#127: Abby's Un-Valentine Chapters 8-15
I meant to finish this snark off yesterday, but the power went out for five hours and by the time it came back on I'd given up. It was actually nice to spend a day in the real world! Having said that, let's dive back in...
Chapter Eight
Abby gets up with the intention of going for a run, but it's snowing so hard she decides against it and goes back to bed. I can't help but think that Kristy would have been out there anyway, screaming "Nature doesn't rule me. I rule nature!" but anyway... The second time she gets up, she settles down to do some homework. Anna comes up and says someone is here to see her. Thinking it's Kristy, Abby steps outside in old sweats, ratty slippers, and hair that hasn't been brushed, only to see Ross Brown there with pink roses. Abby is totally calm about this, and I have to call BS in a way... I don't even like being seen by my family dressed like that, much less a boy I would go to school with. Furthermore, Anna clearly has a crush on Ross. She "looked positively animated all of a sudden" (remember those flashing red lights we talked about, Abby?). I find it hilarious that she intentionally didn't tell Abby that Ross was the visitor. Subtle sabotage? Anna you'd fit right in at the BSC.
Anna takes the roses (which Abby is allergic to) and Abby gets her on bitch on. Seriously, Abby! She's all "who had invited him?" and "I didn't want to encourage him". Again, there's a huge difference between not encouraging someone and being needlessly rude/cruel. Every time Ross tries to make conversation she cuts him off. When she thanks him for the roses, she says, "Thanks for the roses. They're very... pink." Really? Really? Pink? That's the best you can come up with? Abby's just being mean. She "more or less [herds] him out the door" and feels guilty when Ross waves at her. Then she decides she doesn't need to feel guilty because she's only guilty of "not wanting to date someone who wanted to date me". I facepalm. Even Kristy's better than this. Anna returns with the roses and Abby tells her to keep them in her room. Anna comments on how sweet it was of Ross (at least someone appreciates him) and Abby coldly says that they make her sneeze. Boy's not a mindreader, Abby. Abby goes into her room and starts trying to think about how to get Ross to stay away.
The next morning, Abby goes to school and sees a red carnation in front of her locker. She says it makes her locker look like a tombstone. I wonder if Abby's got a romantic bone... hell, a romantic notion in her body. Ross has also written her a poem:
Although she cannot the sound of music hear,
Her name is music unto mine ear.
And if roses make her sneeze,
Perhaps this carnation will then please.
For Abby and the flowers are one,
But she's the fairest flower under the sun.
He's no Shakespeare, but for a teenage boy to write something like that... well, you know. Abby is embarrassed by both the flower and the poem and shoves them into her locker before heading to English class. Every time Ross smiles at her, she rolls her eyes. Bitch, Abby. Stop turning into Dawn. Abby reads Shakespeare's Sonnet 130 (I'm not typing it out, go look it up) hoping to trip her teacher up. She's an English teacher, Abby, I assure you she's well versed in Shakespeare. Ross says the poem is about "true love", Abby says it's about "reality". Technically, I think they're both right, but not in the way Abby means. She sulks for the rest of class and as she's walking out, decides that Ross and Anna would be perfect for each other. It's Operation "Make my stalker love my twin instead". Does Abby read SVH?
Chapter Nine
Claudia is baby-sitting for the Thomas-Brewers because Kristy has a dentist appointment and Nannie is cooking for her catering business (I remember the LS book about this). Wanting to be pepared, Claudia brings along a book about guide dogs. Karen and David Michael want to make catnip mice for Pumpkin and Tigger. This actually sounds kind of like fun, though it also sounds complicated for kids, since they have to sew the two sides of the mice together. I have a hard time believing David Michael is interested in this.
Claudia goes to find Andrew and finds him packing a suitcase, getting ready to run away from home with Scout. Claudia explains that when Scout goes to school, she'll graduate and become the partner of someone who really needs her. Andrew says that when Scout is gone, he won't have a pet of his own. I feel so bad for the poor kid. Claudia can't think of anything to say to that, because really, what would you say? It's a painful situation to be in. She finally offers to read the book about guide dogs to him and he accepts.
