#21 Mallory and the Trouble With Twins Part 1 (Chapters 1-3)
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Anyway, I bought several BSC books on iTunes because fucking duh. I was originally going to do Mary Anne Saves The Day, but a Mallory book was just so much more tempting. Plus, I actually kinda remember this one.
Let's take a look at the cover, shall we?
Dear lord, the Arnold twins look terrible. Not only do the poor girls have those awful pink party dresses, but those fucking curly bowl cuts! Mallory is dressed in a semi-good looking outfit for once and looks like she doesn't give a single shit. Not much else to say, except that there's only six or seven candles on the cake for...some reason. I thought the twins were eight or nine.
Chapter 1:
We open to find Nicky taunting Claire and calling her a kindergarten baby. Fucking hell, I hate most of the Pike kids (except for Vanessa, Byron, and Mal). Such annoying little shits. Apparently the Pikes are heading to the Washington Mall to go shoe shopping. Considering how I find shoe shopping with just one sibling to be agony, I can't imagine how agonizing it would be to shop with seven siblings. Mallory then does the whole blah blah eight kids spiel. She notably highlights how despite the triplets being identical, they seem totes different because of their clothes and personalities. Funny, I always considered Adam and Jordan to be interchangeable as hell. Apparently, Mallory takes great pride in figuring out the ideal seating arrangement for the trip (Margo up front since her only traits are being annoying and vomiting, the triplets in the very back so they can do triplet things, Vanessa by the window in the mid-back so she can daydream, and Mal between Nicky and Claire to break up fights). This is great and all, but I have two problems with it. First is that Mrs. Pike should've been able to figure that out for herself (though considering that she frequently dumps the younger ones on Mal all the time, it makes sense that Mal knows them better). The second is that Mal seems a little too proud of this feat. Then again, she doesn't have a life, so whatever.
Yay, they finally got to the mall. Nicky exclaims that he wants Reeboks or Avias. Nice try, buddy. You're probably going to get cheap shoes, since the Pikes have to stretch the budget for eight kids.
We take a brief break from plot so Mallory can gush about the magical wonderful world that is the mall (seriously, girl, it's a fucking mall and you need to get over it) before the family heads into Antoinette's Shoe Tree. The hell is a shoe tree? Anyway, shoes are purchased and Mal bitches about having to get loafers instead of "cool pink shoes with green trim." I can sort of see where she's coming from, since I have a weird obsession with pink shoes. Every time I see a pair of obnoxiously pink sneakers, I make a beeline for them because, you know, pink. However, I don't think pink and green shoes can be considered "cool" no matter what decade you live in. Loafers are actually more practical and will probably go with much more of your clothes. Plus, you're lucky you got shoes to begin with. There's kids all over the world that have to go around barefoot and would kill to have some loafers to put on their feet.
The Pikes are then allowed to set off on their own, so Mallory is in charge of Claire and Margo. Apparently, Mallory does "fun things", which apparently consist of her looking at shit she's not allowed to have yet (namely hair glitter, makeup, and short skirts). Honey, you're too young for both of those anyway, and hair glitter is stupid. Anyway, she decides to take Claire and Margo to go watch people get their ears pierced. Um, creepy? I can see looking at earrings, but why the hell are you creeping on people who are getting their ears pierced? Blah blah blah more whining when suddenly...chapter 2 stuff in chapter 1! Fuck you, Mal. I've had enough torture already. For whatever reason, she decides to add in whether or not she think each member would be allowed to/would care about getting pierced ears (which I almost typed as "period ears" for some reason). Also, one of the most obvious differences between Jessi and Mal that "don't matter at all" is race. If it doesn't matter, then why the hell are you mentioning it?
Anyway, random girl gets her ear pierced. Claire loses her shit, Margo threatens to puke, Mallory whines, and the chapter ends.
Chapter 2:
Jessi and Mal arrive at Claudia's house for the BSC meeting. We get more chapter 2 crap, this time in the correct chapter. Also, Logan's at the meeting for...some reason. This, of course, causes the two youngest members to act like total derps and thank the heavens that they weren't walking down the hell talking about underwear.
Kristy starts the meeting, and Mal and Jessi sit near Logan (though not too close, lest Mary Anne lose her shit). When the phone rings, Logan reaches to get it, only for Kristy to freak out (complete with arm waving and "mmph, mmph, mmphs"). English, Kristy. Do you speak it? She's worried that the client would flip if they heard a boy on the phone. What, boys can't babysit? I'm pretty sure that if he explained that he was part of the club, he'd be fine. Most of the parents in Stoneybrook are massive derps anyway.
The client in question is Mrs. Arnold, who needs a sitter for her twin daughters (Marilyn and Carolyn) twice a week for the next eight weeks while she does fundraising work. The twins are described as "identical right down to the buckles of their shoes." Oh, dear. Apparently the poor gals are dressed exactly the same, and by their mother. They're eight fucking years old. I think that's old enough to start to make individual outfit choices and develop a sense of style. Anyway, Mal takes the job since she's the only one available. She's excited, because twins and because she thinks she's getting paid per kid. That's not how babysitting works, Mal. You get paid per hour regardless of how many kids there are. I've never babysat for money, and even I know this. With ear piercings and hair cuts dancing in her head, Mal ends the chapter.
