Coming Clean - YouFoundMe!Verse - Chapter 5/7
Title: Coming Clean
Author: rupie88
Pairing: Jensen/Jared and others.
Verse: YouFoundMe!Verse
Summary: Jared's had it tough and its even tougher out on his own, especially when you carry a few emotional scars from your past.
Warning: I would say graphic Suicide attempt, emotional abuse, swearing, mentions of past physical violence and schmoop.
Rating: MA 15 for this chapter.
Disclaimer: Its all lies people
Beta: Thanks to deanbear25 for the incredible beta work, I'm pretty sure I didn't make the job easy. *hugs* And I fiddled with this chapter after so any mistakes are my own.
A/N Title obviously stolen from Hilary Duff (Yes I realise how sad that is LOL)
This chapter contains aftermath of the suicide attempt and mentions physical and emotionl abuse.
Previous: Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Interlude - Chapter 4
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
Coming Clean - Hilary Duff
"Jay open up, come on. I know you're in there,” Jensen said as he knocked on the door for the third time.
Jensen knocked again, still no answer. He put his ear to the door trying to listen for any signs of life.
Nothing.
Jensen walked down the side path that ran beside Jared's flat, hoping to find an opened window or maybe even an unlocked door.
He walked around until he found a back door with a little window. When he looked through the window, never in a million years would he imagined seeing Jared lying lifeless in a pool of his own blood.
It only took three seconds for Jensen to register what was going on and kick the door in. He quickly ran over to assess the situation. A piece of glass lay held loosely in Jared's right hand while his left arm had a deep incision from his wrist down to the inside of his elbow. Jensen quickly grabbed a dishtowel and tied it firmly around Jared's bicep trying to stem the flow of blood. He then placed another dishtowel over the open wound. Jared's pulse was weak and erratic while Jensen dialed 911.
"911, what's you emergency?"
"I need an ambulance. It my friend, he's cut his wrist and he's lost a lot of blood."
"Ok what's your address sir?"
"It's 2/4 Brown Avenue South Crest."
"Ok the paramedics are on their way. Have you stopped the bleeding?"
"Yes Ma’am, I've tied his arm off and have been applying pressure to the wound."
"Ok that's good; just hang in there the paramedics should be there soon.”
"Thank you" Jensen said hanging up the phone.
***
It only took a little under five minutes before the paramedics were knocking on Jared’s door.
It only took another ten minutes for the paramedics to stabilize Jared for transport. They bandaged his arm and intubated him to secure his breathing. Jensen rode in the back of the ambulance holding Jared's hand just praying to god that Jared would be spared.
They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later where Jared was rushed through emergency leaving Jensen to wait in the waiting area. He pulled out his cell, scrolled through his call history before pressing send.
"Hi Ma." Jensen said wearily.
“What wrong baby?”
Jensen sighed. "No I'm fine, it's Jared."
“Oh my, what happened? Is he going to be alright?”
"I don't know ma. He cut his arm and I found him."
Ms Ackles sobbed a little. “Where are you now?”
"We just got to St.Andrews."
“I’m on my way and I love you”
"Thanks Ma and I love you too."
He stifled his own sob before he scrolled though his phone book looking for a certain number.
"Hi Chad it’s Jensen."
“Hey Jensen what can I do you for?”
"It's Jay."
“Where?” Chad asked immediately.
"St Andrews"
"Ok, bye" was all Jensen got form Chad but he wasn’t expecting anything different.
This time Jensen just let the tears fall, just hoping and praying that he found Jared in time. He was still crying when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked up to see Chad standing there. Chad just pulled him into a hug. Jensen told Chad all about what happened from the kissing to their argument and finding Jared on the kitchen floor.
Jensen's Mama and the twins turned up no less then two minutes later. They all stood there holding one another silently praying for Jared's survival. Their silence was broken by a doctor.
"Excuse me; are you here for Jared Padalecki?"
"Yes we are" Ms Ackles spoke.
"Are you his mother?”
"Not legally but I've been more of one then his biological one ever has."
