im such a dumbass...
so i fucked up and started reading his WHOLE ENTIRE LJ...wtf is wrong with me...so as im sittin here reading all i do is cry...jus finding out more about him...things he kept from me...why? why cant i get past him...why?? i dont understand myself...although i do know that i HAVE realized ALOTTA things within the last weeks...but all i want to do is look past that...i understand you cant be with someone right now...but i jus cant seem to leave the thought of you alone...it creeps back into my mind with jus the slightest thought...i try to leave you alone but i just cant...its jus harder than what it seems...its not that ive fallen "in love" too fast...its jus that i found someone that truely cared for me...someone that i actually liked and started to care for deeply...what the fuck am i gonna do...i need a fucking bowl SO bad right now...no...i need him to hold me...and tell me it will be alright...that everything is okay...i hate this feeling...i never thought that it would be so hard...i know that i am a strong person...but this has totally fucked me up...damn it...its 3 in the morning...i want my mother...why does she have to be asleep...she would know exactly what to say to make me feel slightly better...i jus cant take anymore right now...but everything fucking reminds me of you...i cant block it out...i jus cant...i wish you would call me tomorrow and talk to me...at least have more closer than what you have given me...omg i miss you...too much...way too much for my own good...ive tried to find that same feeling elsewhere that you gave me...but its not the same...ive tried to have fun without you...i mean i have...but its not that same cause you arent there...god damn it...