BSC #41: Mary Anne vs. Logan Chapters 2-end.
Since I am a nooooob, I had trouble before. I think I may have figured it out!
Chapter 2!
MA stresses about the relationship and feels out of control. This is a G-rated version of a bullying relationship/marriage type of Lifetime movie.
MA snubs her best friends (Dawn and Kristy) in favor of calling Stacey and Claudia for advice about men. Stacey I can see, but not Claudia. Not really. She goes on a few dates and doesn’t get a steady boyfriend until the very end of the series. And because the series ended right afterward, we don’t know how things worked out with her and Alan. Maybe Alan Gray decided to date his way through the BSC since first he had Kristy, then Claudia, Dawn in the movie… (this speculation is way more fun than this chapter, sorry). So, I don’t think she’s much of an authority. Stacey’s line is busy so unfortunately MA must turn to Claud. As I suspected, Claudia listens but has no advice.
CH 2 HIGHLIGHT TIME!
• Blah, blah, blah about Kristy’s unusual family. But why oh why- Kristy complains she doesn’t see Andrew and Karen enough. I usually love Andrew but Karen? Four days a month + baby-sitting times= too much! Also, MA says that Kristy has a boyfriend, Bart! D’awwwwww. I actually like Kristy and Bart together though I wasn’t aware they were really dating at this point. I know things don’t get hot and heavy (by BSC standards) until #96.
• This book says that Kristy doesn’t wear a bra and it bothers her. Since when does it bother her? She never seemed to care before, except when sad that she was alone after MA got one. I remember being a tomboy and getting breasts was annoying because they can get in the way of sports, not to be too TMI. MA says she can’t describe Kristy without describing herself even though they’re opposites. Do I really need to hear that you’re shy AGAIN, MA?
• We hear another complaint about Kristy wearing jeans and stuff. So…? The same turtleneck everyday is not good, but there’s nothing wrong with jeans and T-shirts.
• Dawn is GORGEOUS. She doesn’t care what people think. Riiiiiiiiight and I’m Princess Leia’s cousin twice removed. Dawn dresses “California casual” style. While, here in L.A. casual is often a T-shirt and jeans (and I’m sure this sort of outfit is everywhere else, too). But when Kristy wears shit like this it’s not cool! Too bad, Kristy, cuz if you were from California you’d be “cool!”
• Claudia wears the TRENDIEST CLOTHES YOU CAN IMAGINE. “If it tastes good and is bad for you, Claudia likes it.” DRUGSSSSSSS. These girls are going to massively fail at dressing properly if the Ms. Frizzle look has more credibility than casual style (only Ms. Frizzle can pull it off, so no offense to her!).
Copy my style, bitch, and I WILL cut you.
• If Claudia didn’t read mysteries, she wouldn’t read at all. So the Kishis should be pleased. She is “smart” but a poor student. I dunno…
• Stacey is glamorous, but her life is not. Oh, living in a high rise in NYC with every comfort you need, going to fancy shows and dinners is not living a glamorous life? My mistake. MA blames the diabeetus and the divorce. Divorce is sad and having any illness is not pleasant, but diabetes, especially in this case, is TREATABLE. No wonder Stacey’s mom didn’t want to tell in BSC land if it’s such a stigma in these books. My old roommate’s boyfriend JUST got diagnosed and she has it, too. They were both fine once it was diagnosed and they got treatment. And this “one M&M” crap is such bull. My aforementioned friends would be totally dead if that was true and it would have happened ages ago. I really have to wonder how Ann got her mistaken info on this. Also, was I the only one as a kid who was afraid of getting it because of how bad these books made it sound? I got scared when I was thirsty, just like book #118 made me scared about seeing halos around lights. Thanks, BSC books, for instilling erroneously based fears into the minds of children since 1986.
• This book says Stacey is a “brittle” diabetic. Let me look that up real quick. Ah, here we go. In all fairness, it looks like this type of diabetes means care must be taken to avoid a spike in blood sugar levels and to maintain steady levels and it’s harder than with other forms of diabetes. However, it looks like this was added in to cover the asses of the writer (at this point, just AMM) after complaints from readers who really are diabetic, don’t you think so? I’m no expert, but from what I can find Stacey would be able to eat sweets occasionally even if a brittle diabetic as long she maintained a good diet on other occasions. It also said to avoid white potatoes and starches, so when she eats bread in book 8 and just about every BSC book, oh noes! That was obviously before the brittle excuse when the author was only thinking of the sugar and processed cheese angle. I know a few members of the community here are diabetic; any of you guys know about brittle diabetes and want to explain? I trust you guys to know what you’re talking about unlike a certain author.
• Mal can’t get contacts and is le sad; Jessi is REALLY talented.
Chapter 3!
This chapter starts with a sticky, scary stain on Claudia’s bed. It’s brown, eeeeek! And Claudia smells it and figures out it’s chocolate. Girls, what did you really think it was? Claudia may be dumb, but not incontinent. Claudia covers it up with a quilt and says she’ll worry about it later. She’ll probably forget and wake up smelling like chocolate.
We get an amusing show of Kristy thundering up the stairs to the meeting. Can you imagine if the door wasn’t open and no one let her into the house? BAHAHA she’d climb the tree into Claudia’s room or something.
“No one answered the door, so I thought I’d just let myself in.”
Oops! MA says that there are two members that don’t come to meetings and she’ll explain them later- but we’ve already been given an explanation about Logan smoochie-poo!
After more explaining, MA shows she has been drinking the Kool-Aid by declaring that she’s proud to be a member.
Stacey collects the dues with a “gleam” in her eyes. “She LOVES collecting money.” I fear you guys aren’t far off on implying she’s got a future as a streetwalker or will have loads of sugar daddies.
Anyway, MA says that Mrs. Prezzioso is going to have the baby in a few weeks and Jessi cuts her off by SHRIEKING at her not to tell them the sex of the baby. JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ, Jessi, want to tone it down there? I can understand some people wanting to wait, but calm down! Kristy gives a job to Dawn because she wants to spend time with Karen and Andrew.
MISTER PREZZIOSO LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES and he calls presumably because Mrs. P is either experiencing morning sickness or getting ready for a ball. Nope, it’s surprise baby shower time. Awwww, how cute. This already sounds like a much better home life than the Brewer household. I still want to grind my teeth thinking about the whole Emily Michelle adoption handling. At least The Prezziosos are trying to prepare Jenny for a baby sister. Spoiling her rotten isn’t the best idea, of course, but they’re trying to make sure she’s ok and not scared her parents are neglecting her unlike Watson and Elizabeth.
Chapter 4!
“Ahhhhh,” MA moans. No, MA, don’t give into peer pressure! Nope, she’s just reading Wuthering Heights. I like this side of MA, as she also was reading things like Little Women. I remember being sad I didn’t know anyone reading these books in 8th grade, too. I’m also jealous of the snowfall that’s there for ambiance and pleasure. MA says she is “gigundo happy.” Shhhhh, we don’t want Karen to arrive. All these Karen references are scaring me because I fear she’s going to pop up! Just throw in some scary music and it will be a horror movie.