"I'm sorry then Ma’am but I can't legally disclose Jared's condition."
"Look Jared has no family ok; his family kicked him out of home because of his sexuality. He has dinner at my place nearly 4 times a week; I sometimes do his laundry and even give him a little money on the side. If that ain't motherly then I don't know what is."
"If that's the case then I assume you'll be covering all medical costs and be responsible for his improving health when he is discharged."
"That's correct, now how is he?"
"At the moment Jared's still in an emergency bay, if he doesn't regain consciousness in the next 24 hours then he'll be moved to the ICU. He's in a critical condition but he is stable. It was touch and go for a while there, he lost a lot of blood but I do expect him to make a full recovery if he wakes within the next 24 hours.
However, we won't know the full damage until he regains consciousness. At the moment were still unsure about any damage he may have caused to his arm especially his fingers and nerve endings. But like I said we'll know more when he wakes up"
"Thank you doc, can we see him?" Jensen asked.
"Only two at a time and keep it down" the doctor replied.
Jensen and Chad went in first. Jensen headed straight to Jared's bedside and held his hand. He just closed his eyes and whispered "Come on Jay, you gotta wake up for me. You have to fight, I need you to fight." Jensen squeezed his hand and he let the tears roll when Jared didn't squeeze back. He didn't even realize that Chad had left he room and his mother was now in here with him.
"Come on Jen, its time to go honey" she whispered.
"No I'm staying; I wanna be here when he wakes up. He'll need me when he wakes up, he won't have any idea where he is or what's goin on" Jensen pleaded.
She knew better then to try and fight Jensen over this. "Ok then if you’re sure".
Jared sighed in relief. "I'm sure, I'll ring you and Chad if there's any change."
She kissed his forehead before leaving the room silently and letting Jensen gather his thoughts. He just pulled his chair closer to the bed and recaptured Jared's hand in his before laying his head on the bed and let his thoughts carry off to another world.
***
When Jared woke the first thing he noticed was everything was so bright and eerily quiet. A smile spread across Jared's face he was finally at peace and he could be happy. He didn’t have to face being a disappointment to his family, to Chad or to Jensen. As he allowed his eyes to adjust to his surrounding he noticed how wrong he was. His arm was bandaged up and he couldn't talk because he had a tube down his thought. That's when Jared noticed Jensen sleeping, holding his hand. He squeezed his hand a few times trying waking Jensen up. He continued to squeeze until Jensen registered what was going on and looked up finding Jared awake.
"Thank god,” Jensen praised. "Don't try to speak ok I'll go and get a doctor and he can remove the tube."
Jared could only nod as he tried to breathe.
Before Jensen walked out of the room he turned at the door "We'll talk when you’re ready". Jared just closed his eyes and nodded again.
Waiting for Jensen to return with the doctor gave Jared time to think. When Jared woke up seeing Jensen he realized right then and there that he could tell Jensen his secrets and trust him. Jensen was different and Jared was sure that he loved Jensen and that's what was scaring him so much. To be able to give yourself over to somebody wholly and completely and have faith that they will love you for all your flaws was something Jared had always been frightened of. But even after their argument and Jensen telling Jared he had to make up his mind, Jensen was still by his bedside. After all the mistakes Jared had made since Jensen had known him, he was still by his side, holding his hand. If that isn't love then what is?
Jared was pulled from his thoughts when Jensen walked back into the room withwho Jared presumed was his doctor, when he picked up his chart.
"Ok Jared, looking at your OB's and the fact that your awake were going to remove that tube now" The doctor said walking to Jared's bedside.
"I want you to take a deep breath in and then when I pull the tube I want you to breath out ok?"
Jared nodded again.
“One. Two. Three.” Jared coughed and spluttered and signaled for a glass of water. He drank the whole glass in a few mouthfuls.
"Ok Jared I need you to do a few things for me. Can you move your fingers?"
Jared moved his fingers.
"Can you move your wrist?"
Jared moved his wrist.
"Ok does any where on your body feel tingly or like pins and needles?"
"No not really, my arm just feel kinda funny" Jared said hoarsely.
