Kristy and the Mother's Day Surprise Part 1
Hey all! I have been wanting to snark this book for a while and I finally got access to it so yay! I am kind of slow with my snarks so it may be at least a week between parts, but I will try my best. Also, I'm super horrible with computers and with LiveJournal so I apologize for any spacing issues. Anyway... Here's part 1 and I hope you enjoy it! Please leave your thoughts...
--
Chapter 1
Kristy opens the book by saying she's been thinking about families lately and ponders whether or not she has one because what if a family is just a mom, dad, and a kid or two? Is Ann serious? Why would she even introduce this notion that a blended family isn't a real family? Kristy then says that she thinks of Nannie as a one person family. That's nice. Nannie is a part of Kristy’s family... But I guess K-Ron doesn't think so. She then begins to say that her family started out as two separate families that came together but stops because she knows this is confusing... And, how is that confusing? She's saying she has a blended family. It's really not that complicated a concept, or anything unusual. The Brady Bunch came out way before this and covered the same blended family model. You’re not special, K-Ron. You’re not creative, Ann.
I always think it's weird the way the babysitters describe themselves to readers as if we are actually right there in the room talking to them-for example, K-Ron says, “Hi!” Then provides us with the boring introduction to herself, and gets cut off from talking to us by Karen entering the room. I always pictured the girls just sitting in their rooms thinking these descriptions of themselves word for word in their heads.
Anyway, Karen knocks on the door and Kristy says “Who’s there?” Karen says “Oswald” and K. Ron is all confused. What is there to be confused about? She’s clearly telling a knock-knock joke. Here’s the wonderful joke:
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Oswald!
Oswald, who?
Oswald my gum…
Well, at least K. Ron think it’s funny….
K.Ron is a little annoyed to be interrupted as she was “fooling around” in her room. Okay, then. Whatever that means… Karen is all offended cause it’s her first night there and K.Ron is not giving her attention. It’s not all about you, Karen.
K.Ron thinks we are probably wondering why Karen says “this is our first night here.” Considering this is book #24, we are not, K. Ron. But we get explanation anyway. Skim. This somehow launches into club member descriptions. Well, at least this chapter ends sooner!
Chapter 2
Begins with explanation about the club. It’s really sad that all these trees were sacrificed so the same shit can be paraphrased for over 120 of these books (I think it’s that much?) The only thing that stands out is that this book falls during the time period after Stacey moves back to NY. This will be important later.
Mallory doodles in one of Claudia’s sketchbooks and Jessi leafs through one of her shoe boxes. Um, invasive, much? Even with close friends, there are boundaries! Jessi finds M&M’s in the box, and Claudia is forced to share her candy yet again. I’m not sure I’d want to eat candy that was just sitting in my friend’s room for God knows how long, but to each his own. Claudia gives the Pain in the Ass some whole-wheat crackers instead. Who else thinks it’s really nice of Claud to not only share her candy but to buy healthy foods, which she doesn’t even eat, for Dawn?
Kristy refers to the BSC as a family- or, a cult, but however you wish to interpret it, K. Ron. Although I kind of don’t blame K. Ron for having an incorrect interpretation of a family given the shit that goes down in her family later.
Kristy realizes that is almost Mother’s Day and Mallory is all annoyed about gifts because her siblings give Mrs. P shitty gifts. And.. who cares? They’re kids. It’s not like they have the money for anything good, and mothers love the art projects and other things their little kids give them. My mom couldn’t get enough of my “art.”. What else does Mallory expect little kids to get their mothers? Besides, it’s the thought that counts.
The discussion is interrupted by Mary Anne saying that she never has to think of presents. I feel for her-I really do-but I can’t stand when people are all “woe is me” and have to bring up factors of their life that no one can do anything about, is no one’s fault, and that everyone now has to feel guilty about. The BSC members should not have to feel bad that they have mothers to think about on Mother’s Day. It’s no one’s fault Mary Anne doesn’t have a mother. And do they not mention Father’s Day around Abby? Just curious.
