American Idol - The Finals - 5/24/11
Carrie Underwood - age 8. David Cook - age 10. Audition shots of Scotty and Lauren, who are just slightly older than that. Scotty at age 8, Lauren at 10. Seacrest dressed as Michael Buffer. Let the manipulation begin!
Enter the judges, who I have grown to hate this year. Steven Tyler has killed an entire zoo to make the printed shirt he has on, J Lo is waiting for shift at Medieval Times to end, and Randy Jackson is wearing my grandmother's couch, and missing his top hat.
Audience shots of the top 12, and OH MY GOSH! David Archuleta. 7000 are here tonight for Nashville Star tonight's finale, and they're the youngest ever! Enter the finalists...Scotty in a Wal-Mart T-shirt, and Lauren in seventeen layers of upscale Oakland Raider fan gear. Oh, but wait: Lauren has vocal issues. Dr. George Constanza, dressed in black scrubs, says she blew out a vocal cord, but they've treated her with Ritalin, Nyquil, and Red Bull, so she should be OK.
Six songs by these two? Someone get me the No-Doz. The first round is the contestant's favorite song of the year, followed by "Idols' Choice", where the personal idols of Scotty and Lauren will choose (I envision Scotty singing "It's Howdy Doody Time"), and the last round is the "first single", chosen by Jimmy Iovine. No word as to when Will.I.Ever.Leave shows up.
Scotty won the coin toss, but let Lauren choose who would sing first? Anybody else not buying this crap? You ALWAYS take the pimp spot if you can. Remember, Scotty was never in the bottom three. Never. Think they're afraid of a blowout in the voting? Because unless Lauren has been hiding a lot more than Twinkie wrappers this year. this has Jordin/Blake written all over it.
Scotty enters through the audience with Montgomery Gentry's "Gone", which is definitely a smart choice - it showcases the little range he has without going into an octave he can't reach. It's also probably the only time he's going to move more than a few inches on stage all night. This feels a lot like last week, with Haley's Led Zeppelin song leading off, though...it gives everyone fifty minutes to forget about what may be the best performance of the night. And if you're a Scotty fan (and I'm not), this is as good as he can get when up tempo.
No judges' commentary? More shenanigans afoot. Did Nigel forget to write their notes while working on the premiere of SYTYCD? Hmm.
Lauren follows with "Flat on the Floor"...she strives for attitude with the hip shaking, head tossing performance. She's not pushing for volume, but the notes are mostly there, although her voice is noticeably thinning out towards the end of the song. Anyone else notice this: When J Lo starts to rock out, she IMMEDIATELY stops any time the camera comes her way? Every. Single. Time. It's a decent job by Lauren, but Scotty clearly ruled round one.
Judges? No? OK, let's move on to the second round of "The Coronation of Queen Lauren."
Enter the judges, who I have grown to hate this year. Steven Tyler has killed an entire zoo to make the printed shirt he has on, J Lo is waiting for shift at Medieval Times to end, and Randy Jackson is wearing my grandmother's couch, and missing his top hat.
Audience shots of the top 12, and OH MY GOSH! David Archuleta. 7000 are here tonight for Nashville Star tonight's finale, and they're the youngest ever! Enter the finalists...Scotty in a Wal-Mart T-shirt, and Lauren in seventeen layers of upscale Oakland Raider fan gear. Oh, but wait: Lauren has vocal issues. Dr. George Constanza, dressed in black scrubs, says she blew out a vocal cord, but they've treated her with Ritalin, Nyquil, and Red Bull, so she should be OK.
Six songs by these two? Someone get me the No-Doz. The first round is the contestant's favorite song of the year, followed by "Idols' Choice", where the personal idols of Scotty and Lauren will choose (I envision Scotty singing "It's Howdy Doody Time"), and the last round is the "first single", chosen by Jimmy Iovine. No word as to when Will.I.Ever.Leave shows up.
Scotty won the coin toss, but let Lauren choose who would sing first? Anybody else not buying this crap? You ALWAYS take the pimp spot if you can. Remember, Scotty was never in the bottom three. Never. Think they're afraid of a blowout in the voting? Because unless Lauren has been hiding a lot more than Twinkie wrappers this year. this has Jordin/Blake written all over it.
Scotty enters through the audience with Montgomery Gentry's "Gone", which is definitely a smart choice - it showcases the little range he has without going into an octave he can't reach. It's also probably the only time he's going to move more than a few inches on stage all night. This feels a lot like last week, with Haley's Led Zeppelin song leading off, though...it gives everyone fifty minutes to forget about what may be the best performance of the night. And if you're a Scotty fan (and I'm not), this is as good as he can get when up tempo.
No judges' commentary? More shenanigans afoot. Did Nigel forget to write their notes while working on the premiere of SYTYCD? Hmm.
Lauren follows with "Flat on the Floor"...she strives for attitude with the hip shaking, head tossing performance. She's not pushing for volume, but the notes are mostly there, although her voice is noticeably thinning out towards the end of the song. Anyone else notice this: When J Lo starts to rock out, she IMMEDIATELY stops any time the camera comes her way? Every. Single. Time. It's a decent job by Lauren, but Scotty clearly ruled round one.
Judges? No? OK, let's move on to the second round of "The Coronation of Queen Lauren."