Karen's Worst Day chs. 1-6
Hi! I have been reading (and laughing along with) the posts in this community for a while, but this is my first time ever snarking. I thought that I would start with a Little Sister book. At the risk of dating myself, I was very young when the BSC books were popular, so I actually read most of the LS books before I ever delved into the regular BSC series. When I saw that this book has not yet been snarked, I practically jumped at the chance to do it. I think of all LS books, this one has irritated me the most.
I'm a little nervous, because I have never snarked (or recapped) anything before. Bear with me, I'm learning.
Book Cover
I do not remember how to copy photos on here, so you can see the cover art for this book here. Karen is standing by a tree in the backyard of the big house, and she looks like she just got smacked over the head with something. This book takes place pre-glasses, so her huge pink frames are nowhere in sight. She is also still wearing a cast from her roller-skating accident in the previous book. The only thing about this cover that really struck me is that Boo-Boo looks like he has a Hitler 'stache. I never noticed that until I re-read this book for this snark, and now that I see it, that is all that I see when I look at it. I am a bit freaked out. Hitler kitteh? Shudder. Okay, moving on. Let's talk about the chapters now.
Chapter 1
Karen opens this book by announcing that she broke her wrist two weeks ago in a roller-skating accident. Oh, I remember the days when people put a hyphen in "roller-skating." According to my friend who is a teacher, hyphens have all by disappeared from American English. (When did that happen?! I must be living under a rock. Or I am stuck in the 90s. You decide.) Anyway, so Karen felt the need to share this information, and then, she feels the need to confirm that she "had to go to the hospital and everything." No crap, Karen.
Karen then feels the need to share that the reason Watson took her to the hospital was because she and Andrew were at his house for the weekend. You know, since apparently we were all just scratching our heads and wondering why her father was the one to take her. Glad she cleared that one up for us! Now we can all get some sleep at night, Karen settled it.
Oh, wait, talking about her hospital trip was just a ploy for AMM to start launching into that infamous speech about Karen's two families and two houses and two of everything. Well, darn. I was about to vote for Watson Brewer to be Father of the Year.
Karen boo-hoos some more about her two families and breaking her wrist, which especially sucks because now, she cannot roller-skate. "Why did I have to fall and break my wrist anyway? I think that that was the beginning of my bad luck." Yes, Karen, "bad luck." We shall call it that. Never mind that you were attempting to do a trick when you broke your wrist. It is totally not your fault at all. Of course not. The chapter ends with Karen whining about how she could not sleep the night before this infamous "Worst Day" that she is about to spend the next 95 pages crying about. (Oh, goody.)
Chapter 2
Karen screams for Watson, who comes running into her room, inquiring if she is sick or fell out of bed. No, no... not yet, Watson-- that is in the next chapter. And you can bet your rich ass won't come tearing into your daughter's room then. Your stepchild will have to do it for you. But I digress.
Anyway, Karen reveals that there is nothing physically wrong with her, but that she cannot fall asleep. Karen dramatically tells her father that she has been awake "for hours and hours." He immediately points out that Kristy put her to bed just twenty minutes ago. Karen, who we all know is not one to be told that she is wrong, insists that she cannot sleep because the "witch next door" (Mrs. Porter/Morbidda Destiny) is "up to something." Karen then proceeds to remind us of her prejudice against lonely elderly women who wear black clothing and enjoy gardening. She bashes the herbs that MD plants. They apparently have strange names like "fennel" and "basil." Great Caesar's ghost, MD is a chef! Oh, and MD also has a black cat and a broom next to her front door. Huh. I guess I'm a witch, too.
Watson scolds Karen for talking smack about her herb-planting, black-wearing, cat-loving, broom-owning neighbor, and then he tells her to go sleep. When she finally does fall asleep, she has a dream that sounds like something straight out of a Lewis Carroll book. She is roller skating in her driveway, she goes up a random hill that appears out of nowhere, a rabbit that can talk comes and pushes her up the hill (and she thanks him as if this is a normal occurrence), and then the hill turns into a cliff and she falls to her death. Watson, I think that you need to take your daughter to see a psychologist.
