Closed-eye rambling journal

[buny81]

If I close my eyes, will the words come easier, form themselves in the darkness that cloaks my eyes from the glare of the computer screen? If I close my eyes will I hear something in the void that would inspire me to change my direction, perhaps in the middle of one sentence or at the end of another? Perhaps my fingers know their way around this computer board a bit easier than my mind does around the letters each an individual piece of the next word, getting in the way when my mind is singing on through the stream of thought. a bit of orange pulp clings to the very back of my tongue and I swallow it down, a bit less cool and sweet than it was when it flowed from the ceramic unfeeling lip of the mug into my warm, supple lips. The new age radio station helps me to focus thoughts that would otherwise be lost if my eyes were to be open and staring blankly at this screen It’s so hard to ignore the time typos as I go because I hate making mistakes and I especially hate letting them go. However I cannot break the flow sometimes I lose the word I meant to type and something entirely different comes out because my fingers know the pattern of familiar words better than the pattern of my ever changing and flowing thoughts. But my mind, my mind knows where the fingers are and where they should be and most times I can correct the mistakes ore at least type the right letter even if it is too late to go back and erase the wrong ones. I have not written in so long it feels as thought the fingers and my mind are connected without my conscious act of typing my thoughts word for word. Ideas come forth to the screen rather than words or lines. Whole images and concepts seem to just spur forward like oil sliding across the surface of water. My fingers continue to dance without me even knowing where they’re going all the time ( most of the time)_ and now I can’t imagine writing s a single thing with my eyes open, but I’m not even sure I’ll be able to read this what with the non-attention to the typos and such. When I close my eyes I feel more connected to myself than when I can see all the concerns of daily life around me pulling my thoughts away from the more important task of examining them. Now I fear to break the spell by opening my eyes…I don’t want to see the typos and lose the magic of this deep trancelike writing.

When I write like this I lean my head to the right….I know that the more creative portion of the brain is on the left. I wonder if I am giving it more or less nourishment by crooking my neck that way… I am opening up the main artery up the neck and my breathing is not entirely restricted. Still I almost feel like I’m floating ion this right side of my brain. I won’t leave orange juice in the fridge unopened again…it tastes slightly like pepper jack cheese. And that’s just kinda nasty.