Funerals
Well, it's back to Louisiana. We got a phone call this morning that my grandfather died. The funeral will presumably be Friday or Saturday, don't know yet since he just passed away this morning. I don't know what unnerves me more, the fact that he's dead, or the fact that I don't really feel upset that he's dead. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I didn't like my grandfather, nor that I wanted him dead, just that we weren't terribly close. Most of my memories of him are from when I was eleven or younger, and even those are few since he was distant from most of the grandchildren. A similar episode occurred with my great grandmother and my uncle. My uncle died when I was three, and I barely even knew what death was. I remember arguing that he wasn't dead when my parents told me. My great grandmother, I wish I'd gotten a chance to know her because she sounds like quite a character, like a woman I would have really liked, but I just couldn't cry at her funeral because I hadn't really known her to begin with, so I didn't really feel like I was losing anything. I felt for everyone else who was so distraught over her passing, but I just didn't feel that upset myself, given that I hadn't even really known her that well to begin with. Similar situation here. I attend the funeral out of respect, and because it will help my mother cope, but I dread the awkwardness of the whole ordeal.