Logan then shows up and we get an unnecessary Southern accent phonetically spelled for us. When I read his dialogue, I definitely throw off the accent. MA stands there awkwardly until he says, “Aren’t you going to let me in?” Awkward sauce. He then says they’re going skating on the pond because it’s perfect. While I’m totally jealous of anyone who’s able to do that with snow and all, Logan should be asking, not telling. When MA hesitates the slightest bit, Logan says, “I thought Dawn said you were looking forward to today.” But who said anything about you being part of it? Logan is dumb.
There is a cute scene of them walking in the snow and MA tying his laces at the park. Whenever MA says anything, Logan spouts out his own conclusion. Annoying! MA gets really, really cold and asks to stop. Logan keeps interrupting and ignoring MA without realizing it. He helps a couple of kids build a snowman and doesn’t pay attention when MA is freezing and doesn’t ask why she’s limping. When she objects to building snow angels in a quiet area of the part, Logan says, “We’re kids today, remember?” You sure are. I’m also glad she didn’t get on the ground next to him. I feel like I have a really, really dirty mind when reading this. Anyway, he buys them hot chocolate and MA is pleased to see a cardinal flying around. Logan looks at her happily, but instead of kissing her or saying something nice, he demands they go skating again. When MA says she’s freezing, Logan says, “You can’t be that cold.” Fuck off, Logan. This chapter is riddled with descriptions of MA being so cold that she can barely move. It sounds like she underdressed, perhaps, but she’s clearly miserable. So Logan should stop being selfish. MA is mad inside but stammers that she wants to go home. He gets huffy about it and marches away. Come on, seriously? Sounds like he needs a baby-sitter if he can’t handle that his girlfriend is cold and wants to leave sooner than he does.
Chapter 5!
Baby-sitting chapter, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. It’s Kristy and-oh,no oh,no oh,no…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Time for Karen.
I can’t recap it entirely for my own sanity’s sake, but let’s just say that she is sad about Ricky Torres.
Can I interject in here? You know how many of us were told as children (and we also see it on TV and in movies) that when someone bullies you or teases you, they must have a crush on you? I HATE that. Ricky kind of fits into that stereotype. Not nice to Karen, must like her! Obviouslyyyy.
By this point they are about to get “married.” I won’t say it’s stupid since I love Tom Sawyer and he wanted to “marry” Becky Thatcher. That’s a story where it’s actually cute when someone says something silly and acts rambunctious, like when Tom protests to Becky about a prior engagement “that was a whole month ago!” That’s a story about a troublemaker that you can love. Anything involving Karen is not.
Anyway, we start with a gloomy, rainy day. David Michael and Andrew are running around chasing each other and yelling and Kristy is so distracted by Karen not being bad that she is too worried about her to put a stop to the running. Good skills there, Kristy. If they trip on the floor and bang their heads, we’ll know who to blame.
Karen is sulking with her hand under her chin. “Her eyes seemed to say, ‘Everything in my life is wrong.’” Kristy, she’s seven, she’ll get over it! Ricky and Karen have had a fight and now aren’t getting married.
Oops, someone did trip! Emily Michelle who no one really pays attention to. I was actually ok with Kristy pulling Karen into the den with the door ajar because at seven and four both David Michael and Andrew should be ok for a couple minutes, but EM is TWO. Not a good idea to let her run around without supervision, especially since two much bigger kids are running past her. EM is ok and giggles that she wants to run more even though she slipped. You’re lucky, K. Ron.
The kids then make V-day cards and DM writes one that says, “You look like a monkey and you smell like one, too.” I actually snorted when he says afterward, “Maybe I won’t sign my name on this one.” It’s also funny to note DM writes this to a bully who teases all the girls. Is he jealous that this dude interacts with the girls more or just protective? Either way, I like DM way more than Karen, but we barely see anything of him!
Anyway, Karen lets Kristy know in private what the big fight was all about with Ricky Torres. They were forced to go to meanie-mo Pamela’s birthday party and planned to play tricks. But Ricky didn’t and even SMILED at Pamela. Call the presses! So Karen got mad. Then Ricky put ink on a drawing of hers on purpose. Then she put chewing gum under his desk. Karen had way worse fights in the LS books so I don’t see what’s so amazingly bad about this one.
Then Andrew dumps glitter on DM’s hair and says he looks cool like a punk rocker. I actually find that really cute. Andrew admires DM. Yeah, it would be annoying but DM’s not going anywhere and it’ll come out easily. No one paid attention to EM who couldn’t open anything and got glue all over herself and hair, which she’s brushing out of her eyes and thank God didn’t get IN her eyes.
Emily is sad about having a bath and Karen randomly says among this dialogue, “I am so sad.” Yeah, we know.
Kristy asks Karen to grab a book for her to read aloud to them and she sighs “like Kristy asked her to clean the whole house.” She returns with a book called The Dead Bird. EMO! Kristy says, “Couldn’t you have picked anything more cheerful?” And Karen says, “No” with a big sigh. Instead of selecting a nicer book, Kristy reads that one. I haven’t read it but it sounds awfully sad. Notice here how Karen sighs and shit and Kristy just looks sad for her and doesn’t complain? Well when Jenny sighs later and looks glum they make a big tizzy over it. BSC, would you like some fries with your bias?
Chapter 6!
MA returns home early from a date. She was supposed to be back at eleven (whoa, later curfew than BSC hours!)
The night began with a massive fuckup on Logan’s part. MA had been dreaming all day about ordering a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich with a vanilla milkshake. But meanie-mo Logan orders them both cheeseburgers and Cokes. Reminds me of Travis from #37. To Logan’s credit, he does apologize and offer to summon the waiter back and MA also orders these items most of the time. But still, ordering for someone is rude unless you planned ahead specifically. It’s also funny that when ordering he says “my friend will have the same.” I thought you were a little more than friends, pal.
Logan utterly fails in this next scene.
“All right, time for Halloween Part III!” Wouldn’t basically anyone just say Halloween III, without including “part?” “I hope you haven’t seen it, Mary Anne.”
Um, if you’re going on a date to the movies, don’t you plan ahead as to which movie you’re seeing? It rarely works out well if you go and decide which movie there at the theater, at least not in any case I’ve been in. Second, MA hates gore and horror and anything disturbing, LOGAN. Why would she want to see it and how in the holy mother of Kami-sama would she have gone to see it anyway!
MA stammers that she thought they were seeing The Music Man. So they did prearrange this? EXPLAIN, ANN!
Nope, they just argue over it because he says that The Music Man is a kid’s movie and she says Halloween is gross. I’ve seen neither (only saw the first Halloween) , so I don’t care to take any side, but I will say that if someone hates horror films, why would you expect them to see Halloween willingly?
Logan gets mad when MA says she wants to go home since they can’t decide.
She says to herself, “Nothing could be worse than this evening, ever.” Really. Really? REALLY?! Gosh, if only I could have your priorities, MA, because if that was your worst night ever, I’m jealous.
Uh oh, Richard wants to have a talk. What could it be? From the way the girls talk about him sometimes, it makes me picture this:
Richard has some tough standards.
