Because Of You - YouFoundMe!Verse Chapter 1/7
Title: Because Of You
Author:
rupie88
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Verse: YouFoundMe!Verse
Summary: Jared's had it tough and its even tougher out on his own, especially when you carry a few emotional scars from your past.
Warning: I would say graphic Suicide attempt, emotional abuse, swearing, mentions of past physical violence. and schmoop.
Rating: Pg - 13 for this chapter.
Disclaimer: Its all lies people
Beta: Thanks to
incompletework2 for the incredible beta work, I'm pretty sure I didn't make the job easy. *hugs*
A/N Title obviously stolen from Kelly Clarkson.
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
not only me, but
everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
I try my hardest just to
forget everything
Because of you
I don't know
how to let
anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life
because it's empty
Because Of You - Kelly Clarkson
To say Jared's been through shit is an understatement. He had to learn to stand on his own two feet very quickly. At the age of 17 he had his own place and worked full time at his local store. The pay was crap but it covered his rent and food. If he was lucky, even some candy. He has only one real friend, Chad who works with him. Growing up Jared has been spat on, bashed, kicked, assaulted, disowned and kicked out of his home by this parents all because he preferred his partners to be of the male kind. Sure life has been hard but he'd never want to live under his parents roof living a lie.
Jared was always one of those kids who had to do everything for himself. He would never ask anyone for help, he always thought that it would make him a stronger person in the long run. He was glad he lived life that way; it helped him cope with the shit with his family and finding his own two feet.
He found his own way of coping with life and the stress, anger and fear it imposed on him. Sometimes he would go for a run or he would beat his punching bag until he was blue in the face. Once he cut himself. He didn't want to die or anything that dramatic, just wanting to feel physical pain rather then emotional pain. The scar on his upper left thigh reminded him everyday how he must not let his family or the bullies win. After that, he never picked up a pair of scissors without the intention of cutting paper. It made him that much stronger, sure it wasn't the therapeutical way of dealing with issues but it worked for him.
Chad knew everything about Jared. After a few weeks, Jared told Chad everything, everything from being gay, his so-called friends and the nightmares, to his parents kicking him out of home and how he cut himself once and never wanted to do it again. Chad didn't look at him in disgust, just pulled him into a hug saying "thanks for telling me and I don't care if your gay I still wanna be your friend". Jared never felt more relieved in his life. He was finally accepted as himself rather then the image his family constructed for him.
Jared liked where he worked. It was close to home, only about a five-minute walk and the shops near by had everything he would ever need to survive. It was like a mini mall. It had a grocery store, a video store, a take away, newsagency and a music shop. Not that Jared went into the stores very much but if he needed anything, he could always find it there. The neighborhood was known to be bad but you could still find the odd friendly person. The customers were always nice at work. Mostly women or elderly people. Sometimes he would help carry groceries to their cars or if they lived close by, their homes.
Today was no different to any other day. He was stocking shelves, serving customers and having a chat with Eileen, a Friday regular. He became known as the bag boy through out the local community, always offering and assisting with peoples bags. It wasn't always elderly people either, some people would just have their hands full. Like the woman, that he served just after three this afternoon. She was far from elderly or disabled, probably around 40 years old. She didn't have enough arms for all her bags. Therefore, Jared being the guy he is offered to help.
Turns out Ms. Ackles only lived a block away, not far really. On the way to her house they chatted back and forth, both happy for the light conversation. It ended up being a really quick walk, especially when they cut through a side street and a alley. Jared couldn't believe her house. It's the tiniest house on the street but it was so much bigger than his one room flat. It had a nice green lawn and beautiful roses growing in the front garden. They might live in a crappy neighbour hood but they knew how to make it look decent and respectable.
It was nice to see something so peaceful. Jared entered the kitchen and placed the bags on the kitchen bench. He was just getting ready to say goodbye when Ms. Ackles introduced her son
Jensen had it pretty good. Sure there was others who were better off then him but he had a loving family, a roof over his head and some real friends. He lived with his momma, brother and sister. His dad left them just after Jensen was born. He worked in a music shop next to his local store and worked with his two best friends Chris and Steve. Jensen's pay covered the rent and most of the food while his Momma's pay covered the rest. He hung out with Chris and Steve at bars and clubs, and his Momma didn't mind if he brang company home just as long as they're quiet. His Momma didn't care that he occasionally brought guys home just as long as they're gone before everyone one else was up. Jensen had life pretty good.
