#110 Abby the Bad Sport Part Two
Link to the first part:
http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/532661.html
First off before we get down to business, thank you everyone who commented on my previous snark. I hope you wake up every day knowing how awesome you are. Second, an apology for taking so long to get this next part out. I’m afraid my only excuse is general laziness. That and Netflix is addictive.
Okay next up is Chapter Eight which is really hard to snark because the POV bounces around from one character to another like crazy, making me dizzy trying to follow it. Basic rule of writing: while you can use multiple POVs in a book, try to make it so that the reader always knows whose head you’re in. It would also help if you gave each character a distinct voice, but given that this is the BSC where everyone is defined by a single personality trait, that may be expecting too much here.
Anyway, this chapter begins with Mary Anne handwriting and is supposed to be told from her perspective, somehow Abby knows exactly what she’s saying and thinking even though Abby is currently on the field playing soccer and I don’t recall there ever being a BSC book where Abby subjugates the members of the BSC using her scary mind powers, only for her nefarious scheme to fail when she tries to take out the BSC Queen aka K.Ron, but it’s been a while since I’ve read the series. But seriously the writing for this book is abominable. Even if you factor in the ghostwriter part, it’s clear that no one involved cared anymore.
Mary Anne notices how Abby, continuing to be a massive bitch, spends the game scowling and hogging the ball. And while I’ve said before that I know next to nothing about soccer, I was in Orchestra in high school (2nd Violins FTW!) so I do know something about being on a team, so let me just say, screw you, Abby. I don’t care how you feel about a coach or another player; you suck it up and play your best. Your teammates have worked their tails off in practice and it’s not right for you to screw them over just because Erin got the position you wanted.
Erin manages to get the ball and score a goal, causing the Stoneybrook Booster Club (aka the latest activity K.Ron’s roped a bunch of kids into) to start cheering for Erin. Erin’s teammates (minus Abby) all celebrate because now the score is 1-0. Meaning that Abby’s team is now ahead, but once again, Abby refuses to be happy because she’s not the star. Abby, need I remind you about the whole point of being a member of a team? Basically it means that you put the good of the team ahead of your own personal feelings.
There’s a pointless cute dog moment as Shannon the puppy decides to charge onto the field, pulling the leash from David Michael’s hands. In the interest of making sure my snark is as accurate as possible, I looked up Shannon’s breed (Shannon was mentioned as being a Bernese Mountain Dog) on Wikipedia. Yeah, I know Wikipedia isn’t the best most scholarly source, but it’s usually a good starting point. Apparently a female weighs a minimum of eighty pounds when they’re full-grown, so based on that, I have no doubt that even as a puppy, Shannon would have no difficulty pulling a seven-year-old to the ground. So in short, really? Whose genius idea was it to entrust that big a dog to a seven-year-old?
But I’ll summon up the boring kid antics: Shannon causes a little chaos but they’re able to catch her fairly quickly, the referee just places the ball back where it was before the interruption and the game continues. My “This was put in to pad out the book” sense is tingling.
The other team scores a goal bringing the score to 1-1. In the final round, Abby has the ball and is racing down the field with it. Despite Erin being in a better place to make a shot for the goal, Abby decides not to pass to her, because if Erin made the goal, she’d be the hero. So she takes the shot herself and fails. Part of me wonders if the ghostie realized that Erin was attracting too much sympathy because the next time she gets the ball, she pretty much does exactly what Abby does: hogs it and refuses to pass it.
The game ends. Abby’s team loses. Both Erin and Abby are pissed and go to confront one another. Abby’s like “Why didn’t you pass to me? I was open.” Thankfully she’s quickly called on her hypocrisy by Erin who goes, “You did the same to me.”
