i think i need to share this with you guys
now, i don't like to to do the soapbox thing very often, or if at all. i have enough drama at work and at home and with close friends to not have to deal with drama amongst my online friends, or my online play areas like livejournal.
i've been lucky i think. i've been here for almost five years now and other than a few crazy years at the beginning have managed to settle into my nice little corner of the internet, found some amazing people and have been able to ramble away incoherently and without proper sentence structure or capitalization without so much as a care.
it's just how i like it. i've dealt with minimal drama, minimal friend related issues, minimal fandom meltdowns, and again *knock on wood* i'm very happy with that.
now saying all this, i want to share some of my own personal keys to happiness in livejournal in the internets with you.
i've had more than a few conversations with different people at different times that all seem to settle around the same issues with livejournal.
that they're not happy.
it's tough, i know. but i think there are ways to improve your life surrounding your blogging community.
i mean, i have good days and i have bad days, but ultimately. i love keeping a blog. it makes me happy. i like having the memories, the outlet, the escape. to me, it completes me.
and i want to put down my thoughts. engrave it in the theoretical stone for all to see. and tell you why i am happy.
maybe in reading, those flisters who find themselves drowning in doubt and frustration with the world of fandom and fen and blogging in general, will find some happiness themselves.
my space
this one comes up a lot in conversations. but really, this is a major key to my happiness. knowing that i have my space.
fandom will come and go. friends will come and go. communities, same thing. point is, if you have a space that you use for yourself. your own mindless, inane comments about your life and the progress of all the events in it. it's special. it's you. just you. and no one can take that away. (unless, you don't pay your bills ;) and really, if you genuinely take pleasure in letting loose and enjoying your space, others will pick up on that. and they'll want to share that with you.
another reason why your space is important is because it's your escape, it's your safe place. this is where fandom drama comes in. when things go down the tube (which is inevitable. fandom is a rollercoaster with ups and downs and fucking loop'de-loops) point is. when it all goes to hell, when you have your own space. you can bitch, complain, whine and post whatever you feel about your fandom without having to worry about mods or trolls or anyone. it's just you.
i personally take my space very seriously. i think you guys all have been aware that no team is safe from razzing, and that i'll share my opinions how i want to, when i want to. this is my journal. i pay the bills, it's my space. if you don't like it, shove off. go somewhere else. go post in your own journal. but don't bitch about it in mine. i'll more than likely ban you or defriend you. and you don't like it, too bad. it's my space. my rules. and i don't force anyone to live with those rules. you don't like it. go somewhere else. i don't care. i'm here for me, blogging makes me happy. so lay off.
a lot of people i know don't take ownership of their own space. they fear negativity and outrage and complaining. i was like that for the longest time, but once i realized that when you are upfront with people, and when you lay down the law. people respect that. and if they don't, well, too bad. go to hell. my space. take it or leave it.
i've found that a lot of people respect that kind of honesty. i don't agree with everyone on my flist, but that doesn't mean i hate them. just means we don't agree. and i'm cool with that.
my goal
another reason why i've discovered lj/blogging happiness is that i've discovered my goal. my goal when it comes to sharing myself online.
it sounds ridiculous, but really, once you've come to terms with exactly what you want to accomplish with livejournal and other blogging communities, there's less frustration. less disappointment...and you ultimately feel like you know what you're doing.
myself, my goal is to get to know good, well-meaning people who i can share my experiences with and connect over a number of things. i don't like to tie myself down to one fandom. i'm really known as a fandom butterfly, and the people i get to know the most are ones that i can talk about a multitude of things with. ultimately, i want to keep myself happy, and i love getting to know good friends on a personal level, especially when i get to send them neat random gifts for the most random of occasions. just because i love sharing. i love sharing my humour, my rants, my photos, my crafts, my puckbunny moments and my life moments.
