WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
First: I had no real intention of watching Eastwick, but then greensilver invited me over to watch it with fangirls, and of course it is a well-documented fact that I can't say no to fangirls, and actually... I might totally have to watch that show now. Paul Gross is having THE MOST FUN ANYONE HAS EVER HAD ON TELEVISION, and it is a bad show, but it knows it's bad, so... I don't know! It was fun. And the cast is exceedingly pretty. And PAUL GROSS. Is having SO MUCH FUN. Dammit! I don't have time to watch anything else! Especially on Wednesdays or Thursdays! Sigh. Though I will say that of all the ridiculous things about that show, the one thing I really object to so far is >the one reporter woman's power of making guys do whatever she wants. I mean... obviously somewhere this started out as a metaphor for how she needs to stand up for herself, but used the way they use it? It comes off as the EXACT OPPOSITE. Like, she should get a promotion because she is (allegedly) a good writer, not because she commands her boss to do it with her magic eyes! And the fact that this power only works on men (and only after she takes off her glasses and lets down her hair) is just... ew. Campy is fine, ridiculousness is fine, but that particular aspect makes me uncomfortable. But otherwise, I enjoyed it way more than I expected to.
Also I have found the greatest site on the internet: textsfromlastnight.com (I may be the last person on the internets to have discovered this, whatever). Where people submit text messages they have sent/received, frequently debriefing drunken shenanigans from the night before. Like so (the numbers in parentheses are the area codes):
(802): My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
(516): is she hot?
(802): She is now
(816): Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
(585): WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
(573): My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
(334): i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
(1-334): so you're single again?
(334): yea but it was worth it
(985): Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
(202): yo i have your phone
(202):... oh so you probably won't get this message
(818): I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
(310): wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
(818): why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
(734): I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
(1-734): Shittttttt.
(734): Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
(248): Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
(910): it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
(804): You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
(1-804): If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
... I CANNOT WALK AWAY. THEY ARE ALL HILARIOUS. AND they give users the option of rating "good night" or "bad night," which is also good times. And also? Dude, my life is SO BORING, compared to these people's! I have not woken up in a running shower ONCE. DAMMIT. My youth was so tragically non-misspent!
Also I have found the greatest site on the internet: textsfromlastnight.com (I may be the last person on the internets to have discovered this, whatever). Where people submit text messages they have sent/received, frequently debriefing drunken shenanigans from the night before. Like so (the numbers in parentheses are the area codes):
(802): My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
(516): is she hot?
(802): She is now
(816): Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
(585): WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
(573): My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
(334): i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
(1-334): so you're single again?
(334): yea but it was worth it
(985): Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
(202): yo i have your phone
(202):... oh so you probably won't get this message
(818): I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
(310): wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
(818): why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
(734): I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
(1-734): Shittttttt.
(734): Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
(248): Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
(910): it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
(804): You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
(1-804): If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
... I CANNOT WALK AWAY. THEY ARE ALL HILARIOUS. AND they give users the option of rating "good night" or "bad night," which is also good times. And also? Dude, my life is SO BORING, compared to these people's! I have not woken up in a running shower ONCE. DAMMIT. My youth was so tragically non-misspent!