K. Ron does make a good point when she says that teachers should give students the option to make Mother’s Day cards/gifts instead of just announcing that that’s the sole activity for the day. She then says,
“We feel bad for her but we don’t quite know what to say. Sorry your mother died? Sorry the greeting card people invented Mother’s Day and you have to feel bad once a year? Sorry we have moms and you don’t?”
And that is exactly what I am talking about. Why does Mary Anne have to put them in an awkward position? And why is K. Ron actually making sense? K. Ron never makes sense!
Mrs. Newton calls about Friday afternoon. I really have to wonder if this sitting job will cut into Friday’s meeting. And how K. Ron will treat the member of her “family” who gets the job if that happens.
Chapter 3
Charlie arrives at Claudia’s to continue his job as chauffer and Kristy points that he has been good about remembering to pick her up and she often worries he may forget to pick her up. I think this is still early enough in the season that Charlie hasn’t started his shindig with Janine and has nothing better to do than to drive Kristy’s ass around.
At dinner that night, everyone in the Thomas-Brewer household is present, which makes Elizabeth emotional. David Michael and Andrew bang their silverware around, which makes Elizabeth’s eyes sparkle even brighter, and I would have punched them because I can’t stand the sound of banging silverware. Sam tells Karen her epidermis is showing and she starts to freak out and calls it “epipotomus” and everybody except Andrew starts laughing at her. I know Karen sucks, but what a great family that they’re making fun of a seven year old who is sincerely freaked out. (I have to admit, I’m 22, and my uncle and I still do the epidermis thing every time we see each other. But we know it’s a joke.) Once Karen figures it out she decides she’s going to tell the joke to everyone in her class tomorrow. I’m sure that will add to her charm and popularity. David Michael starts singing the “beans, beans, they’re good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart” song (except he gets cut off before he can say fart because how inappropriate to include that word in the text). Kristy has to tell him to stop instead of his own mother, who is barely lucid at this point. She dreamily points out how lucky she and Watson are and not-so subtly points out their three extra bedrooms. Sam catches on and asks if Liz is pregnant. She says no, but asks how they would all feel about another brother and sister, not necessarily a baby, and even if I hadn’t read this book or the remainder of the series I would know exactly what she’s implying. The little kids are very verbal about their opposition towards having another baby, and Andrew, who, although the youngest in the family, appears to be the wisest says that they have enough kids in the house. He doesn’t want to be a Duggar. K.Ron, of course, thinks another baby would be great. She’s probably dreaming about the talent shows she can force the baby into as soon as it pops out. There is the baby parade Emily Michelle is in… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Kristy is in bed daydreaming about the potential baby. And really, how did you not catch on to the adoption thing by now? Did the words “oh, we didn’t say we want a baby…” not tug at your suspicions at all? She decides Lizzy needs an extra special gift and the world shakes as a famous big idea begins to take shape in K.Ron’s mind.
Chapter 4
At the club meeting the next day, K.Ron announces that she has an idea. She starts to explain that what a mom might want more than anything is to not be a mom for a while and that the cult could give this present to the community mamas. This would be a good idea if the Stoneybrook mothers actually acted like mothers ever.
As K.Ron contemplates how to explain her idea (which is really not all that difficult to explain. “Let’s take the kids out for a day so their mothers could get a break.” Oh, I just did that in a second), she observes her friends’ clothes, so yay, outfits! I’m way too lazy to type out all six so I’ll just write the most notable or interesting ones. Like Dawn’s “I’m Awesome” necklace. I’m… speechless. Dawn is about one of the least awesome people on this Earth. Then Kristy thinks she probably got it in California and why? You can probably get something like that at Claire’s. Though knowing Dawn she probably had it custom made. Also, she’s such an individual because she has double pierced ears with two different sized hoops. How is that individualistic? I know a lot of people with double piercings who wear different sized earrings in them. Not creative Ms. Individual.