"Ok that's probably due to the amount of blood you lost but I think you will regain full use of your arm. We just need to keep you until at least mid afternoon tomorrow, I suspect you'll be right to leave by tomorrow evening ".
Shit Jared didn't even realize it was 2:45 in the morning and Jensen was still here.
"That is after your psychiatric evaluation,” the doctor continued. "Its just procedure, you harmed yourself intentionally and whether I or anybody believes it will or won't happen again it's the course of action that by law must be followed. Now Jensen I suggest you head home get some rest, shower and come back when visiting hours open at 9:30 in the morning.”
"Ok thanks Doc, thanks for everything" Jensen replied.
The doctor nodded at both the boys and then quietly left the room.
When the doctor left, the room fell into awkward silence, neither really knowing what to say to one another, how far to push each other.
"Well I guess I better get going and let you rest some more" Jensen started. As Jensen turned to start walking away he heard Jared's husky voice shatter the silence.
"I'll only want to say this once" Jared started "Cos honestly I don't think I'll ever have the courage to say it again so if you walk away that's on you"
"Jay, are you sure? I want you to do it for yourself." Jensen said carefully.
Jared sighed, "No but I want to, I need to."
Jensen didn't say anything, just pulled his chair closer to the bed and held Jared's hand.
"And Jen before I start, please don't interrupt me because I just want it all out in one go please" Jared pleaded.
Jensen simply nodded.
Jared took a deep breath in and then exhaled.
"Ok I first thought that I was different when I about thirteen. I'd completely tune out when ever my friends were talkin about girls and all that stuff. I didn't go 'oh I don't want to kiss girls so I'm gay' I just thought it'll happen when ever it happens. As time went on I picked up on other things like I wasn't looking at how bouncy girl's boobs were I was looking at how defined and shaped guys chests were. By the time I was fourteen I knew I was gay, especially when I jerked off to the thought of my best friend Milo. It wasn't long until I realized I had a crush on him, I would get so cut when he'd cancel our plans so he could go fuck his girlfriend. It was a few weeks before my fifteenth birthday when he confronted me about it. I didn't admit it but I didn't deny it either. He called me faggot waste of space and punched me in the face. He told me if I ever came near him again he'd blow a hole through my head with a shot gun."
Jared paused for a moment, allowing himself to take breath, a tear rolling down his cheek. When he felt Jensen squeeze his hand a little he continued on.
"It took a total of three days for the school, neighborhood, my friends and my family to find out. I tried to talk to my family about it but they wouldn't listen. I didn't know what to do, let alone how to cope with everything that was going on. I just wanted somebody to talk to me, tell me I could fix it but everybody just stood clear of me like I was a contagious disease. I knew the day I had lost my family when I woke up to an empty house on the morning of Megan's birthday. We planned it for months, wake up early and spend the day at the zoo. All I got was a half scribbled note saying 'back later'.
It hurt so bad knowing they didn't want me anymore, but it hurt ten times more when they kicked me out a few weeks later."
Jared paused again, letting a few more tears run down his cheeks. Jensen gently wiped them away.
"It was about two weeks after everybody found out. I was at school and we had physical education class. After everybody had changed into their P.E clothes I headed into the locker rooms to change. I had just changed and as I went to leave five guys walked in. They were all friends with Milo, once my friends too. When they were finished with me I had a broken wrist, broken elbow, my right ankle was completely crushed and a dislocated shoulder along with the cuts and bruises. The pain around me groin and arse hurt so much more, the majority of the attack was aimed there. They had jumped kicked and stood all over my dick and balls. I spent two months in hospital recovering. The only visitors I had were the paramedics who saved my life.”
Jared paused this time because Jensen let out a tiny sob. He squeezed Jensen’s hand before continuing.
“When I was discharged from hospital I caught a bus home to find my stuff packed and some money. There was a note written in the envelope saying 'anywhere', I had to leave before my family came home from church. I caught the first bus out of town and wound up here.”
And Jensen thought having no father and helping his mother was hard. Jared had done everything buy himself. He was a survivor, who learnt to live on his own two feet. Jared was nothing to be ashamed of; his strength and courage were something to be admired.
