ten weeks is going to be a long time

[canadino]

I really miss my friends who are abroad. It's not a soul-crushing, angst-ridden kind of missing but it's acute and daily enough for me to really notice their absence in my life. I have people I am spending time with and killing the time with and talking to and I would probably tell my friends the same things I tell the people I have here but…it's just different. Them not being physically here is something I can work around but it's really hard not to be able to text them and keep up with them and tell them about things and stuff. It's just not something I can do online because some of it just happens in the moment and I just want to tell them and see their reactions and have some semblance of things being normal. One way I've put it is that it's like watching a movie but the sound and the action is a little off so you spend the whole movie feeling uncomfortable. These are the people I've been with on a pretty regular basis with for three years and just…everyone else here just isn't as close to me as they are, so I'm a little bummed out.

Interestingly enough, the other roommate who is moving out and has gotten into some tense bits with me who also was close to one of the friends abroad (another roommate) is chatting with me a little more and having her presence in the apartment as someone on my side (M and I were basically the ones who lounged together basically most of the time we were both home) is comforting somewhat.

I want my friends to have fun though and explore and experience new things but at the same time I feel a little comforted when they remember to talk to me. I'm a plant who needs attention to survive.

It's only the first week of the quarter but nine more weeks of this kind of static melancholy is going to be a challenge.