Comments | cantchangeme: Right back to square one.

logan_echolls in cantchangeme

Right back to square one.

Dec 09, 2005 00:43

If I had known that Veronica's reaction to me kissing her would be ravishing me right back, despite the fact that she had just broken up with Duncan, I quite possibly would have kissed her a lot sooner ( Read more... )

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renewedsoul_v December 10 2005, 10:46:47 UTC

"I think you may have answered you're own question there." I smiled, "And you can have Sour Patch Kids for dessert after lunch, couldn't you?" I pointed out. He could pair them off with actual food ( ... )

logan_echolls December 10 2005, 11:01:59 UTC

"Trina collected Dad's Golden Globe that survived from the fire," I told Veronica, kissing her lightly once more with a sort of shrug before separating from her. "I guess we can pretty much chuck my dad's stuff. There's nothing I want of his," I insisted quietly. "I don't know, we can sell it on eBay or something. Just put it in a box." - And toss it away out of sight so I didn't have to see my dad's collection of belts or feel like my mom was still existing here just because her stuff was still around ( ... )

renewedsoul_v December 10 2005, 11:17:22 UTC

"Even so, it needs to come out, right? And like you said, eBay's always an option. Or you can leave it at the Goodwill, or the dump. Whatever you want. It just needs to not be here, right?" I questioned. "I do get it, Logan." I told him, my tone gentle. Getting it out and not having to look at it all would make being here much easier for him.

"I'll clear out your mom's stuff." I said, pulling open one of the drawers and pulling out a stack the perfectly folded clothes and moving them to the box. No way had my drawers ever been that tidy. Moving on to the next stack, it felt a little heavier when I went to move it, which made sense as soon as an unmarked VHS tape tumbled out of the pile and into the drawer ( ... )

logan_echolls December 10 2005, 11:46:14 UTC

I knew Veronica got it. She was probably the only one who'd ever see me this way. There was possibly only two people in the world that I'd ever do this with - clean out this stuff with - and one of them had separated himself completely from my life. The other was right here for every moment I could smell the cologne my dad used or the scent of my mom still lingering on her clothing ( ... )

renewedsoul_v December 10 2005, 19:41:19 UTC

I wanted to be able to argue with Logan when he said his mom didn't know. Maybe not about Lilly, but after last Christmas it was more than a safe bet she knew he'd been unfaithful even if she wouldn't admit it to herself. And from the set up I saw in the pool house, how could the times with Lilly be the only trysts he'd bothered to record? It just didn't work like that.

And even then, what said that Aaron sleeping with Lilly wasn't one of the many things that broke Lynn? Affairs are hurtful enough, but one with your teenage son's girlfriend. Yeah, that would definitely take the cake.

As soon as my mom's face came into focus on the screen my stomach twisted itself in knots. I let go of Logan's hand only because I had to to get the image off the screen and I jumped up to hit the power button. "Okay, that's definitely enough of that." I said quietly ( ... )

logan_echolls December 10 2005, 20:04:55 UTC

Veronica reacted in the instant, shutting off the TV quickly. No, it wasn't news that my dad was unfaithful, but, god, who was I going to discover next between his sheets? Lianne Mars and Aaron Echolls, where did that even come from anyway? I mean, our parents got along, but it wasn't... - and no, the few seconds that I watched before Veronica just shut it off completely were passion filled ( ... )

renewedsoul_v December 10 2005, 20:28:02 UTC

"I don't know, Logan." I shook my head when he asked when that was. I didn't have a clue, and I was suddenly wondering if my dad knew about it at all. Probably not or he would have kicked Mom out long before she had a chance to leave us. "I wasn't exactly looking for a date stamp." No, I just wanted it off the screen and to scrub the images from my brain. Where where the Men in Black with their memory-erasing light every time I really needed it ( ... )

logan_echolls December 10 2005, 21:46:53 UTC

"Okay, so should I be feeling better about the possibility that my mom wanted to leave my dad or feel worse when she didn't do it?" I asked, slipping my hand out from under Veronica's. Sure, she made a point about how that tape didn't tell us anything new about our parents other than the fact that they were together (And from looking at how they acted? More than once). It was a point. They were always unfaithful. They were always the crappy parents we thought they were ( ... )

renewedsoul_v December 10 2005, 22:10:35 UTC

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it." I stated when he asked if he should be feeling better about his mom wanting to leave his dad. I let out a breath. He wasn't going to help anything by trying to dissect why his mom didn't use the tape. He was just going to make himself feel worse ( ... )

logan_echolls December 10 2005, 22:57:32 UTC

She had hated him. Hate was easier to accept than the alternative of her actually being in love with him - with everything that he had done to her, still in love with him. I think I'm the only kid in the world that possibly didn't want his parents to be in love, just because they kept hurting each other ( ... )

renewedsoul_v December 10 2005, 23:20:42 UTC

"I know." I said quietly, closing my eyes for a moment as he talked about his parents. Sad part is that I really wasn't much better in the keeping things going because it was easier than not department. How long did I stay with Duncan when things felt off? How far did I have to be pushed before I walked?

I was so completely sick of how fake everything in this town was. I could probably count on my fingers without any trouble at all the amount of people at school that aren't completely phony about everything. Keeping everybody at arms length, making like everything's perfect. If it was an olympic sport there were some serious contenders for the gold medal in this place.

"I know." I repeated when he mentioned the tape. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to keep breathing evenly, not let recorded images of a woman I wasn't completely sure actually loved me being so completely in love with a man that wasn't my father completely crush me ( ... )

logan_echolls December 10 2005, 23:48:15 UTC

Lianne Mars: Another Neptune wife, another Neptune mother. She fit the minimum requirement of having a dirty past that people knew, but never talked about. She had enough secrets and she definitely did things that screwed over Veronica for life. I grimaced at the sight of Veronica's tears.

"Hey," I said quietly, exhaling softly as I reached over to brush her tears away with the pad of my thumb. "I didn't...- I know that this brings up as many questions for you as it does for me. I just-"

I wonder if I could have dealt better with this if I had seen Lilly on the tape. I think I would have understood why my mom didn't turn in the tape. I think I would have gotten it over with and just hated him and continued to reassure that hatred. Even if it was a stranger, I would have tossed it away; but, no, it was Veronica's mother. I mean how screwed up could things really get ( ... )

renewedsoul_v December 11 2005, 00:33:47 UTC

"It's fine, Logan." I said softly, as he wiped away my tears. I knew he hadn't meant to upset me, but it wasn't really him that had did it anyway. It was mom. "I know why you asked. It's fine. I just - my mom's practically a stranger aside from shared genetics, you know ( ... )

logan_echolls December 11 2005, 02:21:07 UTC

The fact that we're together has absolutely nothing to do with them. No, it did. It meant something ran in the family or that we were just inevitable to pick up our parents mistakes. Which was exactly what we wanted to prove wrong most of all in this moment. She kisses me, touches my cheek with affection and I can still feel him burning - like this monster inside of me that wants to rip itself out.

It doesn't mean that I'm not capable, Veronica. I guess that's really one of those thinks people are always afraid of. They live their life in fear that they're going to become the one thing that they hate. They do everything to prevent it and then one day they turn around and realize that they've been that person all along ( ... )

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