Nanny
I often find myself thinking about my grandmother. I'm amazing by the face that shes been alive since 1913 and has only started loosing herself to dementia this year. I don't know if I would ever want to live to be 100 seeing all the things shes had to go through, all of the pain shes had to experience. To be honest her resilience is what has always amazed me. Shes lost a son, a husband and a countless number of friends, but for some reason she stayed healthy. Its not as if she took care of herself all these years and took vitamins all the time, she just for some reason kept going. I think the routine made her live so long, her day was structured and rarely went outside of the same routine for the last 25 years.
As a child she kind of scared me. Her Newfoundland accent was so thick that until the age of maybe 11 I didn't understand a word she said. That and she was a no nonsense no bullshit kind of lady. I think that part of her made her love my brother and I; we didnt run around her house we didnt make a fuss we just sat there on the couch watching the news with her. My other younger family members would run around screaming and shouting and pour their toys all over her "nice" shag carpeting. I never treated her like she was super old like so many others, i just treated her like another person. I didn't talk excessively loud and simple because I knew that she was completely fine and coherent. I don't think shes ever like my mom because she treated her like someone who was fragile old and helpless. No that her mind is going, she strangely has a view of me as a friend and someone who understands her. Even when shes mean and belligerence now to everyone she'll look passed everyone else and say "hi buddy" as if she still knows me; as if I'm some old friend from her past.
It's hard. We had to put her in a home, really its the only safe place for her. She has fallen down, had heart attacks alone and as a loving family we did what was right. Shes out of it tho, she thinks shes in Newfoundland and that her old dead friends come and visit her. She gets mad at my family, she tells my dad that hes a horrible person for leaving her there. For taking her away from her house. But to be honest if we took her back there she would just say "This isn't my house take me home!".
I hope she can go peacefully soon, I hate seeing her suffer like this. I know that she wouldnt have wanted to live like this. She had wanted to die for over a decade, but something kept her living. I just want her soul to be at peace finally.
As a child she kind of scared me. Her Newfoundland accent was so thick that until the age of maybe 11 I didn't understand a word she said. That and she was a no nonsense no bullshit kind of lady. I think that part of her made her love my brother and I; we didnt run around her house we didnt make a fuss we just sat there on the couch watching the news with her. My other younger family members would run around screaming and shouting and pour their toys all over her "nice" shag carpeting. I never treated her like she was super old like so many others, i just treated her like another person. I didn't talk excessively loud and simple because I knew that she was completely fine and coherent. I don't think shes ever like my mom because she treated her like someone who was fragile old and helpless. No that her mind is going, she strangely has a view of me as a friend and someone who understands her. Even when shes mean and belligerence now to everyone she'll look passed everyone else and say "hi buddy" as if she still knows me; as if I'm some old friend from her past.
It's hard. We had to put her in a home, really its the only safe place for her. She has fallen down, had heart attacks alone and as a loving family we did what was right. Shes out of it tho, she thinks shes in Newfoundland and that her old dead friends come and visit her. She gets mad at my family, she tells my dad that hes a horrible person for leaving her there. For taking her away from her house. But to be honest if we took her back there she would just say "This isn't my house take me home!".
I hope she can go peacefully soon, I hate seeing her suffer like this. I know that she wouldnt have wanted to live like this. She had wanted to die for over a decade, but something kept her living. I just want her soul to be at peace finally.