(no subject)
i'm looking at my user picture for livejournal and i'm realizing how old it is. i think i must be just barely 16. i'm 17 now, and while the age difference between 16 and 17 is not an extreme gap, taking into consideration other factors can alter time a bit.
for some time, i began to get lost in memories. memories felt safe. memories had already happened and i knew what the outcome was. it's because i was afraid of the future. i never thought i would be afraid of the future. then agian, nothing ever goes the way you think it will.
needless to say, change has occurred over the summer. but i'm sure everyone changes at least a little bit in those 2 months of summer time sun. even though this summer wasn't as sunny as previous ones, what with the many rainy days there were.
a slow motion summer. i say that because the exciting times were spread apart. and in between was.....down time....
but what this slow motion summer really allowed to happen was that there was more chances to think about the truly special things in my life. what meant the most to me. what i needed to do. what my problems were. i recognized that the future, my future is gonna happen and there's nothing i can do to...
i would never want to stop it though.
like all summers, i did not succeed at doing all the stuff i wanted to do.
candy wanted to go to six flags or shittybahn: we never went.
i wanted to read more than 5 books: i read 1 book in its entirety
i was gonna stay super toned: i worked out less than i did when school was still in session
i was gonna be single and wild and not gonna give a damn: i fell in love with william
william. william. william. william is getting out. i keep wanting to say that i don't want him to leave. to stay here, "stay here william, stay with me." but i don't say it because i wouldn't actually wanna make him do that. he's getting away. he's moving on, and that is so beautiful. i look forward to disney.
when school starts tomorrow, within the first half of the day, i think i'll know whats up.
here's my prediction for this school year:
my senior year in high school. supposedley a big deal. but is it? maybe a little. i need to harvest the spirit, for it is my last chance. i think this year will be full of little surprises. some good some bad, but mostly good. i think this year will be like this summer and i will spend most of my time waiting to go. or maybe i won't have time to wait. i'll miss william.
for some time, i began to get lost in memories. memories felt safe. memories had already happened and i knew what the outcome was. it's because i was afraid of the future. i never thought i would be afraid of the future. then agian, nothing ever goes the way you think it will.
needless to say, change has occurred over the summer. but i'm sure everyone changes at least a little bit in those 2 months of summer time sun. even though this summer wasn't as sunny as previous ones, what with the many rainy days there were.
a slow motion summer. i say that because the exciting times were spread apart. and in between was.....down time....
but what this slow motion summer really allowed to happen was that there was more chances to think about the truly special things in my life. what meant the most to me. what i needed to do. what my problems were. i recognized that the future, my future is gonna happen and there's nothing i can do to...
i would never want to stop it though.
like all summers, i did not succeed at doing all the stuff i wanted to do.
candy wanted to go to six flags or shittybahn: we never went.
i wanted to read more than 5 books: i read 1 book in its entirety
i was gonna stay super toned: i worked out less than i did when school was still in session
i was gonna be single and wild and not gonna give a damn: i fell in love with william
william. william. william. william is getting out. i keep wanting to say that i don't want him to leave. to stay here, "stay here william, stay with me." but i don't say it because i wouldn't actually wanna make him do that. he's getting away. he's moving on, and that is so beautiful. i look forward to disney.
when school starts tomorrow, within the first half of the day, i think i'll know whats up.
here's my prediction for this school year:
my senior year in high school. supposedley a big deal. but is it? maybe a little. i need to harvest the spirit, for it is my last chance. i think this year will be full of little surprises. some good some bad, but mostly good. i think this year will be like this summer and i will spend most of my time waiting to go. or maybe i won't have time to wait. i'll miss william.