Chapter 3
Karen assures us that her run-in with a rabbit who pushed her up a hill-turned-cliff was all just a dream, and that she has fallen out of bed. Kristy bursts into her room in her nightgown. (Kristy in a nightie. Ugh. I literally just shuddered at the imagery.) Apparently, Kristy had been awake and reading in her bed, and she heard Karen's screaming. Kristy comforts Karen, and suggests that she gets dressed. Let me point out that it is 8:15am on a Saturday. Apparently, at the Watson Manor, everyone is awake and dressed before 9am on the weekends.
Let me pause here for a second. AMM, have you honestly even been around teenagers on a Saturday morning? When I was Kristy's age, there was no way in hell I would be awake and dressed by 9am on a Saturday! Screw that! I had to be up every morning at 6am Monday through Friday; there was no way I was going to get out of bed early on Saturday! Even when I was forced to wake up early on Saturdays because I had a track meet or some school event I had to go to, my parents all but drag my 13 year-old ass out of bed. Also, even if I did not wake up early, I never changed out of my pajamas unless I absolutely had to get dressed. And from what I know, many other teenagers were the exact same way. Either AMM is pretty clueless about the sleeping and grooming habits of teenagers, or everyone in Stoneybrook is a morning person.
Anyway, so Karen decides to wear a red shirt and her new favorite jeans "with zippers on the sides." Lo and behold, though, she realizes that they are not in her knapsack. Oh, noes! Karen left her 80s jeans at her mother's house! Karen starts to pout, so Kristy attempts to avert this crisis by suggesting an outfit and saying she "has a surprise" for Karen.
Those words are creepy coming from Kristy.
After Karen "let Kristy help [her] into [her] clothes," Kristy jets out of the room, leaving her younger stepsister to make her bed one-handed. Kristy, you insensitive twit! Your little sister is sitting here with only one usable arm, and you just run off and force her to make the bed all by herself. You already helped the little brat into her clothes; you couldn't take twenty extra seconds to help her put her bed back together?! I mean, she did fall out of it and all! Ugh. Sorry. That part has always bothered me. My sister was once in a cast due to a broken wrist when we were kids. I remember how hard it was for her to make her bed with just one hand.And would have tried to walk off without helping my sister make her bed, my mother would have flipped her crap. But not Watson and Elizabeth, evidently. I guess you're SOL, Karen.
Kristy comes back to the room wearing the exact same outfit that Karen is wearing, citing that they are "twins." Oh, vomit. Just what we need: two Kristys/Karens. Kill me.
Chapter 4
Breakfast at the Watson Manor. Karen and David Michael have an argument over what a "twin" really is. Watson interjects and the discussion ends while David Michael is in mid-sentence trying to defend himself against his brat of a stepsister. Sorry, David Michael. Forget you, you're just a stepson. (Nice favoritism, Watson.) Karen loudly announces that she is starving and that the cure is Crunch-O Cereal... only to be shot down by her own little brother, who ate the last of the cereal and took the prize. And the prize was temporary tattoos. Karen practically goes to pieces over this. Elizabeth decides to play peacemaker, telling Karen that she has a new box of Crunch-O and that she can look for the prize.
WTF! So, let me get this straight. Karen pouts because she did not get press-on tattoos manufactured from a cereal company, and now Elizabeth is going to let her dump the whole box of brand-new cereal into a mixing bowl, just so that the little brat can get her way? Now that is some bullshit. If I would have whined because my sister got the prize from the cereal when I was Karen's age, my mother would have just said, "Tough. Now stop pouting or I will give you something to cry about." But oh no, not Princess Karen. God forbid someone else gets to be treated.
When Karen finally retrieves the prize package, she starts to open it, and then suddenly remembers that Elizabeth gave her special treatment. So she helps Elizabeth put the cereal back in the box. Er, I don't think I'd want to eat it now that she's touched it. No, thank you.
