Cigarettes can suck onma ballsack
For 6 years I had been smoking cigarettes. My brand was John Players Standard Regulars; and I'm happy to say I never want to have one of those fuckers again.
On my 19th birthday I was experiencing the depression associated with not knowing my lifes direction. I didnt know who I wanted to be and everything seemed to be sitting on my shoulders. I was working at Sears on my 19th birthday and decided to take advantage of my newfound "adulthood" and buy a pack of cigarettes, which i learned over the years was a giant fucking mistake. It started innocent enough, id smoke maybe 3 a day and didnt feel i was doing anything wrong and could drop them any time I wanted. But when college started for me thats when things changed. I was using cigarettes to meet people, to have an excuse to be outside and feel less awkward. This is when I started going through almost half a pack a day. As time went on I got a girlfriend and she was fine with me smoking, for a while.
She got annoyed at the smell, the taste when she kissed me, pissed that she had to wait outside in the cold before we could enter a store or a movie theater. So I would try to quit (which never lasted long) I would lie and hide it. I spent probably over $2000 just in food and drinks to cover up the smell of cigarettes in my mouth so i wouldnt get caught. After a while my girlfriend got more and more fed up and threatened to leave me if I couldnt get my shit together and stop something that was killing me. My lungs felt heavy, I was sluggish, I couldnt exercise without becoming so short of breath i felt like passing out, in the morning I would feel horrible, I was wasting a LOT OF MONEY, my family was pissed at me and my close friends (none of whom smoke) were getting annoyed too.
The clincher was about a year ago, when my Grandmother passed away from COPD brought on by 40 years of smoking cigarettes. She hadnt smoked for about 10 years when she died, but they had done their damage already. As a kid my memory of my grandparents were always them out in their sun room sitting across from eachother with an ashtray in the middle that always had a lit cigarette sitting on it. From that I always associated the smell of cigarettes with good memories of sitting with my grandparents.
I loved my grandmother more than anyone. Being a really sensitive kid she always stood up for me and sympathized with me and let me feel loved. She always kept interrested in the things i loved and would always have cool print-offs from the internet about UFO's and stuff like that to share with me. She would sit and play Sega with me; she was the best grandma i could have ever asked for. She never knew I picked up smoking, i never had the heart to tell her or Papa. Last year on August 11th, while having a nap she slipped off into the great unknown. On that day, after I got the phone call I went for a walk and smoked about 3 cigarettes and promised that within the year I would quit, and that in her honor I would get my two college diplomas.
I continued through most of the year smoking a lot, especially with the stress of final assignments and exams. Over the year I had been looking into the electronic cigarettes I would find on U.S. websites and wanted one badly. When they started selling them in Canada I was excited, but was annoyed when I learned that it was ILLEGAL to sell them with nicotine in Canada. So I continued smoking. Then, one day I walked into my local scummy convenience store and upon seeing some shady illegal looking stuff every time I went in asked if they had any disposable e-cigarettes with nicotine in them. And BAM they did. I tried it and could feel the nicotine. I was turned on to it but was still smoking cigarettes during my every day routine.
This continued until I learned about vapeing. Which is essentially an e-cigarette that you can modify, customize and fill yourself with nicotine liquid with your own desired strengths. I then found a vape kit at that same convenience store and upon using it for the afternoon i threw out my cigarettes dramatically and havent smoked since. It's been over 2 months now and I feel better than I have in 6 years. Everything about my body, my mind, my feelings about myself have improved dramatically. I can breather properly, i can exercise for longer periods of time, my girlfriend is so happy and proud of me, my family is happy for me and my friends think its damn cool. And the best part of all of it, i kept up my end of the deal with my grandma. I'm sure if she is looking down on me, she is so so proud. I will never ever, ever, smoke again. I have found my way out.
On my 19th birthday I was experiencing the depression associated with not knowing my lifes direction. I didnt know who I wanted to be and everything seemed to be sitting on my shoulders. I was working at Sears on my 19th birthday and decided to take advantage of my newfound "adulthood" and buy a pack of cigarettes, which i learned over the years was a giant fucking mistake. It started innocent enough, id smoke maybe 3 a day and didnt feel i was doing anything wrong and could drop them any time I wanted. But when college started for me thats when things changed. I was using cigarettes to meet people, to have an excuse to be outside and feel less awkward. This is when I started going through almost half a pack a day. As time went on I got a girlfriend and she was fine with me smoking, for a while.
She got annoyed at the smell, the taste when she kissed me, pissed that she had to wait outside in the cold before we could enter a store or a movie theater. So I would try to quit (which never lasted long) I would lie and hide it. I spent probably over $2000 just in food and drinks to cover up the smell of cigarettes in my mouth so i wouldnt get caught. After a while my girlfriend got more and more fed up and threatened to leave me if I couldnt get my shit together and stop something that was killing me. My lungs felt heavy, I was sluggish, I couldnt exercise without becoming so short of breath i felt like passing out, in the morning I would feel horrible, I was wasting a LOT OF MONEY, my family was pissed at me and my close friends (none of whom smoke) were getting annoyed too.
The clincher was about a year ago, when my Grandmother passed away from COPD brought on by 40 years of smoking cigarettes. She hadnt smoked for about 10 years when she died, but they had done their damage already. As a kid my memory of my grandparents were always them out in their sun room sitting across from eachother with an ashtray in the middle that always had a lit cigarette sitting on it. From that I always associated the smell of cigarettes with good memories of sitting with my grandparents.
I loved my grandmother more than anyone. Being a really sensitive kid she always stood up for me and sympathized with me and let me feel loved. She always kept interrested in the things i loved and would always have cool print-offs from the internet about UFO's and stuff like that to share with me. She would sit and play Sega with me; she was the best grandma i could have ever asked for. She never knew I picked up smoking, i never had the heart to tell her or Papa. Last year on August 11th, while having a nap she slipped off into the great unknown. On that day, after I got the phone call I went for a walk and smoked about 3 cigarettes and promised that within the year I would quit, and that in her honor I would get my two college diplomas.
I continued through most of the year smoking a lot, especially with the stress of final assignments and exams. Over the year I had been looking into the electronic cigarettes I would find on U.S. websites and wanted one badly. When they started selling them in Canada I was excited, but was annoyed when I learned that it was ILLEGAL to sell them with nicotine in Canada. So I continued smoking. Then, one day I walked into my local scummy convenience store and upon seeing some shady illegal looking stuff every time I went in asked if they had any disposable e-cigarettes with nicotine in them. And BAM they did. I tried it and could feel the nicotine. I was turned on to it but was still smoking cigarettes during my every day routine.
This continued until I learned about vapeing. Which is essentially an e-cigarette that you can modify, customize and fill yourself with nicotine liquid with your own desired strengths. I then found a vape kit at that same convenience store and upon using it for the afternoon i threw out my cigarettes dramatically and havent smoked since. It's been over 2 months now and I feel better than I have in 6 years. Everything about my body, my mind, my feelings about myself have improved dramatically. I can breather properly, i can exercise for longer periods of time, my girlfriend is so happy and proud of me, my family is happy for me and my friends think its damn cool. And the best part of all of it, i kept up my end of the deal with my grandma. I'm sure if she is looking down on me, she is so so proud. I will never ever, ever, smoke again. I have found my way out.