"Jared, this is my son Jensen." Jared stuck his hand out and Jensen did the same. Jared was amazed at how soft Jensen's hand felt even with a firm handshake.
"Nice to meet you Jensen. Now if you excuse me I must really get back to work." With that, Jared turned to leave again only to have Ms. Ackles stop him.
"Well we don't want you fired." Ms Ackles said with a chuckle and tried to place some money in Jared's hand. "Here Jared thanks for your help."
"Sorry Ms Ackles I can't accept that, it was my pleasure really. I needed the break,"
Ms. Ackles is a little taken a back but agreed anyway "Well if you're sure Jared."
Jared just nodded and said, "I'm sure, its fine. It was nice to meet both of you and have a lovely evening."
Jared closed the door behind him. He got halfway down the street before he heard someone calling out his name. He turned to see Jensen running towards him waving something.
"You left your hat," Jensen said in between breaths. Jared didn't even remember taking it off.
"Ah thank you Jensen." Jared took the hat from Jensen's hand and placed it on his head. "Well I should be going I don't think I could handle two pay cuts in one week, my land lord wouldn't be too impressed. See ya round," Jared said turning and walking away.
"You bet." Jensen said as he walked back towards his home.
Jensen didn't know anything about Jared. He didn't know what it was about Jared that made him want to get to know him. They hadn't said more then a hello to each other and already Jensen decided that Jared was somebody he would like to get to know.
Jared spent the last few hours of his shift thinking about how nice Jensen's house was and how Jensen had it pretty good. Jensen didn't live in a one room flat that was his kitchen, bedroom and lounge room. Jensen probably didn't have to do his laundry in a Laundromat and probably didn't live on Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.
By the time Jared got home, he was tired, starving and had a few chores that needed to be done. He decided to pass out on his lounge/bed, and get up an hour earlier tomorrow to do his chores. For right now, he just wanted to get some sleep before the nightmares woke him up.
Chapter 2
Author:
rupie88
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Verse: YouFoundMe!Verse
Summary: Jared's had it tough and its even tougher out on his own, especially when you carry a few emotional scars from your past.
Warning: I would say graphic Suicide attempt, emotional abuse, swearing, mentions of past physical violence. and schmoop.
Rating: Pg - 13 for this chapter.
Disclaimer: Its all lies people
Beta: Thanks to
incompletework2 for the incredible beta work, I'm pretty sure I didn't make the job easy. *hugs*
A/N Title obviously stolen from Kelly Clarkson.
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
not only me, but
everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
I try my hardest just to
forget everything
Because of you
I don't know
how to let
anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life
because it's empty
Because Of You - Kelly Clarkson
To say Jared's been through shit is an understatement. He had to learn to stand on his own two feet very quickly. At the age of 17 he had his own place and worked full time at his local store. The pay was crap but it covered his rent and food. If he was lucky, even some candy. He has only one real friend, Chad who works with him. Growing up Jared has been spat on, bashed, kicked, assaulted, disowned and kicked out of his home by this parents all because he preferred his partners to be of the male kind. Sure life has been hard but he'd never want to live under his parents roof living a lie.
Jared was always one of those kids who had to do everything for himself. He would never ask anyone for help, he always thought that it would make him a stronger person in the long run. He was glad he lived life that way; it helped him cope with the shit with his family and finding his own two feet.
He found his own way of coping with life and the stress, anger and fear it imposed on him. Sometimes he would go for a run or he would beat his punching bag until he was blue in the face. Once he cut himself. He didn't want to die or anything that dramatic, just wanting to feel physical pain rather then emotional pain. The scar on his upper left thigh reminded him everyday how he must not let his family or the bullies win. After that, he never picked up a pair of scissors without the intention of cutting paper. It made him that much stronger, sure it wasn't the therapeutical way of dealing with issues but it worked for him.