Karen cannot stand the suspense of waiting to open the package, so she takes one bite and then opens the package. Oh, noes! The package is empty! (Note: AMM feels the need to tell us this twice, first in the narration, then with Karen's dialogue. Just incase you didn't understand the first time.) She curses the Crunch-O people, calling them "mean, bad Crunch-O people." Yes, Karen. It was all just a conspiracy that the Crunch-O company decided to have against you, because they all just knew that you would eat that exact box of Crunch-O cereal on that exact morning. And they also just knew that you would be having a terrible day. Because everyone in the whole world has just decided to make your life miserable.
Andrew offers to share his tattoos with Karen, and she mutters an almost "Thank you" in return. Ungrateful brat.
Chapter 5
Karen decided to pout in the living room, and then apparently decided that it would be more productive to watch TV instead. She then remembered that Mr. Ed was going to be coming on. (Mr. Ed! Oh, how I love AMM's classic TV references. And that, I am actually saying with sincerity. Mr. Ed was the shit.) However, before she could turn on the TV, Andrew rudely came barreling into the living room and turned on cartoons. Karen was livid. She then said a sentence that literally makes my inner child burst into tears: "I hate cartoons." *sobs hysterically* Yeah, thanks a lot, Karen. I still to this day love cartoons. I am 26 and I still love all things animated. I am not ashamed! (Although she did admit to liking the Muppet Babies, so that made me feel a little better.)
She and Andrew verbally duke it out over the TV, and Watson decides to intervene. Watson first asks Andrew how long his TV show is, and Andrew has no idea. (Watson. Come on. The kid is four years old! In four year old time, there is only "before cartoons, during cartoons, and after cartoons.") After getting no help from his four year-old biological son, Watson consults the TV Guide. Oh, the 80s! The days before digital cable! He learns that Andrew's show is longer than Karen's, so he enacts a compromise: Karen watches her show, and Andrew can watch his show when she is finished.
Triumphant, Karen sticks her tongue out at her brother. Uh-oh, Karen, you better not do that, or you'll have bad karma!
Yup, I was right. When Karen switched to the channel that played Mr. Ed, she heard an announcer reveal that the show had been cancelled for the day to make room for a "special program." Karen loses it again, stating that even the people on TV were giving her bad luck. Geez, Karen, show some sensitivity. This "special program" was probably about those poor abused Crunch-O employees who are forced to work long hours in the factories to produce cereal for little brats like you to waste.
Karen begrudgingly gives Andrew back the TV.
Andrew: +2.
Karen: 0.
Chapter 6
Revealing the time period of this book, Karen actually goes outside to play. (Oh, my gosh! A child is going out to play! No internet to play on all day!) After watching some critters go about their business on the front lawn, she decides that maybe playing with the pets will cheer her up. She rushes back inside and finds Shannon and Boo-Boo napping together. Being the selfish jerk that she is, Karen wakes Shannon up and makes her go outside to play. She then forced that poor puppy to chase her around and play fetch. Poor dog. She was probably having a nice dream before that irritating little blonde girl who shows up every other weekend came along and ruined it.
After a few minutes, though, Shannon gets bored of the fetch game and walks off, sniffing the yard. Karen is offended. Karen, sweetie... Shannon is a dog. She is probably trying to find a place to urinate. Chill. Just then, David Michael came outside and called for Shannon, who immediately runs to him. This makes Karen cry.
Ha. The score is now:
Andrew: +2.
David Michael: +1.
Karen: 0.
Karen then got the brilliant idea to go wake the cat up and force him to play. Oh, brilliant move, Karen! The cat can't stand you, yet you think he's going to play with you when he'd clearly rather sleep? Oh, come on.
She picks him up, and he responds by hissing at her. But Karen isn't giving up; she takes Boo-Boo outside and orders him to play with her. Boo-Boo completely ignores her, looks next door at MD in her garden, and scampers up the tree. He hisses at her. David Michael laughs. Karen has no sense of humor about this.
The final score of this snark:
Andrew: +2.
David Michael: +1.
Boo-Boo: +1.
Karen: 0.
