with tears covering her face. He looked to where she was running. There on the ground was Hermione, seemingly hurt. Harry rushed over to her and got down on the ground. Lexi looked up at him and smiled, Why would she smile? Her mother isn’t moving. -5 but her attention was at her mother right now.
“Mom, mom, are you ok? Mom!” Lexi cried. She bent down on her knees and hugged her mom tightly. She and Harry startled as Hermione stirred. You mean started. -5
“Mione, baby, wake up. Let me know you’re alive and that you’ll be ok.” Harry cried. Mione! -10
“Harry. Lexi.” Hermione mumbled. Her eyes fluttered and opened slightly. She smiled at Harry and at Lexi.
“Lexi, go check on your friends, ok?” Hermione whimpered. Why is she whimpering? -5 Lexi nodded reluctantly and ran off towards the bleachers where kids were slowly crawling out.
“Mione,” Harry whispered as he kissed her lower lip. “You’ll be ok.” Hermione nodded and smiled.
“I have to tell you something.” Hermione’s voice cracked as she lay on the still blood covered grass.
“Anything”
“You know Lexi’s first name is Sarah right?” Hermione asked quietly. As she said this, Harry noticed a small gash in her head that was bleeding. He motioned for the paramedics that were checking wounded to come over. He nodded.
“Well, I sort of name her that in memory of you. As much as I could, of course, without naming her Harriet.” Hermione chuckled but stopped abruptly, holding her stomach in pain. What’s wrong with the name Harriet? -5
“How so?”
“Your name means prince. Sarah means princess. I loved that name, except after she was born, she looked so much like you it pained me to look at her. That’s when I started calling her by her middle name.” Harry’s smile was practically from ear to ear.
“I Love You.” I Hate You. -5 He said to her, and then kissed her on the lips. Her eyes widened and she gasped lightly. He chuckled and looked into her eyes.
“Now would be the time to say something.” She smiled, pulled his head down to hears, and kissed him square on the lips.
“I love you too!” She squealed. Harry lay down next to Hermione in the grass and hugged her.
“I will always love you”Period! -3
And so, Lexi finally gets to go to Hogwarts and everyone lives happily ever after. Except for me.
Point time! -234 points. And well deserved too!
Fandom: That one with the prophesy that no one listens to anymore. *sulks*
Culprit Author's Name: elijahsbaby1981
Full Name (plus titles if any): Hermione Granger and Sarah Alexis Granger-Potter. Called Lexi for some weird reason.
Full Species(es): Gilmore Girls!Harry doesn’t know about us!Sues
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hermione has brown/chestnut hair and Lexi has black hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Both have brown eyes.
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions (if any): Three extra-speshul Sues named Erin Hankins, Caprice( who had no last name), and Jamie Soltis, nephew of Malfoy.
Annoying Origin: Well, Lexi is supposedly Hermione and Harry’s daughter.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Hermione claims to be a canon character. I don’t believe her.
Annoying Special Abilities: To always come out unscathed. JUST FUCK UP WHY DON’T YOU?! *returns Harry’s Capslock of Rage™*
Other Annoying Traits: To just exist. Reading this dreck made me feel very sick. I wanted to hit the computer a lot.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
"Mommy!" Lexi called to her mom.
"What-y!" Hermione yelled back. -3 because Hermione would never be caught dead saying ‘What-y.’ Hermione lay on her bed in her room, staring at the ceiling. She could hear the wizard TV Oh-ho! So they have a Wizard TV, do they? When did they come out with those, I wonder. downstairs, and now she could hear her only daughter yelling for her.
"Come here! They're announcing the new seeker for Puddlemere United!" Lexi yelled. Hermione sighed and slid off the bed. She dragged her feet across the plush pink carpet and down the stairs. Yeah, okay. You call me when the real Hermione gets a plush pink carpet. -3
She got down to the living room and stood next to her twelve-year-old daughter who was sitting on the couch watching TV. Lexi looked up and smiled.
"Hey there mom! Guess what?" Her daughter said excitedly.
"What?"