Chad knew everything about Jared. After a few weeks, Jared told Chad everything, everything from being gay, his so-called friends and the nightmares, to his parents kicking him out of home and how he cut himself once and never wanted to do it again. Chad didn't look at him in disgust, just pulled him into a hug saying "thanks for telling me and I don't care if your gay I still wanna be your friend". Jared never felt more relieved in his life. He was finally accepted as himself rather then the image his family constructed for him.
Jared liked where he worked. It was close to home, only about a five-minute walk and the shops near by had everything he would ever need to survive. It was like a mini mall. It had a grocery store, a video store, a take away, newsagency and a music shop. Not that Jared went into the stores very much but if he needed anything, he could always find it there. The neighborhood was known to be bad but you could still find the odd friendly person. The customers were always nice at work. Mostly women or elderly people. Sometimes he would help carry groceries to their cars or if they lived close by, their homes.
Today was no different to any other day. He was stocking shelves, serving customers and having a chat with Eileen, a Friday regular. He became known as the bag boy through out the local community, always offering and assisting with peoples bags. It wasn't always elderly people either, some people would just have their hands full. Like the woman, that he served just after three this afternoon. She was far from elderly or disabled, probably around 40 years old. She didn't have enough arms for all her bags. Therefore, Jared being the guy he is offered to help.
Turns out Ms. Ackles only lived a block away, not far really. On the way to her house they chatted back and forth, both happy for the light conversation. It ended up being a really quick walk, especially when they cut through a side street and a alley. Jared couldn't believe her house. It's the tiniest house on the street but it was so much bigger than his one room flat. It had a nice green lawn and beautiful roses growing in the front garden. They might live in a crappy neighbour hood but they knew how to make it look decent and respectable.
It was nice to see something so peaceful. Jared entered the kitchen and placed the bags on the kitchen bench. He was just getting ready to say goodbye when Ms. Ackles introduced her son
Jensen had it pretty good. Sure there was others who were better off then him but he had a loving family, a roof over his head and some real friends. He lived with his momma, brother and sister. His dad left them just after Jensen was born. He worked in a music shop next to his local store and worked with his two best friends Chris and Steve. Jensen's pay covered the rent and most of the food while his Momma's pay covered the rest. He hung out with Chris and Steve at bars and clubs, and his Momma didn't mind if he brang company home just as long as they're quiet. His Momma didn't care that he occasionally brought guys home just as long as they're gone before everyone one else was up. Jensen had life pretty good.
"Jared, this is my son Jensen." Jared stuck his hand out and Jensen did the same. Jared was amazed at how soft Jensen's hand felt even with a firm handshake.
"Nice to meet you Jensen. Now if you excuse me I must really get back to work." With that, Jared turned to leave again only to have Ms. Ackles stop him.
"Well we don't want you fired." Ms Ackles said with a chuckle and tried to place some money in Jared's hand. "Here Jared thanks for your help."
"Sorry Ms Ackles I can't accept that, it was my pleasure really. I needed the break,"
Ms. Ackles is a little taken a back but agreed anyway "Well if you're sure Jared."
Jared just nodded and said, "I'm sure, its fine. It was nice to meet both of you and have a lovely evening."
Jared closed the door behind him. He got halfway down the street before he heard someone calling out his name. He turned to see Jensen running towards him waving something.
"You left your hat," Jensen said in between breaths. Jared didn't even remember taking it off.
"Ah thank you Jensen." Jared took the hat from Jensen's hand and placed it on his head. "Well I should be going I don't think I could handle two pay cuts in one week, my land lord wouldn't be too impressed. See ya round," Jared said turning and walking away.
"You bet." Jensen said as he walked back towards his home.
Jensen didn't know anything about Jared. He didn't know what it was about Jared that made him want to get to know him. They hadn't said more then a hello to each other and already Jensen decided that Jared was somebody he would like to get to know.
Jared spent the last few hours of his shift thinking about how nice Jensen's house was and how Jensen had it pretty good. Jensen didn't live in a one room flat that was his kitchen, bedroom and lounge room. Jensen probably didn't have to do his laundry in a Laundromat and probably didn't live on Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.
By the time Jared got home, he was tired, starving and had a few chores that needed to be done. He decided to pass out on his lounge/bed, and get up an hour earlier tomorrow to do his chores. For right now, he just wanted to get some sleep before the nightmares woke him up.
Chapter 2