American Idol Results Show - 5/19/11
As tempting as it is to fast forward ahead to the last five minutes of the show, I'm not going to do it. Of course, that doesn't stop Jimmy Freaking Iovine from telling us Scotty will be in the finals in the opening segment: "A guy will be in it." Well, unless Haley has been secretly pulling a Lady Gaga on us all year, this means Scotty is in, and the next fifty-nine minutes will be spent wondering if the Judges Pet is in, or if Haley somehow managed to convince people to come through for her.
Home visit montage, even though we'll see it all again later. Jimmy says we had 95 million votes. Maybe in 2012 we should run our presidential election through Idol: "If you want to vote for Barack, dial 866-RULER-01..." The judges enter...Randy is in a Steven Tyler type of black and white sports coat, J Lo has a see through top with high waisted shorts, and Tyler is in a pair of gold and brown pants that are just the right shade to cover up any incontinence issues.
Audience shots...Lusky Stank, the Latina that no one remembers, Casey, Stefano...Seacrest mentions the 95 million again, and the top 3 come in. Scotty is back to the T-shirt/Members Only jacket combo, Lauren in some sky blue Avon Lady jacket, as Haley is per usual plus a crystal tiara...might not want to wear that crown just yet, O Entitled One.
The Top 4 (didn't James go home last week?) visit Bad Robot Productions, since JJ Abrams produces another show on Fox, and has a movie coming out. Abrams looks like that kid you went to high school that was into Magic: The Gathering and comic books, and now has more money than the rest of us combined. The movie is called "Super 8", and I'm a bit worried about being able to follow it, since I missed Super 1-7. In an extended commercial, the four watch scenes from the movie...looks like a mix of Stand By Me, Independence Day, and Blair Witch, but I won't know for sure until it his DVD. Abrams gives them all actual Super 8 cameras to be used for the home visits. Scotty and James start imitating Randy: "JJ is IN IT TO WIN IT, BABY!"
Back in the studio, we see Naima, Paul, and the others mentioned earlier. Seacrest is with Elle Culkin Fanning, who is in the movie. Evidently her cousin adores Scotty.
Center stage - two gold stools. Results? Nah. We've still got 38 minutes to go.
Haley goes home to Wheeling, IL. She curses at seeing her limo. "Gimme Shelter"? Did Scorsese produce this segment? Is Haley about to die at the hands of a dirty cop or the mob? (We can only hope.) Haley Reinhart Day. Rain. Goofy bit with the security guy pretending to cry. Family home. Parade, why she smugly asks why it's raining on her parade. Shirtless guys with "HA-LE-Y" written on their chests. High school gym. Arlington Park, where she somehow manages to confuse 8000 people with 30,000. A visit to the paint store, where Lee DeWyze has been promoted to assistant manager. She blasts through "Sweet Home Chicago" with her dad on stage. Security guard gets face time back in the studio.
After Seacrest interacts with a young girl, the Automaker Commercial shown, with the top 3 doing "Smile", while visiting the beach with their flip cameras. So much for the Super 8s. Does Lauren even HAVE a drivers' license?
Hey! Since this is AMERICAN Idol, and all about cross promotion, let's show a group that no one has ever heard of, may not speak English, but seems to be popular overseas! Il Volo, which is Italian for "Jonas Brothers", comes out to sing an oddly Cuban version of "O Sole Mio". The middle kid is Vinnie DelPino from "Doogie Howser", the kid with the glasses is on the Italian version of "Big Bang Theory", and the fat kid on the right is on Italy's "Two and a Half Men. What is the Italian word for "winning"? Can they sing? Maybe. We'll never know if it's real. My reaction: I'll have the #4 with meatballs, please, and some extra garlic bread. After the break, the geeky one and Randy trade glasses. I guess he's "IN ESSA PER VINCERE!"
Scotty goes home to Garner, NC, over Elvis' "Burning Love". Radio station. Screaming girls. Family home. High school. Pitching mound. In the limo, he melts down. Grocery store where he used to work. Local concert. He of course sings "Your Man" again, but this time he is interrupted by Josh Turner...Scotty loses it again, and humbly offers the mic to Turner. They both sing it. He cries again. This segment actually makes him more likeable, as opposed to his predecessor.
