Welcome back, Lord Il Palazzo and Excel! You're awesome, Lord Il Palazzo and Excel! Hooray ACROSS!

[latrine_orderly]

So do you guys want the good news or the bad news first? Why do people even ask that? There's usually a predetermined order you have to say these things in, and it may always work on television, but in real life, letting the delivery of your punchline rest upon the shoulders of a neutral party could really ruin the effect. Lead your attack force

Comments

[youllgoblind]

Heya Excel! ...You had a kid?

[latrine_orderly]

Only in the most strictly literal sense that I have recently OBTAINED a child, yes.

[youllgoblind]

--Like on the black market!? Those kids are never as good as the ones you get yourself, even if they ARE cheaper!

[latrine_orderly]

A woman's gotta BUDGET. 'Sides, I didn't buy him, I found him.

[youllgoblind]

"Found" him in somebody's house! Quasi-terrorist actions are not the right way to start a family! You should find someone who will love and cherish you--like Sousuke, I'm sure he'd be a good father!

[latrine_orderly]

IN THE WOODS! And Lord Il Palazzo doesn't need anybody but ME, least of all some military nut!

[youllgoblind]

...
...
........
Wait--you stole Il Palazzo's baby!? I thought you loved him!

[latrine_orderly]

NO! THAT'S NOT RIGHT AT ALL! EXCEPT FOR THE LOVE THING! THE LOVE THING IS FINE!

[youllgoblind]

Good, because love is important! But stealing babies is bad! So, ask nicely and maybe this Il Palazzo person will see the strength of your pure heart and finally make you an honest woman and then you can have his babies yourself!

[latrine_orderly]

YES! BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT! But that doesn't have anything to do with the situation at hand.

[youllgoblind]

It doesn't?

[latrine_orderly]

Not a whit.

[youllgoblind]

...Then, uh, what does have to do with the situation?

[latrine_orderly]

Well, your crazy friend is gonna cap me and steal Lord Il Palazzo. I think it may be time to file for divorce.

[youllgoblind]

Just wait a minute--don't jump to conclusions, we can work all this out without any caps being busted (I hope)

[latrine_orderly]

Cover Lord Il Palazzo's eyes for me when he shoots me, okay? I don't wanna traumatize the poor kid!