#127: Abby's Un-Valentine
I'm back with BSC #127: Abby's Un-Valentine. I haven't read a lot of the Abby books, since I'd mostly gotten out of the BSC by the time she came around, but I remember liking her. Also, I found that this book sounded kind of interesting, as it was bout a 13-year-old who actually wasn't interested in dating. I'm both doubtful and amazed that someone like this exists in the BSC-verse.
The covers show Abby in an outift that I actually kind of like on her. Her face is all scrunched up, though. The tagline reads, "Valentine's Day? Abby's heart just isn't in it..." Also, you'll notice that since this is the first book after Mallory left, she is no longer present in the pictures on the side, which now feature only Kristy, Mary Anne, Claudia, Stacey, Abby and Jessi.
Ghostwriter was Nola Thacker.
Chapter One
Abby begins with something I've always agreed with, which is that if everyone makes such a huge deal out of Valentine's Day, then it should be an actual holiday. This is Abby's first Valentine's Day at SMS, and she was hoping that the school wouldn't go crazy. Not in BSC world! There's a Valentine's Day Dance (this school must have a dance every month, considering the January Jamboree just passed), the school has been decorated in pink, white and red, and Dolly One (continuity, I'm shocked) gives a little lesson on Saint Valentine.
Abby decides to keep her scrooge-like feelings to herself, remember past Valentine's Days that didn't turn out so well. Like the time she decided not to give out Valentine's cards and then found out a ton of her friends had given them to her. Fail, Abby. Or when she was just a kid and ate a whole box of chocolates that she and Anna had bought for their parents. Her mom and dad just thought it was funny, but apparently Anna was really mad. This actually sounds like proper behaviour for a little kid, so we're off to a good start here.
She goes on to say that's not interested in having a boyfriend, even though some members of the BSC are dating "genuinely nice, mature guys". So... guys who have drunk the BSC Kool-Aid? Abby is going to wait for the guys to grow up a little. How about you wait for yourself to grow up a little? It really annoys me that these girls are 13 and 11 years old with boyfriends.
Did you know Abby is allergic to life? I sure didn't. We meet Ross Brown, who I'm pretty sure has already dated at least Stacey, if not someone else in the BSC. Not only is he making his way through the ranks, do you really want Stacey's sloppy seconds, Abby? Claudia and Stacey come by (clearly Stacey's radar went off, letting her know that an ex-boyfriend was defecting) and they decide to head over to Claudia's to work on homework before the BSC meeting. Abby drops by to tell Anna about her plans, and we get a description of how the two of them are different that is totally making me remember reading about the Wakefield twins. Alas, Abby and Anna are not "perfect size-size figures, with golden blonde hair and eyes the color of California ocean". Nor do they wear matching gold lavalieres. Why do I know these things?!
Chapter Two
Ah, chapter two, the bane of every BSC reader's existence. Let's see if anything's worthy of mentioning. Hmm... Mary Anne got asked out to the dance by Logan. Jessi and Shannon arrive and Kristy "looked disappointed. She enjoys those occasions when she can exercise her authority". Uh-huh, K-Ron. Blah blah... background we get every book... Shannon and Logan are taking turns attending meetings in Mallory's place, I guess. I thought they were both too busy for that? Stacey asked Ethan to come to the dance. Josh and Claudia are going. Jessi isn't going with anyone. Kristy gets annoyed when Claudia asks who she is going with, because she broke up with Bart not too long ago (I believe that was in #95 Kristy + Bart = ?).
Claudia and Stacey begin teasing Abby about Ross Brown. Mary Anne suggests Abby ask Ross to the dance, but Abby says she doesn't want to. Kristy changes the subject and introduces the side plot, which is that a dog the Thomas-Brewer family has been fostering is just about eady to leave. Karen, David Michael, Andrew and Emily are having trouble with this. Great, a Karen subplot.