"This new seeker, he's your age I hear!" She said as she laughed. What’s so funny about that? Hermione rolled her eyes. She and her daughter were like best friends. Hermione was only 29, and Lexi was 12. They were practically inseparable. I think the Suethor watched Gilmore Girls, don’t you?
Hermione felt that she needed to be with her daughter, so she sent her to a wizard day school. She knew how much being away from her mom pained her, so she didn't want to do that to herself. Sarah Alexis Granger didn't know her dad, and didn't even know who he was. She looked almost like an exact cross between her mom and dad. She had black hair, brown eyes, and a slim figure like Hermione. She wasn't like Hermione when she was growing up; she was more like Harry. Lexi was brave, and ambitious. Nothing could stop her even if it tried. Okay, sorting through this. First, do they even have wizard day schools? Second, it would be a wizarding day school. -3. Third, you changed subjects in the middle of the paragraph. -3. And -5 because I hate this thing already.
She looked at the TV to see someone announcing the new seeker.
"Say hello to the new Puddlemere seeker, Harry Potter!" The man said excitedly. Then they showed Harry. They showed the same boy she used to know, with the black hair and green eyes. Hermione knew that he was back three years ago. Ginny had sent her a letter telling her he was back, but that she didn't have to see him or tell him. And that's just what Hermione did. Ginny told her he was upset that she had gone "missing" and was still upset. She still had not told anyone where she was, and wasn't planning on it. He was upset and was still upset. Hello, hi. You have reached the Department of Redundancy Department. How may I help you, aid you, or lend a hand?
Hermione stared at the TV as it had just blown up or done something unnatural. She never took her eyes off of the TV and slowly reached for a chair and sat herself down. Lexi was so caught up in her excitement that she didn't even see her mom, who was about to pass out from shock. Please do, then we can stuff your body in a closet somewhere.
"Oh no! It's starting!" Lexi exclaimed as they got to their seats. The three became amazed with their view of the field. The crowd began to cheer as the teams flew onto the field. Then Harry came onto the field. The referee walked onto the field and I hate the field!
Hermione smiled as she looked in front of the hoops. There she saw Oliver Wood, pumped and ready for the game. She looked over the rest of the team. She scanned her eyes over the Chasers, the beaters, and the seeker. Her eyes finally rested on the seeker. As she heard the referee blow his whistle, she watched Harry up above the game, keeping a keen eye out for the snitch.
And here ladies and gentlemen, we see that the author has forgotten to press the enter bar again. Make note of that please. Moving on."MacDougal from PU has the Quaffle. Oh! Lanier from the Cannons has stolen the Quaffle!" The mega phone boomed. Suddenly the crowd gasped. Harry Potter and the seeker from the Chudley Cannons were racing to catch the golden snitch.
Hermione squinted to see of she could see who the other seeker was. Wait, was that red hair? It couldn't be...Ron? No, it's not possible. Wait, was that a tense change? No, it’s not possible. -2
Then she felt a poke in her shoulder. She waved it off, but it kept poking. She let out and exasperated sigh, and turned. Lexi and Erin were sitting there, wide eyes, pointing towards the two seekers. Yes, we see them. Good job ladies. Hermione looked up again to see the two athletes flying towards the stand with incredible speed. But it wasn't just any part in the stands. They were flying right for her. Oh my goodness! What are we going to do?! Sit back and watch. *snickers* Both were side-by-side with one arm reached out, and a determined face plastered on their faces.
Her eyes widened when she saw who was headed for her. Her childhood best friends, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, were flying towards her head in a professional quidditch Capital Q my friends! -3 game.
She pressed her eyes shut as she heard a fluttering by her ear and held her breath. She knew what was coming. Then she felt herself and a few other people being knocked over in the stands. She could hardly breath Breathe. -5 as the wind was knocked out of her. Then she heard cheers all around her before she passed out...…Why did she pass out…? -10
Hermione looked around the infirmary. The walls were pure white with a few pictures hanging. Some were of nurses, probably from the 1700s. Some were of knights, and a few were of famous quidditch Capital Q, sweetheart. -3 players.
She leaned back on her pale blue pillow and stared at the ceiling. Her long chestnut hair flowed all over the pillow It was liquid. Ooh, that’s fun to think about. I hope it’s cold outside and she gets sick. as she searched for shapes in the ceiling.