I am going to stop there, for I have to work at 8am. I hope that you all enjoyed my snark, especially since this was my very first time. I will try to finish the rest as soon as I can. Stay tuned for the next installment of Karen's Worst Day and the "let's see how many times AMM can reference Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day." Good night, snarkers. Thanks for playing along!
I'm a little nervous, because I have never snarked (or recapped) anything before. Bear with me, I'm learning.
Book Cover
I do not remember how to copy photos on here, so you can see the cover art for this book here. Karen is standing by a tree in the backyard of the big house, and she looks like she just got smacked over the head with something. This book takes place pre-glasses, so her huge pink frames are nowhere in sight. She is also still wearing a cast from her roller-skating accident in the previous book. The only thing about this cover that really struck me is that Boo-Boo looks like he has a Hitler 'stache. I never noticed that until I re-read this book for this snark, and now that I see it, that is all that I see when I look at it. I am a bit freaked out. Hitler kitteh? Shudder. Okay, moving on. Let's talk about the chapters now.
Chapter 1
Karen opens this book by announcing that she broke her wrist two weeks ago in a roller-skating accident. Oh, I remember the days when people put a hyphen in "roller-skating." According to my friend who is a teacher, hyphens have all by disappeared from American English. (When did that happen?! I must be living under a rock. Or I am stuck in the 90s. You decide.) Anyway, so Karen felt the need to share this information, and then, she feels the need to confirm that she "had to go to the hospital and everything." No crap, Karen.
Karen then feels the need to share that the reason Watson took her to the hospital was because she and Andrew were at his house for the weekend. You know, since apparently we were all just scratching our heads and wondering why her father was the one to take her. Glad she cleared that one up for us! Now we can all get some sleep at night, Karen settled it.
Oh, wait, talking about her hospital trip was just a ploy for AMM to start launching into that infamous speech about Karen's two families and two houses and two of everything. Well, darn. I was about to vote for Watson Brewer to be Father of the Year.
Karen boo-hoos some more about her two families and breaking her wrist, which especially sucks because now, she cannot roller-skate. "Why did I have to fall and break my wrist anyway? I think that that was the beginning of my bad luck." Yes, Karen, "bad luck." We shall call it that. Never mind that you were attempting to do a trick when you broke your wrist. It is totally not your fault at all. Of course not. The chapter ends with Karen whining about how she could not sleep the night before this infamous "Worst Day" that she is about to spend the next 95 pages crying about. (Oh, goody.)
Chapter 2
Karen screams for Watson, who comes running into her room, inquiring if she is sick or fell out of bed. No, no... not yet, Watson-- that is in the next chapter. And you can bet your rich ass won't come tearing into your daughter's room then. Your stepchild will have to do it for you. But I digress.
Anyway, Karen reveals that there is nothing physically wrong with her, but that she cannot fall asleep. Karen dramatically tells her father that she has been awake "for hours and hours." He immediately points out that Kristy put her to bed just twenty minutes ago. Karen, who we all know is not one to be told that she is wrong, insists that she cannot sleep because the "witch next door" (Mrs. Porter/Morbidda Destiny) is "up to something." Karen then proceeds to remind us of her prejudice against lonely elderly women who wear black clothing and enjoy gardening. She bashes the herbs that MD plants. They apparently have strange names like "fennel" and "basil." Great Caesar's ghost, MD is a chef! Oh, and MD also has a black cat and a broom next to her front door. Huh. I guess I'm a witch, too.
Watson scolds Karen for talking smack about her herb-planting, black-wearing, cat-loving, broom-owning neighbor, and then he tells her to go sleep. When she finally does fall asleep, she has a dream that sounds like something straight out of a Lewis Carroll book. She is roller skating in her driveway, she goes up a random hill that appears out of nowhere, a rabbit that can talk comes and pushes her up the hill (and she thanks him as if this is a normal occurrence), and then the hill turns into a cliff and she falls to her death. Watson, I think that you need to take your daughter to see a psychologist.
