i lost myself inside someone else [i couldn't see the lines between her and me]

[logan_echolls]

I didn't sleep. Well, at least, not well. Every time I twisted in discontent sleep, the bandage would pull harder at my skin and there would be a dull ache that was quickly turning into a sharp pain as the medication wore off. There were times throughout the night that I was waking myself up with each uncomfortable movement

Comments

[renewedsoul_v]

So I knew my dad would be less than thrilled if he woke me up and found me in Logan's bed, but at this point I didn't much care. I hadn't really had a decent night's sleep since the night before Liam so rudely destroyed our comfortable little lives - and I didn't see that changing any sharing a bed with Trina

[logan_echolls]

"I wasn't asleep. Not really," I answered her, my voice still under a whisper. How could I possibly sleep like this? Sleeping in a bedroom without Trina is hard enough if she's in the same general vicinity. She's cheery in the morning - like Snow White I'm talking to the birdies and they're talking to me too cheery. And it's goddamn annoying when you like sleep and she pulls back your curtains to wake you up with some 'Good morning, Sunshine' attitude

[renewedsoul_v]

I'm not to stubborn and independent to admit that the moment his hand finds me I can't help but relax. If only a little. I wasn't sure if the groan was pain from the bed shifting or exasperation at my trying to act like I'm fine when we both know I'm not. But his hand around mind means one thing: he's right there with me and despite it seeming like a total oxymoron with the way our relationship has always been, it's calming to know that.

"You are such an asshole." I reply lightly, my voice still a whisper as he says he has no problem kicking me out of bed. I don't have to be able to see his face clearly to know he's at the very least smirking. "You know that, right?" Yeah, he might be an asshole, but he's one I'm crazy in love with. What does that say about meThen he does this thing where he's being concerned and gently prodding for me to talk to him. Forget there's two other people in the room that could overhear us and just let him in on whatever it is that's caused me to crawl into his bed in the middle of the night with those

[logan_echolls]

I can't help but yawn, because really I was exhausted by everything - one of those side effects. I felt the urge to curb it around Veronica because I knew she was going to tell me something important and seeing her boyfriend sleepy she'd probably want to postpone it. Which really, I was tired 24/7 since I got shot and nothing was comfortable. So, now, was really the best time when her father and my sister were somewhat unconscious.

I feel her relax just a little as my hand finds her and my grin widens when she counters my not having a problem kicking her out of bed with You are such an asshole. There were worst things to be called and really I was sure there were times that the both of us wanted to get under each other's skin again and again - regardless of the current situation

[renewedsoul_v]

There was something just so normal about the playfully little digs we exchanged... which was something we both needed more than we could possibly say right now. Things to feel normal again. Except that we were wanting a normal that no longer existed and going back to a life that wasn't really normal to start with. Yay

[logan_echolls]

"Yeah, but you are a headcase," I told her. Which, granted, probably isn't the best thing to tell your girlfriend under any circumstances. I let out a short laugh like breath softly. "I don't mean that in some psycho boyfriend way that's bound to be offensive. It's just, yeah, this whole thing sounds a little crazy and you wouldn't be you if you weren't freaking out about this in some way

[renewedsoul_v]

"Nice save, Logan." I couldn't help but smile when he clarifies his agreement that I am most definitely a headcase. "Really

[logan_echolls]

So, not to be completely and entirely cynical, but as Veronica gains family members I'm pretty sure I can watch mine decrease. I look over Veronica's shoulder and Trina's asleep and making some sort of sound out of her mouth or nose or possibly both. If I wasn't so self involved in my own pain or didn't have my girlfriend settled beside me in the bed I might have been jealous that Veronica had to share a bed with her. As much as Trina is here now, I have to wonder how long that's truly going to last. I'm not even sure I want it to. Actually, I'm pretty sure I don't

[renewedsoul_v]

"Extra holes. There's always holes." I pointed out just as teasingly, "But yes, you definitely get bonus points for that and the painkillers." That don't actually seem quite strong enough in their prescribed doses... or was that just me? "I'll scan the reference page onto my laptop." I added with a smirk

[logan_echolls]

I give a quiet snort at her mentioning of holes. I'm pretty sure what that discussion might lead to had we not been in a hotel room with her father and my sister along with the aforementioned bullet hole in my gut

[renewedsoul_v]

"Perv." I rolled my eyes at his snort. "Your mind clearly went somewhere mine hadn't with that statement." Yeah, I had been thinking ears, nose, mouth... orifices through which the of most of our body heat escapes

[logan_echolls]

"Clearly," I said to her with a small grin as she rolled her eyes.

I paused on her next words and gave a sort of nod. "See, I'd rather be related to Dick than my own relatives, but honestly it's a step up," I told her. Dick would be like a step down for her which honestly meant that being related to my family was like a leap.

She looked thoughtful and I was right there with her. I was like watching myself from afar leaving this life I had in Virginia Beach with Veronica to whatever was waiting for us back in Neptune. I didn't want that. I didn't want to return. I didn't want whatever my sister wanted out of a family suddenly and I didn't see the potential in returning to that god awful town.

Thanks to whatever magic her dad worked out to make us not instantly land in jail, thanks to not dying from a gunshot wound. Thanks to a lot of shit, but I wasn't thinking about that for being fine. "Yeah," I agreed despite myself.

[renewedsoul_v]

"Seriously... under the best circumstances there are still other people in the room." I pointed out, smiling at his grin before placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah, I can get that." I agreed softly, "And I know he's your friend and all, so for you that might be good, like Wallace being my step brother will be for me... but Dick and I? I don't think we're ever going to be pals."

"I'm feeling weird about going back, too, Logan." I told him quietly. I knew it wasn't the same because he didn't have anything to come back to the way I did. Except for me... but he had me in Virgina Beach. "But at least were in this together, right?"

[logan_echolls]

"I honestly already went through those thoughts," I told her teasingly, but seriously. I shut my eyes at her soft kiss against my cheek, thankful for at least this moment.

"Considering how my sum of friends have gone down with that whole my father is a murderer thing and even more with dating my best friend's ex thing, Dick is ranking kinda high there with all the competition," I replied wryly. "But, yeah, I don't expect you two to be exchanging friendship bracelets and having fun all you can eat ice cream nights while he braids your hair."

I glanced over to her as she commented about feeling weird going back and I saw in that same instance the look in her eyes that knew that it wasn't the same for her as it was for me. I forced a small smile onto my face and nodded to her, tugging her close to kiss her forehead.

"I think I should stay with you and your dad," I told her softly. What could it hurt?