Abby’s like “And watch you blown the shot? What are you stupid?” Karen, who is watching this, says, “You’re not ever supposed to call someone stupid.” Based on Karen’s overall behavior in this book, I’m forced to conclude one of two things. One, either Karen Brewer has a split personality with her good side only making occasional appearances, or maybe her evil twin has kidnapped her and taken her place in this book, but given that the Karen Brewer we’ve all come to despise is already evil, it would have to be her good twin. Think of it as being like that Treehouse of Horror episode of The Simpsons, where they discover Bart’s conjoined twin, Hugo, only for it to turn out that Bart was the evil twin all along. I’m seriously having a hard time squaring the Karen Brewer of this book with the Karen Brewer presented in the rest of BSC canon.
Sorry for that tangent, back to the book. Abby and Erin both leap at each other, fists raised, but Coach Wu steps in and stops them before any blows can be made. She orders them both to the bench and the chapter ends with Karen Brewer and all the kids talking about what a bad sport Abby is.
Chapter Nine, both Abby and Erin have been benched for two games. Both girls are like “But that’s not fair. She started it” but Coach Wu, currently the only one displaying sense in this book chews them out saying that they screwed their team over. Okay she uses more words than that but the sentiment is there. Erin calls Abby a jerk and walks away. Abby sits on the bench and sulks about how humiliating it’d be to be stuck on the bench during the game.
The chapter ends with Abby’s Mom talking about their upcoming visit to Long Island. Abby gets out of going by lying about having a game.
Chapter Ten, while the rest of the Stevensons go to Long Island, Abby is spending her Saturday at the home of those wild and crazy Brewer-Thomases. In a further attempt to pad out the book, we get descriptions of what every member of that family is eating for breakfast. Because that’s what kids are into: breakfast action.
Abby talks about how she’s tried to keep a low profile in practice and play the position she’s supposed to, but Coach Wu shows no sign of lifting the suspension to which I say, “Go, Coach Wu, go. Be the only sane adult in this town. Abby deserves to learn that actions have consequences.”
But even though she’s benched, Abby goes to the game. The ghostie breaks another writing rule (“Don’t remind the reader of better books they could be reading”) by having Abby whine and compare her day to the book: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
Abby spends the game cheering for her team while sulking about Erin. Karen, continuing to be a possible pod-bot, tries to reassure Abby by telling her that even good players don’t play all the time. She goes to tell Erin the same thing, but freezes up when she sees her, says, “I’m sorry,” and runs away. Which I’ll give Karen credit: sounds like the behavior of a typical seven-year-old which is a nice change from her typical Damian-Village of the Damned-like behavior. I could understand why a seven-year-old might not know how to deal with someone with an intellectual disability.
Chapter Eleven, is a babysitting chapter. It is mildly amusing to read Claudia’s misspellings, but compared to some of her usual stuff, it’s not really that out there. All that happens in this chapter is the kids hold a car wash to raise money to buy Abby’s team uniforms. It’s a rousing success, no one gets hurt, and everyone has fun. So let’s go to Chapter Twelve already.
Chapter Twelve, well we get something that can be best illustrated with a record-scratch sound effect as Kristy aka K.Ron of all people calls Abby on her horrible behavior and says that she deserved to be benched. Wait, is this the same K.Ron we’re talking about? The one that runs a cult that regularly practices systematic shunning and humiliation of anyone who doesn’t toe the BSC line? All right, seriously did aliens abduct both Karen and Kristy and replace them with nicer duplicates? If that’s the case, thank you, aliens for your service to humanity.
Abby’s mom and sister come back from their trip. They talk about the trip to the cemetery and we get the only decent writing in this book as her mom talks about how she used to hate going to her husband’s grave because it only reminded her that he was gone, but seeing it again…she found it to be a very peaceful place. Abby starts to regret skipping out on the trip, but when Anna says, “You should have come,” she’s like “Whatever,” and goes to her room to think.
Chapter Thirteen, it’s game day again. Abby is showing signs that maybe she’s finally realized that hey, the team comes first and every position matters, as she thinks about how she’s been doing better in practice and is actually starting to see the field from a defensive point of view and is wondering whether Coach Wu was right.