Claudia outfit!: “a pretty tame dress… with a red necktie,” roll socks that “fell into three rolls. The top roll was red, the middle one was peacock blue, and the bottom one was purple” (cool! I want those!!!), “a braided band in red, blue, and purple, like her socks” in her hair, and “dangling from her ears were spiders in webs.” This outfit isn’t too outrageous. The socks and hairband sound awesome.
This is a pretty poorly written part, as while she is in the middle of introducing her idea, K.Ron launches into a description of her friends’ outfits, apologizes to us readers about her lack of style (it actually says “I’m sorry. That sort of thing just doesn’t interest me much”), and then immediately starts discussing the idea again.
I’m really not sure how this idea is at all creative. This pretty much just describes a typical weekend for them, I would say. They’re always babysitting and taking the kids out of the house, and they often do group activities. The mothers barely do any mothering; the babysitters pretty much always take their kids out of their hair. So this isn’t as big an idea as K.Ron made it out to be. It isn’t even a new idea at all.
Everyone is really into it (or they’re pretending to be, lest K.Ron tie them to a chair and force Kool-Aid down their throats), and K.Ron is relieved because she often gets carried away and can’t tell whether her ideas are “good or stupid.” Well, luckily you have a brainwashed cult with you because if I were there, I would say “stupid.” But not carried away. You’re describing a typical weekend here. Then again you get carried away with everything you do with your babysitting charges so I guess you are getting carried away with this idea.
Luckily, K.Ron does say that they should do the trip the day before so that they can spend Mother’s Day with their mothers. Because I was about to say, I’m not sure taking children away from their mothers on Mother’s Day is exactly the greatest gift. She steps around Mary Anne again and I already snarked this, but I’m annoyed all over again.
Then something ridiculous happens. K.Ron wants to get the daddies involved somehow, and she says the babies can’t go on the outing so maybe Mr. Newton will “agree” to watch Lucy. Wha---? It’s his CHILD! Why would he “maybe” “agree” to it? That’s his job as the father of a baby. I…can’t. The parents really don’t parent in Stoneybrook.
--
Well, that’s all for now my lovelies. Hope you enjoyed this installment and hopefully another one will be up soon.
--
Chapter 1
Kristy opens the book by saying she's been thinking about families lately and ponders whether or not she has one because what if a family is just a mom, dad, and a kid or two? Is Ann serious? Why would she even introduce this notion that a blended family isn't a real family? Kristy then says that she thinks of Nannie as a one person family. That's nice. Nannie is a part of Kristy’s family... But I guess K-Ron doesn't think so. She then begins to say that her family started out as two separate families that came together but stops because she knows this is confusing... And, how is that confusing? She's saying she has a blended family. It's really not that complicated a concept, or anything unusual. The Brady Bunch came out way before this and covered the same blended family model. You’re not special, K-Ron. You’re not creative, Ann.
I always think it's weird the way the babysitters describe themselves to readers as if we are actually right there in the room talking to them-for example, K-Ron says, “Hi!” Then provides us with the boring introduction to herself, and gets cut off from talking to us by Karen entering the room. I always pictured the girls just sitting in their rooms thinking these descriptions of themselves word for word in their heads.
Anyway, Karen knocks on the door and Kristy says “Who’s there?” Karen says “Oswald” and K. Ron is all confused. What is there to be confused about? She’s clearly telling a knock-knock joke. Here’s the wonderful joke:
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Oswald!
Oswald, who?
Oswald my gum…
Well, at least K. Ron think it’s funny….
K.Ron is a little annoyed to be interrupted as she was “fooling around” in her room. Okay, then. Whatever that means… Karen is all offended cause it’s her first night there and K.Ron is not giving her attention. It’s not all about you, Karen.
K.Ron thinks we are probably wondering why Karen says “this is our first night here.” Considering this is book #24, we are not, K. Ron. But we get explanation anyway. Skim. This somehow launches into club member descriptions. Well, at least this chapter ends sooner!
