sometimes all you need is coffe&& cigaretts
Its not even 10am and these kids are driving me nuts. its a never ending battle with them. these kids have completely changed my life. I always thought kids would be easy..pshh yeah right. I dunno why i ever thought that. maybe it was cause i used to babysit all the time. i could give them back hahaha. Its hard though because Im not there mom. And Im pretty fucking sure that when they go to her house, she says things.I already know she doesnt want me "raising" her kids. But I'm not the one who walked away from them and dumped them at her parents house. Im not the one who chose partying and getting fucked over her kids. Im not the one poisoning these kids minds that their fathers a bad person. And that goes for her parents too fucking assholes. I'm not the one who tried giving up custody to her parents because she couldnt" handle" her children. If you cant handle it why even bother having them in the first place?? I'm not the one who has put him in jail numerous amounts of times just so her parents could get what they wanted. Just because she found out he was dating another person.
But anyways one day i'll get to tell her what the fuck is good aand how i feel. Im so tired of always being the bigger person. And people basically dictating on how i handle situations. One day matt isnt gonna be able to stop me. Ive told him that a million times, but yet again i have to because if i dont he could possibly loose them. Which he could when the divorce finally happens. And in a way i wouldnt care for me personally if the kids werent here like they are. I have my reasons, but for matt and his sanity i do. Recently Dominc told his mom that i hit him. And of course that turned into a shit load of drama. Jessica was calling matt flipping out him, him flipping out on her. it was horrible, and to top it all off her parents called 911 when nothing was going on. so the cops came, and they were just about to leave and dominc ran out side and told the police officers that i hit him. and jessica"tried' to stop him. Wich is a load of bullshit. he sat there in front of me and looked me in the face and said that i hit. then told the police officers repeatedly that i did. I honestly thought i was going to get arrested for something that i didnt do. I would never put my hands on anyones kids no matter how pisst off i got. i would have done it the day he smacked me across the face if i was going to. Dominic knew that he was just mad at me because i took away his video games. Im not as soft as matt n jessica. Thank god for his sister. shes always around me all the time. And on top of that Im a grown ass woman if i would have hit him he would have had a bruise. which he has this skin condition that he bruises at a flick.
He eventually apologized about it the day after was crying and saying how sorry he was. but honestly i dont believe it, and still dont. He just wanted to go to chucky cheese which he didn't because the day that we were supposed to go he was actin like an ass trying to get me to hit him and all this shit. One day he hates me the next he doesnt. i dont think ill ever be able to trust him. Im afraid that he'll do it again if i take something away. and dude this shit came out of the blue everything was fine, had an awesome weekend,had an okay week. but at the same time i refuse to let an 8 year old punk me and thinking he has control. madelnys a whole different story. she tells her mom that im mean to her and what jessica doesnt realize im not and i repeat not going to let these kids walk all over me. i fucking refuse to do it. if they would just listen to me, things would be fine like they are now kinda. life would be so much easier but they are kids. and they arent going to listen. Im not mean, well i can be. but i give those kids so many chances and after a short time i get frustrated n pisst off. i dont give into the tears or the im gonna tell mommy bullshit.
Im not afraid of her, she prolly could kick my ass but i wont back down from anyone. But anyways sometimes i have no idea what im going to do with them. i finally get somewhere with them then BAM they go to their moms and i have to start all over again. its fucking bullshit but yeah im gonna go. my whole point of this entry was to bitch but of course i always explain everything lmfao
Ashleigh
But anyways one day i'll get to tell her what the fuck is good aand how i feel. Im so tired of always being the bigger person. And people basically dictating on how i handle situations. One day matt isnt gonna be able to stop me. Ive told him that a million times, but yet again i have to because if i dont he could possibly loose them. Which he could when the divorce finally happens. And in a way i wouldnt care for me personally if the kids werent here like they are. I have my reasons, but for matt and his sanity i do. Recently Dominc told his mom that i hit him. And of course that turned into a shit load of drama. Jessica was calling matt flipping out him, him flipping out on her. it was horrible, and to top it all off her parents called 911 when nothing was going on. so the cops came, and they were just about to leave and dominc ran out side and told the police officers that i hit him. and jessica"tried' to stop him. Wich is a load of bullshit. he sat there in front of me and looked me in the face and said that i hit. then told the police officers repeatedly that i did. I honestly thought i was going to get arrested for something that i didnt do. I would never put my hands on anyones kids no matter how pisst off i got. i would have done it the day he smacked me across the face if i was going to. Dominic knew that he was just mad at me because i took away his video games. Im not as soft as matt n jessica. Thank god for his sister. shes always around me all the time. And on top of that Im a grown ass woman if i would have hit him he would have had a bruise. which he has this skin condition that he bruises at a flick.
He eventually apologized about it the day after was crying and saying how sorry he was. but honestly i dont believe it, and still dont. He just wanted to go to chucky cheese which he didn't because the day that we were supposed to go he was actin like an ass trying to get me to hit him and all this shit. One day he hates me the next he doesnt. i dont think ill ever be able to trust him. Im afraid that he'll do it again if i take something away. and dude this shit came out of the blue everything was fine, had an awesome weekend,had an okay week. but at the same time i refuse to let an 8 year old punk me and thinking he has control. madelnys a whole different story. she tells her mom that im mean to her and what jessica doesnt realize im not and i repeat not going to let these kids walk all over me. i fucking refuse to do it. if they would just listen to me, things would be fine like they are now kinda. life would be so much easier but they are kids. and they arent going to listen. Im not mean, well i can be. but i give those kids so many chances and after a short time i get frustrated n pisst off. i dont give into the tears or the im gonna tell mommy bullshit.
Im not afraid of her, she prolly could kick my ass but i wont back down from anyone. But anyways sometimes i have no idea what im going to do with them. i finally get somewhere with them then BAM they go to their moms and i have to start all over again. its fucking bullshit but yeah im gonna go. my whole point of this entry was to bitch but of course i always explain everything lmfao
Ashleigh