JK! Richard tells MA that he misses her and is concerned about her because he thinks she and Logan are seeing each other too much. He plays the good parent by noting how unhappy she seems (see, other crackhead/high parents in Stoneybrook? Some parents CAN recognize warning signs and actually pay attention to their children!) and noting that her grades are slipping which is unlike her. He doesn’t rag on her about the grades, but is worried that it’s not like her so he can tell something’s wrong. I like Richard in this book! She agrees with him. Dawn is shocked to hear the news that MA agreed with her father.
MA says she feels Logan took part of her. I want to snark it since their relationship isn’t very serious and they’re only thirteen, but he is being creepy and controlling, so it’s good that she’s noticing lack of control. Dawn asks if Logan took it or MA let him. MA thinks, “She is so smart.” So smart that she’ll change her entire individual fantastique self for a guy multiple times!
Dawn also whines that she thought Logan and MA would marry and have children. THEY’RE THIRTEEN. THEY HAVEN’T BEEN DATING THAT LONG BY ACTUAL BOOK STANDARDS. She’s not joking either. She really wants to be the maid of honor. I guess when you drink the Kool-Aid a commitment is a commitment.
What’s that, you want to break up? Here, have some of this….
MA calls Logan to cool off the relationship for a bit and almost chickens out but then Logan says, “You’re calling to apologize, right?” Yes, Logan, because obviously it was all MA’s fault! What a prick.
When he hears the news he says, “Cool our relationship. WHY?!” As if nothing’s wrong. There haven’t been any problems. Ever. Not even the one he thinks MA’s calling to apologize for. This boy is so dense.
MA explains how she feels controlled and then Logan agrees to let them cool it off.
Chapter 7!
MA is sad when Logan doesn’t say hi when he passes her or leave her a note. Well, honey, at least he’s keeping his part of the deal about cooling it off. I thought you’d be pleased since he called you a jillion times last time you asked him to stop.
She is also le sad when Logan doesn’t sit at her table even though he doesn’t always. For the past several weeks he hadn’t missed a day, apparently.
Kristy amusingly asks why Logan isn’t here in MA’s lap and she gets mad. She bullshits that he’s with the guys for guy time and then the girls talk about, what else, baby-sitting.
MA sees Logan waiting at her locker and is scared that he’ll want to break up. He’s actually just saying hi before bouncing.
MA then becomes creepy because her homework becomes Logan. Faces become his, math turns into relations to him.
Dawn comforts MA and gives divorce examples. Girls, girls, girls! Cooling off a juvi relationship does not equate to real divorce.
Chapter 8!
Mal sits for Jenny and Jenny has new toys that teach her how to diaper a baby. Mal jokes that Jenny can soon join the BSC, which Jenny fortunately does not take seriously. Fortunately, Mal does a good job convincing Jenny of the perks of being the oldest and how awesome it is to be a “big girl” and able to express herself. This chapter is so boring and makes the Logan and MA garbage look entertaining. Jenny is still sad about facing change, which is quite normal.
Chapter 9!
MA cries all afternoon. Come on, really? I thought you were miserable in the relationship?
Oh, here we go. Now MA tells the BSC the news and says she fears Logan misinterpreted “cool off” as “break up.” Jessi then shrieks that she can’t believe they’re breaking up, OMG. This girl is too young to baby-sit, plain and simple. Also, is it that hard to talk to Logan to make sure he knows what she meant? Leave him a note if you can’t talk to him in person.
Bahaha, editing error! “’And then Toby came along,’ Mary Anne reminded me.” Was no one paying attention? Not as bad as the infamous error of MA’s mother helping out Mrs. McGill, but still.
Claudia talks about all the times she fell in love. Ah, so that’s why MA thinks she’s queen of dating, those blasted Super Special books! I still think “falling in love” is so silly for them to say. “We went out a couple times. We’re in love.” Reminds me of sitcom shows and dating.
“Ow, ow, ow!” spazzes Jessi. “All this separating, ouch!” Thankfully, the others also look at her like she’s crazy. Why is Jessi being even more annoying than Mallory in this book? No wonder Aunt Cecelia thinks she needs a baby-sitter.
Karen the Emo calls to ask for a sitter for Moosie and Goosie for fifteen cents an hour. Kristy nicely says to introduce them to other stuffed animals and calms her after speaking for a couple of minutes.
Then Logan calls to say that on V-day his parents are out and so is he so he needs her to sit for his brother and sister since they miss her. MA accepts and then freaks the fuck out about who he’s going out with, this new girlfriend. First of all, you’re not broken up and stop jumping to conclusions. Second, Logan didn’t treat you well and you’re finally in control but still acting whiny and ridiculous.
Chapter 10!
MA obsesses- and I mean obsesses- over Logan’s new “girlfriend.” She fucking NAMES her (Olivia) and imagines their future together. At thirteen when I was starting to notice boys more, I was well-aware that if anything happened, it would be minor because we were so young. I never went around thinking, “Wow, we’ll get married and live in a big house and move to…” She then proceeds to give Olivia characteristics. This is disturbing.
MA is baby-sitting Jenny again and is annoyed because she’s doing baby talk and wants to be a baby again. MA stupidly lets Jenny out of her sight for a long time while fantasizing about Olivia and Logan, and Jenny makes a mess of the baby’s room. MA finally gains a spine and makes her clean it up and then lets Jenny learn about how hard it is to be a baby not being allowed to do certain things or communicate. Jenny smiles and says she feels bad for babies.
Chapter 11
MA gets a phone call from a man. “It’s time,” he says and MA hangs up quickly. Raise your hand if your mind was in the gutter on that one folks, because mine was. Instead it’s Mr. P calling about the baby shower. Couldn’t they have just said that instead of having a man call MA in a gruff voice and saying, “It’s time”?
So about this baby shower, I’ll recap it as briefly as possible: Mrs. P being surprised, friend invited her out to lunch to get her out of house, Claudia + Stacey+ MA sweep in to set up baby shower. Mr. P is actually smart and plans it out perfectly to she’ll be surprised, even having the guests park on other streets so she won’t get suspicious. The one thing that worries me is scaring a heavily pregnant woman.
The man with the cake shows up and Mr. P smartly makes sure it’s the right cake. It’s not. “Nope,” says the delivery man because it’s the completely wrong cake and for a birthday. “He looked unconcerned.” And he just stands there. Is this guy high? Seriously, isn’t the correct response, “Oh, sorry. Let me go get you the right one.” ?? Mr. P has to tell HIM to go check his truck for the right one because the guy just stands there all herp derp on the steps like it’s no big deal. Methinks he got no tip. “Alright-y,” the dude says on the way to his truck. He’s going to toke it up first before returning, though.
How I would like to imagine the delivery driver.
MA dresses Jenny while the other dress up the living room for the baby shower. MA oohhhs and ahhhhs over the decorations and says the room looks like a “pastel cloud.”