A Pussycat Doll and Fiddy are here to do "Right There"...hopefully Fiddy won't mix up the lyrics and start doing "Right Thurr". Shredded dress, nearly a wardrobe malfunction, sweaty dance tune about sex, horrid rap interlude, and obvious lip sync. This gets played without censure, but "You Oughta Know" gets rewritten two years in a row? Hmmm...Wonder how Ben Folds and Shawn Stockman feel right about now? Nicole Scherzinger is going to host "The X Factor?" It all makes sense now.
Lauren goes home to Rossville, GA, which is almost in Tennessee. Radio show. Police escort. Autographs. Home. High school. Side trip to see the devastation from the tornadoes, where she meets an 11-year-old hero who saved his family. A lot of tears. Parade. Sings "Anyway". First pitch at a Chattanooga Lookouts game.
Results? All three come to center stage, and we find out...after the break. Nice one, Seacrest...it's been a while.
The first person in the finals is Scotty, of course. Worst kept secret since Ellen came out. That leaves Lauren and Haley. Both are scared. Joining Scotty in the finals is...
Lauren Alaina.
Freeze frame on Haley...she looks stunned, but she also looks PISSED. And that lasts for more than just a moment. And in a nutshell, this is why she lost. If America perceives you as arrogant, whether justified or not, you're not going to win this show. Ask LaToya London, Kat McPhee, or even Pia why they didn't win. If you come across as if "I'm above this and don't have to play these games", it will eventually come full circle and bite you in the butt. By auditioning for this, you already admit that you'll play the game, so don't try to have it both ways. Taylor Hicks hid that part of himself well enough to win. David Cook started playing when he realized he could win.
Haley's highlights play, and she sings/shouts "Benny and the Jets". She "rocked it out...had a blast." Goes to the judges, (where J Lo seems a bit happier than she should be), slips Steven her phone number, visits the fallen Idols, and goes to her dad. Her parting shot: "This ain't the end of this thing! Shin-dig!" Well, actually it is, Haley. "Bones" is next.
OK, so Scotty and Lauren go the finals, which could be the most boring head to head in Idol history. Expect six songs from them, a duet or two, and the "winners song". Will it be Scotty, the fan favorite, or Lauren, the favorite of Uncle Nigel? See you Tuesday.
Home visit montage, even though we'll see it all again later. Jimmy says we had 95 million votes. Maybe in 2012 we should run our presidential election through Idol: "If you want to vote for Barack, dial 866-RULER-01..." The judges enter...Randy is in a Steven Tyler type of black and white sports coat, J Lo has a see through top with high waisted shorts, and Tyler is in a pair of gold and brown pants that are just the right shade to cover up any incontinence issues.
Audience shots...Lusky Stank, the Latina that no one remembers, Casey, Stefano...Seacrest mentions the 95 million again, and the top 3 come in. Scotty is back to the T-shirt/Members Only jacket combo, Lauren in some sky blue Avon Lady jacket, as Haley is per usual plus a crystal tiara...might not want to wear that crown just yet, O Entitled One.
The Top 4 (didn't James go home last week?) visit Bad Robot Productions, since JJ Abrams produces another show on Fox, and has a movie coming out. Abrams looks like that kid you went to high school that was into Magic: The Gathering and comic books, and now has more money than the rest of us combined. The movie is called "Super 8", and I'm a bit worried about being able to follow it, since I missed Super 1-7. In an extended commercial, the four watch scenes from the movie...looks like a mix of Stand By Me, Independence Day, and Blair Witch, but I won't know for sure until it his DVD. Abrams gives them all actual Super 8 cameras to be used for the home visits. Scotty and James start imitating Randy: "JJ is IN IT TO WIN IT, BABY!"
Back in the studio, we see Naima, Paul, and the others mentioned earlier. Seacrest is with Elle Culkin Fanning, who is in the movie. Evidently her cousin adores Scotty.
Center stage - two gold stools. Results? Nah. We've still got 38 minutes to go.