Chapter Ten
At the BSC meeting, Stacey says that it's nice that Ross sent Abby the roses and carnation. Abby gets bitchy about how the roses made her sneeze and Ross doesn't understand the word no. Kristy understands and says now Ross will lose a friend and a dance date. Stacey asks if Abby liked the book of New Yorker cartoons that Ross left her and admits that Ross asked Stacey what Abby would like. Abby freaks out on Stacey for giving Ross advice when Stacey knows that Abby isn't interested. Claudia jumps in and says that she think Abby is just overwhelmed since she's never had a boyfriend before, which brings out Abby's bitchiness even more. Abby says, "A, don't patronize me. B, I've had a boyfriend, just not in Stoneybrook. I've had plenty of them... And C, I would never, ever, ever go out with someone just for the sake of going out with someone. I'll never be that desperate and dishonest."
Burn, Abby! On the one hand, I do think this applies to some members of the BSC, like Stacey. Stacey is totally the kind of girl who will always want what she can't have, and the concept of not having a boyfriend doesn't seem to have occurred to her. However, on the other hand, it's really bitchy to imply that about one of your friends. I don't like Abby in this book. She's not very nice. Claudia and Stacey get upset at the implication and Abby says "if the shoe fits".
Jessi breaks things up by changing the subject to Andrew. Then the meeting breaks up. As Abby and Kristy walk to the car and Abby notes that she probably made Mary Anne, Claudia, and Stacey upset. Well yeah, Abby, you basically implied they're sluts. Kristy suggests that maybe everyone needs some space. In the car, Abby asks Charlie for advice. Charlie tells her to sit Ross down and explain to him that no matter what he does, Abby isn't going to go out with him. He also says that she should return any other gifts that Ross gives her. For once, Charlie isn't just a chauffer, he actually helps! At home, Anna tries to confront Abby about Ross, and Abby suggests that Anna go to the dance with Ross. When Anna says that Ross likes Abby, Abby gets a Great Idea.
Chapter Eleven
Abby decides to make Ross and Anna spend time together so that Ross will see Anna is his perfect match. She tells Ross to come over to her house so that they can talk. Ross is all excited. Abby flags down Kristy and tells Kristy to call ten minutes after Ross will arrive with an emergency. Then she moves on to Anna (um, shouldn't she have gotten Anna to agree first? What if Anna says no?), who thinks that she's crazy, but finally agrees. Abby congratulates herself on being right about Anna liking Ross, because Anna is visibly nervous as it draws closer to Ross's arrival. She ends up lending Anna her favorite shirt.
Ross arrives and thinks that Anna is Abby because of the shirt. Instead of telling him, Abby runs to the phone and calls Kristy. Kristy finds the situation hilarious and tells Abby to join them and "see how it goes". Why don't you just tell Ross the truth? Is that just too hard or what? Anna hasn't told him, either, and it seems like she wants to continue the charade. Ms. Stevenson arrives home and the girls panic because apparently Ms. S can tell them apart. Mrs. S blows their cover by calling Abby by her name.
Chapter Twelve
Ross is angry (I guess he thinks that the twins were trying to make a fool of him? It's not really explained) and leaves quickly. Anna is mad at Abby for ruining her chances with Ross. Abby points out that Anna is the one who had ample opportunity to tell Ross. Anna says she couldn't tell him because Ross would think they did it on purpose and then hate her forever... which is exactly what happened, so it wasn't like they had much to lose. Now Ross also thinks that they're liars, instead of being honest. Abby promises to make it right as Anna storms away. She contemplates talking to her mother but decides against it. Yes, because that would break the BSC cardinal rule: screw adults, thou shalt handle everything thouself.
Abby arrives at school and is relieved that no one asks her about the twin switch. Did you really think that Ross was going to tell everyone, considering how humiliated he must be? She tracks down Ross and tries to speak to him, but he walks right by her. Abby is shocked and ends up avoiding all of her friends at lunch. She's too nervous to go to the BSC meeting alone, so she makes sure to catch a ride with Kristy. The girls start talking about the weather and Mary Anne inadvertently mentions the dance, which causes everyone to fall silent. Abby feels uncomfortable and awkward, because she knows this is her fault (duh).