i love to share. and my goal to be happy when i'm sharing. so if i get bogged down with drama or arguing or whatever, i want to be able to logically take a step back and look at what's going on and pull myself out of there because if i'm not sharing in a way that is making me or my friends happy, then what's the point? i mean really. it's ridiculous.
and this also comes down to fic and to other things i share, like photos or crafts or ideas.
my goal isn't to impress, or flatter, or coax. i'm not trying to suck compliments out of anyone, or hurt anyone. i don't want to belittle anyone or anything. i have my moments where i'm angry or ranting but everyone has those. it's just something that happens. but it isn't my goal.
i don't wake up in the morning and decide my goal is to hurt people. my goal is be happy and share.
writing makes me happy. posting and sharing it makes me happier. i write for me, and by sharing, i can possibly make others happy. comments are fantastic, but they're not necessary to make me happy. the fact that i took the time, stuck it out under duress and frustration and managed to create something that ultimately made me smile or be proud of myself, that makes me happy enough. comments are gravy!
i realize it's not easy for everyone to think that way, it's tough. so much of our lives are spent wondering if we're liked, if we're well thought of or loved. we're always competitive and want to be top dog and in so many cases our confidence takes such a bad toll that it's difficult to even think that way.
but you start small, imo, start by just enjoying you. i know it sounds terrible and cheesy, but i love me. i love who i am. i'm not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but i'm a good person. i work hard, i love passionately and i try to live life the best i possibly can, cause life is too short to be miserable.
life is too short period.
which takes me to my third key to my online happiness.
my confidence
confidence seems to be the secret to happiness in life in general isn't it? it's sad. but true. many people look at confidence as something unattainable, something that you can never fully achieve. but that's not true.
it's starts by not wanting to be anyone else. not wanting to be under anyone's influence, not wanting to be judged by anyone else's actions but your own.
confidence online is magical. magical i say! when you feel comfortable in your own skin, it finds its way online. if you *love* who you are, and if you show enthusiasm for your own life, your own achievements and never showing regret or remorse about your own attributes, well, everyone will pick up on that! people, even in 2D internet form, understand and feel that!
the neatest, and deepest comment i ever heard in my life so far came from a conversation at work years ago,
'how can you expect anyone else to like you, if you don't like you?'
and it's true. if you love your blog, love your identity, love your icons and the silly way you write your comments, well, it radiates. radiates into the internet like warm sunshine. it's addicting and people gravitate towards it.
it's so... odd, confidence. it's that intangible that you can't seem to figure out. and it's true. it makes things so much easier, in real life and online. but it's worth working on. when you love yourself, no matter what happens in life, online or not, you'll pull through. you'll survive. cause nobody can take that away from you. ever. cause you know better. you are better, cause you're you. so embrace yourself. give yourself a hug and be you!
remember too, that if people don't like it. they can lump it, cause really, if you're confident in yourself, those things become pretty trivial.
and i know it's like the cheesiest thing in the world to read, and to have suggested to you. but really, as soon as i realized that i was a good person. even if i'm an overweight, buxom faux blonde who works retail for a living, i'm important and interesting and you know what it makes it easier to live, and to share. and i want to share that happiness with everyone else.
and if you don't want any of my happiness, well, that's okay, you're entitled. you have your space. tell me, if you want to be crotchety in your own little corner of the internet and you are being crotchety in your own little corner of the internet, then aren't you truly happy then? cause you're doing what you want without letting anyone stand in your way, and isn't that in itself happiness?
think about it. it's true.
anyways, i think that's all the soapboxing i'm going to do for the night. i know it sounds preachy, but it's how i feel. i've been wanting to tell a lot of people this for years. life is just too short to be unhappy. and it's up to us to enjoy it to our fullest capabilities. i've seen a lot of tragedy, and a lot of turmoil in my young life, nothing like a lot of people's turmoil and tragedy, but tragic enough for me in my circumstances, and it's shown me just how important it is to enjoy ourselves, enjoy our friends and ultimately enjoy the beautiful gift that is our life.