Chapter 3:
Mal arrives at the Arnolds' house and compares babysitting a new client to the first day of school. Eh, I can kind of see it. The twins answer the door and are apparently wearing "blue kilts with straps that went over their shoulders, white blouses with lace edging the collars and sleeves, white knee socks, and black patent leather Mary Jane shoes."
Has their mother been hanging out with Mrs. Prezzioso? They also have name bracelets, so Mal is able to tell them apart. Mrs. Arnold comes downstairs and-- dear God, her outfit is a hot mess. Just what is she wearing?:
"She was wearing two necklaces, a pin, bracelets on each wrist, rings, earrings, and even an ankle bracelet. Her stockings were lacey, and she was, well, as Claud might have said, overly accessorized. Practically everything she wore had a bow attached. There were bows on her shoes, a bow on her belt, a bow in her hair, and a bow at the neck of her blouse. Her sweater was beaded, and she hadn't forgotten to pin a fake rose to it. As for cute, her earrings were in the shape of ladybugs, one of her necklaces spelled her name-- Linda-- in gold script, her pin was in the shape of a mouse, and the bow in her hair was a ribbon with a print of tiny ducks all over it."
Some of that actually sounds cute (the bow motif, the ladybug earrings, and the mouse pin in particular), but still. SO. MANY. THINGS. WRONG.
Anyway, Linda talks, twins seem enamored with the Kid-Kits, and Linda leaves. The twins want to go to their room, and after a couple of bracelet checks so Mal can determine who's who, we set off to the land of frou frou pink twinsie hell. At least the room is, apparently, symmetrical.
At least someone likes it.
Mal gets the twins settled with some Paddington books and makes the mistake about how adorably alike they are. This causes all hell to break loose. The twins start speaking what I can only assume to be Simlish with each other, chuck their bracelets onto their beds, run around the room, and start puking pea soup. They challenge Mal to tell them apart, but, of course, she fucking can't. One twin runs out of the room. Mal catches her by the piano and tells her to practice (to confirm if she's Marilyn). Said twin just stares at piano and Mal figures out...le gasp, it's Carolyn! Mal gets Marilyn set up at the piano, and for a brief amount of time, she's relieved. And since I have to do shit that requires me to stop reading, so am I. End Chapter 3.
Comment and give me feedback, if you like.
Let's take a look at the cover, shall we?
Dear lord, the Arnold twins look terrible. Not only do the poor girls have those awful pink party dresses, but those fucking curly bowl cuts! Mallory is dressed in a semi-good looking outfit for once and looks like she doesn't give a single shit. Not much else to say, except that there's only six or seven candles on the cake for...some reason. I thought the twins were eight or nine.
Chapter 1:
We open to find Nicky taunting Claire and calling her a kindergarten baby. Fucking hell, I hate most of the Pike kids (except for Vanessa, Byron, and Mal). Such annoying little shits. Apparently the Pikes are heading to the Washington Mall to go shoe shopping. Considering how I find shoe shopping with just one sibling to be agony, I can't imagine how agonizing it would be to shop with seven siblings. Mallory then does the whole blah blah eight kids spiel. She notably highlights how despite the triplets being identical, they seem totes different because of their clothes and personalities. Funny, I always considered Adam and Jordan to be interchangeable as hell. Apparently, Mallory takes great pride in figuring out the ideal seating arrangement for the trip (Margo up front since her only traits are being annoying and vomiting, the triplets in the very back so they can do triplet things, Vanessa by the window in the mid-back so she can daydream, and Mal between Nicky and Claire to break up fights). This is great and all, but I have two problems with it. First is that Mrs. Pike should've been able to figure that out for herself (though considering that she frequently dumps the younger ones on Mal all the time, it makes sense that Mal knows them better). The second is that Mal seems a little too proud of this feat. Then again, she doesn't have a life, so whatever.
Yay, they finally got to the mall. Nicky exclaims that he wants Reeboks or Avias. Nice try, buddy. You're probably going to get cheap shoes, since the Pikes have to stretch the budget for eight kids.
We take a brief break from plot so Mallory can gush about the magical wonderful world that is the mall (seriously, girl, it's a fucking mall and you need to get over it) before the family heads into Antoinette's Shoe Tree. The hell is a shoe tree? Anyway, shoes are purchased and Mal bitches about having to get loafers instead of "cool pink shoes with green trim." I can sort of see where she's coming from, since I have a weird obsession with pink shoes. Every time I see a pair of obnoxiously pink sneakers, I make a beeline for them because, you know, pink. However, I don't think pink and green shoes can be considered "cool" no matter what decade you live in. Loafers are actually more practical and will probably go with much more of your clothes. Plus, you're lucky you got shoes to begin with. There's kids all over the world that have to go around barefoot and would kill to have some loafers to put on their feet.