Later on, during the game, Coach Wu ends the suspension and allows both Abby and Erin to play. They play like a team and the game ends in a tie, 3-3. Abby wishes she could have won, but admits it was nice to get a chance to play. But we get a little hint that her bitchiness isn’t fully gone when after the team invites Abby for after-game pizza, Abby refuses, thinking that she doesn’t want to be around while everyone treats Erin like Queen of the World.
Abby, still burning with energy, decides to go to Miller Park and go for a run. She hits the track and after a while, notices that Erin’s running with her. They struggle to pass each other and in an attempt to drum up suspense, the chapter very cleverly ends with a cliffhanger where we don’t know who reached the finish line first, Abby or Erin.
Chapter Fourteen, turns out they tied, meaning that they’re both equally good and Abby doesn’t have to admit that Erin might be a better athlete than her. Okay, I sound a little more bitter than I should, especially since this chapter isn’t that bad with both Erin and Abby apologizing to each other. Abby does the bulk of the apologizing, admitting that she was wrong to treat Erin like crap.
Abby goes home and again, the chapter ends with some nice bit of writing as Abby flashes back to the last time she saw her father alive to when she and Anna heard the news about his death. I have to give the BSC series credit: even though by this point it’s been flanderized within an inch of its life, it does a good job of portraying grief.
Chapter Fifteen, not much happens. Abby apologizes to K.Ron, admitting that she was right to chew her out for being a bad sport. Abby goes home and talks to her mother, who admits that she was wrong to try to make Abby go to the gravesite when she wasn’t ready. Once again, more nice portrayal of grief, as her mother admits that she used to have dreams about that day where the phone would ring and she’d pick up, only to hear a voice on the other end say that everything was okay. Abby says she guesses she’ll always miss her father.
More denouement! Abby’s team loses their last game, but Abby still feels good because they played like a team and they looked good in their new uniforms. They go out, eat pizza, and have fun.
The book ends with Abby realizing it’s time to let go of the past and vowing to place her lucky cleats on her father’s grave the next time she visits. Nice gesture, but I’ve got to raise an eyebrow. Her father died when she was nine. Her lucky cleats were the last cleats he bought for her, so she’s cherished them ever since, wearing them only for games. But I find myself questioning whether a thirteen-year-old could really fit into cleats purchased when she was nine. I mean, I’ve heard of small feet (proud owner of a pair) but even still wouldn’t your feet grow a little between the ages of nine and thirteen unless Abby has some rare hormonal disorder in addition to her Asthma?
So that’s Abby the Bad Sport. Was it bad? I’ll admit it was pretty bad though the first half was much worse than the second half, but I don’t feel this book unseats Mallory Pike, #1 Fan, as the worst book in the BSC canon, not by a long shot. As bad as Abby the Bad Sport was, I can kind of see what Ann was trying to do. She wanted to write about the Special Olympics and show that people with intellectual disabilities deserve to be treated like human beings. You can debate whether she succeeded in her efforts or not, but at least you know what she was trying to do. Whereas my brain still short-circuits every time I try to figure out what Ann was trying to do with Mallory Pike, #1 Fan. Was not knowing the difference between fact and fiction a huge problem I never noticed during the nineties? Was Ann stalked by a crazed Stan-like fan and decided to deal with her issues by writing said book? Probably the best guess is that Ann just really hates Mallory for some reason and since Scholastic rejected her story “Mallory Goes to Prison and Gets Shanked in the Shower,” as being too dark for children, she decided to shank Mallory and any fans she might have in a more metaphorical sense.