Then we get Jenny asking about the stork decorations. She’s all like, “Wth is he doing? Storks bring babies?” Stacey stutters that that’s not exact it and then Jenny’s all like, “I’ll put a sign on the roof then that says, ‘DO NOT LEAVE BABIES HERE. EVER.’” Which I found amusing. The girls all freak out about how to tell her. I don’t see what’s so bad about saying that the baby’s in your mother’s “tummy” which is what Claud tries to say. That’s basically what I was told until I had the birds and the bees chat a few years later. They’re acting like they have to explain TEH SEXXXX or something. MA cuts Claud off and says that Mr. and Mrs. P should be the ones to tell her, which is true, though I still find nothing wrong with “tummy” for explaining to a four-year-old. MA distracts Jenny by noting the presents in the cradle and Jenny says, “That used to be my cradle” and narrows her eyes. She doesn’t pitch a fit or anything, but MA says, “I give up.” Seriously, MA? You suck.
Jenny is disappointed that she gets smaller presents than the baby, but even while disappointed, she doesn’t cause a disruption or anything. MA still is freaking out about this behavior. But I suppose Karen biting her father’s hand at his own WEDDING is better? Enough with the Karen-wing propaganda!
Jenny says that she hates the baby. Oh noesssss!
Chapter 12!
V-day!
Sharon puts red food coloring the butter and I am SHOCKED that Dawn does not complain about additives or butter in general. SHOCKED, I tell you.
At the meeting, MA confesses she’s scared about the V-day job at Logan’s because she doesn’t want to see Logan and Olivia going on a date. The others look very, very confused and MA finally realizes how insane she’s been acting in creating a fictitious girl.
She runs out of the meeting and doesn’t elaborate, then off to the job!
Logan answers the door in a tux and has a corsage all ready. (This I find pretty funny. A 13-year-old in a tux for Valentine’s Day?!)
Logan smiles shyly and says Happy V-day then leads her inside to show her the table set up for a fancy dinner with candles. MA STILL thinks he’s going out with Olivia and doesn’t get it. Logan has to explain that it’s a surprise for her. Turns out his whole family is shut up in another part of the house under penalty of death if they try to escape and interrupt.
MA says she thought they were cooling their relationship and Logan cuts her off and is like “yeah, but I’m ready to warm it up.” So we’ve learned something here: Logan hasn’t changed or learned anything from their separation. How awesome would this surprise have been if he said, “I know we’re cooling it off, but I care about you and miss you. I wanted to surprise you, spend V-day with you, and talk out any problems we’re having so we can work it out.” That would have been the correct approach. High standards for a 13-year-old, I suppose, but in the land of Stoneybrook where four-year-olds have PhDs, why not?
Logan gives MA presents. Five pounds of candy (whoa, expensive! And quite excessive) and a pretty bracelet made of hearts. Logan kisses her on the cheek and then grabs the yummy food. MA feels bad that she didn’t get anything, Logan doesn’t care because he gets something else…(gutter mind, stop stop stoppppppppppppppp!)
Logan is incredibly sweet, but then is an ass again when MA brings up the cooling. He’s all like, “We did, gosh. Now I’m ready to start up again.” Now waiiiiiiiii
Seriously, is Logan going to do this forever?
Logan: I decided I wanted to get married.
MA: I told you I didn’t.
Logan: I know, but I want to. So we’re doin’ it!
Chapter 13!
Jessi’s obnoxious handwriting, ew. Unexpected sitting job not set up by the club, woo! Mrs. P is in labor!
Anyway, from the way this chapter was written, it’s implied that Mr. P called every single other sitter and the lines were busy or they were out. So Jessi’s the last resort. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaangst. Actually, she doesn’t complain at all.
We get this weird mention of Aunt Cecelia driving really slowly and watching a squirrel dart across the road after dropping Jessi off. Ok…is this to prove she’s nice after book #36? Oh, wait, it’s to show a dichotomy between her being slower than a snail and Jessi sprinting to the front door. Mr. P explains some stuff about Jenny sleeping and not knowing they’re leaving. Mrs. P keeps calling to her husband that they need to leave immediately and he keeps going, “K” but then talking to Jessi about stuff she already should know.
Jessi makes Jenny breakfast and she comes downstairs and is wondering where her parents are. Jessi actually is likable in this chapter unlike before in the book. She kindly explains that the baby is coming and tells Jenny about the stork being a story. GOOD. Jenny is quiet and Jessi fears that she’s all mad but instead she laughs and says she thought it sounded like a dumb story.
The phone rings and Jenny shows that she likes the baby by calling it “her” baby when she thinks the phone call is from her father. It turns out to be a telemarketer. The next call is from her dad.
Jenny hopes the baby will come soon and Jessi concludes it’s because she wants her parents to come home faster. That could be it, but she also calls it “her baby,” indicating affection there. Kids can be stubborn, so no surprise here.
Mr. P calls and the baby is a girl named Andrea. Yay, that’s my name! Ahem, sorry just get excited when I see my names in books and movies because it’s not often. Yet when I went away to college FIVE of us were in the same dorm. Back to the story. Jenny looks sad and says she wanted a brother. Doesn’t throw a fit and just quietly goes upstairs. Jessi looks after her “hopelessly.” Seriously, girls? You rant and rave about Kristy’s life being so hard and extraordinary and you cannot comprehend a four-year-old girl having trouble adjusting to a new sibling after being the only child for so long? Not to mention, she’s not even causing trouble for the most part, just looking glum. Calm down, guys.
Chapter 14!
Jenny is reading and sad that her mother and father won’t have time for her ever again. MA explains otherwise and uses Mal as an example. MA does more comparisons and is exasperated that Jenny is only half-accepting of them. Little kids aren’t 100% rational, MA, so you calm down instead of telling Jenny to. And you, who make up fictitious romantic pairings to freak out about, are not rational, either. To make a long story short, Jenny sees her sister and it’s love at first sight. Yay.
Chapter 15!
Quickie end to the book. MA grows a spine and decides she doesn’t want to be owned or controlled. So she calls Logan and awesomely tells him that he should come in the spur of the moment because she does when he calls. They meet in the empty park, it’s kind of late, and Logan immediately tries to kiss MA. After her attitude on the phone, he thinks she is all anxious to get him here…to neck with him. SERIOUSLY? She pulls away and put a hand over his mouth and then he is surprised. But then he tries to kiss her again. Wut.
MA accuses him of not taking cooling off seriously and he denies it. She says that he didn’t even ask her before starting the relationship up again and he says, “I don’t need to ask your permission for anything.” Sure, when it’s a matter concerning yourself, but in a relationship that has TWO people, yes you do, bro. If he stays this dense, Logan’s going to stack up some heavy sexual harassment charges.
MA says it would have been courteous to ask her before starting the relationship and he taunts her by asking if she’s Miss Manners. Jerk. She then retains a spine by saying she wants freedom and to be independent. Ever oblivious, Logan asks for a translation. She says she wants to break up and the relationship’s going nowhere. Frankly, I agree since Logan has no concept of consent, is exceedingly dense, and is disrespectful. Sure, the sweet V-day surprise was nice, but also presumptuously handled. Being nice once doesn’t smooth over something. Sadly, MA returns the bracelet and they bid each other farewell.
Fin.
Now MA can move on to someone else but waitasecond! They get back together in the span of 5 books. -_-
Maybe I should snark that one next to see if Logan deserves rekindling! But of course he probably doesn’t and will continue to pressure MA continually!