That obviously wasn't the end of the story, it took Jared nearly taking his life to tell Jensen about himself, so where does Chad fit into this?
"How does Chad fit into this?" Jensen asked quietly.
Jared sighed. "I was working along with Chad and Alexis. I just finished serving a customer when I heard a lady laugh. It shook me to the core because I knew that laugh and I hadn't heard it in over a year. I looked up and passed out. When I fell I must have knocked some stuff off the register because when I came to Chad was there shaking me awake and there were a few customers looking on. Chad helped me up and when I looked up and saw my mom just staring at me I started vomiting. Chad helped me out the back and got me some water, straight away he knew something was wrong because I had never been sick, never took a day off work. It took a few minutes but in the end I broke down and confessed everything. He stormed out so angry and when he came back five minutes later he told me he didn't care where I stuck my dick as long as it wasn't anywhere near him. I still don't exactly know what he said to my mom, he would never tell me the truth and I honestly didn't care because I had a real friend. He was the one who got my flat, he knew a friend that knew a friend. He helped me out so much. I got my head in a good place and I owe him for that."
"Then I showed up and wrecked everything" Jensen said with a warm smile.
"Yeah I just didn't know how to cope. It was easier to be friends with Chad because he wanted nothing more then friendship but you wanted more and I didn't know how to deal with someone actually wanting me."
"I'm sorry man. I'm sorry for everything you've been through, I'm sorry you thought you couldn't tell me and I'm sorry I pushed you so hard."
"Don't be please don't be sorry I don't want anybody else to feel sorry for me. I just want you to…" Jared trailed off.
"What, anything?"
"To love me,” Jared said quietly
Jensen smiled. "I'm pretty sure I can do that."
Jared moved over and patted the bed, gesturing for Jensen to climb in. Jared rested his head under Jensen chin while his hand rested over his heart. Jensen just pulled him close. Their limbs all tangled.
"Love you Jay"
"Love you too Jen"
They fell asleep shortly after.
Chapter 6
Author: rupie88
Pairing: Jensen/Jared and others.
Verse: YouFoundMe!Verse
Summary: Jared's had it tough and its even tougher out on his own, especially when you carry a few emotional scars from your past.
Warning: I would say graphic Suicide attempt, emotional abuse, swearing, mentions of past physical violence and schmoop.
Rating: MA 15 for this chapter.
Disclaimer: Its all lies people
Beta: Thanks to deanbear25 for the incredible beta work, I'm pretty sure I didn't make the job easy. *hugs* And I fiddled with this chapter after so any mistakes are my own.
A/N Title obviously stolen from Hilary Duff (Yes I realise how sad that is LOL)
This chapter contains aftermath of the suicide attempt and mentions physical and emotionl abuse.
Previous: Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Interlude - Chapter 4
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
Coming Clean - Hilary Duff
"Jay open up, come on. I know you're in there,” Jensen said as he knocked on the door for the third time.
Jensen knocked again, still no answer. He put his ear to the door trying to listen for any signs of life.
Nothing.
Jensen walked down the side path that ran beside Jared's flat, hoping to find an opened window or maybe even an unlocked door.
He walked around until he found a back door with a little window. When he looked through the window, never in a million years would he imagined seeing Jared lying lifeless in a pool of his own blood.
It only took three seconds for Jensen to register what was going on and kick the door in. He quickly ran over to assess the situation. A piece of glass lay held loosely in Jared's right hand while his left arm had a deep incision from his wrist down to the inside of his elbow. Jensen quickly grabbed a dishtowel and tied it firmly around Jared's bicep trying to stem the flow of blood. He then placed another dishtowel over the open wound. Jared's pulse was weak and erratic while Jensen dialed 911.
"911, what's you emergency?"
"I need an ambulance. It my friend, he's cut his wrist and he's lost a lot of blood."
"Ok what's your address sir?"
"It's 2/4 Brown Avenue South Crest."
"Ok the paramedics are on their way. Have you stopped the bleeding?"
