NINJA WARRIOR!1!!one!

[ortwinkieup]

[Today in Camp Fuck You Die, on a shallow slope of the volcano, is a four-stage obstacle course built above water, in which there are things... moving. But don't focus on that! This. Is. NINJA WARRIOR. Tests of strength! Endurance! Speed! Skill! Do you dare approach? Or perhaps you're one of the poor contestants trapped in a pen behind the starting

Comments

THE PLATFORM

[ortwinkieup]

...who are you guys anyway?

Re: THE PLATFORM

[futureseeing]

I'm-- Morgana. What is happening?

Re: THE PLATFORM

[ortwinkieup]

Fuck if I know. I'm just the announcer.

Re: THE PLATFORM

[futureseeing]

... You don't know what you're announcing?

Arthur Pendragon, Stage One.

[ortwinkieup]

[clears his throat and reads off a card]

First up! Arthur Pendragon, clown -- sorry, crown prince of Camelot. Good at... oh you're shitting me, no one's good at everything. But according to this he's aces with a sword, a lance, a mace, a crossbow, and a quarterstaff. He can scale rock walls, and gets hit over the head a lot. Wish him luck, he looks sort of scrawny to me.

[Arthur finds himself on the platform in Merlin's attending uniform, complete with dorky hat.]

[praticaldestiny]

. . . What exactly is going on here.

[ortwinkieup]

It's an obstacle course. Nice hat.

[praticaldestiny]

These are servant's clothes. Even worse, I'm fairly certain they belong to Merlin.

[TAKING THE HAT OFF.]

Shinpachi, Stage One.

[ortwinkieup]

[There is a pair of glasses at the starting line. Just a pair of glasses.

Shimura Shinpachi is currently an employee of Odd Jobs Gin as Sakata Gintoki's apprentice. He's also the president of the Terakado Tsu fanclub. His dream is to restore his father's dojo.

...is what he would write, but he's just a pair of glasses. so instead, Tallahassee is reading:]

Haha, this one's realistic. Next up, Shinpachi works for Odd Jobs Gin, and consistently ranks 8th place in the popularity polls. His talent is being plain. A short introduction is fitting for Shinpachi, so we can move on to the more interesting people.

Aaaaaaand time! Go.

Re: Shinpachi, Stage One.

[shinpachishere]

[Oiiiii. what kind of introduction is that?! Who wrote that?! I sound like nothing more than a plain character. I DEMAND A DO OVER. More importantly, what am I even doing here? I can't complete in this sort of thing. I'm just a pair of glasses!

...is what I would say, but I'm just a pair of glasses.]

Re: Shinpachi, Stage One.

[splendad]

Shinpaaachiii! You can do it, despite your disadvantageous plain character! Go for the gold in the Beijing Olympics! Give it your best effort!

Re: Shinpachi, Stage One.

[marypoopins]

Goooo Shinpachi! You've been here for months and no one even knows you're here. Time to do something flashy before you ranking drops even lower!

Shuichi Shindou, Stage One.

[ortwinkieup]

Shuichi is a pop star with... okay I have no idea what he sounds like, but the card says 'an amazing voice, an amazing endurance for explosions and bullets.' He's also got decent speed thanks to all those times he ran away from fangirls.

.......fangirls? Uh huh. Let's hope some of them are in the stands today. Pretty boy's gonna need encouragement.

[ortwinkieup]

Neither did I. This chair is very uncomfortble.

Yzak Jule, Stage One.

[ortwinkieup]

[okay this one is getting read straight off the card because he thinks it's hilarious.]

Our next contender is Yzak Jule! A Coordinator commander of the ZAFT military on PLANT. All acronyms aside, as a Coordinator Yzak's strengths are basically "better than Naturals at about everything, except when it comes to one Coordinator named Athrun Zala who tops him relentlessly" due to enhanced physical and mental capabilities, so you bet we have a special course just for this little guy.

Yzak enjoys hobbies such as chess, piloting giant robots, screaming, folklore, hitting things and possibly raiding his mom's closet. As one hell of a foxy woman, we can vouch that Yzak's mom has great taste in clothes that all feminine looking soldiers would appreciate - as well as one fine ass. Considering we've pissed him off enough to give him the momentum for this course, let's begin.

...haha. Okay. On your mark, Commander.

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One.

[commander_bitch]

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF INTRODUCTION IS THAT?!

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One.

[ortwinkieup]

It was on the card, I didn't fuck with that one at all.

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One.

[commander_bitch]

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CARD?!