So she apologizes for what she said at the last meeting. Mary Anne apologizes for making Abby feel that having a date was so important. Amazingly, she doesn't cry. Stacey and Claudia apologize for pressuring Abby about Ross. Once everyone is back on track, Mary Anne, Stacey, Claudia and Jessi start gossiping about clothing while Kristy and Abby make faces at each other. Are we sure this is a BSC meeting? Is K-Ron sick?
Chapter Thirteen
Abby returns home to find not everything is okay with Anna, who tried to apologize to Ross only to be ignored. Unlike most Stoneybrook parents (must be because she's from out of town?) Ms. S notices something is wrong and wants to know what's up. Anna starts telling her about Ross, forcing Abby to fess the whole story up. Ms. S doesn't have any advice, but says that it might take time for Ross to recover. Anna contemplates sending Ross a note and Abby advises her not to in case it fell into the wrong hands. She doesn't want her bitchy behaviour spread all over SMS.
The twins decide to go to Ross's house and make him listen. Abby barges into his house, dragging Anna along, and says that they came to talk. Abby starts by apologizing to both of them and (finally!) explains to Ross that when she said she didn't want a boyfriend, she was serious, and that she shouldn't have acted like it was a joke. Ross apologizes for not listening to her better. Abby explains about the twin swap mistake. Ross realizes that it was Anna talking to him and that they like the same things. Ross asks Anna out on a date, not to the dance, but to go hear a string quartet. Everyone's happy.
Chapter Fourteen
The day for Scout's departure has arrived. Kristy gets up and finds Karen and David Michael giving Scout a bath so that she'll perfect when she goes to school, because "it's not easy being the new kid". Why can't Karen be more like this in the LS books? She's annoying sometimes, but she also seems like a sweet kid. Andrew barges in and demands to know what they're doing to "his dog". Kristy stops Karen from fighting with Andrew by suggesting that they give Shannon a bath as well. Kristy tries to eat breakfast but gets upset, so instead she decides to go and see how Andrew is doing.
Andrew has locked his door, but Kristy manages to get inside. Kristy pretends that she's a blind person who is adopting Scout who is going to treat the dog wonderfully and give her an excellent home. Then it's time for Scout to leave. They all go downstairs and Andrew is upset. He tells Scout to be good and walks to the other side of the room. Shannon follows and tries to comfort him. Karen calls for Scout because it's time and Andrew starts crying. I have to admit, I'm almost crying because I recently lost my cat (she died), so reading this is hard. David Michael offers to let Shannon be partly Andrew's.
They all go say good-bye to Scout, who doesn't understand that she's leaving for good. All of the kids begin crying, though Karen is trying to hide it. Watson and Elizabeth take Scout out the door. David Michael takes Andrew outside, hoping to distract him with Shannon. Kristy takes Emily Michelle outside and they watch until the car can't be seen anymore. This part ended up being more of a summary, sorry. It's hard to snark when someone is losing an animal.
Chapter Fifteen
Return to your regularly scheduled snark. Anna and Ross are going on their date to the string quartet. Anna is nervous, but when she returns she announces that Ross asked her to the dance. At dinner, Anna is too nervous to eat much. I'm a little confused because it seems like Anna and Ross went to the string quartet on the same day as the dance... Isn't the morning of a little late to ask a girl to the dance? Regardless, Anna sails out with Ross. Anny and Kristy aren't going to the dance, but to a horror film and then out for pizza. A date? Hmm, I have to wonder...
They get downtown and go into the theatre. The manager of the theatre announces that the person who has a small red heart on their ticket wins something special. Of course, it's Abby. She gets a huge box of Valentine's chocolates, which embarrasses the hell out of her because some eighth grade boys from SMS, like Alan Gray, are there to tease her for winning. Kristy thinks it's hysterical and teases Abby about sharing the box with a special person. I know you're hoping it's you, Kristy. Abby tells her that she's going to save it for the BSC meeting on Monday. Then she and Kristy settle back for the rest of their date the movie.
All in all, it wasn't a bad book... It was kind of nice to read a BSC story where someone doesn't want to date and actually sticks to their guns about it. I just wish Abby hadn't been such a bitch to Ross. That kind of ruined it.