Chapter Three
Abby is annoyed by all of the PDAs. I can understand because I get annoyed by them, too, and it's not because I'm single. It's just annoying. They start studying romantic sonnets in English, particularly a Shakesperian sonnet. All of the girls are getting super romantic until Abby puts the lid on it, and Ross steps up to support her. Abby's kind of oblivious in this book, I think. Ross couldn't be more obvious if there was a flashing red sign saying "ROSS LIKES YOU. YOU, ABBY." He chats about the dance with her and offers to walk her to class. Flashing lights, Abby.
Chapter Four
Abby arrives home to Anna's violin practice and they decide to have a snack together. Nola Thacker slaps us in the face with how omg!different the twins are, especially when they start talking about the dance and Anna admits that she would like to go to the dance. Abby tells her to go with some friends, and it occurs to me not only is Abby oblivious, she's also extremely dense, because she can't seem to catch on to the fact that Anna wants to go with a DATE. Anna doesn't come right out and say it, though, and she's smart for that because Abby was getting upset just thinking about it. Abby seems to think that Anna doesn't want to go with friends because "she wasn't comfortable with the idea". No, Abby, you're just worse at reading between the lines than Kristy, and that's saying something.
The next morning, Abby gets to school and says that the whole Valentine's thing isn't annoying her as much. She notices Mary Anne and Logan chatting at Logan's locker, looking like "good friends and a good couple". Claudia has gotten a present from Josh than involved re-decorating her locker. Listen to this: "He'd bought a box of those valentines that little kids give one another and had strung them together on red ribbon to loop back and forth across the front of Claud's locker. In between, he'd hung individually wrapped valentine candies: Hershey's Kisses, Reese's peanut butter cups, and I don't know what else." Okay, what twelve-year-old boy would actually do this? Josh needs to stop hanging around with Logan before he develops that extra X chromosome.
Abby thinks that Claudia and Josh might be true love ( just wait until the next book, Abby) and goes on to lunch, where Stacey starts gossiping about how Ethan wrote her a super romantic e-mail. When Abby asks to see it, Stacey blushes and stutters that she can't. Just what exactly is IN that e-mail, Stace? Has the BSC moved on to the cyber-sex stage?
Back in english class with more sonnets. Abby is kind of being a pest when it comes to the poetry. She's taking on Kristy qualities, I think, in that she can't seem to let the whole "love" concept go by without challenging her teacher. Again, Ross steps up to support her and walks her out into the hall, where he asks Abby to the Valentine's Day Dance. Abby is incredulous and then, rudely, just says "No." Way to let him down gently! Abby backsteps and says that she's just "not that kind of person". Hmm. Then she basically runs away.
Chapter Five
Another one of those third-person chapters. This time it's Mary Anne who is baby-sitting Karen, Andrew and David Michael (Emily Michelle is with Nannie, who is basically that kid's mother). Mary Anne was looking forward to seeing Andrew because he had been spending several months in Chicago with Lisa and Seth (I'm pretty sure this was in an LS book as well, so points of continuity). Mary Anne gets to the house and sees Nannie and Emily off, then gets swarmed by David Michael and Karen.
Apparently, the B-T family got another cat (I must have missed that book) named Pumpkin. Karen says that Pumpkin likes her the best, and boy, this cat must be a glutton for punishment if that's really true. Andrew brings in treats for the cats and dogs and tries to give one to Scout. Scout isn't supposed to have treats because she's training to be a guide dog, and shouldn't learn to except treats for good behaviour. Mary Anne realizes that Andrew is having the most trouble with Scout's departure, and DUH. To me it seems obvious that a house with younger children is not a good place to foster a puppy. Of course the kids are going to get attached! Of course, it takes Mary Anne's "keen instincts of a seasoned baby-sitter" to realize this. Give me a break.
Mary Anne distracts the kids by saying she brought them something special. Don't you know you should never say that around Karen? They decide to go on an "expedition" and everyone gets dressed. Andrew doesn't want to put Scout's "guide dog in training" vest on. Karen is a "stickler for the rules" and bossily says Scout has to wear it. This isn't even an LS book and Karen is annoying me. It gets worse when Karen starts bitching about Morbidda Destiny. How that poor woman hasn't smothered Karen in her sleep, we'll never know.
