just hope i never become diabetic, that would throw the whole plan off.

[buttman_strikes]

i figured it out. i'm a total wreck and to prove otherwise is impossible. (and by total wreck i mean i've gone down hill in many aspects of my life since a while back) if you disagree then it's probably because you don't know the half of it.

now all i need to do is find a plan of action. but first i need to decide how i feel about me being a wreck. i could feel,
a. happy
b. sad
c. indifferent

i guess i'm somewhere in the b to c range... every once in a while i could swear i'm a, but that's just the chocolate i think.

so now i have some options for what to do about this, i could:
a. do nothing
b. blow things up
c. cry and write in my diary
d. send out christmas cards
e. eat a bag of chocolate everyday for the rest of my life
f. set some standards for myself and slowly work back to something i respect
g. cut my leg off.

now, obviously, d and g are totally out of the question, i'm sure you noticed that yourself. and while choice c may be cathartic, it's not really my bag (and no this journal is not a diary, that would just be silly). choice a, on the other hand, is quite tempting, as well as b. the only issue with b is that it's going to be tough to locate some dynamite. so i'm left with a, e, and f. oh did i say f? no no, f is definitely not an option, requires too much motivation. ok, so e and a. actually, i could do both if i just make a slight amendment to a, making it "do nothing except eat a bag of chocolate every day for the rest of my life." then i will always have that happy feeling.

well there we have it. problem solved.