Run, Mary Anne!
Chapter 2!
MA stresses about the relationship and feels out of control. This is a G-rated version of a bullying relationship/marriage type of Lifetime movie.
MA snubs her best friends (Dawn and Kristy) in favor of calling Stacey and Claudia for advice about men. Stacey I can see, but not Claudia. Not really. She goes on a few dates and doesn’t get a steady boyfriend until the very end of the series. And because the series ended right afterward, we don’t know how things worked out with her and Alan. Maybe Alan Gray decided to date his way through the BSC since first he had Kristy, then Claudia, Dawn in the movie… (this speculation is way more fun than this chapter, sorry). So, I don’t think she’s much of an authority. Stacey’s line is busy so unfortunately MA must turn to Claud. As I suspected, Claudia listens but has no advice.
CH 2 HIGHLIGHT TIME!
• Blah, blah, blah about Kristy’s unusual family. But why oh why- Kristy complains she doesn’t see Andrew and Karen enough. I usually love Andrew but Karen? Four days a month + baby-sitting times= too much! Also, MA says that Kristy has a boyfriend, Bart! D’awwwwww. I actually like Kristy and Bart together though I wasn’t aware they were really dating at this point. I know things don’t get hot and heavy (by BSC standards) until #96.
• This book says that Kristy doesn’t wear a bra and it bothers her. Since when does it bother her? She never seemed to care before, except when sad that she was alone after MA got one. I remember being a tomboy and getting breasts was annoying because they can get in the way of sports, not to be too TMI. MA says she can’t describe Kristy without describing herself even though they’re opposites. Do I really need to hear that you’re shy AGAIN, MA?
• We hear another complaint about Kristy wearing jeans and stuff. So…? The same turtleneck everyday is not good, but there’s nothing wrong with jeans and T-shirts.
• Dawn is GORGEOUS. She doesn’t care what people think. Riiiiiiiiight and I’m Princess Leia’s cousin twice removed. Dawn dresses “California casual” style. While, here in L.A. casual is often a T-shirt and jeans (and I’m sure this sort of outfit is everywhere else, too). But when Kristy wears shit like this it’s not cool! Too bad, Kristy, cuz if you were from California you’d be “cool!”
• Claudia wears the TRENDIEST CLOTHES YOU CAN IMAGINE. “If it tastes good and is bad for you, Claudia likes it.” DRUGSSSSSSS. These girls are going to massively fail at dressing properly if the Ms. Frizzle look has more credibility than casual style (only Ms. Frizzle can pull it off, so no offense to her!).
Copy my style, bitch, and I WILL cut you.
• If Claudia didn’t read mysteries, she wouldn’t read at all. So the Kishis should be pleased. She is “smart” but a poor student. I dunno…
• Stacey is glamorous, but her life is not. Oh, living in a high rise in NYC with every comfort you need, going to fancy shows and dinners is not living a glamorous life? My mistake. MA blames the diabeetus and the divorce. Divorce is sad and having any illness is not pleasant, but diabetes, especially in this case, is TREATABLE. No wonder Stacey’s mom didn’t want to tell in BSC land if it’s such a stigma in these books. My old roommate’s boyfriend JUST got diagnosed and she has it, too. They were both fine once it was diagnosed and they got treatment. And this “one M&M” crap is such bull. My aforementioned friends would be totally dead if that was true and it would have happened ages ago. I really have to wonder how Ann got her mistaken info on this. Also, was I the only one as a kid who was afraid of getting it because of how bad these books made it sound? I got scared when I was thirsty, just like book #118 made me scared about seeing halos around lights. Thanks, BSC books, for instilling erroneously based fears into the minds of children since 1986.
• This book says Stacey is a “brittle” diabetic. Let me look that up real quick. Ah, here we go. In all fairness, it looks like this type of diabetes means care must be taken to avoid a spike in blood sugar levels and to maintain steady levels and it’s harder than with other forms of diabetes. However, it looks like this was added in to cover the asses of the writer (at this point, just AMM) after complaints from readers who really are diabetic, don’t you think so? I’m no expert, but from what I can find Stacey would be able to eat sweets occasionally even if a brittle diabetic as long she maintained a good diet on other occasions. It also said to avoid white potatoes and starches, so when she eats bread in book 8 and just about every BSC book, oh noes! That was obviously before the brittle excuse when the author was only thinking of the sugar and processed cheese angle. I know a few members of the community here are diabetic; any of you guys know about brittle diabetes and want to explain? I trust you guys to know what you’re talking about unlike a certain author.
• Mal can’t get contacts and is le sad; Jessi is REALLY talented.
Chapter 3!
This chapter starts with a sticky, scary stain on Claudia’s bed. It’s brown, eeeeek! And Claudia smells it and figures out it’s chocolate. Girls, what did you really think it was? Claudia may be dumb, but not incontinent. Claudia covers it up with a quilt and says she’ll worry about it later. She’ll probably forget and wake up smelling like chocolate.
We get an amusing show of Kristy thundering up the stairs to the meeting. Can you imagine if the door wasn’t open and no one let her into the house? BAHAHA she’d climb the tree into Claudia’s room or something.
“No one answered the door, so I thought I’d just let myself in.”
Oops! MA says that there are two members that don’t come to meetings and she’ll explain them later- but we’ve already been given an explanation about Logan smoochie-poo!
After more explaining, MA shows she has been drinking the Kool-Aid by declaring that she’s proud to be a member.
Stacey collects the dues with a “gleam” in her eyes. “She LOVES collecting money.” I fear you guys aren’t far off on implying she’s got a future as a streetwalker or will have loads of sugar daddies.
Anyway, MA says that Mrs. Prezzioso is going to have the baby in a few weeks and Jessi cuts her off by SHRIEKING at her not to tell them the sex of the baby. JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ, Jessi, want to tone it down there? I can understand some people wanting to wait, but calm down! Kristy gives a job to Dawn because she wants to spend time with Karen and Andrew.
MISTER PREZZIOSO LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES and he calls presumably because Mrs. P is either experiencing morning sickness or getting ready for a ball. Nope, it’s surprise baby shower time. Awwww, how cute. This already sounds like a much better home life than the Brewer household. I still want to grind my teeth thinking about the whole Emily Michelle adoption handling. At least The Prezziosos are trying to prepare Jenny for a baby sister. Spoiling her rotten isn’t the best idea, of course, but they’re trying to make sure she’s ok and not scared her parents are neglecting her unlike Watson and Elizabeth.
Chapter 4!
“Ahhhhh,” MA moans. No, MA, don’t give into peer pressure! Nope, she’s just reading Wuthering Heights. I like this side of MA, as she also was reading things like Little Women. I remember being sad I didn’t know anyone reading these books in 8th grade, too. I’m also jealous of the snowfall that’s there for ambiance and pleasure. MA says she is “gigundo happy.” Shhhhh, we don’t want Karen to arrive. All these Karen references are scaring me because I fear she’s going to pop up! Just throw in some scary music and it will be a horror movie.
