I am

[brokensalvation]

Absolutely miserable. Fred has been working for his step dad and mother for nearly 6 months now, and still has yet to be paid. We're stuck living with them and it's gotten to the point where I am severely FUCKED in the head. I'm angry. I have never had anger issues before in my life, and now I don't trust myself around anyone or anything. Things have been such absolute shit that even stupid little things that anyone would just shrug off turns into a mega deal with me. For example when Mic invited me to go to the beach with her and her family. I was so thrilled that I'd be seeing her and getting out of the house. A few hours later, and I'm nearly in full out rage because of assumptions. It's not healthy, and there's no fucking way out.

We want to move out, but we can't. They need to pay us. Even if/when we have the money, we have shitty credit, and Ray's garage isn't a legit business, so in actuality, no one will even sell us a flaming bag of dog shit.

At the moment, I'm fucking hiding up in our room. 1 room for 2 adults, a baby, and all their belongings. I'm not even going to fucking get started on that. But how sad is it that I have to literately lock myself away from my mother in law, in fear of finally losing it and either flipping the fuck out, or beating the ever loving shit out of her. Fuck, just the thought of smashing her face into a wall brings me a little joy.

I'm so horribly fucked up