Waking...
Today I woke up 2 minutes early. Just enough time to realize that I should turn off that damn annoying alarm before it...AHHHH. Goddamn alarm. So began this day seemingly reminiscent of an old life. Its like waking up to find an old friend waiting to give you presents, cept with no friend or presents. Good none the less. My shower wasn't particularly warm. I was a few minutes late to Orgo and I had to skip Math to finish up my Lab report. For some reason I felt good. Jittery even. As though some bleakness had lifted from my life. I don't know what to say.
Its like, believing in nothing and finally coming to terms with it. Except, I have beliefs and they aren't in nothing. Its hard to explain.
I determined though, my need to try. Its not that I'm a slacker or bored with subjects. Its just that I don't care. Of course one can argue whether or not being a slacker causes you to not care but I say no. If I cared I would try, because I have in the past whereas now I don't care so much. In lieu of becoming some dark part of myself, I say fuck it, we all die in the end. I, however, don't want to die, which only causes me to try hard enough to not have to worry about dying. Think Office Space except replace Peter's job with my life. I want to try, I know I should but I can't try to try. It just doesn't work so much.
Well on a more casual note as to my life:
There's a girl. And I like her. A lot. For her I try. Why need a better reason?
Its like, believing in nothing and finally coming to terms with it. Except, I have beliefs and they aren't in nothing. Its hard to explain.
I determined though, my need to try. Its not that I'm a slacker or bored with subjects. Its just that I don't care. Of course one can argue whether or not being a slacker causes you to not care but I say no. If I cared I would try, because I have in the past whereas now I don't care so much. In lieu of becoming some dark part of myself, I say fuck it, we all die in the end. I, however, don't want to die, which only causes me to try hard enough to not have to worry about dying. Think Office Space except replace Peter's job with my life. I want to try, I know I should but I can't try to try. It just doesn't work so much.
Well on a more casual note as to my life:
There's a girl. And I like her. A lot. For her I try. Why need a better reason?