BSC #41: Mary Anne vs. Logan Chapter 1
This time I'm going to snark the book I last referred to as "Mary Anne and the Emotionally Abusive, Future Wife-beater Logan"- and I'm going to do it all in one big chunk! Prayers for my sanity and yours, please. I have to do the first chapter a la carte due to the massive size of the post and LJ getting mad over it. I really, really, stubbornly wanted to include these so I apologize for any formatting issues. I really had to battle with LJ over this! Chapter One is the longest of all I've snarked so I won't have to do this BS one chapter at a time bit for the rest of the entry.
Here we go!
The cover:
I actually really like it. Both of them look really cute smiling at each other in winter clothes and I like the snow in the background. Despite the fact that they look a little older than they should, I think this is among my favorite covers of the BSC series. The tagline isn’t Hodges fault, of course, so I won’t blame him for the supreme cheesiness that the BSC thought a thirteen-year-old couple who only recently started dating according to canon would be together FOR-E-VER. Which reminds me of this:
5ever>4evur
Chapter 1
We start with Mary Anne already being self-conscious and freaking out about what to wear. Any guess on where she’s going? A school dance, and outing with Logan? Nope- she’s freaking out about what to wear while baby-sitting Jenny Prezzioso. Even Dawn is logical enough to point out that there’s no reason to care, but Mary Anne wants to impress Mrs. P because she dressed her daughter and herself up all the time. I don’t really know why this is necessary. I can understand a good impression, but really? She then says that Mrs. P is “worse” because she’s preggers. GASP! But honestly, is Mrs. P so bad? She likes to dress up. Even if it’s weird, like the cocktail dress at a basketball fiasco in book #4, Mary Anne seems to have forgotten something: CLAUDIA has an eccentric fashion sense, too. And since Mrs. P doesn’t seem to be a bitch or anything, I wouldn’t care what she dressed like or worry about her opinion to such an extent. And I’d baby-sit Jenny any day over Karen Brewer. ANY DAY.
In an example of indiscreet plot revelation, Dawn shrieks, “I can’t believe that we know what the baby is going to be, but the rest of the BSC members don’t. They don’t even want to know, Mary Anne.” Mary Anne already knows this information and this piece of “dialogue” is supposed to be informative for us as readers; I’ll try not to snap out how awkward it would be if I went around talking like that to my friends. Instead I’ll snark! :D Let’s say my roommate’s boyfriend wasn’t coming over tonight and we both knew it well. It would be beyond awkward for me to be talking to her and carrying on, “He’s not even coming tonight, Nicole!” when she already knows.
Chapter 2 stuff in Chapter 1 again. Awww, man.
Here are some highlights:
• Mary Anne bets that she’s the shyest person in the whole school. Also, she and Logan haven’t been getting along lately.
• The infamous sailing accident comes up. Dawn and the others were stranded, yada yada. This one deserves its own bullet point for the sheer rage it invokes. First, Mary Anne says she was so worried about her friends, but THEN says that she couldn’t search for them because she has fair skin that burns easily. REALLY?! I thought you guys were joking about this shit. WTF was Ann thinking when she wrote this sentence? Did she really think we’d support MA and still think she was sweet and kind after a selfish sentence like this? Ever heard of sunscreen? Then it gets even worse when she says that she and Logan had a fight right before Dawn and the others got lost over something little and he couldn’t put it aside even when they were lost. Yeah, that’s douchey, but MA, you didn’t even help because you were more worried about your complexion! So don’t imply that Logan is the only selfish one. Ugh, Page 3 and I need a drink. “I learned that Logan and I can’t always trust each other. I learned that Logan can’t be counted on in a crisis.” NEITHER CAN YOU!
• MA talks about all these fights and Logan being pushy. For once I’m glad this is the BSC because I do NOT want to see a book in which Logan pressures MA for sex or anything like that. Yuck! Anyway, she goes on and on AND on about these fights they’ve had then says, “Sometimes I think I’m falling out of love with Logan, but I don’t think so.” Um, you just said sometimes you don’t and sometimes you do. “Not over a few tiffs and misunderstandings.” Especially the boat incident and the pushiness sound like more than minor problems, but sure, whatever you say, MA.
I think I got lucky picking books because Dawn is being nice in this one. Yay, cuz I don’t think I could handle any more WTFery than we’re going to get. Also, we all know that MA is not the little nice girl she pretends to be so the more Dawn does this, the more she’ll dodge bullets.
