Welcome back, Lord Il Palazzo and Excel! You're awesome, Lord Il Palazzo and Excel! Hooray ACROSS!

[latrine_orderly]

So do you guys want the good news or the bad news first? Why do people even ask that? There's usually a predetermined order you have to say these things in, and it may always work on television, but in real life, letting the delivery of your punchline rest upon the shoulders of a neutral party could really ruin the effect. Lead your attack force

Comments

[ilpacock]

*GLARE*

[latrine_orderly]

P-please don't look at me like that, L-Lord Il Palazzo. I didn't mean to tie you up like that. You were just. And I kinda. And. And. And.

...d-don't grow up to hate me.

[ilpacock]

Kidnapper. Pedophile. Filthy, ill-bred, sheep-herding, peasant. Release me immediately.

[latrine_orderly]

B-but then you'll just run away and all the dangerous things will be dangers to you and I couldn't bear it if you were hurt, Lord Il Palazzo, s-so please, you gotta believe me! It's me, Excel! I'll protect you, and... and look, here, I have pictures of you as an adult because we're both adults and... and... and... please, please, please don't grow up to hate me...

[master_of_mon]

AWESOME what's an idiom?

Glad you're both back and safe and sound! Kinda.

[latrine_orderly]

A method of better communicating with the common people!

K-kinda.

[master_of_mon]

...so it's like a cell phone!

Okay, not really kinda. But so what if your boss is a kid! Better than him being a anteater or somethin'.

[latrine_orderly]

Sure, why not?

I s'pose... but he doesn't remember me, Li'l Bro! Lord Il Palazzo doesn't remember me!

[hench_wench]

I'm good with kids!

[latrine_orderly]

Are you? Are you? Can you tell a kid that I'm not going to badtouch him and beat him and ransom him and slit his throat and leave him in a ditch?

[hench_wench]

I can tell him that, but would he believe me? That's the tricky part! . . . You wouldn't do that stuff, would you?

[latrine_orderly]

Of course not! He only thinks that because I tied him up, and I didn't mean to tie him up, it just kinda happened!

[blue_blunder]

I did not think of that as a cause, but perhaps the lack of respecable authority in this place is what drove me to become infatuated with the camp doctors to the degree I was.

Welcome back.

[latrine_orderly]

Yeah. Doctors. Of course. Why did I never make the connection?

Thanks.

[master_of_mon]

No idea what you're talkin' about, but there's plenty of respectable authority here!

Uh, if by that you mean cool adults, that is.

[blue_blunder]

I will say that there are more experienced adults around here than I had previously thought, and much more than back home.

I had never imagined that I would meet those in the military, especially ranked! I met a KING, Ash, have you met him?

Oh, while I remember, do you know one Takino Tomo?

[youllgoblind]

Heya Excel! ...You had a kid?

[latrine_orderly]

Only in the most strictly literal sense that I have recently OBTAINED a child, yes.

[youllgoblind]

--Like on the black market!? Those kids are never as good as the ones you get yourself, even if they ARE cheaper!

[latrine_orderly]

A woman's gotta BUDGET. 'Sides, I didn't buy him, I found him.