So that’s my summation. All BSC members have at least one book with them at their absolute worst. This is Abby’s absolute worst book and we can definitely agree that Mallory Pike, #1 Fan is Mallory’s but what would you nominate for the other characters as being their absolute worst? Have fun discussing.
http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/532661.html
First off before we get down to business, thank you everyone who commented on my previous snark. I hope you wake up every day knowing how awesome you are. Second, an apology for taking so long to get this next part out. I’m afraid my only excuse is general laziness. That and Netflix is addictive.
Okay next up is Chapter Eight which is really hard to snark because the POV bounces around from one character to another like crazy, making me dizzy trying to follow it. Basic rule of writing: while you can use multiple POVs in a book, try to make it so that the reader always knows whose head you’re in. It would also help if you gave each character a distinct voice, but given that this is the BSC where everyone is defined by a single personality trait, that may be expecting too much here.
Anyway, this chapter begins with Mary Anne handwriting and is supposed to be told from her perspective, somehow Abby knows exactly what she’s saying and thinking even though Abby is currently on the field playing soccer and I don’t recall there ever being a BSC book where Abby subjugates the members of the BSC using her scary mind powers, only for her nefarious scheme to fail when she tries to take out the BSC Queen aka K.Ron, but it’s been a while since I’ve read the series. But seriously the writing for this book is abominable. Even if you factor in the ghostwriter part, it’s clear that no one involved cared anymore.
Mary Anne notices how Abby, continuing to be a massive bitch, spends the game scowling and hogging the ball. And while I’ve said before that I know next to nothing about soccer, I was in Orchestra in high school (2nd Violins FTW!) so I do know something about being on a team, so let me just say, screw you, Abby. I don’t care how you feel about a coach or another player; you suck it up and play your best. Your teammates have worked their tails off in practice and it’s not right for you to screw them over just because Erin got the position you wanted.
Erin manages to get the ball and score a goal, causing the Stoneybrook Booster Club (aka the latest activity K.Ron’s roped a bunch of kids into) to start cheering for Erin. Erin’s teammates (minus Abby) all celebrate because now the score is 1-0. Meaning that Abby’s team is now ahead, but once again, Abby refuses to be happy because she’s not the star. Abby, need I remind you about the whole point of being a member of a team? Basically it means that you put the good of the team ahead of your own personal feelings.
There’s a pointless cute dog moment as Shannon the puppy decides to charge onto the field, pulling the leash from David Michael’s hands. In the interest of making sure my snark is as accurate as possible, I looked up Shannon’s breed (Shannon was mentioned as being a Bernese Mountain Dog) on Wikipedia. Yeah, I know Wikipedia isn’t the best most scholarly source, but it’s usually a good starting point. Apparently a female weighs a minimum of eighty pounds when they’re full-grown, so based on that, I have no doubt that even as a puppy, Shannon would have no difficulty pulling a seven-year-old to the ground. So in short, really? Whose genius idea was it to entrust that big a dog to a seven-year-old?
But I’ll summon up the boring kid antics: Shannon causes a little chaos but they’re able to catch her fairly quickly, the referee just places the ball back where it was before the interruption and the game continues. My “This was put in to pad out the book” sense is tingling.
The other team scores a goal bringing the score to 1-1. In the final round, Abby has the ball and is racing down the field with it. Despite Erin being in a better place to make a shot for the goal, Abby decides not to pass to her, because if Erin made the goal, she’d be the hero. So she takes the shot herself and fails. Part of me wonders if the ghostie realized that Erin was attracting too much sympathy because the next time she gets the ball, she pretty much does exactly what Abby does: hogs it and refuses to pass it.
The game ends. Abby’s team loses. Both Erin and Abby are pissed and go to confront one another. Abby’s like “Why didn’t you pass to me? I was open.” Thankfully she’s quickly called on her hypocrisy by Erin who goes, “You did the same to me.”
