Life these days

[callmepanda]

Welll it's been a really long time. Or at least it feel liks it has. I seriously love rider. I picked the right school for me. I wish I came here freshman year sometimes, but I guess that's a dumb thought because I would have never taken accounting, and I would never have ended up as motivated as I am now. But still sometimes, I wonder what it would have turned out like if I came here. Would I have been so depressed my first year of school?? Idk. Anyway, I really love it here. I feel like they work so hard to get you a job. I already met Deloitte, KPMG, and JH Cohn. I messed up the deadlines for most of the co-ops though, so I will probably have to take one my senior year. Which is kind of lame, but it might end up working out better anyway. I like my roommate which is good. I HATE my dorm though. UGhh all girls!!! I hate itttttt. The other dorms are so much more social. Which leads to my next issue and I guess kind of why I am posting at all. I HAVE NO FRIENDS HERE. Idk why but I am having the hardest time making friends. It has gotten a little bit better the past week (I actually say hi to people in the halls and when I am eating. ) But for the first month I literally was by myself all the time. It is kind of making me sad. I'm trying not to let it get me down, but it definitely got to me the last 2 weeks. The good thing is that the whole co-op and internship search are kind of over, so now I can join more clubs and have more free time. But I just am getting really sick of my own inner dialogue. I miss having friends =[ Even though there are not that many people that I liked at home, I still had a few! I have NO ONE here. It's weird. I became really good friends with my roommate, but then other than that and one other person (who I'm pretty sure is like over me bc she never invites me to eat with her, but I always see her with a bunch of friends in the dining hall) I have NO ONE. =[ It is very sad. What's making it harder is that Rico is the WORST at making me feel better. He always just makes me feel worse. And then, on top of that, chantel is like not there for me at all. I gave up texting her bc she either doesn't text me back or asks me 80 thousand questions like she doesn't speak english. The 2 people I lean on the most when I am upset are just totally gone. =[ So I feel like I have no one to talk to lately either. It's just not a fun scene. I really wish my ankle would heal because there is a lot of stuff I feel like I would do if I didn't have a sprained ankle. =[

I am trying to keep my head up for next week because I am exploring two new clubs =] But it is hard. Especially at 11:00 PM on a frday night when no one will even text me back.