Harry and Ron had gone out of the infirmary to find Lexi and Erin. The nurse had insisted that she stay for a few more hours to make sure that she didn't have a concussion. Why would she have a concussion? They didn’t hit her head, they just knocked her backwards. -10
It turned out that Harry had caught the snitch first. Both her friends were so upset that they plowed into her like that, that they pulled some strings and gave her the snitch as a gift. Um. Okay. -10
Hermione looked over to the door and stared its boring pattern. It really didn't even have a pattern. I It. -5 was just plain wood painted white. The floor was boring too. The plain white tile made you dizzy when you looked at it for a while. if it as plain and white, why would it make you dizzy? I’m getting fed up. -10 All the beds were the same. They had pale blue pillows and again, white bed covers. OMGWTF COLOR!!!!!1!1
The doors swung open and Harry waltzed in with a big smile plastered on his face. He still had his blue and gold uniform on from the game, and his black hair was messed up like usual.
"Hermione, your daughter is so wonderful! Erin had to go home so Ron walked her to the portkey station. Anyway, I was talking with your daughter, and she's so interesting! But I have a question." Harry told her excitedly. Her walked up to her bed and pulled up a white chair. He turned it around so he was sitting backwards on it and leaned forward. Hermione half grinned. -10 because I feel like it.
"What is it?" She asked. She slowly shifted so she was up on her elbows. As she did this, Harry discreetly admired her. He let his eyes roam over her legs, her stomach, her chest, and then her face. He didn't want to seem like a freak, but he couldn't help it. Why would he seem like a freak? He’s checking out his best friend. *voice rises into slightly hysterical pitch* That’s not freakish at all. He finally snapped out of his reverie and took a deep breath.
"Well, I don't mean to intrude on your life, but who is Lexi's father?" He asked. Hermione's heart dropped. She chewed the inside of her lip. What will she do now? Anyone want popcorn? It should be a nice show.
Hermione took a deep breath to answer, but before she could, the doors swung open again. Both Hermione and Harry looked over to the doors to see Ron and Lexi standing there. Ron looked tired and Lexi looked happy and excited.
Lexi looked around and involuntarily shivered. She wasn't cold or anything; it was just all the white in the room. Hermione gave her a questioning look and raised an eyebrow (A/n: I can't do that! I always try and I can't do it! I usually end up raising both...) Do we care? -10 because you’re NOT supposed to put author’s notes randomly into the story. Did J.K. Rowling ever do that? Hmm? I didn’t think so!
"Never mind. Mom, I'm going to go outside. This place gives me the creeps." She said as she turned around and walked out of the door. Hermione nodded as she tuned back to Harry.
"Well? Who is it?" He asked. He pointedly looked at her as she shifted her eyes to the ground. He walked forwards and sat on the edge of her bed. He reached his hand out and lifted her chin so she looked at him. Don’t you touch her. She’ll infect you too.
"Well...uh...I can't tell you that." She said quietly. She pulled her head away from him and got up. She padded across the white tile floor to the window. She knew this day would come, but she never thought it would be this soon. Harry sighed.
"Why not?" He asked as he turned around so he could face her, even though her back was facing him. Well then he wouldn’t really be facing her would he?
"Because." Hermione never gives one-word answers.
"Because is not an answer" Period! -3, though I’ll give him one point for not letting her get away with one word.
"It is in my vocabulary." She told him. She was starting to get agitated. She was about to say that it was none of his business, but actually, it was.
"Come on Herm! I mean, unless you don't know..." He answered. He was going to get up, but he didn't want her to walk out. Herm. *dies* -10 because I HATE that name! And -5 for suggesting that Hermione doesn’t know who the father is.
"I know who it is Harry! How could you think that?" She yelled. She had whipped around and stared at his like he was a lunatic. At his what? Dick? Head? Quidditch Toned Muscles™? -10
"I don't know what I think! You said you couldn't tell me, so what was I supposed to think!" He started raising his voice. He never wanted to start yelling, but it came unexpectedly.
