In this show there is no fourth wall whatsoever. - George Stavropoulos

[pacifisted]

[Whatever you're watching this morning, whether it be the news or cartoons, unscrambled cable porn channels--Tony Stark, we're looking at you--or educational documentaries, televangelists or infomercials... you're not watching it anymore. (Those of you who are lazy and get up late? You can catch it on CMM throughout the day as they re-run the

Comments

[action!]

[hackeralastair]

[he's running late for work, rushing around the apartment in his trenchcoat looking for something and so not paying attention to the TV]

...where the fuck are they. Where are my damn keys? I gotta get on the road! Dammit, I'm not going to have time to stop for coffee now...

perma-action

[hackeralastair]

[as if just noticing him] Huh? Hey, Ryou, have you seen the keys to my bike? I always leave 'em right here on the counter. Trowa's damn rat better not have stolen them...

Video/Action

[ctu_savior]

This can't be serious.

[In the background, a phone begins to ring. Then another, and another, and another. Then the crackle of a radio can be heard, a panicked voice saying something about subways and intersections.]

Oh my God, they're actually going to do it.

POLICE FILTER

I need to talk to every police officer on this channel, now.

Action

[grey1911]

[Aaron was just having his first meeting with Roberta to discuss his new job responsibilities, too. Yeah, they're hard working early birds. He's coming out of her office when he looks at Jack. He migh actually almost look angry.]

I'll do what I can until the Commissioner needs me to deal with the media.

[Which will probably be very, very soon. He's not looking forward to this.]

Action

[ctu_savior]

[There is no 'might' to how angry Jack looks. The sheer absurdity of this attack, combined with its very real threat, just plain ticks him off.]

Yeah. [He sighs, and loads his gun.] Standard procedure, tell all civilians to stay inside and off the streets. [He stands up] I'm taking the chopper.

Action

[grey1911]

Of course.

[When Jack checks his gun, Aaron frowns. It's not like this was an invasion of The Major's vampires. Jack probably doesn't need the reminder, but it seems like it needs to be said.]

Many of them are likely to be children, Jack.

NEWS TV

[homomachinis]

[ That's right, if you're watching the news, they've all got a breaking News thing going on, and on one side of the screen is your local Mayor, the other side is the leader of our fandom attacks groups! ]

"And yes, this just in, we do have an exclusive panel interview to bring you all today. On the one end, we have the current Mayor of the City, Mitchell Hundred, who's also a part of the Import population. On the other, we have the leader of the group that's just declared war on the import population, gentlemen, what's the deal here?"

[ Mitch is speaking first whether the Leader likes it or not, sorry 8( ]

Well, I think that's an excellent question, isn't it? Look, I'd just like to say that I feel for the people who've been here and found some of their prized possessions up and disappeared. I'm well known for having some kinship with the groups we have here, being a fan myself. What I'm struck by, is that you people think this is enough to declare war over.

Re: NEWS TV

[pacifisted]

[The Leader, whose name is still unknown, appears to be mocking Mitch with a talking-hand gesture, mouthing 'blah blah blah' the entire time. It's pretty clear he doesn't think a whole lot of Mitch, or his politispeak. When it's his turn, The Leader straightens up and glares at the camera, as if there were a dozen Imports directly in front of him and he wanted them to know just how much he disapproved of them all.]

Some? Some?

Tina here lost her copy of Action Comics #1 when that first Superdoofus got Imported--come over here, Tina; go on, say hello.

[A timid-looking woman somewhere in her forties peeks into the frame, raising her hand and whispering a quiet 'hello' before backing out of view again.]

Tina was distraught. Her retirement plans were shot! Now she's going to have to live in--in a cardboard box, or something, when she turns 65.

[Off-screen, and probably still Tina: "Yeah!"]

And my main man Dave there, he was the biggest collector of GL merch on the East Coast. You know how much stuff poofed out overnight? A

Re: NEWS TV

[homomachinis]

[ He's agape at the whole Action Comics thing, and it's showing. ]

[ BEEP ] she actually had a copy of Action Comics #1? [ BEEP] me!

I think you have your distinctions mixed, sir. I'm not a Superhero, I'm a politician. I was a [ BEEEEP ] one, at best. Despite that, I understand how you're feeling. Believe me, I do, but declaring war on us doesn't make any solutions. Do you know what it's like as an import to show up with your entire life lost? To rebuild everything from the ground up? I do. It's not quite unlike what your people are feeling. I'm [ BEEEEEEEEP ] forty, and so I know what Tina's going through. We all have to make sacrifices in this world, and only when we work together can we actually come up with a solution. How is fighting in the streets and creating public destruction helping anyone?

[pacifisted]

[Mitch's shock about the comic seems to please him, spurring him on.]

[BEEP] right she did.

And you don't understand. You guys come in here, all "pew pew" with your eye lasers and attacking the darkness and stuff, and it's okay if you don't have anything because when you do get it, nobody comes in and takes it all away again, two or three or five times. Even if you, like... go away, or get Exported, or whatever, then it's usually still here when you come back. And most of you guys don't know anything about each other's canons, so it's not like you're hurting as much as we are!

Plus, taking all that stuff away from us is ruining businesses and stuff. You're attacking the economy and threatening the stability of the, well, the economy, and the economy kinda sucks right now anyway so you're making it a lot worse, [BEEP].

[POINT.]

AND THAT MAKES ALL IMPORTS TERRORISTS.

[Smug. That probably netted him some more conservative support, right there.]Besides, we are working together. Bet you never seen so many fandoms playing nice

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[bluepurrymuffin]

What is this utter malarkey?

video;

[nolongerafactor]

What's a "crabhammer"?

video;

[bluepurrymuffin]

Near as I can tell, and various references in the message would support this, it's a move from the Pokémon games.

video;

[nolongerafactor]

The one with the Pikachu?

[Yeah, someone didn't spend much time with those ones... Also yay! Here for two days and the City is exploding! Doesn't Betty feel special.]

What's this got to do with the Porter?

video

[arakhnes]

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

video

[haki]

[ he was watching playhouse disney B( early morning..desuuu? ]

Spiiiider. What's going ooooon?

video/threadjack!

[notadartboard]

Oi. Luffy.

[he's outside on his early morning grocery run. Things haven't gotten stupid yet but traffic is starting to snarl]

Keep an eye on the news thing, would you? I'll be back as soon as I can, if I can get through the mess.

video

[haki]

[ groaaaan ] I don't wanna. I want my movie! [ moves to fiddle with the remote ]