"Yes Ma’am, I've tied his arm off and have been applying pressure to the wound."
"Ok that's good; just hang in there the paramedics should be there soon.”
"Thank you" Jensen said hanging up the phone.
***
It only took a little under five minutes before the paramedics were knocking on Jared’s door.
It only took another ten minutes for the paramedics to stabilize Jared for transport. They bandaged his arm and intubated him to secure his breathing. Jensen rode in the back of the ambulance holding Jared's hand just praying to god that Jared would be spared.
They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later where Jared was rushed through emergency leaving Jensen to wait in the waiting area. He pulled out his cell, scrolled through his call history before pressing send.
"Hi Ma." Jensen said wearily.
“What wrong baby?”
Jensen sighed. "No I'm fine, it's Jared."
“Oh my, what happened? Is he going to be alright?”
"I don't know ma. He cut his arm and I found him."
Ms Ackles sobbed a little. “Where are you now?”
"We just got to St.Andrews."
“I’m on my way and I love you”
"Thanks Ma and I love you too."
He stifled his own sob before he scrolled though his phone book looking for a certain number.
"Hi Chad it’s Jensen."
“Hey Jensen what can I do you for?”
"It's Jay."
“Where?” Chad asked immediately.
"St Andrews"
"Ok, bye" was all Jensen got form Chad but he wasn’t expecting anything different.
This time Jensen just let the tears fall, just hoping and praying that he found Jared in time. He was still crying when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked up to see Chad standing there. Chad just pulled him into a hug. Jensen told Chad all about what happened from the kissing to their argument and finding Jared on the kitchen floor.
Jensen's Mama and the twins turned up no less then two minutes later. They all stood there holding one another silently praying for Jared's survival. Their silence was broken by a doctor.
"Excuse me; are you here for Jared Padalecki?"
"Yes we are" Ms Ackles spoke.
"Are you his mother?”
"Not legally but I've been more of one then his biological one ever has."
"I'm sorry then Ma’am but I can't legally disclose Jared's condition."
"Look Jared has no family ok; his family kicked him out of home because of his sexuality. He has dinner at my place nearly 4 times a week; I sometimes do his laundry and even give him a little money on the side. If that ain't motherly then I don't know what is."
"If that's the case then I assume you'll be covering all medical costs and be responsible for his improving health when he is discharged."
"That's correct, now how is he?"
"At the moment Jared's still in an emergency bay, if he doesn't regain consciousness in the next 24 hours then he'll be moved to the ICU. He's in a critical condition but he is stable. It was touch and go for a while there, he lost a lot of blood but I do expect him to make a full recovery if he wakes within the next 24 hours.
However, we won't know the full damage until he regains consciousness. At the moment were still unsure about any damage he may have caused to his arm especially his fingers and nerve endings. But like I said we'll know more when he wakes up"
"Thank you doc, can we see him?" Jensen asked.
"Only two at a time and keep it down" the doctor replied.
Jensen and Chad went in first. Jensen headed straight to Jared's bedside and held his hand. He just closed his eyes and whispered "Come on Jay, you gotta wake up for me. You have to fight, I need you to fight." Jensen squeezed his hand and he let the tears roll when Jared didn't squeeze back. He didn't even realize that Chad had left he room and his mother was now in here with him.
"Come on Jen, its time to go honey" she whispered.
"No I'm staying; I wanna be here when he wakes up. He'll need me when he wakes up, he won't have any idea where he is or what's goin on" Jensen pleaded.
She knew better then to try and fight Jensen over this. "Ok then if you’re sure".
Jared sighed in relief. "I'm sure, I'll ring you and Chad if there's any change."
She kissed his forehead before leaving the room silently and letting Jensen gather his thoughts. He just pulled his chair closer to the bed and recaptured Jared's hand in his before laying his head on the bed and let his thoughts carry off to another world.