Abby’s like “And watch you blown the shot? What are you stupid?” Karen, who is watching this, says, “You’re not ever supposed to call someone stupid.” Based on Karen’s overall behavior in this book, I’m forced to conclude one of two things. One, either Karen Brewer has a split personality with her good side only making occasional appearances, or maybe her evil twin has kidnapped her and taken her place in this book, but given that the Karen Brewer we’ve all come to despise is already evil, it would have to be her good twin. Think of it as being like that Treehouse of Horror episode of The Simpsons, where they discover Bart’s conjoined twin, Hugo, only for it to turn out that Bart was the evil twin all along. I’m seriously having a hard time squaring the Karen Brewer of this book with the Karen Brewer presented in the rest of BSC canon.
Sorry for that tangent, back to the book. Abby and Erin both leap at each other, fists raised, but Coach Wu steps in and stops them before any blows can be made. She orders them both to the bench and the chapter ends with Karen Brewer and all the kids talking about what a bad sport Abby is.
Chapter Nine, both Abby and Erin have been benched for two games. Both girls are like “But that’s not fair. She started it” but Coach Wu, currently the only one displaying sense in this book chews them out saying that they screwed their team over. Okay she uses more words than that but the sentiment is there. Erin calls Abby a jerk and walks away. Abby sits on the bench and sulks about how humiliating it’d be to be stuck on the bench during the game.
The chapter ends with Abby’s Mom talking about their upcoming visit to Long Island. Abby gets out of going by lying about having a game.
Chapter Ten, while the rest of the Stevensons go to Long Island, Abby is spending her Saturday at the home of those wild and crazy Brewer-Thomases. In a further attempt to pad out the book, we get descriptions of what every member of that family is eating for breakfast. Because that’s what kids are into: breakfast action.
Abby talks about how she’s tried to keep a low profile in practice and play the position she’s supposed to, but Coach Wu shows no sign of lifting the suspension to which I say, “Go, Coach Wu, go. Be the only sane adult in this town. Abby deserves to learn that actions have consequences.”
But even though she’s benched, Abby goes to the game. The ghostie breaks another writing rule (“Don’t remind the reader of better books they could be reading”) by having Abby whine and compare her day to the book: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
Abby spends the game cheering for her team while sulking about Erin. Karen, continuing to be a possible pod-bot, tries to reassure Abby by telling her that even good players don’t play all the time. She goes to tell Erin the same thing, but freezes up when she sees her, says, “I’m sorry,” and runs away. Which I’ll give Karen credit: sounds like the behavior of a typical seven-year-old which is a nice change from her typical Damian-Village of the Damned-like behavior. I could understand why a seven-year-old might not know how to deal with someone with an intellectual disability.
Chapter Eleven, is a babysitting chapter. It is mildly amusing to read Claudia’s misspellings, but compared to some of her usual stuff, it’s not really that out there. All that happens in this chapter is the kids hold a car wash to raise money to buy Abby’s team uniforms. It’s a rousing success, no one gets hurt, and everyone has fun. So let’s go to Chapter Twelve already.
Chapter Twelve, well we get something that can be best illustrated with a record-scratch sound effect as Kristy aka K.Ron of all people calls Abby on her horrible behavior and says that she deserved to be benched. Wait, is this the same K.Ron we’re talking about? The one that runs a cult that regularly practices systematic shunning and humiliation of anyone who doesn’t toe the BSC line? All right, seriously did aliens abduct both Karen and Kristy and replace them with nicer duplicates? If that’s the case, thank you, aliens for your service to humanity.
Abby’s mom and sister come back from their trip. They talk about the trip to the cemetery and we get the only decent writing in this book as her mom talks about how she used to hate going to her husband’s grave because it only reminded her that he was gone, but seeing it again…she found it to be a very peaceful place. Abby starts to regret skipping out on the trip, but when Anna says, “You should have come,” she’s like “Whatever,” and goes to her room to think.
Chapter Thirteen, it’s game day again. Abby is showing signs that maybe she’s finally realized that hey, the team comes first and every position matters, as she thinks about how she’s been doing better in practice and is actually starting to see the field from a defensive point of view and is wondering whether Coach Wu was right.