i love every single one of you.
much love,
<3 bbunny
i've been lucky i think. i've been here for almost five years now and other than a few crazy years at the beginning have managed to settle into my nice little corner of the internet, found some amazing people and have been able to ramble away incoherently and without proper sentence structure or capitalization without so much as a care.
it's just how i like it. i've dealt with minimal drama, minimal friend related issues, minimal fandom meltdowns, and again *knock on wood* i'm very happy with that.
now saying all this, i want to share some of my own personal keys to happiness in livejournal in the internets with you.
i've had more than a few conversations with different people at different times that all seem to settle around the same issues with livejournal.
that they're not happy.
it's tough, i know. but i think there are ways to improve your life surrounding your blogging community.
i mean, i have good days and i have bad days, but ultimately. i love keeping a blog. it makes me happy. i like having the memories, the outlet, the escape. to me, it completes me.
and i want to put down my thoughts. engrave it in the theoretical stone for all to see. and tell you why i am happy.
maybe in reading, those flisters who find themselves drowning in doubt and frustration with the world of fandom and fen and blogging in general, will find some happiness themselves.
my space
this one comes up a lot in conversations. but really, this is a major key to my happiness. knowing that i have my space.
fandom will come and go. friends will come and go. communities, same thing. point is, if you have a space that you use for yourself. your own mindless, inane comments about your life and the progress of all the events in it. it's special. it's you. just you. and no one can take that away. (unless, you don't pay your bills ;) and really, if you genuinely take pleasure in letting loose and enjoying your space, others will pick up on that. and they'll want to share that with you.
another reason why your space is important is because it's your escape, it's your safe place. this is where fandom drama comes in. when things go down the tube (which is inevitable. fandom is a rollercoaster with ups and downs and fucking loop'de-loops) point is. when it all goes to hell, when you have your own space. you can bitch, complain, whine and post whatever you feel about your fandom without having to worry about mods or trolls or anyone. it's just you.
i personally take my space very seriously. i think you guys all have been aware that no team is safe from razzing, and that i'll share my opinions how i want to, when i want to. this is my journal. i pay the bills, it's my space. if you don't like it, shove off. go somewhere else. go post in your own journal. but don't bitch about it in mine. i'll more than likely ban you or defriend you. and you don't like it, too bad. it's my space. my rules. and i don't force anyone to live with those rules. you don't like it. go somewhere else. i don't care. i'm here for me, blogging makes me happy. so lay off.
a lot of people i know don't take ownership of their own space. they fear negativity and outrage and complaining. i was like that for the longest time, but once i realized that when you are upfront with people, and when you lay down the law. people respect that. and if they don't, well, too bad. go to hell. my space. take it or leave it.
i've found that a lot of people respect that kind of honesty. i don't agree with everyone on my flist, but that doesn't mean i hate them. just means we don't agree. and i'm cool with that.
my goal
another reason why i've discovered lj/blogging happiness is that i've discovered my goal. my goal when it comes to sharing myself online.
it sounds ridiculous, but really, once you've come to terms with exactly what you want to accomplish with livejournal and other blogging communities, there's less frustration. less disappointment...and you ultimately feel like you know what you're doing.
myself, my goal is to get to know good, well-meaning people who i can share my experiences with and connect over a number of things. i don't like to tie myself down to one fandom. i'm really known as a fandom butterfly, and the people i get to know the most are ones that i can talk about a multitude of things with. ultimately, i want to keep myself happy, and i love getting to know good friends on a personal level, especially when i get to send them neat random gifts for the most random of occasions. just because i love sharing. i love sharing my humour, my rants, my photos, my crafts, my puckbunny moments and my life moments.
i love to share. and my goal to be happy when i'm sharing. so if i get bogged down with drama or arguing or whatever, i want to be able to logically take a step back and look at what's going on and pull myself out of there because if i'm not sharing in a way that is making me or my friends happy, then what's the point? i mean really. it's ridiculous.