They finish collecting pinecones and return to the house. Mary Anne puts the kids to work tying yarn on top of the pinecones, then begins melting beef suet over the stove. She adds in peanut butter. Mary Anne dips a pincone in and then tells Karen to roll it on the birdseed. The kids are enthusiastic (admittedly, this does sound neat) and are excited about putting the bird feeders on the tree. Then they just stand there and watch the birds until Nannie returns home. That doesn't sound so fun, but different strokes and all.
Chapter Six
They're sitll discussing this side plot, except at a BSC meeting. Because everything has to be about divorce, Stacey says that it's not easy going back and forth between parents. Jessi says, "Maybe Andrew feels like Scout. You know, Scout leaves. Andrew leaves. Maybe he's worried that if Scout can go away and not come back, it could happen to him, too." FFS can it not just be about a four-year-old not wanting to give up a dog? We don't need a deep-seated reason every damn time. Intelligent Abby points out that Andrew probably wants a dog of his own, but Kristy says Watson and Elizabeth aren't ready for a dog. I guess Lisa and Seth just don't exist anymore.
For some reason, Abby introduces her most hated topic and tells the others that Ross Brown asked her out. Claudia and Stacey can't believe that she said no. Kristy is getting so pissed that Stacey and Claudia are pushing Ross on Abby that I'm starting to think Kristy wants to escort Abby to the dance herself. Abby says she would have turned anyone down, and Mary Anne points out that anyone would be hurt if turned down the way Abby did. Thank you, Mary Anne. For once your extreme sensitivity is helpful. Abby gets defensive and says she doesn't want to lie or make excuses. That's fine, Abby, but you didn't have to cruel about it, either.
After the meeting, Abby goes home, where Anna says she has big news and reveals that Ross Brown is going to ask Abby to the VD Dance. Anna can't believe that Abby said no. Abby starts getting mad and eventually storms upstairs, wishing that Ross would find someone else. I can kind of sympathize with her, because I'm single and have no interest in ever having a partner, so I know that this kind of crap does get annoying. But having said that, Abby's not exactly handling the situation well.
Chapter Seven
Abby wakes up and decides that she wants to go over to Kristy's house. She says that even though she and Kristy ride the bus together, coach the Krushers together, and both like sports, they're not that close because Kristy is so bossy. That surprises me, because I always pictured Abby and Kristy as being pretty close, because they compliment each other well. Kristy reigns Abby in, but Abby knows how to make Kristy lighten up a little. And now I'm making them sound like a couple. Moving on.
Abby does just that and finds Andrew in a bad mood because Watson was walking Scout, which Andrew wanted to do instead. Kristy mothers Watson a little before they go in for breakfast. Andrew wants to feed Scout and says he can feed his dog any time he wants. Elizabeth finally sits Andrew down and explains that Scout belong to the Guide Dog Foundation, and so she has to leave. FINALLY, Andrew says that David Michael has Shannon and Karen has a kitten. He wants a dog, but Elizabeth and Watson say that they have too many animals already. Oh my god, I am with you, Andrew. For most of my life, my brother had a cat, my sister had two cats, my mom had two dogs, my dad had a dog, and I couldn't get a cat because we had too many animals already. The jealousy of knowing that everyone else has something to love runs deep, let me tell you.
Abby's allergies are strange. She only seems to sneeze around animals, but if their fur affects her, wouldn't she have a hard time just being in the house? Anyway, Kristy and Abby discuss the VD dance. Abby bitches about how everyone is pushing Ross on her. Kristy says that other people just want her to be happy, the explains to Abby that she started going out with Bart because everyone else wanted her to, and that it ruined the friendship with Bart. SHe cautions Abby not to cave to peer pressure, which is ironic, because Kristy is the leader of the BSC Cult. But I guess Abby has already succumed so it's okay.
Chapters 8-15 will be up tomorrow.