All In A Year
So this past year has really been one of the hardest of my life. But I made it out alive now and I'm feel so much better about myself. It all started last April when school ended. Now we were all very excited and it was cool that the last day of exams landed right on my Birthday. This though gave birth to a snowball effect of shit. On the last day of exams, everyone in the course decided to go down to a bar just down the street and have a little party. Now, this is one very sketchy area; near Jane and Finch. Halfway through the night I notice my bag is gone. Turns out it was stolen along with my Bose headphones, my laptop, my USB drives (containing the hundreds of hours of school work that I foolishly didn't back up) and a few other things. This sucked ass and I ended up leaving early and not saying goodbye to some classmates I would never see again.
For a month or some into the summer things were going relatively okay. I had an internship, a little student loan money saved up and things with me and Mishelle seemed well. This didn't last very long though. The internship finished, and they could not hire me because of the cheap-ass station owner. I then learned after a long struggle with the school that my internship papers had been lost. I kept applying for work in my field but it seemed like there was nothing there for me. This went on for a few months without success and draining the rest of my loans.
I then changed to survival mode and decided to just work wherever I could. I thought this would be easy, what with all of my experience and all. I was wrong. Interview after interview and I just could not land a job. I would apply every day and after a while just became numb to it all. I became lazy, sad, depressed, unmotivated....I was so lost and scared. Until I found Jesus...lol just kidding. After a few months like this Mishelle couldn't take it anymore so she left. Things got worse for a few months. Id drink a lot, stay up all night not being able to sleep, worry constantly about money. I gained more weight. My Grandmother was put in a home and my aunt became very sick with cancer which made everything even worse. Shit was getting hard until one day I couldnt take it anymore. I was just done with being sad and worried all day about things I can't control right now. So I gave up being sad.
I decided to embrace myself and engage myself back into things I loved that didn't cost anything. Drumming, guitar and writing became my focus and I stopped giving a fuck about money. After a little while I got a call about a little work in January and for a month I had a job that gave me a decent little pay cheque to keep the wolfs at bay. I also reignited my working spirit. Things started improving and Mishelle wanted to talk things through. We're back together without a title and I'm very happy with her. We both just seem a lot more peaceful and fun with each other now. Now finally things are looking pretty good. Landed a shit part time job, which I was able to quit a few days ago as a Full-Time offer from another place just came in. All of those things that weighed so heavy on me are now disappearing and I can focus on the positive aspects of my future again. I feel, almost reborn. Excited for what's next. And after going through a year of shit, I feel much stronger.
For a month or some into the summer things were going relatively okay. I had an internship, a little student loan money saved up and things with me and Mishelle seemed well. This didn't last very long though. The internship finished, and they could not hire me because of the cheap-ass station owner. I then learned after a long struggle with the school that my internship papers had been lost. I kept applying for work in my field but it seemed like there was nothing there for me. This went on for a few months without success and draining the rest of my loans.
I then changed to survival mode and decided to just work wherever I could. I thought this would be easy, what with all of my experience and all. I was wrong. Interview after interview and I just could not land a job. I would apply every day and after a while just became numb to it all. I became lazy, sad, depressed, unmotivated....I was so lost and scared. Until I found Jesus...lol just kidding. After a few months like this Mishelle couldn't take it anymore so she left. Things got worse for a few months. Id drink a lot, stay up all night not being able to sleep, worry constantly about money. I gained more weight. My Grandmother was put in a home and my aunt became very sick with cancer which made everything even worse. Shit was getting hard until one day I couldnt take it anymore. I was just done with being sad and worried all day about things I can't control right now. So I gave up being sad.
I decided to embrace myself and engage myself back into things I loved that didn't cost anything. Drumming, guitar and writing became my focus and I stopped giving a fuck about money. After a little while I got a call about a little work in January and for a month I had a job that gave me a decent little pay cheque to keep the wolfs at bay. I also reignited my working spirit. Things started improving and Mishelle wanted to talk things through. We're back together without a title and I'm very happy with her. We both just seem a lot more peaceful and fun with each other now. Now finally things are looking pretty good. Landed a shit part time job, which I was able to quit a few days ago as a Full-Time offer from another place just came in. All of those things that weighed so heavy on me are now disappearing and I can focus on the positive aspects of my future again. I feel, almost reborn. Excited for what's next. And after going through a year of shit, I feel much stronger.