MA in her Little House glory. Suck it, Stacey!Dawn tells MA she looks nice and like a princess even though she’s in jeans and a sweater, then offers to find answer the phone so MA can “find her crown” aka finish getting ready. It’s not much, but Dawn is not being self-absorbed or ranting about meat. Hallelujah! The phone is for MA and Dawn leaves the room after handing over the receiver, a surefire sign it’s Logan Loverboy on the line! Logan hears that MA is going on a sitting job but asks if she’ll come to a movie instead. Really? She just said she has a commitment, man! His balls are lucky Kristy wasn’t there hearing this. When Mary Anne says she can’t, Logan childishly responds, “Aw, come on. You and I are a couple, Mary Anne.” So she’s supposed to drop plans for you at the drop of a hat? Do you use that to justify everything? SEE if this wasn’t BSC-land I could picture a sexual pressure thing going down. “Come on, we’re a couple.” MA obviously sounds reluctant and uncomfortable, but Logan then pressures her to get Dawn to sit instead. Double lucky Kristy’s not there- that’s not how the BSC works. You should know, ASSOCIATE MEMBER. MA says she can’t do that to Dawn and then Logan sounds confused and asks if she won’t come to the movies with him. Why is he confused? She just explained why she couldn’t come!
At the Prezziosos, Jenny behaves just fine. She shows MA the presents she got and sounds excited. THIS is the kid that gets called a brat when Karen Brewer is a jillion times worse? Do you mean to tell me that Karen’s not spoiled, too? Logan calls the house and MA tells him she’s busy. He gets annoyed. WTF.
Baby-sitting: I do not think it means what you think it means.
Jenny knows that she needs to be a big girl because of the baby and also knows her mom wants her to like the baby. MA notes that Jenny seems to know she’s being bribed. Ya think?! Jenny does everything MA requests and falls asleep having a story read to her. You just know Karen the babblemouth wouldn’t have shut up and we’d have fifteen pages of her being annoying if this was a job involving her.
After Jenny falls asleep, the phone rings. Guess who?
I have to say that I think it’s really, really weird to have Logan calling the Prezzioso’s house to talk to MA for no good reason. The guy’s sitting at home on a Friday night and instead of being normal and doing something else since he’s not seeing a movie, he picks up the phone book and decides to barrage MA with phone calls. I am a creeper magnet and I have to say this sounds like the beginning of a creeper in the making. Anyway, Logan is just checking and they talk for two seconds as MA testily says it’s fine at the job. He asks if Jenny’s asleep yet, which makes me fear that he’s standing with binoculars outside the window. Thankfully, this is 1991 and Logan Bruno does not have a cell phone. And good thing for MA because you just know he’s be texting her 24/7 and she’d be too nice to put her phone on silent or turn it off. Or too worried that if it’s off or silent she’ll miss big news. Or K Ron will have demanded baby-sitters to keep their phones on and noisy just in case. Anyway, this is the text conversation I picture between them if they had cell phones:
Logan: Sleeping yet, babe?
MA: I WAS.
Logan: Ok, just checking.
MA: (doesn’t reply back)
Logan: Babe, still there?
MA: You woke me up again!
Logan: So….wanna come over?
MA: Logan, I’m sleeping!
Logan: (waits a few minutes) So, want me to come over?
MA: STOP, Logan. I need my beauty sleep.
Logan: Fine…
Logan: Child and creeper all in one!
And so it would probably be. It may sound like I’m exaggerating since Logan has only called twice at this point, but oh ho ho au contraire. The guy simply DOESN’T LISTEN. Also, even when Jenny was asleep he had nothing to say except, “just checking.” Why is he doing this?
Logan restrains himself for twenty whole minutes before calling again. I don’t want to know what he was doing while waiting. MA answers the phone by saying his name because she’s aware of how creepy he is. He asks if Jenny’s still asleep. THIS IS CREEPY. Why call if you have nothing to say to MA? Just trying to make sure your girlfriend’s not cheating on you instead? Finally, he has something to say besides creepy checking. He asks MA for a date on an evening when she’s free. I find this weird. Why couldn’t he wait until she’s at home to ask or ask her when he sees her at school? This dialogue makes it sound like they’ve never dated before and he’s asking her out for the first time. Anyway, they make plans for the next night and Logan decides they’ll do movies and a pizza. MA wonders what happened to her say in the relationship. So, say something! Also, the way Logan asks her out is annoying. “There must be SOME night when you’re not baby-sitting.” As far as this chapter implies, this is the only recent time he’s wanted to go somewhere and she’s been baby-sitting. So she shoots him down once and he acts all butthurt? For crying out loud, go see the movie yourself. Do you not have friends to go with? I guess he’s too busy stalking MA. If they’d met when older, it would have been like this:
Logan in his twenties. Drinking and still dense. God help us all.