***
When Jared woke the first thing he noticed was everything was so bright and eerily quiet. A smile spread across Jared's face he was finally at peace and he could be happy. He didn’t have to face being a disappointment to his family, to Chad or to Jensen. As he allowed his eyes to adjust to his surrounding he noticed how wrong he was. His arm was bandaged up and he couldn't talk because he had a tube down his thought. That's when Jared noticed Jensen sleeping, holding his hand. He squeezed his hand a few times trying waking Jensen up. He continued to squeeze until Jensen registered what was going on and looked up finding Jared awake.
"Thank god,” Jensen praised. "Don't try to speak ok I'll go and get a doctor and he can remove the tube."
Jared could only nod as he tried to breathe.
Before Jensen walked out of the room he turned at the door "We'll talk when you’re ready". Jared just closed his eyes and nodded again.
Waiting for Jensen to return with the doctor gave Jared time to think. When Jared woke up seeing Jensen he realized right then and there that he could tell Jensen his secrets and trust him. Jensen was different and Jared was sure that he loved Jensen and that's what was scaring him so much. To be able to give yourself over to somebody wholly and completely and have faith that they will love you for all your flaws was something Jared had always been frightened of. But even after their argument and Jensen telling Jared he had to make up his mind, Jensen was still by his bedside. After all the mistakes Jared had made since Jensen had known him, he was still by his side, holding his hand. If that isn't love then what is?
Jared was pulled from his thoughts when Jensen walked back into the room withwho Jared presumed was his doctor, when he picked up his chart.
"Ok Jared, looking at your OB's and the fact that your awake were going to remove that tube now" The doctor said walking to Jared's bedside.
"I want you to take a deep breath in and then when I pull the tube I want you to breath out ok?"
Jared nodded again.
“One. Two. Three.” Jared coughed and spluttered and signaled for a glass of water. He drank the whole glass in a few mouthfuls.
"Ok Jared I need you to do a few things for me. Can you move your fingers?"
Jared moved his fingers.
"Can you move your wrist?"
Jared moved his wrist.
"Ok does any where on your body feel tingly or like pins and needles?"
"No not really, my arm just feel kinda funny" Jared said hoarsely.
"Ok that's probably due to the amount of blood you lost but I think you will regain full use of your arm. We just need to keep you until at least mid afternoon tomorrow, I suspect you'll be right to leave by tomorrow evening ".
Shit Jared didn't even realize it was 2:45 in the morning and Jensen was still here.
"That is after your psychiatric evaluation,” the doctor continued. "Its just procedure, you harmed yourself intentionally and whether I or anybody believes it will or won't happen again it's the course of action that by law must be followed. Now Jensen I suggest you head home get some rest, shower and come back when visiting hours open at 9:30 in the morning.”
"Ok thanks Doc, thanks for everything" Jensen replied.
The doctor nodded at both the boys and then quietly left the room.
When the doctor left, the room fell into awkward silence, neither really knowing what to say to one another, how far to push each other.
"Well I guess I better get going and let you rest some more" Jensen started. As Jensen turned to start walking away he heard Jared's husky voice shatter the silence.
"I'll only want to say this once" Jared started "Cos honestly I don't think I'll ever have the courage to say it again so if you walk away that's on you"
"Jay, are you sure? I want you to do it for yourself." Jensen said carefully.
Jared sighed, "No but I want to, I need to."
Jensen didn't say anything, just pulled his chair closer to the bed and held Jared's hand.
"And Jen before I start, please don't interrupt me because I just want it all out in one go please" Jared pleaded.
Jensen simply nodded.
Jared took a deep breath in and then exhaled.
"Ok I first thought that I was different when I about thirteen. I'd completely tune out when ever my friends were talkin about girls and all that stuff. I didn't go 'oh I don't want to kiss girls so I'm gay' I just thought it'll happen when ever it happens. As time went on I picked up on other things like I wasn't looking at how bouncy girl's boobs were I was looking at how defined and shaped guys chests were. By the time I was fourteen I knew I was gay, especially when I jerked off to the thought of my best friend Milo. It wasn't long until I realized I had a crush on him, I would get so cut when he'd cancel our plans so he could go fuck his girlfriend. It was a few weeks before my fifteenth birthday when he confronted me about it. I didn't admit it but I didn't deny it either. He called me faggot waste of space and punched me in the face. He told me if I ever came near him again he'd blow a hole through my head with a shot gun."