The Pikes are then allowed to set off on their own, so Mallory is in charge of Claire and Margo. Apparently, Mallory does "fun things", which apparently consist of her looking at shit she's not allowed to have yet (namely hair glitter, makeup, and short skirts). Honey, you're too young for both of those anyway, and hair glitter is stupid. Anyway, she decides to take Claire and Margo to go watch people get their ears pierced. Um, creepy? I can see looking at earrings, but why the hell are you creeping on people who are getting their ears pierced? Blah blah blah more whining when suddenly...chapter 2 stuff in chapter 1! Fuck you, Mal. I've had enough torture already. For whatever reason, she decides to add in whether or not she think each member would be allowed to/would care about getting pierced ears (which I almost typed as "period ears" for some reason). Also, one of the most obvious differences between Jessi and Mal that "don't matter at all" is race. If it doesn't matter, then why the hell are you mentioning it?
Anyway, random girl gets her ear pierced. Claire loses her shit, Margo threatens to puke, Mallory whines, and the chapter ends.
Chapter 2:
Jessi and Mal arrive at Claudia's house for the BSC meeting. We get more chapter 2 crap, this time in the correct chapter. Also, Logan's at the meeting for...some reason. This, of course, causes the two youngest members to act like total derps and thank the heavens that they weren't walking down the hell talking about underwear.
Kristy starts the meeting, and Mal and Jessi sit near Logan (though not too close, lest Mary Anne lose her shit). When the phone rings, Logan reaches to get it, only for Kristy to freak out (complete with arm waving and "mmph, mmph, mmphs"). English, Kristy. Do you speak it? She's worried that the client would flip if they heard a boy on the phone. What, boys can't babysit? I'm pretty sure that if he explained that he was part of the club, he'd be fine. Most of the parents in Stoneybrook are massive derps anyway.
The client in question is Mrs. Arnold, who needs a sitter for her twin daughters (Marilyn and Carolyn) twice a week for the next eight weeks while she does fundraising work. The twins are described as "identical right down to the buckles of their shoes." Oh, dear. Apparently the poor gals are dressed exactly the same, and by their mother. They're eight fucking years old. I think that's old enough to start to make individual outfit choices and develop a sense of style. Anyway, Mal takes the job since she's the only one available. She's excited, because twins and because she thinks she's getting paid per kid. That's not how babysitting works, Mal. You get paid per hour regardless of how many kids there are. I've never babysat for money, and even I know this. With ear piercings and hair cuts dancing in her head, Mal ends the chapter.
Chapter 3:
Mal arrives at the Arnolds' house and compares babysitting a new client to the first day of school. Eh, I can kind of see it. The twins answer the door and are apparently wearing "blue kilts with straps that went over their shoulders, white blouses with lace edging the collars and sleeves, white knee socks, and black patent leather Mary Jane shoes."
Has their mother been hanging out with Mrs. Prezzioso? They also have name bracelets, so Mal is able to tell them apart. Mrs. Arnold comes downstairs and-- dear God, her outfit is a hot mess. Just what is she wearing?:
"She was wearing two necklaces, a pin, bracelets on each wrist, rings, earrings, and even an ankle bracelet. Her stockings were lacey, and she was, well, as Claud might have said, overly accessorized. Practically everything she wore had a bow attached. There were bows on her shoes, a bow on her belt, a bow in her hair, and a bow at the neck of her blouse. Her sweater was beaded, and she hadn't forgotten to pin a fake rose to it. As for cute, her earrings were in the shape of ladybugs, one of her necklaces spelled her name-- Linda-- in gold script, her pin was in the shape of a mouse, and the bow in her hair was a ribbon with a print of tiny ducks all over it."
Some of that actually sounds cute (the bow motif, the ladybug earrings, and the mouse pin in particular), but still. SO. MANY. THINGS. WRONG.
Anyway, Linda talks, twins seem enamored with the Kid-Kits, and Linda leaves. The twins want to go to their room, and after a couple of bracelet checks so Mal can determine who's who, we set off to the land of frou frou pink twinsie hell. At least the room is, apparently, symmetrical.
At least someone likes it.
Mal gets the twins settled with some Paddington books and makes the mistake about how adorably alike they are. This causes all hell to break loose. The twins start speaking what I can only assume to be Simlish with each other, chuck their bracelets onto their beds, run around the room, and start puking pea soup. They challenge Mal to tell them apart, but, of course, she fucking can't. One twin runs out of the room. Mal catches her by the piano and tells her to practice (to confirm if she's Marilyn). Said twin just stares at piano and Mal figures out...le gasp, it's Carolyn! Mal gets Marilyn set up at the piano, and for a brief amount of time, she's relieved. And since I have to do shit that requires me to stop reading, so am I. End Chapter 3.
Comment and give me feedback, if you like.