Next up: I thought I'd snark the rest of the BSC Friends Forever series if anyone is interested. I have FF #6: Kristy Power on the desk right beside me. Anyone up for that?
Chapter Eight
Abby gets up with the intention of going for a run, but it's snowing so hard she decides against it and goes back to bed. I can't help but think that Kristy would have been out there anyway, screaming "Nature doesn't rule me. I rule nature!" but anyway... The second time she gets up, she settles down to do some homework. Anna comes up and says someone is here to see her. Thinking it's Kristy, Abby steps outside in old sweats, ratty slippers, and hair that hasn't been brushed, only to see Ross Brown there with pink roses. Abby is totally calm about this, and I have to call BS in a way... I don't even like being seen by my family dressed like that, much less a boy I would go to school with. Furthermore, Anna clearly has a crush on Ross. She "looked positively animated all of a sudden" (remember those flashing red lights we talked about, Abby?). I find it hilarious that she intentionally didn't tell Abby that Ross was the visitor. Subtle sabotage? Anna you'd fit right in at the BSC.
Anna takes the roses (which Abby is allergic to) and Abby gets her on bitch on. Seriously, Abby! She's all "who had invited him?" and "I didn't want to encourage him". Again, there's a huge difference between not encouraging someone and being needlessly rude/cruel. Every time Ross tries to make conversation she cuts him off. When she thanks him for the roses, she says, "Thanks for the roses. They're very... pink." Really? Really? Pink? That's the best you can come up with? Abby's just being mean. She "more or less [herds] him out the door" and feels guilty when Ross waves at her. Then she decides she doesn't need to feel guilty because she's only guilty of "not wanting to date someone who wanted to date me". I facepalm. Even Kristy's better than this. Anna returns with the roses and Abby tells her to keep them in her room. Anna comments on how sweet it was of Ross (at least someone appreciates him) and Abby coldly says that they make her sneeze. Boy's not a mindreader, Abby. Abby goes into her room and starts trying to think about how to get Ross to stay away.
The next morning, Abby goes to school and sees a red carnation in front of her locker. She says it makes her locker look like a tombstone. I wonder if Abby's got a romantic bone... hell, a romantic notion in her body. Ross has also written her a poem:
Although she cannot the sound of music hear,
Her name is music unto mine ear.
And if roses make her sneeze,
Perhaps this carnation will then please.
For Abby and the flowers are one,
But she's the fairest flower under the sun.
He's no Shakespeare, but for a teenage boy to write something like that... well, you know. Abby is embarrassed by both the flower and the poem and shoves them into her locker before heading to English class. Every time Ross smiles at her, she rolls her eyes. Bitch, Abby. Stop turning into Dawn. Abby reads Shakespeare's Sonnet 130 (I'm not typing it out, go look it up) hoping to trip her teacher up. She's an English teacher, Abby, I assure you she's well versed in Shakespeare. Ross says the poem is about "true love", Abby says it's about "reality". Technically, I think they're both right, but not in the way Abby means. She sulks for the rest of class and as she's walking out, decides that Ross and Anna would be perfect for each other. It's Operation "Make my stalker love my twin instead". Does Abby read SVH?
Chapter Nine
Claudia is baby-sitting for the Thomas-Brewers because Kristy has a dentist appointment and Nannie is cooking for her catering business (I remember the LS book about this). Wanting to be pepared, Claudia brings along a book about guide dogs. Karen and David Michael want to make catnip mice for Pumpkin and Tigger. This actually sounds kind of like fun, though it also sounds complicated for kids, since they have to sew the two sides of the mice together. I have a hard time believing David Michael is interested in this.
Claudia goes to find Andrew and finds him packing a suitcase, getting ready to run away from home with Scout. Claudia explains that when Scout goes to school, she'll graduate and become the partner of someone who really needs her. Andrew says that when Scout is gone, he won't have a pet of his own. I feel so bad for the poor kid. Claudia can't think of anything to say to that, because really, what would you say? It's a painful situation to be in. She finally offers to read the book about guide dogs to him and he accepts.
