NINJA WARRIOR!1!!one!

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[Today in Camp Fuck You Die, on a shallow slope of the volcano, is a four-stage obstacle course built above water, in which there are things... moving. But don't focus on that! This. Is. NINJA WARRIOR. Tests of strength! Endurance! Speed! Skill! Do you dare approach? Or perhaps you're one of the poor contestants trapped in a pen behind the starting

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Shuichi Shindou, Stage One.

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Shuichi is a pop star with... okay I have no idea what he sounds like, but the card says 'an amazing voice, an amazing endurance for explosions and bullets.' He's also got decent speed thanks to all those times he ran away from fangirls.

.......fangirls? Uh huh. Let's hope some of them are in the stands today. Pretty boy's gonna need encouragement.

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Neither did I. This chair is very uncomfortble.

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I don't think it's that dangerous. But there are pirhanas in the water.

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Uh huh. I'm starting your timer. Three. Two.

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One! [starts it, you have 120 seconds]

Barrel Climb is his first obstacle. Try not to get steamrolled, spitfuck.

[there are a pyramid of freely rotating barrels for you to climb up and over]

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[so long as you haven't hit the water you can keep going!]

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....hey he made it. Go figure.

Curtain Slider is next. He's small enough this one shouldn't be too much of a problem. Get a running start, huh?

[there's a curtain, it looks like a shower curtain, on a long rod, suspended with loose rings. if you run and jump and grab it, you might be able to slide across the shark-infested pool below.]

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Uh.. is that part of the challenge?