Logan then shows up and we get an unnecessary Southern accent phonetically spelled for us. When I read his dialogue, I definitely throw off the accent. MA stands there awkwardly until he says, “Aren’t you going to let me in?” Awkward sauce. He then says they’re going skating on the pond because it’s perfect. While I’m totally jealous of anyone who’s able to do that with snow and all, Logan should be asking, not telling. When MA hesitates the slightest bit, Logan says, “I thought Dawn said you were looking forward to today.” But who said anything about you being part of it? Logan is dumb.
There is a cute scene of them walking in the snow and MA tying his laces at the park. Whenever MA says anything, Logan spouts out his own conclusion. Annoying! MA gets really, really cold and asks to stop. Logan keeps interrupting and ignoring MA without realizing it. He helps a couple of kids build a snowman and doesn’t pay attention when MA is freezing and doesn’t ask why she’s limping. When she objects to building snow angels in a quiet area of the part, Logan says, “We’re kids today, remember?” You sure are. I’m also glad she didn’t get on the ground next to him. I feel like I have a really, really dirty mind when reading this. Anyway, he buys them hot chocolate and MA is pleased to see a cardinal flying around. Logan looks at her happily, but instead of kissing her or saying something nice, he demands they go skating again. When MA says she’s freezing, Logan says, “You can’t be that cold.” Fuck off, Logan. This chapter is riddled with descriptions of MA being so cold that she can barely move. It sounds like she underdressed, perhaps, but she’s clearly miserable. So Logan should stop being selfish. MA is mad inside but stammers that she wants to go home. He gets huffy about it and marches away. Come on, seriously? Sounds like he needs a baby-sitter if he can’t handle that his girlfriend is cold and wants to leave sooner than he does.
Chapter 5!
Baby-sitting chapter, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. It’s Kristy and-oh,no oh,no oh,no…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Time for Karen.
I can’t recap it entirely for my own sanity’s sake, but let’s just say that she is sad about Ricky Torres.
Can I interject in here? You know how many of us were told as children (and we also see it on TV and in movies) that when someone bullies you or teases you, they must have a crush on you? I HATE that. Ricky kind of fits into that stereotype. Not nice to Karen, must like her! Obviouslyyyy.
By this point they are about to get “married.” I won’t say it’s stupid since I love Tom Sawyer and he wanted to “marry” Becky Thatcher. That’s a story where it’s actually cute when someone says something silly and acts rambunctious, like when Tom protests to Becky about a prior engagement “that was a whole month ago!” That’s a story about a troublemaker that you can love. Anything involving Karen is not.
Anyway, we start with a gloomy, rainy day. David Michael and Andrew are running around chasing each other and yelling and Kristy is so distracted by Karen not being bad that she is too worried about her to put a stop to the running. Good skills there, Kristy. If they trip on the floor and bang their heads, we’ll know who to blame.
Karen is sulking with her hand under her chin. “Her eyes seemed to say, ‘Everything in my life is wrong.’” Kristy, she’s seven, she’ll get over it! Ricky and Karen have had a fight and now aren’t getting married.
Oops, someone did trip! Emily Michelle who no one really pays attention to. I was actually ok with Kristy pulling Karen into the den with the door ajar because at seven and four both David Michael and Andrew should be ok for a couple minutes, but EM is TWO. Not a good idea to let her run around without supervision, especially since two much bigger kids are running past her. EM is ok and giggles that she wants to run more even though she slipped. You’re lucky, K. Ron.
The kids then make V-day cards and DM writes one that says, “You look like a monkey and you smell like one, too.” I actually snorted when he says afterward, “Maybe I won’t sign my name on this one.” It’s also funny to note DM writes this to a bully who teases all the girls. Is he jealous that this dude interacts with the girls more or just protective? Either way, I like DM way more than Karen, but we barely see anything of him!
Anyway, Karen lets Kristy know in private what the big fight was all about with Ricky Torres. They were forced to go to meanie-mo Pamela’s birthday party and planned to play tricks. But Ricky didn’t and even SMILED at Pamela. Call the presses! So Karen got mad. Then Ricky put ink on a drawing of hers on purpose. Then she put chewing gum under his desk. Karen had way worse fights in the LS books so I don’t see what’s so amazingly bad about this one.
Then Andrew dumps glitter on DM’s hair and says he looks cool like a punk rocker. I actually find that really cute. Andrew admires DM. Yeah, it would be annoying but DM’s not going anywhere and it’ll come out easily. No one paid attention to EM who couldn’t open anything and got glue all over herself and hair, which she’s brushing out of her eyes and thank God didn’t get IN her eyes.
Emily is sad about having a bath and Karen randomly says among this dialogue, “I am so sad.” Yeah, we know.
Kristy asks Karen to grab a book for her to read aloud to them and she sighs “like Kristy asked her to clean the whole house.” She returns with a book called The Dead Bird. EMO! Kristy says, “Couldn’t you have picked anything more cheerful?” And Karen says, “No” with a big sigh. Instead of selecting a nicer book, Kristy reads that one. I haven’t read it but it sounds awfully sad. Notice here how Karen sighs and shit and Kristy just looks sad for her and doesn’t complain? Well when Jenny sighs later and looks glum they make a big tizzy over it. BSC, would you like some fries with your bias?
Chapter 6!
MA returns home early from a date. She was supposed to be back at eleven (whoa, later curfew than BSC hours!)
The night began with a massive fuckup on Logan’s part. MA had been dreaming all day about ordering a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich with a vanilla milkshake. But meanie-mo Logan orders them both cheeseburgers and Cokes. Reminds me of Travis from #37. To Logan’s credit, he does apologize and offer to summon the waiter back and MA also orders these items most of the time. But still, ordering for someone is rude unless you planned ahead specifically. It’s also funny that when ordering he says “my friend will have the same.” I thought you were a little more than friends, pal.
Logan utterly fails in this next scene.
“All right, time for Halloween Part III!” Wouldn’t basically anyone just say Halloween III, without including “part?” “I hope you haven’t seen it, Mary Anne.”
Um, if you’re going on a date to the movies, don’t you plan ahead as to which movie you’re seeing? It rarely works out well if you go and decide which movie there at the theater, at least not in any case I’ve been in. Second, MA hates gore and horror and anything disturbing, LOGAN. Why would she want to see it and how in the holy mother of Kami-sama would she have gone to see it anyway!
MA stammers that she thought they were seeing The Music Man. So they did prearrange this? EXPLAIN, ANN!
Nope, they just argue over it because he says that The Music Man is a kid’s movie and she says Halloween is gross. I’ve seen neither (only saw the first Halloween) , so I don’t care to take any side, but I will say that if someone hates horror films, why would you expect them to see Halloween willingly?
Logan gets mad when MA says she wants to go home since they can’t decide.
She says to herself, “Nothing could be worse than this evening, ever.” Really. Really? REALLY?! Gosh, if only I could have your priorities, MA, because if that was your worst night ever, I’m jealous.
Uh oh, Richard wants to have a talk. What could it be? From the way the girls talk about him sometimes, it makes me picture this:
Richard has some tough standards.