"I don't know either! One day I was just fine being away from everybody, and the
next you What’s with the extra space a the end of the line? Confused! -3 just pop back into my life and make everything confusing!" She yelled. She began to pace around the room and see how many tiles she could step on in less than a minute.
"How did I make things confusing? It's not like Im her father!" I’m. -5He yelled even louder. Before he could even take a breath, Hermione replied.
"But that's just the thing! You are!" She yelled out. Her eyes widened and she gasped. Before Harry could even react she had run out of the infirmary...What is it with the dots? -5
And then Lexi gets kidnapped by Draco Malfoy. Harry and Ron run out to get her back and Ron kills Voldemort! Where did that come from?! Oh, but things don’t get better just yet! Oh and Lexi has a boyfriend. I bet you’ll never guess who he is!
Caprice and Hermione sat with their heads in their hands as Harry paced the room. All three of their heads snapped up towards the door as they heard yelling outside. Can I snap your necks?
“I demand you let me see my nephew right now! You can not restrict me! I’m family! Get out of my way you bastards!” All three of them heard a man yelling outside. The yelling got closer and closer to their door and they all stood up. Caprice gasped as the door handle shook and the door flew open.
A man ran in with two guards coming after him. His feet skidded on the tiled floor as he ran in. He shut the door in the guard’s faces and quickly locked it with many spells and charms. You only need one spell/charm to lock a door, ass hole. And they have wands too, so even if you did put more than one on, they could get through. -5 He sighed and turned around slowly to see three people staring with wide eyes at him. Hermione backed up a few steps in wonder and Harry stood there with him mouth hanging open.
“Malfoy!?” Double yew tee eff, mate?
* * *
(I was considering on stopping it here but I decided not to because then it would be too short.) Oh please, don’t go on! -10
“Stop staring Potter, your mouth might stay that way.” He sneered. There was Draco Malfoy, in the flesh. Blonde hair slicked back, broad shoulders, and firm jaw. He smirked as he turned towards Hermione. Thank you for the update on his appearance. -5
“I never cease to amaze you, do I, Mudblood?” He sneered once again. Hermione glared at him in anger. How else would she glare at him?
“What do you want Malfoy?” Harry asked, moving slightly to block his daughter from view. Draco raised an eyebrow at him.
“Why, I came to see my nephew, James. Do you have a problem with that Potty?” All three stared at him in wonder.
“He- He’s your nephew?” Hermione asked.
“No, I just barged in here to see someone I don’t know and come to see you nitwits on purpose. Oh yeah.” Makes no sense. May-day, man down! -5He said, rolling his eyes. He walked quietly over to Jamie and sat down on the bed. They were still looking at him when he turned around to glare. He got up and flung the curtain around, startling the three. OMFG! What was that!
revised_prophesy>
Neville jumped as he saw Harry Potter and Hermione Granger appear out of his fireplace. Apparently he was having a quiet evening with his wife, Ginny. Hermione looked around to see a log cabin style living room with a hardwood floor and a bear skin rug before the fireplace. I can’t see Neville with a bear skin rug. -3
Hermione had dreaded seeing Neville and Ginny, for she didn’t know if Neville knew she was back or how Ginny would react. If you remember, Ginny was the only one she kept in contact with while she was ‘missing’. How could we forget?
The two were welcomed my two shocked faces. Hermione waved slightly to the married couple, as they sat on the couch, still obviously stunned.
“Hermione?” Neville cried in amazement. She nodded and smiled as he jumped up and attacked her with a large hug. Neville wouldn’t attack anyone either. And he’s definitely not large. -5
“Hermione! I haven’t seen you in so long!” Ginny cried, pulling her overjoyed husband off the newcomers. Hermione grinned and hugged her best friend. She saw Neville also giving Harry a large hug and laughed. Too many hugs. I can’t stand it.
“How come you’re here? Is everything ok? Or are you just here for a visit?” Ginny inquired, offering the two a seat.
“Well, actually, we need to talk to you about something. Mostly Neville, actually.” Harry began. Ginny sat down with a concerned look on her face and turned to her husband. Neville’s eyes widened a bit and he sat up.
