hello, its 2011:)
Hello journal:) its been too long:)
For some reason every few years i decied to write in this. I went back as far as i could to read some of the past entrys. I cant beilive some of the shit i wrote about. all the surveys i took, the quizzes, the fucking drama lmao. How fucking boy crazy i was, and how many friends were friends one day, and the next my all time enimes. Im actaully afraid to read the rest of them. But in a way they are my memories, some of the stuff i didnt want to remember or completly forgot about. A lot of things have changed, and some stuff remains. Its intresting to read about them and see how I have changed.
Lets see where should i begin? Im going to start from 2005-2009, because the entrys were speradic. I dont really remember those years. My life was full of drugs, drinking, countless nights of drama boyfriends, friends, endless jobs, dead end jobs. I dropped out of highschool in 2006. I went back worked full time did day and night school and graduated with my little brother in 2007. I went AA & Na for a long time. but it never mattered because i was still drinking and doing drugs. i think the only reason why i did it, was to make my dad happy. moved in and out of my dads house, living in rooming houses with crack heads, hotles ect ect Got arrested in 2006, couple of friends have died. My life was crazy, i was on a one way ticket to either being in jail, or dead. Which at couple of points i almost did.you would think after the frist time where i almost did, i would but i didnt till the 2nd time. i stopped breathing for 3 minutes because someone had laced the weed i was smoking. apparently it wasnt my time to go. That was one of the many wake up calls i had. After a while i stopped everything, and then my life was a hault. i was tired of doing the same thing, dating the same people, drinking all the time, tired of all of it. So i decied to put all my effort into work. Mcdonalds was the job where i put everything i had into it. i was a shift manager for 2 years, and a crew memeber for a year.was engaged, that ended before it could go any further thank god and moved back to my dads house and that brings me to the year 2009.
I was done with realtionships, and i was single for a whole year. i dated but was never serious about anyone. i never had the time to because i was always working. In the last entry i had stated that i was going to move to Ireland. And there was another part for florida and at one point it was canada. obviously none of the above has happened. Im still in the states. in 2009 i was still living at my dads house, refusing to ever move out and to just be alone. 2010 is where my life completly changed. i decied that at that point i was ready to be with someone. he was and still is to this day the biggest jerkoff i know. it didnt last long of course and yet again i said i was done with men. see my whole life ive been saying that. fuck this fuck that dude im all done im gonan be the crazy lady with 13 cats hahaha. And i was for a short period of time. And then I met Matt.
I met him by accident actually. I was on myyearbook.com and came across his profile. I did the whole online thing, now i wasnt all about meeting people. ive only met two people online and one i just talked to on the phone. Because let me tell you there are a lot of creeps in this world. and usually i find out within the frist 5 mintues if they are. but anyways not the point. I added him i think or he did i dont remember. but i told my self that i was straight and i was for a while. we started talking one thing lead to another bada bing bada boom i gave him my number. for a while we were just friends. he wasnt creepy and thats all i wanted was friends and no creepy. but of course more things lead to another and ive been with him since 4/11/10 and still going. he is the best thing to ever happened to me he means more to me then the world or anyobdy in it. we all have our moments of course but i still love him. i live with him and his two kids who i take care of. but the kids is a whole different story. trust me its a fucking roller coaster, and it has its ups and downs lol.
im not looking foward to this conversation tonight. i know its random but i dunno what to do haha. and usually i do.
but thats my life in a nut shell.
ashleigh
For some reason every few years i decied to write in this. I went back as far as i could to read some of the past entrys. I cant beilive some of the shit i wrote about. all the surveys i took, the quizzes, the fucking drama lmao. How fucking boy crazy i was, and how many friends were friends one day, and the next my all time enimes. Im actaully afraid to read the rest of them. But in a way they are my memories, some of the stuff i didnt want to remember or completly forgot about. A lot of things have changed, and some stuff remains. Its intresting to read about them and see how I have changed.
Lets see where should i begin? Im going to start from 2005-2009, because the entrys were speradic. I dont really remember those years. My life was full of drugs, drinking, countless nights of drama boyfriends, friends, endless jobs, dead end jobs. I dropped out of highschool in 2006. I went back worked full time did day and night school and graduated with my little brother in 2007. I went AA & Na for a long time. but it never mattered because i was still drinking and doing drugs. i think the only reason why i did it, was to make my dad happy. moved in and out of my dads house, living in rooming houses with crack heads, hotles ect ect Got arrested in 2006, couple of friends have died. My life was crazy, i was on a one way ticket to either being in jail, or dead. Which at couple of points i almost did.you would think after the frist time where i almost did, i would but i didnt till the 2nd time. i stopped breathing for 3 minutes because someone had laced the weed i was smoking. apparently it wasnt my time to go. That was one of the many wake up calls i had. After a while i stopped everything, and then my life was a hault. i was tired of doing the same thing, dating the same people, drinking all the time, tired of all of it. So i decied to put all my effort into work. Mcdonalds was the job where i put everything i had into it. i was a shift manager for 2 years, and a crew memeber for a year.was engaged, that ended before it could go any further thank god and moved back to my dads house and that brings me to the year 2009.
I was done with realtionships, and i was single for a whole year. i dated but was never serious about anyone. i never had the time to because i was always working. In the last entry i had stated that i was going to move to Ireland. And there was another part for florida and at one point it was canada. obviously none of the above has happened. Im still in the states. in 2009 i was still living at my dads house, refusing to ever move out and to just be alone. 2010 is where my life completly changed. i decied that at that point i was ready to be with someone. he was and still is to this day the biggest jerkoff i know. it didnt last long of course and yet again i said i was done with men. see my whole life ive been saying that. fuck this fuck that dude im all done im gonan be the crazy lady with 13 cats hahaha. And i was for a short period of time. And then I met Matt.
I met him by accident actually. I was on myyearbook.com and came across his profile. I did the whole online thing, now i wasnt all about meeting people. ive only met two people online and one i just talked to on the phone. Because let me tell you there are a lot of creeps in this world. and usually i find out within the frist 5 mintues if they are. but anyways not the point. I added him i think or he did i dont remember. but i told my self that i was straight and i was for a while. we started talking one thing lead to another bada bing bada boom i gave him my number. for a while we were just friends. he wasnt creepy and thats all i wanted was friends and no creepy. but of course more things lead to another and ive been with him since 4/11/10 and still going. he is the best thing to ever happened to me he means more to me then the world or anyobdy in it. we all have our moments of course but i still love him. i live with him and his two kids who i take care of. but the kids is a whole different story. trust me its a fucking roller coaster, and it has its ups and downs lol.
im not looking foward to this conversation tonight. i know its random but i dunno what to do haha. and usually i do.
but thats my life in a nut shell.
ashleigh