one ♣ text

[seethru]

Some time we've had lately, new friends. Riots, people acting out of sorts, the black sheep of the home universe family coming out of the woodwork. A good old fashioned holiday season, just like mom used to make. How's everybody doing? Anyway, I've got a story for you.

Comments

[grenadeball]

each and every time i passed out drunk in barney's presence and she drew either penises on my face, or victorian styled poems about penises, or both

her color is more of a dirty rainbow

[seethru]

you must have a big face if you can fit a whole poem with complimentary illustrations on there

[grenadeball]

my ears are huge

but no, for the purpose of dicks, she can make her handwriting reaaaaaal small

squeeze in some byronic lines about dongs all over my cheek

[seethru]

did they rhyme, at least?

[voice]

[meowminx]

[ One he might recognize? ]

I'd be surprised if many people are willing to answer that.

[seethru]

either way i still get an answer worth having

[meowminx]

Stay here long enough and you'll experience just how much the Porter likes to humiliate people.

I am assuming you're new. Don't recognize the comm number.

[seethru]

reckon the universe is perfectly capable of doing that itself, but i'm sure it appreciates a helping hand

oh, i've been around. you just haven't seen me.

[maggotbone]

Nice story~ Personally I agree with the second ending, but that shouldn't be much of a surprise.

To answer your question, I'm never the fool. I guess if I had to pick one instance, it'd probably be when I was left at my 13th Zechalech ceremony, about to suck the soul out of a cabbie because my boyfriend misunderstood the whole point of the "puzzle box" and backed out on the last minute. Moron. Anyway. I couldn't bring myself to suck out the cabbie's soul, and my parents were really making a scene arguing about whether I should or shouldn't fill the box.

So I got irritated and pulled out my own soul to fill the puzzle box. I ended up being stopped at the end, and I decided not to fill the stupid box.

I'm not really sure who was what color in this scenario. I just know my idiot boyfriend at the time caused the whole thing to happen. Between my parents bickering and having to whip out my own soul it was uncomfortable.

[seethru]

that's boyfriends for you

what's zechalech ceremony?

[maggotbone]

What's Zechalech? It's an ancient demonic ceremony. You get your first Zechalech after you are initiated as a full demon, with all the right knowledge and training. It happens annually... like a birthday. Usually someone speaks on your behalf, and sometimes it's followed by a soul-sucking ceremony if the appropriate arrangements are made.

[seethru]

sounds like a bar mitzvah i went to once

i'm guessing abducting a cab driver ain't the appropriate arrangements?

voice;

[fishnets]

I don't trust you to not use it against me.

[seethru]

how quickly you've seen through my cunning ruse

pretty sure i'm responsible for most of yours, anyway

brb getting my hair cut for real c:

[fishnets]

Hey, you can't con a con. Well, not too easily, at least.

It's safe to say that you're responsible for anywhere between twenty-five and thirty percent of the overall. But not the most recent, no. Not unless you're planning something...

looking forward to seeing your new mohawk! c:

[seethru]

i wouldn't dare publicly humiliate such a dear and innocent friend of mine. hold up... never mind, i was thinking of mary marvel.

so, been causing scenes, have we?

text;

[bests]

Will it still count if the greatest time I felt like a fool is a story that gets told fairly often?

[seethru]

well, unless you're britney spears i ain't heard it yet. but i'll take any you got if you're sick of telling that one.

[bests]

It's an oldie but a goodie, as they say.

I used to be a pilot in the Air Force, and my call sign was 'Cheeseburger.' I don't know if you know anything about the Air Force, but no one actually gets cool call signs. Mine happened to be the result of an unfortunate accident while I was still in training. See, before they let you in the planes, they put you in this G-force simulator that spins you around and around... I'd made the mistake of not listening to the people who told me not to eat before it was my turn to go on.

After having been called that for quite a while the embarrassment is mostly gone, but it was terrible then.

[seethru]

um, cheeseburgers are delicious and you should bear their name with pride. not to mention hurling for your country is more than most people have ever done.