JK! Richard tells MA that he misses her and is concerned about her because he thinks she and Logan are seeing each other too much. He plays the good parent by noting how unhappy she seems (see, other crackhead/high parents in Stoneybrook? Some parents CAN recognize warning signs and actually pay attention to their children!) and noting that her grades are slipping which is unlike her. He doesn’t rag on her about the grades, but is worried that it’s not like her so he can tell something’s wrong. I like Richard in this book! She agrees with him. Dawn is shocked to hear the news that MA agreed with her father.
MA says she feels Logan took part of her. I want to snark it since their relationship isn’t very serious and they’re only thirteen, but he is being creepy and controlling, so it’s good that she’s noticing lack of control. Dawn asks if Logan took it or MA let him. MA thinks, “She is so smart.” So smart that she’ll change her entire individual fantastique self for a guy multiple times!
Dawn also whines that she thought Logan and MA would marry and have children. THEY’RE THIRTEEN. THEY HAVEN’T BEEN DATING THAT LONG BY ACTUAL BOOK STANDARDS. She’s not joking either. She really wants to be the maid of honor. I guess when you drink the Kool-Aid a commitment is a commitment.
What’s that, you want to break up? Here, have some of this….
MA calls Logan to cool off the relationship for a bit and almost chickens out but then Logan says, “You’re calling to apologize, right?” Yes, Logan, because obviously it was all MA’s fault! What a prick.
When he hears the news he says, “Cool our relationship. WHY?!” As if nothing’s wrong. There haven’t been any problems. Ever. Not even the one he thinks MA’s calling to apologize for. This boy is so dense.
MA explains how she feels controlled and then Logan agrees to let them cool it off.
Chapter 7!
MA is sad when Logan doesn’t say hi when he passes her or leave her a note. Well, honey, at least he’s keeping his part of the deal about cooling it off. I thought you’d be pleased since he called you a jillion times last time you asked him to stop.
She is also le sad when Logan doesn’t sit at her table even though he doesn’t always. For the past several weeks he hadn’t missed a day, apparently.
Kristy amusingly asks why Logan isn’t here in MA’s lap and she gets mad. She bullshits that he’s with the guys for guy time and then the girls talk about, what else, baby-sitting.
MA sees Logan waiting at her locker and is scared that he’ll want to break up. He’s actually just saying hi before bouncing.
MA then becomes creepy because her homework becomes Logan. Faces become his, math turns into relations to him.
Dawn comforts MA and gives divorce examples. Girls, girls, girls! Cooling off a juvi relationship does not equate to real divorce.
Chapter 8!
Mal sits for Jenny and Jenny has new toys that teach her how to diaper a baby. Mal jokes that Jenny can soon join the BSC, which Jenny fortunately does not take seriously. Fortunately, Mal does a good job convincing Jenny of the perks of being the oldest and how awesome it is to be a “big girl” and able to express herself. This chapter is so boring and makes the Logan and MA garbage look entertaining. Jenny is still sad about facing change, which is quite normal.
Chapter 9!
MA cries all afternoon. Come on, really? I thought you were miserable in the relationship?
Oh, here we go. Now MA tells the BSC the news and says she fears Logan misinterpreted “cool off” as “break up.” Jessi then shrieks that she can’t believe they’re breaking up, OMG. This girl is too young to baby-sit, plain and simple. Also, is it that hard to talk to Logan to make sure he knows what she meant? Leave him a note if you can’t talk to him in person.
Bahaha, editing error! “’And then Toby came along,’ Mary Anne reminded me.” Was no one paying attention? Not as bad as the infamous error of MA’s mother helping out Mrs. McGill, but still.
Claudia talks about all the times she fell in love. Ah, so that’s why MA thinks she’s queen of dating, those blasted Super Special books! I still think “falling in love” is so silly for them to say. “We went out a couple times. We’re in love.” Reminds me of sitcom shows and dating.
“Ow, ow, ow!” spazzes Jessi. “All this separating, ouch!” Thankfully, the others also look at her like she’s crazy. Why is Jessi being even more annoying than Mallory in this book? No wonder Aunt Cecelia thinks she needs a baby-sitter.
Karen the Emo calls to ask for a sitter for Moosie and Goosie for fifteen cents an hour. Kristy nicely says to introduce them to other stuffed animals and calms her after speaking for a couple of minutes.
Then Logan calls to say that on V-day his parents are out and so is he so he needs her to sit for his brother and sister since they miss her. MA accepts and then freaks the fuck out about who he’s going out with, this new girlfriend. First of all, you’re not broken up and stop jumping to conclusions. Second, Logan didn’t treat you well and you’re finally in control but still acting whiny and ridiculous.
Chapter 10!
MA obsesses- and I mean obsesses- over Logan’s new “girlfriend.” She fucking NAMES her (Olivia) and imagines their future together. At thirteen when I was starting to notice boys more, I was well-aware that if anything happened, it would be minor because we were so young. I never went around thinking, “Wow, we’ll get married and live in a big house and move to…” She then proceeds to give Olivia characteristics. This is disturbing.
MA is baby-sitting Jenny again and is annoyed because she’s doing baby talk and wants to be a baby again. MA stupidly lets Jenny out of her sight for a long time while fantasizing about Olivia and Logan, and Jenny makes a mess of the baby’s room. MA finally gains a spine and makes her clean it up and then lets Jenny learn about how hard it is to be a baby not being allowed to do certain things or communicate. Jenny smiles and says she feels bad for babies.
Chapter 11
MA gets a phone call from a man. “It’s time,” he says and MA hangs up quickly. Raise your hand if your mind was in the gutter on that one folks, because mine was. Instead it’s Mr. P calling about the baby shower. Couldn’t they have just said that instead of having a man call MA in a gruff voice and saying, “It’s time”?
So about this baby shower, I’ll recap it as briefly as possible: Mrs. P being surprised, friend invited her out to lunch to get her out of house, Claudia + Stacey+ MA sweep in to set up baby shower. Mr. P is actually smart and plans it out perfectly to she’ll be surprised, even having the guests park on other streets so she won’t get suspicious. The one thing that worries me is scaring a heavily pregnant woman.
The man with the cake shows up and Mr. P smartly makes sure it’s the right cake. It’s not. “Nope,” says the delivery man because it’s the completely wrong cake and for a birthday. “He looked unconcerned.” And he just stands there. Is this guy high? Seriously, isn’t the correct response, “Oh, sorry. Let me go get you the right one.” ?? Mr. P has to tell HIM to go check his truck for the right one because the guy just stands there all herp derp on the steps like it’s no big deal. Methinks he got no tip. “Alright-y,” the dude says on the way to his truck. He’s going to toke it up first before returning, though.
How I would like to imagine the delivery driver.
MA dresses Jenny while the other dress up the living room for the baby shower. MA oohhhs and ahhhhs over the decorations and says the room looks like a “pastel cloud.”
