Every inch you see is bruised
I finally have an appointment with my head doctor. March 7th can't get here fast enough. I know I will be put on medication. And I am alright with that. I can't keep doing what Im doing now. It just doesnt work. Im always paranoid, tired, upset, depressed and worst of all having flashbacks everyday now. They suck. You have no idea what it's like to see what I see. It's crazy. I smile watching Allysin l;earn to crawl and at the same time Im trying to not cringe from the all to real memory playing out inside my head. Its confussing as fucking hell. I hate it. I hate where my mind is these days.
I needed to vent before I began writting. If I dont clear my emotions it affects my thought process for writting. I am determined to revise Atropine and Arsenic for the final time. I plan to use the people around me as influence for it's final characters. I hope they all consent. I need a few volunteer beta readers as well. I plan to ask Pixi and JByrd of course. But other then those two i'm not sure, They are the only two who would not be focsed on making the story all about their characters. They would also be the only two I know who I can trust to be completely honost with me on what they think about the story and where I can improve.
Wish me luck all
Sephy