Chapter 2
Begins with explanation about the club. It’s really sad that all these trees were sacrificed so the same shit can be paraphrased for over 120 of these books (I think it’s that much?) The only thing that stands out is that this book falls during the time period after Stacey moves back to NY. This will be important later.
Mallory doodles in one of Claudia’s sketchbooks and Jessi leafs through one of her shoe boxes. Um, invasive, much? Even with close friends, there are boundaries! Jessi finds M&M’s in the box, and Claudia is forced to share her candy yet again. I’m not sure I’d want to eat candy that was just sitting in my friend’s room for God knows how long, but to each his own. Claudia gives the Pain in the Ass some whole-wheat crackers instead. Who else thinks it’s really nice of Claud to not only share her candy but to buy healthy foods, which she doesn’t even eat, for Dawn?
Kristy refers to the BSC as a family- or, a cult, but however you wish to interpret it, K. Ron. Although I kind of don’t blame K. Ron for having an incorrect interpretation of a family given the shit that goes down in her family later.
Kristy realizes that is almost Mother’s Day and Mallory is all annoyed about gifts because her siblings give Mrs. P shitty gifts. And.. who cares? They’re kids. It’s not like they have the money for anything good, and mothers love the art projects and other things their little kids give them. My mom couldn’t get enough of my “art.”. What else does Mallory expect little kids to get their mothers? Besides, it’s the thought that counts.
The discussion is interrupted by Mary Anne saying that she never has to think of presents. I feel for her-I really do-but I can’t stand when people are all “woe is me” and have to bring up factors of their life that no one can do anything about, is no one’s fault, and that everyone now has to feel guilty about. The BSC members should not have to feel bad that they have mothers to think about on Mother’s Day. It’s no one’s fault Mary Anne doesn’t have a mother. And do they not mention Father’s Day around Abby? Just curious.
K. Ron does make a good point when she says that teachers should give students the option to make Mother’s Day cards/gifts instead of just announcing that that’s the sole activity for the day. She then says,
“We feel bad for her but we don’t quite know what to say. Sorry your mother died? Sorry the greeting card people invented Mother’s Day and you have to feel bad once a year? Sorry we have moms and you don’t?”
And that is exactly what I am talking about. Why does Mary Anne have to put them in an awkward position? And why is K. Ron actually making sense? K. Ron never makes sense!
Mrs. Newton calls about Friday afternoon. I really have to wonder if this sitting job will cut into Friday’s meeting. And how K. Ron will treat the member of her “family” who gets the job if that happens.
Chapter 3
Charlie arrives at Claudia’s to continue his job as chauffer and Kristy points that he has been good about remembering to pick her up and she often worries he may forget to pick her up. I think this is still early enough in the season that Charlie hasn’t started his shindig with Janine and has nothing better to do than to drive Kristy’s ass around.
At dinner that night, everyone in the Thomas-Brewer household is present, which makes Elizabeth emotional. David Michael and Andrew bang their silverware around, which makes Elizabeth’s eyes sparkle even brighter, and I would have punched them because I can’t stand the sound of banging silverware. Sam tells Karen her epidermis is showing and she starts to freak out and calls it “epipotomus” and everybody except Andrew starts laughing at her. I know Karen sucks, but what a great family that they’re making fun of a seven year old who is sincerely freaked out. (I have to admit, I’m 22, and my uncle and I still do the epidermis thing every time we see each other. But we know it’s a joke.) Once Karen figures it out she decides she’s going to tell the joke to everyone in her class tomorrow. I’m sure that will add to her charm and popularity. David Michael starts singing the “beans, beans, they’re good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart” song (except he gets cut off before he can say fart because how inappropriate to include that word in the text). Kristy has to tell him to stop instead of his own mother, who is barely lucid at this point. She dreamily points out how lucky she and Watson are and not-so subtly points out their three extra bedrooms. Sam catches on and asks if Liz is pregnant. She says no, but asks how they would all feel about another brother and sister, not necessarily a baby, and even if I hadn’t read this book or the remainder of the series I would know exactly what she’s implying. The little kids are very verbal about their opposition towards having another baby, and Andrew, who, although the youngest in the family, appears to be the wisest says that they have enough kids in the house. He doesn’t want to be a Duggar. K.Ron, of course, thinks another baby would be great. She’s probably dreaming about the talent shows she can force the baby into as soon as it pops out. There is the baby parade Emily Michelle is in… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Kristy is in bed daydreaming about the potential baby. And really, how did you not catch on to the adoption thing by now? Did the words “oh, we didn’t say we want a baby…” not tug at your suspicions at all? She decides Lizzy needs an extra special gift and the world shakes as a famous big idea begins to take shape in K.Ron’s mind.
