Good things
The psychiatrist thing was very good. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, PTSD, ADHD and alcoholism.
I agree with them all.
We're treating each part separately and taking steps, first it's the bipolar.
I am now taking geodon, which is working well for having been 3 days.
The doctor gave me a TON of samples so that I wouldn't have to pay for a prescription, which really helps and rocks and is great.
I got a tattoo yesterday, I'll post pictures under a cut.
It's my yellow bird, you know, the one that I've been waiting for.
Figure that one out.
Today Phil got me a netbook since my backpack got stolen...which means I lost notebooks, my laptop, pictures, books, the disc from the wedding photographer with all of the wedding pictures, which I had yet to look at.
It really sucked, but I can't do anything about it so I'm not freaking out.
See? Medication is working.
I'm not overly stressed about things I can't change.
I'm getting nervous about going to Utah and seeing Billy. Being with Billy.
It's been a long time and I think it's possible that we've distorted each other to ourselves.
In our minds.
I know I have a habit of remembering people far better than they ever really were, and that gets me into trouble.
Not saying that Billy isn't wonderful, that's not what I mean at all.
I'm just...nervous.
Aisy is such a toddler. She throws tantrums, screams, "NO!" sings songs that she makes up herself, sings songs that she didn't make up. She can sing most of her ABC's, she can also recognize most of the letters, which I find totally impressive. She's my little genius girl.
She's my little genius girl and I just can't believe that Billy isn't here to see her grow.
I am resentful of him for that...for leaving her for so long.
I know she'll be fine and it needed to happen, but it still upsets me a little that he didn't help teach her things like twinkle twinkle little star, or what dinosaurs say. [roar]
Phil did both of those things.
And Aisy's obsessions right now are dinosaurs and robots.
She LOVES them and freaks out at the mere mention of either.
It's kind of adorable.
No, it's totally adorable, let's be honest.
I'm going to go eat dinner because Phil has made some very delicious smelling, garlicy, gluten-free pasta for me.
OH, speaking of which, I measured myself today and I'm 5'6? WTF?
Where do these random ass inches keep coming from?!
I'm getting tall and that's weird because I was always the short girl and I wore that like a badge.
Weird shit.
It also puts my BMI at 16.3 as opposed to 17.3.......
So yeah.
I'm going to go eat dinner now.
OH OH OH, yeah. and due to my alcoholism, I'm hav8ing to wean myself from alcohol, which is a bitch but needs to happen.
it's been 3 drinks a night for 3 days, then it's going to be 2 drinks a night for 3 days then 1 drink for three days then a half of a drink for 3 days and then no more alcohol for me. Ever.
This is going to be hard.
//.stardust
I agree with them all.
We're treating each part separately and taking steps, first it's the bipolar.
I am now taking geodon, which is working well for having been 3 days.
The doctor gave me a TON of samples so that I wouldn't have to pay for a prescription, which really helps and rocks and is great.
I got a tattoo yesterday, I'll post pictures under a cut.
It's my yellow bird, you know, the one that I've been waiting for.
Figure that one out.
Today Phil got me a netbook since my backpack got stolen...which means I lost notebooks, my laptop, pictures, books, the disc from the wedding photographer with all of the wedding pictures, which I had yet to look at.
It really sucked, but I can't do anything about it so I'm not freaking out.
See? Medication is working.
I'm not overly stressed about things I can't change.
I'm getting nervous about going to Utah and seeing Billy. Being with Billy.
It's been a long time and I think it's possible that we've distorted each other to ourselves.
In our minds.
I know I have a habit of remembering people far better than they ever really were, and that gets me into trouble.
Not saying that Billy isn't wonderful, that's not what I mean at all.
I'm just...nervous.
Aisy is such a toddler. She throws tantrums, screams, "NO!" sings songs that she makes up herself, sings songs that she didn't make up. She can sing most of her ABC's, she can also recognize most of the letters, which I find totally impressive. She's my little genius girl.
She's my little genius girl and I just can't believe that Billy isn't here to see her grow.
I am resentful of him for that...for leaving her for so long.
I know she'll be fine and it needed to happen, but it still upsets me a little that he didn't help teach her things like twinkle twinkle little star, or what dinosaurs say. [roar]
Phil did both of those things.
And Aisy's obsessions right now are dinosaurs and robots.
She LOVES them and freaks out at the mere mention of either.
It's kind of adorable.
No, it's totally adorable, let's be honest.
I'm going to go eat dinner because Phil has made some very delicious smelling, garlicy, gluten-free pasta for me.
OH, speaking of which, I measured myself today and I'm 5'6? WTF?
Where do these random ass inches keep coming from?!
I'm getting tall and that's weird because I was always the short girl and I wore that like a badge.
Weird shit.
It also puts my BMI at 16.3 as opposed to 17.3.......
So yeah.
I'm going to go eat dinner now.
OH OH OH, yeah. and due to my alcoholism, I'm hav8ing to wean myself from alcohol, which is a bitch but needs to happen.
it's been 3 drinks a night for 3 days, then it's going to be 2 drinks a night for 3 days then 1 drink for three days then a half of a drink for 3 days and then no more alcohol for me. Ever.
This is going to be hard.
//.stardust