Chapter 3
Karen assures us that her run-in with a rabbit who pushed her up a hill-turned-cliff was all just a dream, and that she has fallen out of bed. Kristy bursts into her room in her nightgown. (Kristy in a nightie. Ugh. I literally just shuddered at the imagery.) Apparently, Kristy had been awake and reading in her bed, and she heard Karen's screaming. Kristy comforts Karen, and suggests that she gets dressed. Let me point out that it is 8:15am on a Saturday. Apparently, at the Watson Manor, everyone is awake and dressed before 9am on the weekends.
Let me pause here for a second. AMM, have you honestly even been around teenagers on a Saturday morning? When I was Kristy's age, there was no way in hell I would be awake and dressed by 9am on a Saturday! Screw that! I had to be up every morning at 6am Monday through Friday; there was no way I was going to get out of bed early on Saturday! Even when I was forced to wake up early on Saturdays because I had a track meet or some school event I had to go to, my parents all but drag my 13 year-old ass out of bed. Also, even if I did not wake up early, I never changed out of my pajamas unless I absolutely had to get dressed. And from what I know, many other teenagers were the exact same way. Either AMM is pretty clueless about the sleeping and grooming habits of teenagers, or everyone in Stoneybrook is a morning person.
Anyway, so Karen decides to wear a red shirt and her new favorite jeans "with zippers on the sides." Lo and behold, though, she realizes that they are not in her knapsack. Oh, noes! Karen left her 80s jeans at her mother's house! Karen starts to pout, so Kristy attempts to avert this crisis by suggesting an outfit and saying she "has a surprise" for Karen.
Those words are creepy coming from Kristy.
After Karen "let Kristy help [her] into [her] clothes," Kristy jets out of the room, leaving her younger stepsister to make her bed one-handed. Kristy, you insensitive twit! Your little sister is sitting here with only one usable arm, and you just run off and force her to make the bed all by herself. You already helped the little brat into her clothes; you couldn't take twenty extra seconds to help her put her bed back together?! I mean, she did fall out of it and all! Ugh. Sorry. That part has always bothered me. My sister was once in a cast due to a broken wrist when we were kids. I remember how hard it was for her to make her bed with just one hand.And would have tried to walk off without helping my sister make her bed, my mother would have flipped her crap. But not Watson and Elizabeth, evidently. I guess you're SOL, Karen.
Kristy comes back to the room wearing the exact same outfit that Karen is wearing, citing that they are "twins." Oh, vomit. Just what we need: two Kristys/Karens. Kill me.
Chapter 4
Breakfast at the Watson Manor. Karen and David Michael have an argument over what a "twin" really is. Watson interjects and the discussion ends while David Michael is in mid-sentence trying to defend himself against his brat of a stepsister. Sorry, David Michael. Forget you, you're just a stepson. (Nice favoritism, Watson.) Karen loudly announces that she is starving and that the cure is Crunch-O Cereal... only to be shot down by her own little brother, who ate the last of the cereal and took the prize. And the prize was temporary tattoos. Karen practically goes to pieces over this. Elizabeth decides to play peacemaker, telling Karen that she has a new box of Crunch-O and that she can look for the prize.
WTF! So, let me get this straight. Karen pouts because she did not get press-on tattoos manufactured from a cereal company, and now Elizabeth is going to let her dump the whole box of brand-new cereal into a mixing bowl, just so that the little brat can get her way? Now that is some bullshit. If I would have whined because my sister got the prize from the cereal when I was Karen's age, my mother would have just said, "Tough. Now stop pouting or I will give you something to cry about." But oh no, not Princess Karen. God forbid someone else gets to be treated.
When Karen finally retrieves the prize package, she starts to open it, and then suddenly remembers that Elizabeth gave her special treatment. So she helps Elizabeth put the cereal back in the box. Er, I don't think I'd want to eat it now that she's touched it. No, thank you.
Karen cannot stand the suspense of waiting to open the package, so she takes one bite and then opens the package. Oh, noes! The package is empty! (Note: AMM feels the need to tell us this twice, first in the narration, then with Karen's dialogue. Just incase you didn't understand the first time.) She curses the Crunch-O people, calling them "mean, bad Crunch-O people." Yes, Karen. It was all just a conspiracy that the Crunch-O company decided to have against you, because they all just knew that you would eat that exact box of Crunch-O cereal on that exact morning. And they also just knew that you would be having a terrible day. Because everyone in the whole world has just decided to make your life miserable.