Jared paused for a moment, allowing himself to take breath, a tear rolling down his cheek. When he felt Jensen squeeze his hand a little he continued on.
"It took a total of three days for the school, neighborhood, my friends and my family to find out. I tried to talk to my family about it but they wouldn't listen. I didn't know what to do, let alone how to cope with everything that was going on. I just wanted somebody to talk to me, tell me I could fix it but everybody just stood clear of me like I was a contagious disease. I knew the day I had lost my family when I woke up to an empty house on the morning of Megan's birthday. We planned it for months, wake up early and spend the day at the zoo. All I got was a half scribbled note saying 'back later'.
It hurt so bad knowing they didn't want me anymore, but it hurt ten times more when they kicked me out a few weeks later."
Jared paused again, letting a few more tears run down his cheeks. Jensen gently wiped them away.
"It was about two weeks after everybody found out. I was at school and we had physical education class. After everybody had changed into their P.E clothes I headed into the locker rooms to change. I had just changed and as I went to leave five guys walked in. They were all friends with Milo, once my friends too. When they were finished with me I had a broken wrist, broken elbow, my right ankle was completely crushed and a dislocated shoulder along with the cuts and bruises. The pain around me groin and arse hurt so much more, the majority of the attack was aimed there. They had jumped kicked and stood all over my dick and balls. I spent two months in hospital recovering. The only visitors I had were the paramedics who saved my life.”
Jared paused this time because Jensen let out a tiny sob. He squeezed Jensen’s hand before continuing.
“When I was discharged from hospital I caught a bus home to find my stuff packed and some money. There was a note written in the envelope saying 'anywhere', I had to leave before my family came home from church. I caught the first bus out of town and wound up here.”
And Jensen thought having no father and helping his mother was hard. Jared had done everything buy himself. He was a survivor, who learnt to live on his own two feet. Jared was nothing to be ashamed of; his strength and courage were something to be admired.
That obviously wasn't the end of the story, it took Jared nearly taking his life to tell Jensen about himself, so where does Chad fit into this?
"How does Chad fit into this?" Jensen asked quietly.
Jared sighed. "I was working along with Chad and Alexis. I just finished serving a customer when I heard a lady laugh. It shook me to the core because I knew that laugh and I hadn't heard it in over a year. I looked up and passed out. When I fell I must have knocked some stuff off the register because when I came to Chad was there shaking me awake and there were a few customers looking on. Chad helped me up and when I looked up and saw my mom just staring at me I started vomiting. Chad helped me out the back and got me some water, straight away he knew something was wrong because I had never been sick, never took a day off work. It took a few minutes but in the end I broke down and confessed everything. He stormed out so angry and when he came back five minutes later he told me he didn't care where I stuck my dick as long as it wasn't anywhere near him. I still don't exactly know what he said to my mom, he would never tell me the truth and I honestly didn't care because I had a real friend. He was the one who got my flat, he knew a friend that knew a friend. He helped me out so much. I got my head in a good place and I owe him for that."
"Then I showed up and wrecked everything" Jensen said with a warm smile.
"Yeah I just didn't know how to cope. It was easier to be friends with Chad because he wanted nothing more then friendship but you wanted more and I didn't know how to deal with someone actually wanting me."
"I'm sorry man. I'm sorry for everything you've been through, I'm sorry you thought you couldn't tell me and I'm sorry I pushed you so hard."
"Don't be please don't be sorry I don't want anybody else to feel sorry for me. I just want you to…" Jared trailed off.
"What, anything?"
"To love me,” Jared said quietly
Jensen smiled. "I'm pretty sure I can do that."
Jared moved over and patted the bed, gesturing for Jensen to climb in. Jared rested his head under Jensen chin while his hand rested over his heart. Jensen just pulled him close. Their limbs all tangled.
"Love you Jay"
"Love you too Jen"
They fell asleep shortly after.
Chapter 6