Last Resort - YouFoundMe!Verse - Chapter 4/7
God Jared was such a screw up, such a failure. He regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. He didn't mean them the way they sounded; he wasn't even sure what he meant. He was just so angry, mostly at himself some at Jensen. Jensen just wouldn't stop pushing, pushing for answers Jared wasn't ready to give, and answers he wasn't sure he had yet. He wanted to give much more then friendship but he couldn't risk their friendship. Once Jensen knew about Jared's past he definitely wouldn't want anything to do with him. The risk was too much but in the end it didn't really matter, he still lost Jensen. It was still his fault, it always his fault. It hurt knowing he was the reason for being alone. Jared hadn't felt this bad since he was kicked out of his home. He just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. It was not like anybody would notice, let alone care that he was missing.
Jared walked aimlessly back inside his flat, he was really thankful that Chad had forgotten to take the half empty bottle of vodka with him yesterday morning. His whole body was shaking with anger and hurt and as he reached for the glass but his fingers didn't grasp onto it tight enough and it just slipped through his fingers. He stood there staring at the shattered pieces lying scattered on the floor. He sank to his knees crying, he curled himself into a ball, pulling his knees to his chest and closed his eyes wishing all the pain away.
He eyed a piece of broken glass on the floor. Jared looked at it like it held all the answers. One swift move and everything would get better.
It didn't hurt when the glass pierced his skin. He slowly pressed the corners edge into his skin and dragged from his wrist up to the inside of his elbow, feeling the sharp pain he was inflicting on himslef. He studied his weeping arm for a moment, just watching the blood flow from the open wound. It felt like a slow burn mixed with relief. It was so overwhelming; he watched the blood run down from his arm and drip to the floor, making the shards of glass look like islands in a red sea. And he wasn't sad, just relived.
He had no reason to be sad, his life wasn't worth living the day the town shunned him. Ever since then he has been living on auto-pilot, just living one day after the next. He honestly never wanted to go through all the pain and heartache and with everything that had happened with Jensen this was the only way out. He just rested his head and let his mind wander. Let his body succumb to the peace and quiet.
***
Jensen knew he shouldn't have gotten so angry. It wasn't Jared's fault he didn't believe him. Jared was obviously struggling and needed help and all Jensen could do was blame Jared. He shouldn't have pushed so hard, Jared obviously wasn't ready to tell Jensen anything, Jensen should have been a friend for him and not act like a jealous ex, who technically wasn't even an ex.
He only got half way down the road before he turned around. He needed to sort everything with Jared, just sit down and talk about it honestly. Jensen loved Jared and it was killing him, leaving things the way they did. If they just sat down and talked then maybe Jensen could prove that he loved Jared and he would never hurt him
He practically ran up the front path, took a breath and knocked. Now all he had to do was wait for Jared to answer the door.
Chapter 5
Jared walked aimlessly back inside his flat, he was really thankful that Chad had forgotten to take the half empty bottle of vodka with him yesterday morning. His whole body was shaking with anger and hurt and as he reached for the glass but his fingers didn't grasp onto it tight enough and it just slipped through his fingers. He stood there staring at the shattered pieces lying scattered on the floor. He sank to his knees crying, he curled himself into a ball, pulling his knees to his chest and closed his eyes wishing all the pain away.
He eyed a piece of broken glass on the floor. Jared looked at it like it held all the answers. One swift move and everything would get better.
It didn't hurt when the glass pierced his skin. He slowly pressed the corners edge into his skin and dragged from his wrist up to the inside of his elbow, feeling the sharp pain he was inflicting on himslef. He studied his weeping arm for a moment, just watching the blood flow from the open wound. It felt like a slow burn mixed with relief. It was so overwhelming; he watched the blood run down from his arm and drip to the floor, making the shards of glass look like islands in a red sea. And he wasn't sad, just relived.
He had no reason to be sad, his life wasn't worth living the day the town shunned him. Ever since then he has been living on auto-pilot, just living one day after the next. He honestly never wanted to go through all the pain and heartache and with everything that had happened with Jensen this was the only way out. He just rested his head and let his mind wander. Let his body succumb to the peace and quiet.
***
Jensen knew he shouldn't have gotten so angry. It wasn't Jared's fault he didn't believe him. Jared was obviously struggling and needed help and all Jensen could do was blame Jared. He shouldn't have pushed so hard, Jared obviously wasn't ready to tell Jensen anything, Jensen should have been a friend for him and not act like a jealous ex, who technically wasn't even an ex.
He only got half way down the road before he turned around. He needed to sort everything with Jared, just sit down and talk about it honestly. Jensen loved Jared and it was killing him, leaving things the way they did. If they just sat down and talked then maybe Jensen could prove that he loved Jared and he would never hurt him
He practically ran up the front path, took a breath and knocked. Now all he had to do was wait for Jared to answer the door.
Chapter 5