#72- Dawn and the We Love Kids Club or Blondie Can It! Part 2 Chapter 4-6
You lucky, lucky bitches! You get more updates today! I hope that you enjoy them! The link to the other one is here: http://bleeding-thorn2.livejournal.com/948.html enjoy and comment! Thank you!
Chapter 4
Dawn is babysitting for Stephie, who is in awe about Dawn being on TV. Dawn talks about how much she loves Stephie and how shy and frail she was when they first met and how Dawn drew her out of her shell and how her asthma improved, and motherfucking editors did no one read fucking 'California Girls'? Because, I seem to remember it was fucking MARY ANNE who got close to Stephie because they both had strict fathers and both mothers were dead. Jesus Christ people, some of us have photographic memories for inane shit like that.
Dawn talks about how her and Stephie are almost sisters, and what in the fuck? Must every sitter have a fucking almost sister? It's fucking creepy. After the broadcast, Stephie talks about how she wants her dad to remarry, so she can have a mom and how lucky Dawn would be if Daddy were to marry Carol so she can have two moms. This poor girl, she wants a mom so bad. And Dawn is being a huge bitch about Carol, it's not like Carol's a twat or anything.
Stephie shows Dawn a pic of her mom and they could pass as twins. That's cool, my younger brother looked exactly like my mom in baby photos. My niece looks so much like me, people used to think she was mine. Stephie says that sometimes she talks to her mom thru the picture and she makes believe that mom can answer back. I feel so bad for this poor girl, it's sad and I can't snark it at all.
Later on, they draw pictures. Dawn is a map of the U.S. with mom, Mary Anne and Richard on the right, Jeff and Daddy on the left. Dawn draws herself on the top, like the ruler of the fucking world with her arms stretched to both coasts. Of course, Carol isn't in the picture and Dawn is all, 'she isn't related. It don't matter.' Bitch.
Stephie's picture is of her and her dad with a woman standing between them. Floating above them is another woman with angel wings and a smile, it's her mom watching them from heaven. Jesus Christ, I need a minute. There's something in my eye and I'm sticking to that story......
Back now....Fucking allergies......
The woman standing between Stephie and her dad is wearing a white dress with a hat and when Dawn looks closer at the picture, Stephie says that it will be her new mom someday. The woman turns out to be wearing a wedding dress and a veil and allergies are acting up again.
Chapter 5
So, now we are at a W.K.C. meeting and all hell has broken loose. Many jobs have come in and everyone is having trouble keeping up with the demand, jobs are being double booked and everyone is frantic. See this is why you need structure, you fucking hippies. (And I'm not knocking hippies, I am a hippie, albiet a meat loving one). Not to point of Full Metal Jacket K-Ron style, but structure none the less.
The girls are having problems because Dumbass Sunny has last years calender in the fucking record book, and how the hell did these bitches keep track in the days before the news broadcast? That, plus everyone has been calling, even people from fucking San Diego and why the hell would you call a sitter from two hours away, you know you would have to pay for her to get there right? Rich Bastards. Dawn says she got a call from a young sounding boy who wanted an autograph and I'm calling bullshit on that one, because once again, she was not on the fucking Voice. It was the news for four minutes, about a babysitting club.
Sunny got a call from a girl who wanted to start her own babysitting club and K-Ron calls her hitman to go to Cali and squash that shit real fucking quick. There's some bullshit about how no one published the club's numbers (and no shit, you guys are fucking minors), but somehow people got their numbers.
Dawn also has double booked herself and imagines K-Ron wagging a finger at her. And we know that's bullshit, unless Dawn is suppressing the cattle prod incident now......
Anyhoo....
People now want a fucking brochure? Who has time for that shit? It's a club that babysits lady, it ain't fucking rocket science. And now parents are double booking the damn sitters, does no one talk to each other? How the hell did that happen, did the parents not trust one another to book the damn job in the first place? Fucking Hell....
So, Dawn decides to call and see if she can combine Stephie and the Dewitt boys jobs at the same time. The girls who got double booked by the same family decide to both go and spilt the money. And Dawn thinks they have to have rules, and fliers and stuff like that. Of course, instead of doing just that, fucking jackasses spend the rest of the meeting thinking of different handshakes. I weep for our future people.
Chapter 6
Fucking hell, Stacey's handwriting. I know you writers need a reason to keep the books about the BSC, but Dawn is not there. There is no need for this shit, all it does is show us that K-Ron is a pain in the ass for the millionth time.
Friday's meeting, the club watched the video, even Janine. After the video, Claudia the stupid bitch actually mixes up telegenic with telepathic and seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Claudia? Why has she never been tested?
K-Ron's competive nature kicks in, and thinks they need a video too. Jessi is like, 'We should. Daddy can do .... and K-Ron shuts that shit down and tells her to shut the fuck up, she meant a real one. Stacey points out that the news station is the one that contacted the WLKC, not the other way around. K-Ron is pissed that the BSC has been around longer, so they should have a news broadcast, if it wasn't for them, the WLKC wouldn't exist. Dear God woman, shut the fuck up. You are not the first babysitters ever, okay. K-Ron is so pissed she forgets to call the meeting to order and that's why there's been crazy weather! The apocalypse is coming people! Prepare yourselves!
And I am so not recapping the stupid bullshit rivarly between K-Ron and Dawn over Mary Anne. No one cares, no one cares at all. Dawn you did not steal anything, K-Ron's a bitch. So are you, but for totally different reasons.
So, that night K-Ron babysits David Michael, Andrew, Emily, and Karen and Thank Christ we are spared Karen's antics. K-Ron watches the damn video and reads the article again and decides to call the stations and papers the next day. She even comes up with a pitch and I'm already laughing at this. She calls the Stoneybrook News and gets switched so damn much and is told to try the school paper. LOL! SUCK IT BITCH! Stamford says no, then she tries the local tv stations. One says no, for the second she writes a script and this shit is too fucking funny not to transcribe here:
'Hello, this is Kristy Thomas of the Thomas Talent Agency, and I have exclusive rights to the story of an extraordinary organization known by every parent in the Southwestern Connecticut radius. It's called the Baby-sitters Club.'
I love the fucking gall of that girl, I'll tell you. I fucking laughed my ass off at the stupidity of it and kept thinking no one gives a fucking fuck. The woman at the other end of the phone apparently feels the same way and nearly kills herself laughing her ass off. She even asks if it's a joke! K-Ron would you like some ice for that burn? K-Ron nearly cuts a bitch, but then remembers to be good and tries to work with it and gets shut down AGAIN when the lady tells her she needs a tape to send them. It only took seventy two books, but someone finally put K-Ron in her place!
Monday meeting, K-Ron figures that everyone is going to bow down and do her bidding as usual and she must not be making that Kool-Aid Strong anymore because no one wants to make a video. K-Ron needs new minions people. They remind her that they are busier than ever with Dawn in Cali and Mal being the goddamn buttmonkey at home with mono. K-Ron shuts up and the meeting continues, with some bullshit about Stacey keeping Dawn posted about K-Ron.
Stay tuned for the next part, should before Thanksgiving hopefully. So should the other snarks next part, I hope. Thank you all again for reading. Let me know what you think.