Andrew offers to share his tattoos with Karen, and she mutters an almost "Thank you" in return. Ungrateful brat.
Chapter 5
Karen decided to pout in the living room, and then apparently decided that it would be more productive to watch TV instead. She then remembered that Mr. Ed was going to be coming on. (Mr. Ed! Oh, how I love AMM's classic TV references. And that, I am actually saying with sincerity. Mr. Ed was the shit.) However, before she could turn on the TV, Andrew rudely came barreling into the living room and turned on cartoons. Karen was livid. She then said a sentence that literally makes my inner child burst into tears: "I hate cartoons." *sobs hysterically* Yeah, thanks a lot, Karen. I still to this day love cartoons. I am 26 and I still love all things animated. I am not ashamed! (Although she did admit to liking the Muppet Babies, so that made me feel a little better.)
She and Andrew verbally duke it out over the TV, and Watson decides to intervene. Watson first asks Andrew how long his TV show is, and Andrew has no idea. (Watson. Come on. The kid is four years old! In four year old time, there is only "before cartoons, during cartoons, and after cartoons.") After getting no help from his four year-old biological son, Watson consults the TV Guide. Oh, the 80s! The days before digital cable! He learns that Andrew's show is longer than Karen's, so he enacts a compromise: Karen watches her show, and Andrew can watch his show when she is finished.
Triumphant, Karen sticks her tongue out at her brother. Uh-oh, Karen, you better not do that, or you'll have bad karma!
Yup, I was right. When Karen switched to the channel that played Mr. Ed, she heard an announcer reveal that the show had been cancelled for the day to make room for a "special program." Karen loses it again, stating that even the people on TV were giving her bad luck. Geez, Karen, show some sensitivity. This "special program" was probably about those poor abused Crunch-O employees who are forced to work long hours in the factories to produce cereal for little brats like you to waste.
Karen begrudgingly gives Andrew back the TV.
Andrew: +2.
Karen: 0.
Chapter 6
Revealing the time period of this book, Karen actually goes outside to play. (Oh, my gosh! A child is going out to play! No internet to play on all day!) After watching some critters go about their business on the front lawn, she decides that maybe playing with the pets will cheer her up. She rushes back inside and finds Shannon and Boo-Boo napping together. Being the selfish jerk that she is, Karen wakes Shannon up and makes her go outside to play. She then forced that poor puppy to chase her around and play fetch. Poor dog. She was probably having a nice dream before that irritating little blonde girl who shows up every other weekend came along and ruined it.
After a few minutes, though, Shannon gets bored of the fetch game and walks off, sniffing the yard. Karen is offended. Karen, sweetie... Shannon is a dog. She is probably trying to find a place to urinate. Chill. Just then, David Michael came outside and called for Shannon, who immediately runs to him. This makes Karen cry.
Ha. The score is now:
Andrew: +2.
David Michael: +1.
Karen: 0.
Karen then got the brilliant idea to go wake the cat up and force him to play. Oh, brilliant move, Karen! The cat can't stand you, yet you think he's going to play with you when he'd clearly rather sleep? Oh, come on.
She picks him up, and he responds by hissing at her. But Karen isn't giving up; she takes Boo-Boo outside and orders him to play with her. Boo-Boo completely ignores her, looks next door at MD in her garden, and scampers up the tree. He hisses at her. David Michael laughs. Karen has no sense of humor about this.
The final score of this snark:
Andrew: +2.
David Michael: +1.
Boo-Boo: +1.
Karen: 0.
I am going to stop there, for I have to work at 8am. I hope that you all enjoyed my snark, especially since this was my very first time. I will try to finish the rest as soon as I can. Stay tuned for the next installment of Karen's Worst Day and the "let's see how many times AMM can reference Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day." Good night, snarkers. Thanks for playing along!