“I don’t know if you heard, but Voldemort was supposedly destroyed.” Both Ginny and Neville cringed; Ginny more than Neville, for she had had more experience with the Dark Lord. And she was strong enough to get through it. Ginny would not cringe. -3 Finally they both nodded.
“Well, we think that we were mistaken. You see, we thought that Ron had destroyed him, using the Avada Kadavra Try again, not going to kill anyone with that curse! -5 curse. Bu But. -5then when her- our daughter had a nightmare that he is using her to lead him to me, we think that he might not have destroyed him. That’s when I remembered The Prophesy.” Neville was still in shock that Harry had said “our daughter” meaning himself and Hermione, but now it seemed like he was going to pass out.
“The Prophesy? I forgot about that.” Neville said in monotone. Ginny was still thoroughly confused.
“What prophesy are we talking about here?” Harry had to re-explain it to Ginny, Neville looking like he was about to burst into tears any moment. Oh, come off it. Neville is not a wuss. DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER HIM IN THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES?! *give back Capslock of Rage™ again* -5
“Then why are you coming to Neville?” Ginny questioned. Harry stood up and began to pace, his shoes clicking on the wooded floor. Hermione looked up and watched him walk back and forth, his eye subtly twitching.
“Well, no one knows which one of us can destroy him.” Harry sighed and sat down with a plop. Hermione leaned over and hugged him, trying to calm him down. *starts turning red* Oh, really. So that whole bit where Voldemort chose to mark Harry as his equal doesn’t mean anything, then hmm? -20
“So, what does that mean?” Ginny inquired, getting up to get drinks for everyone. Neville nodded, as if to say ‘What she said’.
“It means the following: 1) we have to find out which one of us has to do the dirty work or 2) we have to wing it and both give it a try. I’m not so sure how well the second one is going to work out though.” Harry continued. Ginny came back in the room with four glasses of champagne. *chokes* -10
“Maybe it will calm us down a bit.” She said quietly as she set them down on the coffee table. Harry nodded and was the first to pick his up. Ginny and Neville had continued to ask questions, and both Harry and Hermione were tired.
“How about we discuss this more tomorrow? It’s getting late.” Hermione added, getting up with Harry. Ginny and Neville got up also and followed them the short distance to the fireplace.
“Alright, we’ll talk about this tomorrow.” Ginny said as she hugged them both. Hermione threw in some powder form From. -5 the canister on the fireplace and stepped in with Harry.
I’d like to dedicate this chapter to all who reviewed, Psychotic coconut observer (my 200th reviewer), and Mindy Lou, who was my 201st reviewer and is a great new friend of mine!
To clear up some things:
1) I CHANGED THE PROPHESY ON PURPOSE!! THIS IS A FANFICTION, NOT NONFICTION! YES, BUT THAT GIVES YOU NO RIGHT TO FUCK WITH CANON! THE PROPHESY WAS MADE THAT WAY FOR A REASON AND YOU CAN’T CHANGE IT, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!*gives back Harry’s Capslock of Rage™ again*
2) It is about to be Lexi’s 13th birthday. She is 12, next comes 13! You can count! Good lord, look at that.
Ok, now, guys don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, ok? This is MY story, not yours. *twitch* -50 points
Example: “... or are you actually under the impression that Neville can kill Voldemort!?” That was a review by an anonymous person… Maybe I AM under the impression Neville can kill Voldemort. MUST you contradict my work? CONSTRUCTIVE criticism people! CONSTRUCTIVE! That was constructive you little *mutters something incoherent* You just can’t seem to tell the difference between someone who is trying to help and some who is really just flaming.
Do you have any questions? Email me, I have time to answer!
That is all, now on with the chapter!
P.S. - you might think this chapter has a little less romance and a little more action than you would like, but I wanted a bit of a change considering I haven’t written much action before.
P.P.S.-Get ready for a long chapter! Its over 3,500 words! *is horrified* Nooooooo!
Everyone looked up to see a humongous figure coming towards them. Harry quickly looked over to see Neville two rows back left. Next to him was Bill Weasley.
“Bill Weasley Second last row left! Neville Longbottom center left! Flip!” Immediately Neville was at his side and Bill was in his place. What? -10
“Harry!” Neville squeaked.