I just realized that I spent almost seven pages of a word doc on chapter one. Whoops!
I'll post the rest when I recover from the anxiety that LJ gave me for posting these pictures. I'd be rich if I got a paycheck each time it told me that the post was too large!
Here we go!
The cover:
I actually really like it. Both of them look really cute smiling at each other in winter clothes and I like the snow in the background. Despite the fact that they look a little older than they should, I think this is among my favorite covers of the BSC series. The tagline isn’t Hodges fault, of course, so I won’t blame him for the supreme cheesiness that the BSC thought a thirteen-year-old couple who only recently started dating according to canon would be together FOR-E-VER. Which reminds me of this:
5ever>4evur
Chapter 1
We start with Mary Anne already being self-conscious and freaking out about what to wear. Any guess on where she’s going? A school dance, and outing with Logan? Nope- she’s freaking out about what to wear while baby-sitting Jenny Prezzioso. Even Dawn is logical enough to point out that there’s no reason to care, but Mary Anne wants to impress Mrs. P because she dressed her daughter and herself up all the time. I don’t really know why this is necessary. I can understand a good impression, but really? She then says that Mrs. P is “worse” because she’s preggers. GASP! But honestly, is Mrs. P so bad? She likes to dress up. Even if it’s weird, like the cocktail dress at a basketball fiasco in book #4, Mary Anne seems to have forgotten something: CLAUDIA has an eccentric fashion sense, too. And since Mrs. P doesn’t seem to be a bitch or anything, I wouldn’t care what she dressed like or worry about her opinion to such an extent. And I’d baby-sit Jenny any day over Karen Brewer. ANY DAY.
In an example of indiscreet plot revelation, Dawn shrieks, “I can’t believe that we know what the baby is going to be, but the rest of the BSC members don’t. They don’t even want to know, Mary Anne.” Mary Anne already knows this information and this piece of “dialogue” is supposed to be informative for us as readers; I’ll try not to snap out how awkward it would be if I went around talking like that to my friends. Instead I’ll snark! :D Let’s say my roommate’s boyfriend wasn’t coming over tonight and we both knew it well. It would be beyond awkward for me to be talking to her and carrying on, “He’s not even coming tonight, Nicole!” when she already knows.
Chapter 2 stuff in Chapter 1 again. Awww, man.
Here are some highlights:
• Mary Anne bets that she’s the shyest person in the whole school. Also, she and Logan haven’t been getting along lately.
• The infamous sailing accident comes up. Dawn and the others were stranded, yada yada. This one deserves its own bullet point for the sheer rage it invokes. First, Mary Anne says she was so worried about her friends, but THEN says that she couldn’t search for them because she has fair skin that burns easily. REALLY?! I thought you guys were joking about this shit. WTF was Ann thinking when she wrote this sentence? Did she really think we’d support MA and still think she was sweet and kind after a selfish sentence like this? Ever heard of sunscreen? Then it gets even worse when she says that she and Logan had a fight right before Dawn and the others got lost over something little and he couldn’t put it aside even when they were lost. Yeah, that’s douchey, but MA, you didn’t even help because you were more worried about your complexion! So don’t imply that Logan is the only selfish one. Ugh, Page 3 and I need a drink. “I learned that Logan and I can’t always trust each other. I learned that Logan can’t be counted on in a crisis.” NEITHER CAN YOU!
• MA talks about all these fights and Logan being pushy. For once I’m glad this is the BSC because I do NOT want to see a book in which Logan pressures MA for sex or anything like that. Yuck! Anyway, she goes on and on AND on about these fights they’ve had then says, “Sometimes I think I’m falling out of love with Logan, but I don’t think so.” Um, you just said sometimes you don’t and sometimes you do. “Not over a few tiffs and misunderstandings.” Especially the boat incident and the pushiness sound like more than minor problems, but sure, whatever you say, MA.
I think I got lucky picking books because Dawn is being nice in this one. Yay, cuz I don’t think I could handle any more WTFery than we’re going to get. Also, we all know that MA is not the little nice girl she pretends to be so the more Dawn does this, the more she’ll dodge bullets.
