Sorry, but I'm a felon.
I got out of class this afternoon and figured that I could go for for a fat Ultimate sub, so I jumped in my truck, turned that bitch sideways and headed to my local Publix. I picked up a sub, two protein bars (im a beast) and a water. As I was walking out I had to pass some dudes trying to get people to sign petitions to get support for certain legislation or something like that, and one of the guys turned to me and said,"Good fella, are you a registered voter?" I replied,"I'm so sorry kind sir, but I am a felon. I dont think I can help your cause on this fine day, but you take care!" He then turned and went on about his business.
As i walked away, looking in my Publix bag to make sure that I had gotten everything, it dawned on me that I had just discovered a magnificant treasure. A bounty so great, that to speak to much of it would take awsy from its glory, and it would vanish from existence!I had stumbled upon a way to get out of arguing with those stupid, stupid, stupid people. All one had to say, was that they were a felon, and those annoying people would gaze right through you, as if you were some transparent being, come to plunder them of life. What a glorious day!
Now, im not a felon. It was just a reaction. Maybe somewhere in my subconscious I was thinking about my situation, and the words found a sneaky way to slip past my toungue. It doesnt matter, the point is that I was delivered instantly from inconvience!
Oh dear! With this secret out,people may not sign their petitions, and the whole world will succumb to chaos!Bullet trains will be developed, people will be able to gamble and there will be no tax cuts for the middle class! Oh, the Humanity! What have I done? Ill tell you. By yielding to my deep desire to consume a single Publix sub, I have single handedly undone existenece. Nothingness will prevail, just as forseen in Dogma!Oh, dearest, kind God, have mercy on my insufficient soul!
Cheers!
As i walked away, looking in my Publix bag to make sure that I had gotten everything, it dawned on me that I had just discovered a magnificant treasure. A bounty so great, that to speak to much of it would take awsy from its glory, and it would vanish from existence!I had stumbled upon a way to get out of arguing with those stupid, stupid, stupid people. All one had to say, was that they were a felon, and those annoying people would gaze right through you, as if you were some transparent being, come to plunder them of life. What a glorious day!
Now, im not a felon. It was just a reaction. Maybe somewhere in my subconscious I was thinking about my situation, and the words found a sneaky way to slip past my toungue. It doesnt matter, the point is that I was delivered instantly from inconvience!
Oh dear! With this secret out,people may not sign their petitions, and the whole world will succumb to chaos!Bullet trains will be developed, people will be able to gamble and there will be no tax cuts for the middle class! Oh, the Humanity! What have I done? Ill tell you. By yielding to my deep desire to consume a single Publix sub, I have single handedly undone existenece. Nothingness will prevail, just as forseen in Dogma!Oh, dearest, kind God, have mercy on my insufficient soul!
Cheers!