Haley goes home to Wheeling, IL. She curses at seeing her limo. "Gimme Shelter"? Did Scorsese produce this segment? Is Haley about to die at the hands of a dirty cop or the mob? (We can only hope.) Haley Reinhart Day. Rain. Goofy bit with the security guy pretending to cry. Family home. Parade, why she smugly asks why it's raining on her parade. Shirtless guys with "HA-LE-Y" written on their chests. High school gym. Arlington Park, where she somehow manages to confuse 8000 people with 30,000. A visit to the paint store, where Lee DeWyze has been promoted to assistant manager. She blasts through "Sweet Home Chicago" with her dad on stage. Security guard gets face time back in the studio.
After Seacrest interacts with a young girl, the Automaker Commercial shown, with the top 3 doing "Smile", while visiting the beach with their flip cameras. So much for the Super 8s. Does Lauren even HAVE a drivers' license?
Hey! Since this is AMERICAN Idol, and all about cross promotion, let's show a group that no one has ever heard of, may not speak English, but seems to be popular overseas! Il Volo, which is Italian for "Jonas Brothers", comes out to sing an oddly Cuban version of "O Sole Mio". The middle kid is Vinnie DelPino from "Doogie Howser", the kid with the glasses is on the Italian version of "Big Bang Theory", and the fat kid on the right is on Italy's "Two and a Half Men. What is the Italian word for "winning"? Can they sing? Maybe. We'll never know if it's real. My reaction: I'll have the #4 with meatballs, please, and some extra garlic bread. After the break, the geeky one and Randy trade glasses. I guess he's "IN ESSA PER VINCERE!"
Scotty goes home to Garner, NC, over Elvis' "Burning Love". Radio station. Screaming girls. Family home. High school. Pitching mound. In the limo, he melts down. Grocery store where he used to work. Local concert. He of course sings "Your Man" again, but this time he is interrupted by Josh Turner...Scotty loses it again, and humbly offers the mic to Turner. They both sing it. He cries again. This segment actually makes him more likeable, as opposed to his predecessor.
A Pussycat Doll and Fiddy are here to do "Right There"...hopefully Fiddy won't mix up the lyrics and start doing "Right Thurr". Shredded dress, nearly a wardrobe malfunction, sweaty dance tune about sex, horrid rap interlude, and obvious lip sync. This gets played without censure, but "You Oughta Know" gets rewritten two years in a row? Hmmm...Wonder how Ben Folds and Shawn Stockman feel right about now? Nicole Scherzinger is going to host "The X Factor?" It all makes sense now.
Lauren goes home to Rossville, GA, which is almost in Tennessee. Radio show. Police escort. Autographs. Home. High school. Side trip to see the devastation from the tornadoes, where she meets an 11-year-old hero who saved his family. A lot of tears. Parade. Sings "Anyway". First pitch at a Chattanooga Lookouts game.
Results? All three come to center stage, and we find out...after the break. Nice one, Seacrest...it's been a while.
The first person in the finals is Scotty, of course. Worst kept secret since Ellen came out. That leaves Lauren and Haley. Both are scared. Joining Scotty in the finals is...
Lauren Alaina.
Freeze frame on Haley...she looks stunned, but she also looks PISSED. And that lasts for more than just a moment. And in a nutshell, this is why she lost. If America perceives you as arrogant, whether justified or not, you're not going to win this show. Ask LaToya London, Kat McPhee, or even Pia why they didn't win. If you come across as if "I'm above this and don't have to play these games", it will eventually come full circle and bite you in the butt. By auditioning for this, you already admit that you'll play the game, so don't try to have it both ways. Taylor Hicks hid that part of himself well enough to win. David Cook started playing when he realized he could win.
Haley's highlights play, and she sings/shouts "Benny and the Jets". She "rocked it out...had a blast." Goes to the judges, (where J Lo seems a bit happier than she should be), slips Steven her phone number, visits the fallen Idols, and goes to her dad. Her parting shot: "This ain't the end of this thing! Shin-dig!" Well, actually it is, Haley. "Bones" is next.
OK, so Scotty and Lauren go the finals, which could be the most boring head to head in Idol history. Expect six songs from them, a duet or two, and the "winners song". Will it be Scotty, the fan favorite, or Lauren, the favorite of Uncle Nigel? See you Tuesday.