Chapter Ten
At the BSC meeting, Stacey says that it's nice that Ross sent Abby the roses and carnation. Abby gets bitchy about how the roses made her sneeze and Ross doesn't understand the word no. Kristy understands and says now Ross will lose a friend and a dance date. Stacey asks if Abby liked the book of New Yorker cartoons that Ross left her and admits that Ross asked Stacey what Abby would like. Abby freaks out on Stacey for giving Ross advice when Stacey knows that Abby isn't interested. Claudia jumps in and says that she think Abby is just overwhelmed since she's never had a boyfriend before, which brings out Abby's bitchiness even more. Abby says, "A, don't patronize me. B, I've had a boyfriend, just not in Stoneybrook. I've had plenty of them... And C, I would never, ever, ever go out with someone just for the sake of going out with someone. I'll never be that desperate and dishonest."
Burn, Abby! On the one hand, I do think this applies to some members of the BSC, like Stacey. Stacey is totally the kind of girl who will always want what she can't have, and the concept of not having a boyfriend doesn't seem to have occurred to her. However, on the other hand, it's really bitchy to imply that about one of your friends. I don't like Abby in this book. She's not very nice. Claudia and Stacey get upset at the implication and Abby says "if the shoe fits".
Jessi breaks things up by changing the subject to Andrew. Then the meeting breaks up. As Abby and Kristy walk to the car and Abby notes that she probably made Mary Anne, Claudia, and Stacey upset. Well yeah, Abby, you basically implied they're sluts. Kristy suggests that maybe everyone needs some space. In the car, Abby asks Charlie for advice. Charlie tells her to sit Ross down and explain to him that no matter what he does, Abby isn't going to go out with him. He also says that she should return any other gifts that Ross gives her. For once, Charlie isn't just a chauffer, he actually helps! At home, Anna tries to confront Abby about Ross, and Abby suggests that Anna go to the dance with Ross. When Anna says that Ross likes Abby, Abby gets a Great Idea.
Chapter Eleven
Abby decides to make Ross and Anna spend time together so that Ross will see Anna is his perfect match. She tells Ross to come over to her house so that they can talk. Ross is all excited. Abby flags down Kristy and tells Kristy to call ten minutes after Ross will arrive with an emergency. Then she moves on to Anna (um, shouldn't she have gotten Anna to agree first? What if Anna says no?), who thinks that she's crazy, but finally agrees. Abby congratulates herself on being right about Anna liking Ross, because Anna is visibly nervous as it draws closer to Ross's arrival. She ends up lending Anna her favorite shirt.
Ross arrives and thinks that Anna is Abby because of the shirt. Instead of telling him, Abby runs to the phone and calls Kristy. Kristy finds the situation hilarious and tells Abby to join them and "see how it goes". Why don't you just tell Ross the truth? Is that just too hard or what? Anna hasn't told him, either, and it seems like she wants to continue the charade. Ms. Stevenson arrives home and the girls panic because apparently Ms. S can tell them apart. Mrs. S blows their cover by calling Abby by her name.
Chapter Twelve
Ross is angry (I guess he thinks that the twins were trying to make a fool of him? It's not really explained) and leaves quickly. Anna is mad at Abby for ruining her chances with Ross. Abby points out that Anna is the one who had ample opportunity to tell Ross. Anna says she couldn't tell him because Ross would think they did it on purpose and then hate her forever... which is exactly what happened, so it wasn't like they had much to lose. Now Ross also thinks that they're liars, instead of being honest. Abby promises to make it right as Anna storms away. She contemplates talking to her mother but decides against it. Yes, because that would break the BSC cardinal rule: screw adults, thou shalt handle everything thouself.
Abby arrives at school and is relieved that no one asks her about the twin switch. Did you really think that Ross was going to tell everyone, considering how humiliated he must be? She tracks down Ross and tries to speak to him, but he walks right by her. Abby is shocked and ends up avoiding all of her friends at lunch. She's too nervous to go to the BSC meeting alone, so she makes sure to catch a ride with Kristy. The girls start talking about the weather and Mary Anne inadvertently mentions the dance, which causes everyone to fall silent. Abby feels uncomfortable and awkward, because she knows this is her fault (duh).