and this also comes down to fic and to other things i share, like photos or crafts or ideas.
my goal isn't to impress, or flatter, or coax. i'm not trying to suck compliments out of anyone, or hurt anyone. i don't want to belittle anyone or anything. i have my moments where i'm angry or ranting but everyone has those. it's just something that happens. but it isn't my goal.
i don't wake up in the morning and decide my goal is to hurt people. my goal is be happy and share.
writing makes me happy. posting and sharing it makes me happier. i write for me, and by sharing, i can possibly make others happy. comments are fantastic, but they're not necessary to make me happy. the fact that i took the time, stuck it out under duress and frustration and managed to create something that ultimately made me smile or be proud of myself, that makes me happy enough. comments are gravy!
i realize it's not easy for everyone to think that way, it's tough. so much of our lives are spent wondering if we're liked, if we're well thought of or loved. we're always competitive and want to be top dog and in so many cases our confidence takes such a bad toll that it's difficult to even think that way.
but you start small, imo, start by just enjoying you. i know it sounds terrible and cheesy, but i love me. i love who i am. i'm not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but i'm a good person. i work hard, i love passionately and i try to live life the best i possibly can, cause life is too short to be miserable.
life is too short period.
which takes me to my third key to my online happiness.
my confidence
confidence seems to be the secret to happiness in life in general isn't it? it's sad. but true. many people look at confidence as something unattainable, something that you can never fully achieve. but that's not true.
it's starts by not wanting to be anyone else. not wanting to be under anyone's influence, not wanting to be judged by anyone else's actions but your own.
confidence online is magical. magical i say! when you feel comfortable in your own skin, it finds its way online. if you *love* who you are, and if you show enthusiasm for your own life, your own achievements and never showing regret or remorse about your own attributes, well, everyone will pick up on that! people, even in 2D internet form, understand and feel that!
the neatest, and deepest comment i ever heard in my life so far came from a conversation at work years ago,
'how can you expect anyone else to like you, if you don't like you?'
and it's true. if you love your blog, love your identity, love your icons and the silly way you write your comments, well, it radiates. radiates into the internet like warm sunshine. it's addicting and people gravitate towards it.
it's so... odd, confidence. it's that intangible that you can't seem to figure out. and it's true. it makes things so much easier, in real life and online. but it's worth working on. when you love yourself, no matter what happens in life, online or not, you'll pull through. you'll survive. cause nobody can take that away from you. ever. cause you know better. you are better, cause you're you. so embrace yourself. give yourself a hug and be you!
remember too, that if people don't like it. they can lump it, cause really, if you're confident in yourself, those things become pretty trivial.
and i know it's like the cheesiest thing in the world to read, and to have suggested to you. but really, as soon as i realized that i was a good person. even if i'm an overweight, buxom faux blonde who works retail for a living, i'm important and interesting and you know what it makes it easier to live, and to share. and i want to share that happiness with everyone else.
and if you don't want any of my happiness, well, that's okay, you're entitled. you have your space. tell me, if you want to be crotchety in your own little corner of the internet and you are being crotchety in your own little corner of the internet, then aren't you truly happy then? cause you're doing what you want without letting anyone stand in your way, and isn't that in itself happiness?
think about it. it's true.
anyways, i think that's all the soapboxing i'm going to do for the night. i know it sounds preachy, but it's how i feel. i've been wanting to tell a lot of people this for years. life is just too short to be unhappy. and it's up to us to enjoy it to our fullest capabilities. i've seen a lot of tragedy, and a lot of turmoil in my young life, nothing like a lot of people's turmoil and tragedy, but tragic enough for me in my circumstances, and it's shown me just how important it is to enjoy ourselves, enjoy our friends and ultimately enjoy the beautiful gift that is our life.
i love every single one of you.
much love,
<3 bbunny