Comments | campfuckudie: NINJA WARRIOR!1!!one!

ortwinkieup in campfuckudie

NINJA WARRIOR!1!!one!

Dec 27, 2009 19:05

[Today in Camp Fuck You Die, on a shallow slope of the volcano, is a four-stage obstacle course built above water, in which there are things... moving. But don't focus on that! This. Is. NINJA WARRIOR. Tests of strength! Endurance! Speed! Skill! Do you dare approach? Or perhaps you're one of the poor contestants trapped in a pen behind the starting ( Read more... )

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Yzak Jule, Stage One. ortwinkieup December 28 2009, 03:14:31 UTC

[okay this one is getting read straight off the card because he thinks it's hilarious.]

Our next contender is Yzak Jule! A Coordinator commander of the ZAFT military on PLANT. All acronyms aside, as a Coordinator Yzak's strengths are basically "better than Naturals at about everything, except when it comes to one Coordinator named Athrun Zala who tops him relentlessly" due to enhanced physical and mental capabilities, so you bet we have a special course just for this little guy.

Yzak enjoys hobbies such as chess, piloting giant robots, screaming, folklore, hitting things and possibly raiding his mom's closet. As one hell of a foxy woman, we can vouch that Yzak's mom has great taste in clothes that all feminine looking soldiers would appreciate - as well as one fine ass. Considering we've pissed him off enough to give him the momentum for this course, let's begin.

...haha. Okay. On your mark, Commander.

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. commander_bitch December 28 2009, 03:19:40 UTC

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF INTRODUCTION IS THAT?!

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. ortwinkieup December 28 2009, 03:20:29 UTC

It was on the card, I didn't fuck with that one at all.

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. commander_bitch December 28 2009, 03:59:21 UTC

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CARD?!

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. ortwinkieup December 28 2009, 04:01:45 UTC

It came with the job.

I'm starting your timer.

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. commander_bitch December 28 2009, 04:14:03 UTC

AUUUUGH!

[yeah so when the timer actually starts-- he's gonna be pushed into the start of it by a gorilla]

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. ortwinkieup December 28 2009, 04:15:38 UTC

[starts it!]

Alright, first obstacle is the Timbers again. Hop like a bunny.

[twelve logs are arranged at 45 degree angles, about three feet apart. you have to hop from one to the other quickly to keep from falling.]

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. commander_bitch December 28 2009, 04:20:24 UTC

Damn it--!!

[given there aren't that many other obstacles on top of what was explained, he probably has good enough balance and concentration to get across it with minimal problems after he collects himself]

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. ortwinkieup December 28 2009, 04:24:24 UTC

Not bad, Commander. Let's see how you handle Curtain Slider.

[it looks like a shower curtain made of netting, suspended on a long pole with loose rings. you can slide across to another platform.]

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. commander_bitch December 28 2009, 05:00:16 UTC

[WILL DO SO ... CAREFULLY]

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. ortwinkieup December 28 2009, 10:27:40 UTC

Yoooo, speed it up.

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. osoruosoruosoru December 28 2009, 03:21:19 UTC

*cheering on competitor while penned up in the competitors' pen*

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. commander_bitch December 28 2009, 03:59:47 UTC

--Mio?

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. osoruosoruosoru December 28 2009, 04:04:42 UTC

Hi! Um. I think we both got stuck in this.

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. commander_bitch December 28 2009, 04:14:24 UTC

What the hell is this even supposed to be?!

Re: Yzak Jule, Stage One. osoruosoruosoru December 28 2009, 04:15:52 UTC

It looks like a game show from my country....

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