So she apologizes for what she said at the last meeting. Mary Anne apologizes for making Abby feel that having a date was so important. Amazingly, she doesn't cry. Stacey and Claudia apologize for pressuring Abby about Ross. Once everyone is back on track, Mary Anne, Stacey, Claudia and Jessi start gossiping about clothing while Kristy and Abby make faces at each other. Are we sure this is a BSC meeting? Is K-Ron sick?
Chapter Thirteen
Abby returns home to find not everything is okay with Anna, who tried to apologize to Ross only to be ignored. Unlike most Stoneybrook parents (must be because she's from out of town?) Ms. S notices something is wrong and wants to know what's up. Anna starts telling her about Ross, forcing Abby to fess the whole story up. Ms. S doesn't have any advice, but says that it might take time for Ross to recover. Anna contemplates sending Ross a note and Abby advises her not to in case it fell into the wrong hands. She doesn't want her bitchy behaviour spread all over SMS.
The twins decide to go to Ross's house and make him listen. Abby barges into his house, dragging Anna along, and says that they came to talk. Abby starts by apologizing to both of them and (finally!) explains to Ross that when she said she didn't want a boyfriend, she was serious, and that she shouldn't have acted like it was a joke. Ross apologizes for not listening to her better. Abby explains about the twin swap mistake. Ross realizes that it was Anna talking to him and that they like the same things. Ross asks Anna out on a date, not to the dance, but to go hear a string quartet. Everyone's happy.
Chapter Fourteen
The day for Scout's departure has arrived. Kristy gets up and finds Karen and David Michael giving Scout a bath so that she'll perfect when she goes to school, because "it's not easy being the new kid". Why can't Karen be more like this in the LS books? She's annoying sometimes, but she also seems like a sweet kid. Andrew barges in and demands to know what they're doing to "his dog". Kristy stops Karen from fighting with Andrew by suggesting that they give Shannon a bath as well. Kristy tries to eat breakfast but gets upset, so instead she decides to go and see how Andrew is doing.
Andrew has locked his door, but Kristy manages to get inside. Kristy pretends that she's a blind person who is adopting Scout who is going to treat the dog wonderfully and give her an excellent home. Then it's time for Scout to leave. They all go downstairs and Andrew is upset. He tells Scout to be good and walks to the other side of the room. Shannon follows and tries to comfort him. Karen calls for Scout because it's time and Andrew starts crying. I have to admit, I'm almost crying because I recently lost my cat (she died), so reading this is hard. David Michael offers to let Shannon be partly Andrew's.
They all go say good-bye to Scout, who doesn't understand that she's leaving for good. All of the kids begin crying, though Karen is trying to hide it. Watson and Elizabeth take Scout out the door. David Michael takes Andrew outside, hoping to distract him with Shannon. Kristy takes Emily Michelle outside and they watch until the car can't be seen anymore. This part ended up being more of a summary, sorry. It's hard to snark when someone is losing an animal.
Chapter Fifteen
Return to your regularly scheduled snark. Anna and Ross are going on their date to the string quartet. Anna is nervous, but when she returns she announces that Ross asked her to the dance. At dinner, Anna is too nervous to eat much. I'm a little confused because it seems like Anna and Ross went to the string quartet on the same day as the dance... Isn't the morning of a little late to ask a girl to the dance? Regardless, Anna sails out with Ross. Anny and Kristy aren't going to the dance, but to a horror film and then out for pizza. A date? Hmm, I have to wonder...
They get downtown and go into the theatre. The manager of the theatre announces that the person who has a small red heart on their ticket wins something special. Of course, it's Abby. She gets a huge box of Valentine's chocolates, which embarrasses the hell out of her because some eighth grade boys from SMS, like Alan Gray, are there to tease her for winning. Kristy thinks it's hysterical and teases Abby about sharing the box with a special person. I know you're hoping it's you, Kristy. Abby tells her that she's going to save it for the BSC meeting on Monday. Then she and Kristy settle back for the rest of their date the movie.
All in all, it wasn't a bad book... It was kind of nice to read a BSC story where someone doesn't want to date and actually sticks to their guns about it. I just wish Abby hadn't been such a bitch to Ross. That kind of ruined it.
Next up: I thought I'd snark the rest of the BSC Friends Forever series if anyone is interested. I have FF #6: Kristy Power on the desk right beside me. Anyone up for that?