Then we get Jenny asking about the stork decorations. She’s all like, “Wth is he doing? Storks bring babies?” Stacey stutters that that’s not exact it and then Jenny’s all like, “I’ll put a sign on the roof then that says, ‘DO NOT LEAVE BABIES HERE. EVER.’” Which I found amusing. The girls all freak out about how to tell her. I don’t see what’s so bad about saying that the baby’s in your mother’s “tummy” which is what Claud tries to say. That’s basically what I was told until I had the birds and the bees chat a few years later. They’re acting like they have to explain TEH SEXXXX or something. MA cuts Claud off and says that Mr. and Mrs. P should be the ones to tell her, which is true, though I still find nothing wrong with “tummy” for explaining to a four-year-old. MA distracts Jenny by noting the presents in the cradle and Jenny says, “That used to be my cradle” and narrows her eyes. She doesn’t pitch a fit or anything, but MA says, “I give up.” Seriously, MA? You suck.
Jenny is disappointed that she gets smaller presents than the baby, but even while disappointed, she doesn’t cause a disruption or anything. MA still is freaking out about this behavior. But I suppose Karen biting her father’s hand at his own WEDDING is better? Enough with the Karen-wing propaganda!
Jenny says that she hates the baby. Oh noesssss!
Chapter 12!
V-day!
Sharon puts red food coloring the butter and I am SHOCKED that Dawn does not complain about additives or butter in general. SHOCKED, I tell you.
At the meeting, MA confesses she’s scared about the V-day job at Logan’s because she doesn’t want to see Logan and Olivia going on a date. The others look very, very confused and MA finally realizes how insane she’s been acting in creating a fictitious girl.
She runs out of the meeting and doesn’t elaborate, then off to the job!
Logan answers the door in a tux and has a corsage all ready. (This I find pretty funny. A 13-year-old in a tux for Valentine’s Day?!)
Logan smiles shyly and says Happy V-day then leads her inside to show her the table set up for a fancy dinner with candles. MA STILL thinks he’s going out with Olivia and doesn’t get it. Logan has to explain that it’s a surprise for her. Turns out his whole family is shut up in another part of the house under penalty of death if they try to escape and interrupt.
MA says she thought they were cooling their relationship and Logan cuts her off and is like “yeah, but I’m ready to warm it up.” So we’ve learned something here: Logan hasn’t changed or learned anything from their separation. How awesome would this surprise have been if he said, “I know we’re cooling it off, but I care about you and miss you. I wanted to surprise you, spend V-day with you, and talk out any problems we’re having so we can work it out.” That would have been the correct approach. High standards for a 13-year-old, I suppose, but in the land of Stoneybrook where four-year-olds have PhDs, why not?
Logan gives MA presents. Five pounds of candy (whoa, expensive! And quite excessive) and a pretty bracelet made of hearts. Logan kisses her on the cheek and then grabs the yummy food. MA feels bad that she didn’t get anything, Logan doesn’t care because he gets something else…(gutter mind, stop stop stoppppppppppppppp!)
Logan is incredibly sweet, but then is an ass again when MA brings up the cooling. He’s all like, “We did, gosh. Now I’m ready to start up again.” Now waiiiiiiiii
Seriously, is Logan going to do this forever?
Logan: I decided I wanted to get married.
MA: I told you I didn’t.
Logan: I know, but I want to. So we’re doin’ it!
Chapter 13!
Jessi’s obnoxious handwriting, ew. Unexpected sitting job not set up by the club, woo! Mrs. P is in labor!
Anyway, from the way this chapter was written, it’s implied that Mr. P called every single other sitter and the lines were busy or they were out. So Jessi’s the last resort. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaangst. Actually, she doesn’t complain at all.
We get this weird mention of Aunt Cecelia driving really slowly and watching a squirrel dart across the road after dropping Jessi off. Ok…is this to prove she’s nice after book #36? Oh, wait, it’s to show a dichotomy between her being slower than a snail and Jessi sprinting to the front door. Mr. P explains some stuff about Jenny sleeping and not knowing they’re leaving. Mrs. P keeps calling to her husband that they need to leave immediately and he keeps going, “K” but then talking to Jessi about stuff she already should know.
Jessi makes Jenny breakfast and she comes downstairs and is wondering where her parents are. Jessi actually is likable in this chapter unlike before in the book. She kindly explains that the baby is coming and tells Jenny about the stork being a story. GOOD. Jenny is quiet and Jessi fears that she’s all mad but instead she laughs and says she thought it sounded like a dumb story.
The phone rings and Jenny shows that she likes the baby by calling it “her” baby when she thinks the phone call is from her father. It turns out to be a telemarketer. The next call is from her dad.
Jenny hopes the baby will come soon and Jessi concludes it’s because she wants her parents to come home faster. That could be it, but she also calls it “her baby,” indicating affection there. Kids can be stubborn, so no surprise here.
Mr. P calls and the baby is a girl named Andrea. Yay, that’s my name! Ahem, sorry just get excited when I see my names in books and movies because it’s not often. Yet when I went away to college FIVE of us were in the same dorm. Back to the story. Jenny looks sad and says she wanted a brother. Doesn’t throw a fit and just quietly goes upstairs. Jessi looks after her “hopelessly.” Seriously, girls? You rant and rave about Kristy’s life being so hard and extraordinary and you cannot comprehend a four-year-old girl having trouble adjusting to a new sibling after being the only child for so long? Not to mention, she’s not even causing trouble for the most part, just looking glum. Calm down, guys.
Chapter 14!
Jenny is reading and sad that her mother and father won’t have time for her ever again. MA explains otherwise and uses Mal as an example. MA does more comparisons and is exasperated that Jenny is only half-accepting of them. Little kids aren’t 100% rational, MA, so you calm down instead of telling Jenny to. And you, who make up fictitious romantic pairings to freak out about, are not rational, either. To make a long story short, Jenny sees her sister and it’s love at first sight. Yay.
Chapter 15!
Quickie end to the book. MA grows a spine and decides she doesn’t want to be owned or controlled. So she calls Logan and awesomely tells him that he should come in the spur of the moment because she does when he calls. They meet in the empty park, it’s kind of late, and Logan immediately tries to kiss MA. After her attitude on the phone, he thinks she is all anxious to get him here…to neck with him. SERIOUSLY? She pulls away and put a hand over his mouth and then he is surprised. But then he tries to kiss her again. Wut.
MA accuses him of not taking cooling off seriously and he denies it. She says that he didn’t even ask her before starting the relationship up again and he says, “I don’t need to ask your permission for anything.” Sure, when it’s a matter concerning yourself, but in a relationship that has TWO people, yes you do, bro. If he stays this dense, Logan’s going to stack up some heavy sexual harassment charges.
MA says it would have been courteous to ask her before starting the relationship and he taunts her by asking if she’s Miss Manners. Jerk. She then retains a spine by saying she wants freedom and to be independent. Ever oblivious, Logan asks for a translation. She says she wants to break up and the relationship’s going nowhere. Frankly, I agree since Logan has no concept of consent, is exceedingly dense, and is disrespectful. Sure, the sweet V-day surprise was nice, but also presumptuously handled. Being nice once doesn’t smooth over something. Sadly, MA returns the bracelet and they bid each other farewell.
Fin.
Now MA can move on to someone else but waitasecond! They get back together in the span of 5 books. -_-
Maybe I should snark that one next to see if Logan deserves rekindling! But of course he probably doesn’t and will continue to pressure MA continually!
Run, Mary Anne!