Chapter 4
At the club meeting the next day, K.Ron announces that she has an idea. She starts to explain that what a mom might want more than anything is to not be a mom for a while and that the cult could give this present to the community mamas. This would be a good idea if the Stoneybrook mothers actually acted like mothers ever.
As K.Ron contemplates how to explain her idea (which is really not all that difficult to explain. “Let’s take the kids out for a day so their mothers could get a break.” Oh, I just did that in a second), she observes her friends’ clothes, so yay, outfits! I’m way too lazy to type out all six so I’ll just write the most notable or interesting ones. Like Dawn’s “I’m Awesome” necklace. I’m… speechless. Dawn is about one of the least awesome people on this Earth. Then Kristy thinks she probably got it in California and why? You can probably get something like that at Claire’s. Though knowing Dawn she probably had it custom made. Also, she’s such an individual because she has double pierced ears with two different sized hoops. How is that individualistic? I know a lot of people with double piercings who wear different sized earrings in them. Not creative Ms. Individual.
Claudia outfit!: “a pretty tame dress… with a red necktie,” roll socks that “fell into three rolls. The top roll was red, the middle one was peacock blue, and the bottom one was purple” (cool! I want those!!!), “a braided band in red, blue, and purple, like her socks” in her hair, and “dangling from her ears were spiders in webs.” This outfit isn’t too outrageous. The socks and hairband sound awesome.
This is a pretty poorly written part, as while she is in the middle of introducing her idea, K.Ron launches into a description of her friends’ outfits, apologizes to us readers about her lack of style (it actually says “I’m sorry. That sort of thing just doesn’t interest me much”), and then immediately starts discussing the idea again.
I’m really not sure how this idea is at all creative. This pretty much just describes a typical weekend for them, I would say. They’re always babysitting and taking the kids out of the house, and they often do group activities. The mothers barely do any mothering; the babysitters pretty much always take their kids out of their hair. So this isn’t as big an idea as K.Ron made it out to be. It isn’t even a new idea at all.
Everyone is really into it (or they’re pretending to be, lest K.Ron tie them to a chair and force Kool-Aid down their throats), and K.Ron is relieved because she often gets carried away and can’t tell whether her ideas are “good or stupid.” Well, luckily you have a brainwashed cult with you because if I were there, I would say “stupid.” But not carried away. You’re describing a typical weekend here. Then again you get carried away with everything you do with your babysitting charges so I guess you are getting carried away with this idea.
Luckily, K.Ron does say that they should do the trip the day before so that they can spend Mother’s Day with their mothers. Because I was about to say, I’m not sure taking children away from their mothers on Mother’s Day is exactly the greatest gift. She steps around Mary Anne again and I already snarked this, but I’m annoyed all over again.
Then something ridiculous happens. K.Ron wants to get the daddies involved somehow, and she says the babies can’t go on the outing so maybe Mr. Newton will “agree” to watch Lucy. Wha---? It’s his CHILD! Why would he “maybe” “agree” to it? That’s his job as the father of a baby. I…can’t. The parents really don’t parent in Stoneybrook.
--
Well, that’s all for now my lovelies. Hope you enjoyed this installment and hopefully another one will be up soon.