mooooooooooooove me
i now have two cows that sit atop my loveseat and make me smile :-)
mooisha and uttercow
ohhh mark
always a smile
this week's lesson: stop beating yourself up
yesterday in my voice lesson sandra told me she knew it was bad that she didn't see me last week after my recital because she knew i was just beating the shit out of myself. i was much better than i let myself believe. it wasn't until about half way through our discussion that i realized that i hadn't even though about "mignon's song" since my recital, and that was most definitely my best piece. hell, i nailed it. it was amazing. and i hadn't even thought about it once. my assignment for voice this week is to go through my entire program and write down all of the things i did well. i'm supposed to make two copies - one for sandra, and one to put wherever i need to put it to motivate me.
not gonna lie, i still wasn't feeling all that great about it after my lesson. seriously, the things that i remember people saying afterwards... it wasn't the good stuff. i remember someone telling me that i did so much better on the german than the english. not that that either part was good. just that the german was better. i remember those who left without saying a word to me. i remember the negative, or at least the not positive. i don't really remember the good things that people said. sandra forced me to hear positives. and since i record my lessons, i recorded the good things as well.
it really hit me this morning how much i focus on the negative. i was playing through my chopin piece at my horn lesson. peter seemed surprised at my improvement. he had very little to critique. when he told me how great it was, he looked at me and said that it looked like i didn't agree. i didn't. i mean, it was all just little things. it's like i can never see through my imperfections. i was beating myself up through the entire piece over the little tiny things that weren't perfect, and i didn't even let myself hear the beautiful music i was making. if i'm ever going to get anywhere in life, i need to fix this.
i've heard peter make mistakes. all kinds of mistakes. i can make them too.
and be happy with myself.
mooisha and uttercow
ohhh mark
always a smile
this week's lesson: stop beating yourself up
yesterday in my voice lesson sandra told me she knew it was bad that she didn't see me last week after my recital because she knew i was just beating the shit out of myself. i was much better than i let myself believe. it wasn't until about half way through our discussion that i realized that i hadn't even though about "mignon's song" since my recital, and that was most definitely my best piece. hell, i nailed it. it was amazing. and i hadn't even thought about it once. my assignment for voice this week is to go through my entire program and write down all of the things i did well. i'm supposed to make two copies - one for sandra, and one to put wherever i need to put it to motivate me.
not gonna lie, i still wasn't feeling all that great about it after my lesson. seriously, the things that i remember people saying afterwards... it wasn't the good stuff. i remember someone telling me that i did so much better on the german than the english. not that that either part was good. just that the german was better. i remember those who left without saying a word to me. i remember the negative, or at least the not positive. i don't really remember the good things that people said. sandra forced me to hear positives. and since i record my lessons, i recorded the good things as well.
it really hit me this morning how much i focus on the negative. i was playing through my chopin piece at my horn lesson. peter seemed surprised at my improvement. he had very little to critique. when he told me how great it was, he looked at me and said that it looked like i didn't agree. i didn't. i mean, it was all just little things. it's like i can never see through my imperfections. i was beating myself up through the entire piece over the little tiny things that weren't perfect, and i didn't even let myself hear the beautiful music i was making. if i'm ever going to get anywhere in life, i need to fix this.
i've heard peter make mistakes. all kinds of mistakes. i can make them too.
and be happy with myself.