“Neville, listen to me. That is Voldemort.” Harry said, pointing at the large figure getting slowly closer. Duh. Neville nodded.
“He knows how to lift the shield. As soon as the shield is gone, Avada him with me at the exact same time. Our spells will combine and hopefully it will be powerful enough. If not, ill have the surrounding group cover us.” Neville nodded nervously with his eyes as large as golf balls.
Neville twitched nervously as Harry told the group surrounding them to cover them with the Avada Kadavra You’re not killing anyone with that curse. -5 curse…the killing curse.
“When the shield is lifted, Avada at will! Surrounding outside, get the DE’s!” Harry yelled to the surrounding mass.
“Harry Potter.” A mysterious voice cracked. “You think you can beat me? Ha!” Immediately the clear bowl covering them disappeared and Harry quickly elbowed Neville.
“AVADA KEDAVRA!!” Harry and Neville yelled. They heard numerous screams and Avadas but none was more overpowering than the electrical sound of Harry and Neville’s curses combined. Suddenly a blinding green and yellow light filled the sky and shot straight towards Voldemort. Everyone looked up, including the death eaters, to see Voldemort twist and turn in pain. He screamed a piercing scream and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Poof! -15
* * *
All the teenagers gasped at the green lights. Lexi screamed loudly as Voldemort disappeared.
“It’s over.” She whispered. Thank goodness. Oh wait, you mean the battle, not the story.
* * *
Harry dropped to the ground in pain as the adults chased after the fleeing death eaters and eventually killing them all. Tense switch! -5
He held his forehead in complete and utter pain. Crying out, he felt as though his head was being ripped to shreds. After a few moments, the subsided somewhat and he was able to look up. There in front of him was Neville on the ground, and it looked like he was hardly breathing. Ginny rushed over and apparated him to the hospital and to also alert the doctors to come get the hurt. The wounded would be better, but I can’t take off points for that. *glares*
Harry got up and looked over to see Lexi running out into the field with tears covering her face. He looked to where she was running. There on the ground was Hermione, seemingly hurt. Harry rushed over to her and got down on the ground. Lexi looked up at him and smiled, Why would she smile? Her mother isn’t moving. -5 but her attention was at her mother right now.
“Mom, mom, are you ok? Mom!” Lexi cried. She bent down on her knees and hugged her mom tightly. She and Harry startled as Hermione stirred. You mean started. -5
“Mione, baby, wake up. Let me know you’re alive and that you’ll be ok.” Harry cried. Mione! -10
“Harry. Lexi.” Hermione mumbled. Her eyes fluttered and opened slightly. She smiled at Harry and at Lexi.
“Lexi, go check on your friends, ok?” Hermione whimpered. Why is she whimpering? -5 Lexi nodded reluctantly and ran off towards the bleachers where kids were slowly crawling out.
“Mione,” Harry whispered as he kissed her lower lip. “You’ll be ok.” Hermione nodded and smiled.
“I have to tell you something.” Hermione’s voice cracked as she lay on the still blood covered grass.
“Anything”
“You know Lexi’s first name is Sarah right?” Hermione asked quietly. As she said this, Harry noticed a small gash in her head that was bleeding. He motioned for the paramedics that were checking wounded to come over. He nodded.
“Well, I sort of name her that in memory of you. As much as I could, of course, without naming her Harriet.” Hermione chuckled but stopped abruptly, holding her stomach in pain. What’s wrong with the name Harriet? -5
“How so?”
“Your name means prince. Sarah means princess. I loved that name, except after she was born, she looked so much like you it pained me to look at her. That’s when I started calling her by her middle name.” Harry’s smile was practically from ear to ear.
“I Love You.” I Hate You. -5 He said to her, and then kissed her on the lips. Her eyes widened and she gasped lightly. He chuckled and looked into her eyes.
“Now would be the time to say something.” She smiled, pulled his head down to hears, and kissed him square on the lips.
“I love you too!” She squealed. Harry lay down next to Hermione in the grass and hugged her.
“I will always love you”Period! -3
And so, Lexi finally gets to go to Hogwarts and everyone lives happily ever after. Except for me.
Point time! -234 points. And well deserved too!