Problems I have chosen not to fix
I stress when people don't understand that I'm ill. I try to talk about it so that people know what's going on with me, but there is honestly only so much that I feel like talking about. I'm not going to tell everyone each time my knees buckle or every time my blood sugar is a little weird. That's part of my normal life, and not only is it not worth talking about, but it isn't something that I want to spend energy discussing.
I finally realized that there is a necessary disconnect between what people actually see and what I experience. This is, of course, the case with nearly everyone. However, because of the difference between how I appear to others and the minute to minute reality of my life, other people just are not going to understand what my life is like. Of course, they are going to misunderstand how ill I am. There is going to be a certain level of cognitive dissonance when dealing with the difference between what they perceive and what I tell them about being ill. That is going to make it even harder for them to understand my illness.
So, I'm going to make an effort to be more chill when faced with people who think that disability = vacation or who think I should try working (and lie to the government about it) or any of the other unhelpful things people suggest. It is okay. They don't understand, and I'm not willing to make the effort to constantly show them what it means to be chronically ill. I don't do a good job ignoring things, but in this case, I have already made the choice not to fix the problem, so I have to accept that the problem won't be fixed.
When I do yoga in the morning and the instructor suggests setting an intention for the day, I'm going to try to remember that my intention should be: I will try to be chill about problems I have chosen not to fix.
(Cross-posted to Facebook)
I finally realized that there is a necessary disconnect between what people actually see and what I experience. This is, of course, the case with nearly everyone. However, because of the difference between how I appear to others and the minute to minute reality of my life, other people just are not going to understand what my life is like. Of course, they are going to misunderstand how ill I am. There is going to be a certain level of cognitive dissonance when dealing with the difference between what they perceive and what I tell them about being ill. That is going to make it even harder for them to understand my illness.
So, I'm going to make an effort to be more chill when faced with people who think that disability = vacation or who think I should try working (and lie to the government about it) or any of the other unhelpful things people suggest. It is okay. They don't understand, and I'm not willing to make the effort to constantly show them what it means to be chronically ill. I don't do a good job ignoring things, but in this case, I have already made the choice not to fix the problem, so I have to accept that the problem won't be fixed.
When I do yoga in the morning and the instructor suggests setting an intention for the day, I'm going to try to remember that my intention should be: I will try to be chill about problems I have chosen not to fix.
(Cross-posted to Facebook)