Childless Women are Evil?
Lupabitch posted this in her journal a little over a week or so ago. I posted a comment in her journal, but I was also moved to write in more detail in my own journal, it just took me awhile to get around to it. So here it is, the article I'm responding to.
She opens up with saying that she doesn't understand the choice of a sane and healthy woman to not have children. This comment rules out women who can't physically have children. I don't know to what extent she views "sane" as part of the equation, however. Since depression, anxiety and the like or so common, I'll assume for the purposes of this response that she's referring to women dealing with more severe issues such as personality disorders, schizophrenia, etc.
The article really ticks me off for several reasons. The first, which is further exemplified in the little cartoon she included, is her assumption that a woman who doesn't have children lives a wanton life of partying and late-night social life, presumably with booze and/or drugs. The exact way she puts it is "It's not the mothers, for a start, who are going to turn up late and hungover after a night on the razz; they'll have been up, dressed and alert for hours, having cooked a family breakfast and delivered their children to school. On time."
I would love for someone to tell me how not having children automatically makes a woman a party animal who crawls into work with a hangover every morning, or at least after weekends. I personally do not have any children, and I only rarely go to clubs or parties. I rarely even drink. I usually don't stay out late when I have work the next day. While I do naturally tend to stay up a little late watching movies or on the internet, that staying up late extremely rarely involves drinking, and I don't partake of illegal drugs. There are also plenty of women with children who DO party and go to clubs and stuff...though the responsible ones will hire a babysitter or convince an unwitting relative to look after said children while they do so.
Another reason deals with the comment, "Yet if she says she hasn't a shred of maternal feeling in her, moreover, if she says she would prefer to concentrate on her career and that a child would only get in the way of it, then my head might acknowledge her right to do so. But my heart whispers: Lady, you're weird." My only response to that is not every woman chooses not to have children due to a desire for a job or a career. If a woman truly wanted children, she could still have children and a career. It would certainly be much more difficult, but it is do-able. Then there's the "lacking essential humanity" if you don't have children comment. I guess Mother Theresa had no humanity.
Another comment, "It's not the mothers, usually, who run the office bitch-fest." brings to mind that it was the soccer moms who were the bitchiest, most difficult customers at all of my retail jobs, and as far as "competing for the attention of male executives," I firmly refuse to date anyone I work with. I usually don't have to firmly refuse, since most of the men I've worked with haven't been my type anyway. Even if they were, I prefer to avoid the drama and difficulty that would inevitably come from working with someone I'm that emotionally involved with.
She also makes the argument that women with children have better work ethic. I have no children and I have been praised on my work ethic at every job I've held. I generally arrive on time to work every day. I am always working when on the clock. I've statistically had a very good attendance rate for most of the jobs I've had, and most people think I'm very sweet, very friendly.
Also, there are some ways in which having children can be selfish. Some would see it as ego gratification. Caring about passing on your own genes more than caring for or helping other people. Contributing further to overpopulation of the planet. Potentially bringing a child into a bad family life. Some women might selflessly refuse to have children due to a strong likelihood of genetic illness. This article also says nothing of the women who want children, but late into their lives still can't find a parter with which to have and raise those children. The women who know they don't have what it takes to be a good mother. The women who don't feel they have the skills necessary to have children. The women who think that being a woman is something more than just what we can do with a uterus and a sperm-donor. There is also nothing of men in this article. I have to wonder if she would judge men with the same scrutiny if they refused to have children. If she doesn't view the childless men in a negative light, that makes her not only misguided and judgmental, but sexist as well.
She opens up with saying that she doesn't understand the choice of a sane and healthy woman to not have children. This comment rules out women who can't physically have children. I don't know to what extent she views "sane" as part of the equation, however. Since depression, anxiety and the like or so common, I'll assume for the purposes of this response that she's referring to women dealing with more severe issues such as personality disorders, schizophrenia, etc.
The article really ticks me off for several reasons. The first, which is further exemplified in the little cartoon she included, is her assumption that a woman who doesn't have children lives a wanton life of partying and late-night social life, presumably with booze and/or drugs. The exact way she puts it is "It's not the mothers, for a start, who are going to turn up late and hungover after a night on the razz; they'll have been up, dressed and alert for hours, having cooked a family breakfast and delivered their children to school. On time."
I would love for someone to tell me how not having children automatically makes a woman a party animal who crawls into work with a hangover every morning, or at least after weekends. I personally do not have any children, and I only rarely go to clubs or parties. I rarely even drink. I usually don't stay out late when I have work the next day. While I do naturally tend to stay up a little late watching movies or on the internet, that staying up late extremely rarely involves drinking, and I don't partake of illegal drugs. There are also plenty of women with children who DO party and go to clubs and stuff...though the responsible ones will hire a babysitter or convince an unwitting relative to look after said children while they do so.
Another reason deals with the comment, "Yet if she says she hasn't a shred of maternal feeling in her, moreover, if she says she would prefer to concentrate on her career and that a child would only get in the way of it, then my head might acknowledge her right to do so. But my heart whispers: Lady, you're weird." My only response to that is not every woman chooses not to have children due to a desire for a job or a career. If a woman truly wanted children, she could still have children and a career. It would certainly be much more difficult, but it is do-able. Then there's the "lacking essential humanity" if you don't have children comment. I guess Mother Theresa had no humanity.
Another comment, "It's not the mothers, usually, who run the office bitch-fest." brings to mind that it was the soccer moms who were the bitchiest, most difficult customers at all of my retail jobs, and as far as "competing for the attention of male executives," I firmly refuse to date anyone I work with. I usually don't have to firmly refuse, since most of the men I've worked with haven't been my type anyway. Even if they were, I prefer to avoid the drama and difficulty that would inevitably come from working with someone I'm that emotionally involved with.
She also makes the argument that women with children have better work ethic. I have no children and I have been praised on my work ethic at every job I've held. I generally arrive on time to work every day. I am always working when on the clock. I've statistically had a very good attendance rate for most of the jobs I've had, and most people think I'm very sweet, very friendly.
Also, there are some ways in which having children can be selfish. Some would see it as ego gratification. Caring about passing on your own genes more than caring for or helping other people. Contributing further to overpopulation of the planet. Potentially bringing a child into a bad family life. Some women might selflessly refuse to have children due to a strong likelihood of genetic illness. This article also says nothing of the women who want children, but late into their lives still can't find a parter with which to have and raise those children. The women who know they don't have what it takes to be a good mother. The women who don't feel they have the skills necessary to have children. The women who think that being a woman is something more than just what we can do with a uterus and a sperm-donor. There is also nothing of men in this article. I have to wonder if she would judge men with the same scrutiny if they refused to have children. If she doesn't view the childless men in a negative light, that makes her not only misguided and judgmental, but sexist as well.