MA in her Little House glory. Suck it, Stacey!Dawn tells MA she looks nice and like a princess even though she’s in jeans and a sweater, then offers to find answer the phone so MA can “find her crown” aka finish getting ready. It’s not much, but Dawn is not being self-absorbed or ranting about meat. Hallelujah! The phone is for MA and Dawn leaves the room after handing over the receiver, a surefire sign it’s Logan Loverboy on the line! Logan hears that MA is going on a sitting job but asks if she’ll come to a movie instead. Really? She just said she has a commitment, man! His balls are lucky Kristy wasn’t there hearing this. When Mary Anne says she can’t, Logan childishly responds, “Aw, come on. You and I are a couple, Mary Anne.” So she’s supposed to drop plans for you at the drop of a hat? Do you use that to justify everything? SEE if this wasn’t BSC-land I could picture a sexual pressure thing going down. “Come on, we’re a couple.” MA obviously sounds reluctant and uncomfortable, but Logan then pressures her to get Dawn to sit instead. Double lucky Kristy’s not there- that’s not how the BSC works. You should know, ASSOCIATE MEMBER. MA says she can’t do that to Dawn and then Logan sounds confused and asks if she won’t come to the movies with him. Why is he confused? She just explained why she couldn’t come!
At the Prezziosos, Jenny behaves just fine. She shows MA the presents she got and sounds excited. THIS is the kid that gets called a brat when Karen Brewer is a jillion times worse? Do you mean to tell me that Karen’s not spoiled, too? Logan calls the house and MA tells him she’s busy. He gets annoyed. WTF.
Baby-sitting: I do not think it means what you think it means.
Jenny knows that she needs to be a big girl because of the baby and also knows her mom wants her to like the baby. MA notes that Jenny seems to know she’s being bribed. Ya think?! Jenny does everything MA requests and falls asleep having a story read to her. You just know Karen the babblemouth wouldn’t have shut up and we’d have fifteen pages of her being annoying if this was a job involving her.
After Jenny falls asleep, the phone rings. Guess who?
I have to say that I think it’s really, really weird to have Logan calling the Prezzioso’s house to talk to MA for no good reason. The guy’s sitting at home on a Friday night and instead of being normal and doing something else since he’s not seeing a movie, he picks up the phone book and decides to barrage MA with phone calls. I am a creeper magnet and I have to say this sounds like the beginning of a creeper in the making. Anyway, Logan is just checking and they talk for two seconds as MA testily says it’s fine at the job. He asks if Jenny’s asleep yet, which makes me fear that he’s standing with binoculars outside the window. Thankfully, this is 1991 and Logan Bruno does not have a cell phone. And good thing for MA because you just know he’s be texting her 24/7 and she’d be too nice to put her phone on silent or turn it off. Or too worried that if it’s off or silent she’ll miss big news. Or K Ron will have demanded baby-sitters to keep their phones on and noisy just in case. Anyway, this is the text conversation I picture between them if they had cell phones:
Logan: Sleeping yet, babe?
MA: I WAS.
Logan: Ok, just checking.
MA: (doesn’t reply back)
Logan: Babe, still there?
MA: You woke me up again!
Logan: So….wanna come over?
MA: Logan, I’m sleeping!
Logan: (waits a few minutes) So, want me to come over?
MA: STOP, Logan. I need my beauty sleep.
Logan: Fine…
Logan: Child and creeper all in one!
And so it would probably be. It may sound like I’m exaggerating since Logan has only called twice at this point, but oh ho ho au contraire. The guy simply DOESN’T LISTEN. Also, even when Jenny was asleep he had nothing to say except, “just checking.” Why is he doing this?
Logan restrains himself for twenty whole minutes before calling again. I don’t want to know what he was doing while waiting. MA answers the phone by saying his name because she’s aware of how creepy he is. He asks if Jenny’s still asleep. THIS IS CREEPY. Why call if you have nothing to say to MA? Just trying to make sure your girlfriend’s not cheating on you instead? Finally, he has something to say besides creepy checking. He asks MA for a date on an evening when she’s free. I find this weird. Why couldn’t he wait until she’s at home to ask or ask her when he sees her at school? This dialogue makes it sound like they’ve never dated before and he’s asking her out for the first time. Anyway, they make plans for the next night and Logan decides they’ll do movies and a pizza. MA wonders what happened to her say in the relationship. So, say something! Also, the way Logan asks her out is annoying. “There must be SOME night when you’re not baby-sitting.” As far as this chapter implies, this is the only recent time he’s wanted to go somewhere and she’s been baby-sitting. So she shoots him down once and he acts all butthurt? For crying out loud, go see the movie yourself. Do you not have friends to go with? I guess he’s too busy stalking MA. If they’d met when older, it would have been like this:
Logan in his twenties. Drinking and still dense. God help us all.
I just realized that I spent almost seven pages of a word doc on chapter one. Whoops!
I'll post the rest when I recover from the anxiety that LJ gave me for posting these pictures. I'd be rich if I got a paycheck each time it told me that the post was too large!