Later on, during the game, Coach Wu ends the suspension and allows both Abby and Erin to play. They play like a team and the game ends in a tie, 3-3. Abby wishes she could have won, but admits it was nice to get a chance to play. But we get a little hint that her bitchiness isn’t fully gone when after the team invites Abby for after-game pizza, Abby refuses, thinking that she doesn’t want to be around while everyone treats Erin like Queen of the World.
Abby, still burning with energy, decides to go to Miller Park and go for a run. She hits the track and after a while, notices that Erin’s running with her. They struggle to pass each other and in an attempt to drum up suspense, the chapter very cleverly ends with a cliffhanger where we don’t know who reached the finish line first, Abby or Erin.
Chapter Fourteen, turns out they tied, meaning that they’re both equally good and Abby doesn’t have to admit that Erin might be a better athlete than her. Okay, I sound a little more bitter than I should, especially since this chapter isn’t that bad with both Erin and Abby apologizing to each other. Abby does the bulk of the apologizing, admitting that she was wrong to treat Erin like crap.
Abby goes home and again, the chapter ends with some nice bit of writing as Abby flashes back to the last time she saw her father alive to when she and Anna heard the news about his death. I have to give the BSC series credit: even though by this point it’s been flanderized within an inch of its life, it does a good job of portraying grief.
Chapter Fifteen, not much happens. Abby apologizes to K.Ron, admitting that she was right to chew her out for being a bad sport. Abby goes home and talks to her mother, who admits that she was wrong to try to make Abby go to the gravesite when she wasn’t ready. Once again, more nice portrayal of grief, as her mother admits that she used to have dreams about that day where the phone would ring and she’d pick up, only to hear a voice on the other end say that everything was okay. Abby says she guesses she’ll always miss her father.
More denouement! Abby’s team loses their last game, but Abby still feels good because they played like a team and they looked good in their new uniforms. They go out, eat pizza, and have fun.
The book ends with Abby realizing it’s time to let go of the past and vowing to place her lucky cleats on her father’s grave the next time she visits. Nice gesture, but I’ve got to raise an eyebrow. Her father died when she was nine. Her lucky cleats were the last cleats he bought for her, so she’s cherished them ever since, wearing them only for games. But I find myself questioning whether a thirteen-year-old could really fit into cleats purchased when she was nine. I mean, I’ve heard of small feet (proud owner of a pair) but even still wouldn’t your feet grow a little between the ages of nine and thirteen unless Abby has some rare hormonal disorder in addition to her Asthma?
So that’s Abby the Bad Sport. Was it bad? I’ll admit it was pretty bad though the first half was much worse than the second half, but I don’t feel this book unseats Mallory Pike, #1 Fan, as the worst book in the BSC canon, not by a long shot. As bad as Abby the Bad Sport was, I can kind of see what Ann was trying to do. She wanted to write about the Special Olympics and show that people with intellectual disabilities deserve to be treated like human beings. You can debate whether she succeeded in her efforts or not, but at least you know what she was trying to do. Whereas my brain still short-circuits every time I try to figure out what Ann was trying to do with Mallory Pike, #1 Fan. Was not knowing the difference between fact and fiction a huge problem I never noticed during the nineties? Was Ann stalked by a crazed Stan-like fan and decided to deal with her issues by writing said book? Probably the best guess is that Ann just really hates Mallory for some reason and since Scholastic rejected her story “Mallory Goes to Prison and Gets Shanked in the Shower,” as being too dark for children, she decided to shank Mallory and any fans she might have in a more metaphorical sense.
So that’s my summation. All BSC members have at least one book with them at their absolute worst. This is Abby’s absolute worst book and we can definitely agree that Mallory Pike, #1 Fan is Mallory’s but what would you nominate for the other characters as being their absolute worst? Have fun discussing.